單身才懂的15件小事！你中了幾條？

《單身才懂的15件小事》

1. It's like boys are the Oscar, and I’m Leonardo Dicaprio.

對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)

男孩們就像奧斯卡獎(jiǎng)

而我就是小李子

不!現(xiàn)在小李都有小金人了!!!

而我......

2. Please be as weird as me.

Please be as weird as me.

Please be as weird as me.

-Me every time I meet someone

拜托他是個(gè)像我一樣的怪咖

拜托他是個(gè)像我一樣的怪咖

拜托他是個(gè)像我一樣的怪咖

——每次我遇到喜歡的家伙都會(huì)這樣默念

3. I’m worried that I may have already met the man of my dreams.

But probably told him to fuck off.

我擔(dān)心

我的白馬王子其實(shí)早就出現(xiàn)過(guò)

但是我已經(jīng)讓他滾了......

4. Guys I find attractive:

- Famous.

- Taken.

- Twice my age.

- Don’t know I exist.

- Not real.

我喜歡的類(lèi)型：

—名人

—有對(duì)象了

—比我大一輪

—根本不知道我的存在

—不是現(xiàn)實(shí)中的人物

(好吧，說(shuō)的就是你手機(jī)鎖屏上的男神)

5. What if I got a boyfriend?

I wouldn’t know what to do...

What do they eat?

How often do they have to be walked?

如果有了男票要怎么辦?

我完全不懂啊...

需要喂食嗎?

需要多久遛一次呢?

6. Just because I don’t have a boyfriend.

It doesn’t mean I’m alone.

I have food and the Internet.

沒(méi)有男票不代表我孤單

我有食物有網(wǎng)絡(luò)

還孤單個(gè)屁啊

7. Who am I shaving for?

剃毛......剃毛線啊!

我剃了給誰(shuí)看?

8. I’m single by choice.

Not my choice, but still a choice.

單身是一種選擇。

只不過(guò)不是我選的。

9. Everything I like is either expensive, fattening or won’t text me.

我喜歡的，

要么買(mǎi)不起，

要么很催肥，

要么……根本不會(huì)甩我……

10. Relationship status: Eating.

我的感情狀態(tài)永遠(yuǎn)是：吃吃吃

11. Dear future husband,

I hope you’re a good cook.

致我親愛(ài)的未來(lái)老公：

你可一定要會(huì)做飯哦!

12. Everyone’s getting a boyfriend and you know what I’m getting?

Fatter.

別人有男票

我有肉肉

13. My boyfriend is like square root of −1.

Imaginary

我的男票就像負(fù)1的平方根

請(qǐng)自行想象

14. I really really really love my boyfriend cat.

我真的很愛(ài)很愛(ài)我的男票

哦不，我的喵

15. How to get a boyfriend:

① I have absolutely no idea.

② Cry.

論獲取男票的正確姿勢(shì)：

① 我壓根不知道

② 開(kāi)始哭
 

單身的菇?jīng)鰝儯?/p>

很多人會(huì)來(lái)問(wèn)你：

一把年紀(jì)怎么還沒(méi)有男朋友?

那么請(qǐng)你拿出這篇文章告訴他：

這是世界性的課題，看，外網(wǎng)都刷爆了

我單身主要是為了

和國(guó)際接軌.....