散文佳作108篇 第29期:夜間來客 A night Visitor

A night Visitor

——“名人”被訪實錄

-A true Story a ‘Celebrity’ Being Interviewed

樓適夷

By Lou Shiyi

老黃老了，人稱“黃老”。老啦，沒辦法，吃過晚飯，看了點電視新聞，有些迷糊了，打算洗個臉、泡泡腳，上床尋夢去。

Mr. Huang was old. People addressed him as “Respected Mr. Huang”. Being old, he easily gottired and could not help it. After supper, having watched News Today on the TV, he began tofeel sleepy, so he went about washing his face and feet before going to bed.

門鈴一響，來了客人。從不謝客，禮當(dāng)接待。忙把襪子穿上，整冠而出。來客紅光滿面，一開口就知道是遠(yuǎn)客。他拿出一張名片：“我是S文藝報記者，由X同志介紹來的。來京開會，兼帶訪問在京名人的使命。已拜訪過Z老、J老。”

Suddenly the door-bell rang, announcing the arrival of a visitor. As Mr. Huang had neverrefused any visit before, this one should be received with courtesy too. Quickly putting hissocks back on and smoothing his hair, he hurried to the door, and there he was confronted bya man with a glowing face. By the first word he uttered Mr. Huang knew that this man wasfrom a far-off place. The man took out a calling card from his pocket and said: “I’m a reporter ofthe Literature and Arts Gazette of S city, and I’m here to see you on Mr. X’s recommendation.I’ve come to attend a symposium in Beijing and in the meantime I’m visiting some celebritieshere. I’ve had the honor of visiting with Respected Mr. Z and Mr. J.”

“我算什么名人，哪能比他們兩老。既來之，則安之。那就請坐，不知要談點什么，請?zhí)岚?”

“I’m not much of a celebrity though. How can I be lined up with them. However, since you’vecome, come on in and take a seat. Whatever you want to talk about please go ahead.”

“您叫什么名字?”

“What’s your name?”

老黃嚇了一跳，訪問名人，居然連名字還沒搞清。

Mr. Huang was shocked. How come he is here visiting me as a “celebrity” and doesn’t evenknow my name?

“嗯嗯，我叫……”

“Well, my name is…”

“不，請教黃老的原名。”

“No, but I’m asking about your original name.”

“小時候媽媽叫我的嗎?八十年啦，自己也忘掉了，真抱歉。”

“You mean the one my mother gave me when I was small? But it was eighty years ago and I’veclean forgotten it myself. I’m sorry about that.”

“常用的筆名呢?”

“What about the pen name you use regularly?”

“亂七八糟地寫了那么些年，東換西換的，一時也排不出隊來了

“For so many years I’ve written all sorts of stuff under all sorts of pen names. I’m not sure Ican sort them out at the moment.”

于是，第二個問題：

Then came the second question.

“黃老哪里人，南方的?”

“Where are you from? From the south?”

“不錯，也不太南，就是你們那邊一律叫‘上海人’的那種地方。”

“Yes, quite, but not too far south. In fact I’m from a place where people are known to your areaas ‘Shanghainese’.”

“在哪工作，多少工資?”

“Where do you work and how much do you earn?”

“老啦，干不了啦，也沒什么工資，拿些退休金，就是外國人叫‘養(yǎng)老金領(lǐng)取者’

“I’m too old to work any more. I’m not drawing any salary except some pension-I’m a‘pensioner’ as the Westerners call it.”

“啊，離休了，每月多少，不少吧?”向會客室打量了一下。

“:I see. You’re retired. How much pension do you receive each month? Not too small a sum, Iguess?” he said, running his eyes around the sitting-room.

“還可以就是了!”

“Enough to keep me going, that’s all.”

見回答太簡單，另換題目了。

Thinking that the answers given were too curt and brief, he came up with a new idea.

“Shall we have a photo taken together?”

“咱們合照一個相。”從手提包中拿出攝影機(jī)來：“請剛才那位倒茶的，按一下就行!”

He produced a camera from his bag and went on: “Let’s ask the old woman to help us, the onewho’s just brought us tea. Give a push to the button. Just as simple as that.”

老黃心里對太太抱歉了，連忙聲明：“對不起，剛才沒介紹，那是我老伴，她不會照相，免了吧，還是談問題。”不免暗暗地反感了，是查戶口還是什么，看他一邊問，一邊還記錄。

Feeling terribly sorry for his wife, Mr. Huang protested: “I’m sorry I forgot to introduce her toyou. ‘The old woman is my wife. She knows nothing about the camera, so forget about thephoto. Let’s go on with your questions.” Mr. Huang was kind of irritated to find that the visitor,while asking questions, kept jotting down notes like a security policeman checking householdregistrations.

“在家做什么，寫自傳嗎?”

“What do you do at home? Writing an autobiography?”

“哪有這種資格，坐家唄，好久拿不起筆了，沒作什么!”

“Not qualified to do that. Just sitting idle at home. I haven’t touched the pen for ages, as amatter of fact.”

“那我們談?wù)勎乃噯栴}!”

“Shall we talk about literature and arts?”

“請說具體些可以嗎?”

”Could you make it more specific, please?”

“比方說，現(xiàn)在大家正討論P(yáng)詩人的朦朧詩，您老是個什么看法。”

“For example, these days people are discussing Poet P’s mystic poetry. What do you think ofit?”

“對不起，沒讀過，也讀不懂，落后了;報刊少看，討論也沒關(guān)心過。”

“I’m sorry I haven’t read any of his poetry and I don’t think I can understand it. I have yet tocatch up. I seldom read newspapers and magazines and never concern myself with thediscussion of his poetry.”

“那談?wù)勎膶W(xué)的通俗問題，這次我來京就參加這問題的討論會，請黃老談?wù)劇?rdquo;

“Would you like to talk about literature going pop, then? This is the theme of the symposiumthis time. Could you air some views on that?”

“通俗嘛，好啊，人人看得懂，這就是我的意見。”老黃兩眼皮又迷糊起來了。

“Literature going pop? Very Well. Make it understandable to all. This is my view, if you like?”Mr. Huang began to feel drowsy again.

“那談?wù)剬δ壳拔乃囆蝿莸母邢耄脝?”

“Could you please tell me how you feel about the general trend of literature and arts at themoment?”

“也沒多少感想。至于目前，我‘感到’有些困，‘想’睡覺了!”

“I don’t ‘feel’ much about that but, ‘ at the moment’, I ‘feel’ sleepy. I ‘feel’ like going to bed.”

這一下，可大掃了遠(yuǎn)客的興頭，“啊吆，對不起，打攪了，下次再拜訪!”站起來了。

This was terribly disappointing to the visitor. “Well, well, I must apologize for havingdisturbed you. I’ll visit you again next time I am in Beijing.” With this he stood up.

“是我對不起您啦，遠(yuǎn)道而來，無可奉告，恕不遠(yuǎn)送了!歡迎下次再光臨。”

“I must apologize to you, sir. You’ve come from afar but I haven’t got much to offer. Pardonme for not seeing you off. You are welcome to drop in next time.”