散文佳作108篇 第76期:Integrity正直

正直

-From A Mother in Mannville

——節(jié)選自《媽媽住在曼菲爾》

M.K.Rawlings

M.K.羅林茲

The Orphanage is high in the Carolina mountains. Sometimes in winter the snowdrifts are sodeep that the institution is cut off from the village below,from all the world. Fog hides themountain peaks, the snow swirls down the valleys, and a wind blows so bitterly that theorphanage boys who take the milk twice daily to the baby cottage reach the door with fingersstiff in anagony of numbness.

在卡羅來納的山地里，有一座孤兒院坐落在高處。隆冬時(shí)節(jié)，風(fēng)雪交加，有時(shí)候積雪堆得老高，將孤兒院與山下的村莊乃至整個(gè)外界完全隔斷。云霧遮蔽了重重峰巒，雪花飛旋著沖人山谷。在呼嘯的寒風(fēng)中，孤兒院的男孩們將一份份牛奶端到育嬰房去，一天得跑兩趟呢。當(dāng)他們走到育嬰房門口的時(shí)候，手指凍得僵硬，一點(diǎn)兒都不聽使喚了。

I was there in the autumn. I wanted quiet, isolation, to do some troublesome writing. I wantedmountain air to blow out the malaria from too long a time in the subtropics. I was homesick,too, for the flaming of maples in October,and for corn shocks and pumpkins and black-walnuttrees and the lift of hills. I found them all, living in a cabin that belonged to the orphanage, halfa mile beyond the orphanage farm. When I took the cabin, I asked for a boyor man to comeand chop wood for the fireplace. The first few days were warm, I found what wood I neededabout the cabin, no one came, and Iforgot the order.

我秋天就到了那里。我需要安靜，與世隔絕，好從事艱辛的創(chuàng)作。我需要山里的清風(fēng)，把久居亞熱帶地區(qū)染上的瘧疾吹散。我還想起家來，老惦著那十月間的楓葉似火，那一垛垛玉米秫秸，南瓜成堆，黑胡桃林子，還有隆起的山丘。我住在孤兒院的一間小屋里，距院農(nóng)場(chǎng)有半英里，這一切盡收眼底。我住進(jìn)去的時(shí)候，要求派個(gè)男孩或者男人幫我劈柴燒壁爐。頭幾天還算暖和，我在小屋的四周撿了點(diǎn)木柴，沒見人來，也就把這話給忘了。

I looked up from my typewriter one late afternoon, a little startled. A boystood at the door,and my pointer dog, my companion, was at his side and had not barked to warn me. The boywas probably twelve years old, but undersized. He wore overalls and a torn shirt, and wasbarefooted.

一天傍晚，我正在打字，猛抬頭不禁吃了一驚：有個(gè)男孩站在房門口，而跟我做伴的獵狗竟在他身邊默默呆著，連個(gè)招呼也沒跟我打一聲。這孩子大概有12歲，不過個(gè)子沒那么大，他穿著一條工裝褲，一件破舊的襯衣，光著兩腳。

He said, "I can chop some wood today."

他說：“我今天可以劈點(diǎn)兒木柴。”

I said, "But I have a boy coming from the orphanage."

我說：“可我請(qǐng)了孤兒院的孩子來劈。”

"I'm the boy."

“我就是。”

"You? But you're small."

“是你?可你還小呢。”

"Size don't matter, chopping wood," he said. "Some of the big boys don't chop good. I've beenchopping wood at the orphanage a long time."

“劈柴火可不論個(gè)頭兒，”他說，“有的大孩子還劈不好呢。我在孤兒院劈了好長(zhǎng)一陣了。”

I visualized mangled and inadequate branches for my fires. I was well into my work and notinclined to conversation. I was a little blunt."Very well. There's the ax. Go ahead and see whatyou can do."

我想象中出現(xiàn)了砍得亂七八糟的樹枝子，供不上壁爐燒的。我一心在寫作，沒有心思搭理他，話也說得有點(diǎn)生硬：“好了好了，去拿斧子吧。先劈劈再看吧。”

I went back to work,closing the door. At first the sound of the boy dragging brush annoyedme. Then he began to chop. The blows were rhythmic and steady, and shortly I had forgottenhim, the sound no more of an interruption than a consistent rain. I suppose an hour and ahalf passed, for when I stopped and stretched, and heard the boy's steps on the cabin stoop,the sun was dropping behind the farthest mountain, and the valleys were purplewith somethingdeeper than the asters.

我關(guān)上門，繼續(xù)寫作。起先聽他拽木頭，鬧得我心煩。后來他動(dòng)手劈柴了。他劈得錯(cuò)落有致，不緊不慢，我很快就把他忘了，那斧聲就跟一場(chǎng)綿綿細(xì)雨似的對(duì)我全無干擾。我估計(jì)他劈了有一個(gè)半小時(shí)吧，因?yàn)檫@時(shí)我歇下來舒展一下身子，聽見他正走上門口的臺(tái)階，夕陽已漸漸沉沒在遠(yuǎn)山的背后，壑谷間一片紫靄，顏色比翠菊還濃。

The boy said, "I have to go to supper now. I can come again tomorrow evening."

這孩子說道：“我得去吃晚飯了。我明晚再來。”

I said, "I'll pay you now for what you've done," thinking I should probably have to insist on anolder boy. "Ten cents an hour'?"

我說：“我這就把你的工錢結(jié)了吧，”心想恐怕還得換個(gè)大孩子來，“一小時(shí)算一毛?”

"Anything is all right."

“怎么都行。”

We went together back of the cabin. An astonishing amount of solid wood had been cut. Therewere cherry logs and heavy roots of rhododendron, and blocks from the waste pine and oakleft from the building of the cabin.

我們一起來到屋后。只見滿地都是劈好了的結(jié)結(jié)實(shí)實(shí)的木柴，簡(jiǎn)直令人咂舌。其中有櫻桃樹的圓木干和杜鵑灌木的粗根，就連蓋小屋剩下的廢松木和廢櫟木，也都劈成了大塊的木柴。

"But you've done as much as a man," I said. "This is a splendid pile."

“你可是跟大人劈得一樣多了，”我說，“瞧這么大一堆，太好了。”

I looked at him, actually, for the first time. His hair was the color of the corn shocks, and hiseyes, very direct, were like the mountain sky when rain is pending-gray, with a shadowing ofthat miraculous blue. As I spoke a light came over him, as though the setting sun hadtouched him with the same suffused glory with which it touched the mountains. I gave him aquarter.

我端詳著他，說真的，這還是頭一回。他的頭發(fā)呈玉米秫秸的顏色，兩眼里一片率真，像是山雨欲來的天空——灰暗中透出那奇異的天藍(lán)。我正說著，忽見他周身一片光亮，仿佛落日那灑滿群山的余輝也灑到了他身上。我給了他一枚兩角五分的硬幣。

"You may come tomorrow," I said, "and thank you very much."He looked at me, and at the coin,and seemed to want to speak, but could not, and turned away.

“你明天來吧，”我說，“多謝你了。”他看看我，又看看硬幣，好像要說什么，可又說不出來，就轉(zhuǎn)身離去。

"I'll split kindling tomorrow," he said over his thin ragged shoulder. "You'llneed kindling andmedium wood and logs and backlogs."

“明天我劈引火柴，”他回過頭來又說，襯衣的肩部都磨薄磨破了，“點(diǎn)火柴，引火柴，原木，墊底的，你都用得著。”

At daylight I was half wakened by the sound of chopping. Again it was so even in texture that Iwent back to sleep. When I left my bed in the cool morning, the boy had come and gone, and astack of kindling was neat against the cabin wall. He came again after school in the afternoonand worked until time to return to the orphanage. His name was Jerry; he was twelve years old,and he had been at the orphanage since he was four. I could picture him at four, with the samegrave gray-blue eyes and the same-independence? No, the word that comes to me is"integrity."

第二天黎明時(shí)分，一陣劈柴聲攪得我似醒非醒。那拍子依然不緊不慢，又把我?guī)Щ貕?mèng)鄉(xiāng)。我早上起床，天很涼，這孩子來過又走了，只見一堆引火柴整整齊齊碼在墻邊。他下午放學(xué)后又來了，一口氣干到該回孤兒院了才歇手。他叫杰里，12歲了，從四歲起就呆在孤兒院。我可以想象他四歲的樣子，也是這雙鄭重其事的灰藍(lán)色眼睛，也是這份自立?不，我想到的詞兒是“正直”。

The word means something very special to me, and the quality for which I use it is a rare one.My father had it-there is another of whom I am almost sure-but almost no man of myacquaintance possesses it with the clarity,the purity, the simplicity of a mountain stream.But the boy Jerry had it. It is bedded-on courage, but it is more than brave. It is honest, but itis more than honesty. The ax handle broke one day. Jerry said the woodshop at theorphanage would repair it. I brought money to pay for the job and he refused it.

這個(gè)詞對(duì)我有特殊的含義，我用它來說明一種難得的品格。我父親就有這種品格——我相信還有別人，但是在我的相識(shí)中幾乎沒有一個(gè)人像一泓山泉那般清澈、純潔和樸素地具備這種品格。然而杰里這孩子就有。他的正直植根于勇氣，但又超出勇敢。它是誠(chéng)實(shí)，但又超出誠(chéng)實(shí)。有一天，斧把斷了。杰里說孤兒院的木工房給修。我掏出修理費(fèi)，他不肯收。

"I'll pay for it," he said. "I broke it. I brought the ax down careless."

“這錢該我出，”他說，“我弄斷的。我砍得不小心。”

"But no one hits accurately every time," I told him. "The fault was in the wood of the handle.I'll see the man from whom I bought it.

“可誰都有個(gè)閃失的時(shí)候，”我對(duì)他說，“都怪木把不結(jié)實(shí)。我找賣斧子的去。”

"It was only then that he would take the money. He was standing back of his own carelessness. He was a free-will agent and he chose to do careful work, and if he failed, he took theresponsibility without subterfuge.

他這才肯把錢收下。他對(duì)自己的疏忽毫不遮掩。他是個(gè)自有主意的人，干活就要認(rèn)真干好，沒干好，他就承擔(dān)責(zé)任，決不借故推諉。