雙語《小約翰》 十三

XIII
十三

The clear warm sunshine of an early spring morning shone down on the great city．Its bright rays fell into the room where Johannes lived，and on the low ceiling danced and flickered a large patch of light reflected from the rippling water in the canal．
最初的春晨的清朗溫暖的日光，彌漫了大都市。明凈的光進到約翰住著的小屋子中，低的頂篷上有一條大的光條，是波動著的運河的水的映象，顫抖而且閃動。

Johannes sat by the window in the sunshine，looking out over the town．Its aspect was completely changed．The grey fog was now a sheeny blue sun-mist，veiling the end of the long streets and the distant towers．The slopes of the slate roofs shone like silver．All the houses showed clear outlines and bright surfaces in the sunshine；the pale blue atmosphere was full of glittering warmth．The water seemed alive．The brown buds of the elm-trees were swollen and shiny，and loudly-chirping sparrows fluttered among the branches．
約翰坐在日照下的窗前，向大都市眺望，現(xiàn)在是全然另一景象了?；疑撵F，換成燦爛的藍色的陽光，籠罩了長街的盡頭和遠處的塔。石片屋頂?shù)墓饩€閃作銀白顏色，一切房屋以清朗的線和明亮的面穿過日光中——這是淺藍天中的一個溫暖的渲染。水也仿佛有了生氣了。榆樹的褐色的嫩芽肥而有光，喧嚷的麻雀們在樹枝間鼓翼。

A strange feeling came over Johannes as he sat looking out on it all．The sunshine filled him with sweet vague emotion，a mixture of oblivion and ecstasy．He gazed dreamily at the dancing ripples，the bursting leaf-buds；he listened to the chirping of the birds．There was gladness in their tune．
當他在眺望時，約翰的心情就很奇特。日光將他置身于甜的昏迷中了。其中是忘卻和難傳的歡樂。他在夢里凝視著波浪的光閃，飽滿的榆芽，還傾聽著麻雀的啾唧。在這音響里是大歡娛。

He had not for a long time felt so soft at heart，nor for many a day been so happy．
他久沒有這樣地柔和了，他久沒有覺得這樣地幸福了。

This was the sunshine of old；he knew it well．This was the sun which of yore called him forth—out into the garden where，under the shelter of a low wall，he would stretch himself on the warm ground， where he might for hours enjoy the light and heat，gazing before him at the grasses and sods basking in the glow．
這是他重行認識的往日的日照。這是往日叫他去到自由的太陽，到園子里，他于是在暖地上的一道舊墻蔭中——許多工夫，可以享用那溫暖和光輝，一面凝視著面前的負暄的草梗。

He was glad in that light；it gave him a safe home-like feeling， such as he remembered long ago when his mother held him in her arms．He thought of all he had gone through，but without either grieving or longing．He sat still and mused，wishing nothing more than that the sun might continue to shine．
在沉靜中，于他是好極了，沉靜給他以明確的家鄉(xiāng)之感——有如他所記得，多年以前在他母親的腕中。他并不飲泣或神馳，而必須思想一切的過去。他沉靜地坐著，夢著，除了太陽的照臨之外，他什么也不希望了。

“What are you about，mooning there？”cried Pluizer．“You know I do not approve of dreaming．”
“你怎么這樣沉思地坐著呢，約翰？”穿鑿叫喊，“你知道，我是不容許做夢的?！?/span>

Johannes looked up with absent，imploring eyes．
約翰懇求地抬起了出神的眼睛。

“Leave me alone for a little longer，”said he；“the sun is so good！”
“再給我這樣地停一會罷，”他祈求說，“太陽是這樣好?！?/span>

“What can you find in the sun？”said Pluizer．“It is nothing， after all，but a big candle—sunlight or candlelight，it is all the same in the end．Look at the patches of light and shadow in the street—they are nothing more than the effect of a light which burns steadily and does not nicker．And that light is really quite a small flame shining on a quite small speck of the universe．Out there，beyond the blue，above and beneath，it is dark，—cold and dark！It is night there， now and always．”
“你在太陽里會尋出什么來呢，喂？”穿鑿說，“它并非什么，不過是一枝大蠟燭，你坐在燭光下或是在日光下，完全一樣的?？戳T！街上的那陰影和亮處——也即等于一個安靜地燃燒著而不閃動的燈火的照映。而那光，也不過是照著世界上的極渺小的一點的一個極渺小的小火焰罷了。那邊！那邊！在那蔚藍旁邊，在我們上面和底下，是暗，冷而且暗！那邊是夜，現(xiàn)在以及永久！”

But his words had no effect on Johannes．The calm warm sunbeams had penetrated him，bathed his whole soul—he was full of light and peace．
但他的話于約翰沒有效。沉靜的溫暖的日光貫徹了他，并且充滿了他的全靈魂了——在他是平和而且明晰。

Pluizer carried him off to Doctor Cypher's cold house．For some time yet the sunny images floated before his brain；then they slowly faded away，and by the middle of the day all was dark again within him．
穿鑿帶著他到號碼博士的冰冷的住所去。日象還在他的精神上飄泛了一些時，于是逐漸黯淡了，當正午時分，在他是十足的幽暗。

But when evening came he made his way through the town once more，the air was soft and full of the vapourous odours of the past．Only the fragrance was ten times stronger，and oppressed him in the narrow streets．But as he crossed the open square he smelt the grass and leaves from the country beyond．And overhead he saw the spring in the tranquil little clouds and the tender rose of the western sky．
但到晚間，他又在都市的街道上趲行的時候，空氣悶熱，且被潮濕的春氣充塞了。一切的發(fā)香都強烈了十倍，而在這狹窄的街中，使他窘迫。惟在空曠處，他齅出草和樹林的新芽。在都市上，他看見春，在西方天際嫩紅中的平靜的小云里。

The twilight shed a soft grey mist，full of delicate tints，over the town．The streets were quiet，only a grinding organ in the distance played a love-sick tune；the houses stood out black against the crimson heavens，their fantastic pinnacles and chimneys stretching up like numberless arms．
黃昏在都市上展開了嫩色的柔軟的銀灰的面紗。街上是寂靜了，只在遠處有一個手拉風琴弄出悲哀的節(jié)奏——房屋向著紅色的暮天，都揚起一律的黑影，還如無數(shù)的臂膊一般，在高處伸出它們的尖端和煙突來。

To Johannes it was as though the sun were giving him a kind smile as he shed his last beams over the great city—kind，like the smile which seals a pardon．And the warmth stroked Johannes's cheek with a caress．
這在約翰，有如太陽末后照在大都市上時的和藹的微笑——和藹地如同寬恕了一件傻事的微笑似的。那微微的溫暖，還來撫摩約翰的雙頰。

Deep tenderness came over his soul，so great that he could walk no farther，but lifted up his face to the wide heavens with a deep sigh．The Spring was calling to him and he heard it．He longed to answer—to go．His heart was full of repentance and love and forgiveness．
于是悲哀潛入了約翰的心，有這樣沉重，至使他不能再走，且必須將他的臉伸向遠天中深深地呼吸了。春天在叫他，他也聽到。他要回答，他要去。這一切在他是后悔，愛，寬恕。

He gazed up with longing tears flowing from his sad eyes．
他極其神往地向上凝視。從他模胡的眼里涌出淚來。

“Come，Johannes！do not behave so strangely；people are staring at you！”cried Pluizer．
“去罷！約翰！你不要發(fā)呆罷，人們看著你哩。”穿鑿說。

The long monotonous rows of houses stretched away on each side，gloomy and repulsive—an offence in the soft atmosphere，a discord in the voices of the Spring．
蒙朧而昏暗地向兩旁展開著長的單調的房屋的排列。是溫和的空氣中的一個苦惱，是春聲里面的一聲哀呼。

The folk were sitting at their doors and on the steps，to enjoy the warmth．To Johannes this was a mockery．The squalid doors stood open and the stuffy rooms within awaited their inhabitants．The organ was still grinding out its melancholy tune in the distance．“Oh，if I could but fly away—far away！To the sand-hills and the sea！”
人們坐在門內和階沿上，以消受這春天。這于約翰像是一種嘲侮。污穢的門暢開著，渾濁的空間等候著那些人。在遠處還響著手拉風琴的悲哀的音調?！昂?，我能夠飛開這里，遠去，岡上，海上！”

But he must needs go home to the little garret room；and that night he could not sleep．
然而他仍須伴著高的小屋子，而且他醒著躺了這一夜。

He could not help thinking of his father，and of the long walks he had been used to take with him，when he trotted ten yards behind， or his father traced letters for him in the sand．He thought of the spots where the violets grew under the brushwood，and of the days when he and his father had hunted for them．All the night he saw his father's face just as he had seen him in the evenings when he sat by his side in the silence and lamplight，watching him and listening to the scratching of his pen．
他總要想念他父親，以及和他同行的遠道的散步——如果他走在他的十步之后，那父親就給他在沙土上寫字母。他總要想念那地丁花生在灌木之間的處所，以及和父親同去搜訪的那一天。他整夜看見他的父親的臉一如先前，他在夜間安靜的燈光中顧盼他，還傾聽他筆鋒寫字的聲響。

Every morning now he asked Pluizer when he might once more go home to his father，and see the garden and the sand-hills again．And he perceived now that he had loved his father more than Presto，or his little room，for it was of him that he asked—
于是他每晨祈求穿鑿，還給他回鄉(xiāng)一回，往他的家和他的父親，再看一遍沙岡和園子?，F(xiàn)在他覺出他先前的愛父親，過于普烈斯多和他的小屋子了，因為他現(xiàn)在只為他而祈求。

“Tell me how he is，and if he is not angry with me for staying away so long．”
“那就只告訴我，他怎樣了，我出外這么久，他還在惱我么？”

Pluizer shrugged his shoulders．“Even if I could tell you，what good would it do you？”
穿鑿聳一聳肩：“即使你知道了，于你有什么益呢？”

But the spring still called him，louder and louder．Night after night he dreamed of the dark green moss and the downs，and the sunbeams falling through the fine，fresh verdure．
春天卻過去了，呼喚他，越呼越響。他每夜夢見岡坡上的暗綠的苔蘚，透了嫩的新葉而下的陽光。

“I can bear it no longer，”thought Johannes．“I cannot stay．”
“這是不能長久如此的，”約翰想，“我就要支持不住了。”

And as he could not sleep he softly got out of bed，went to the window，and looked out on the night．He saw the drowsy，fleecy clouds slowly sailing beneath the full moon，peacefully floating in a sea of pale light．He thought of the downs far away，sleeping through the warm night；how beautiful it must be in the low woods where none of the baby leaves would be stirring，and where the air was smelling of damp moss and young birch sprouts！He fancied he could hear the rising chorus of frogs，sounding mysteriously from afar over the meadows，and the pipe of the only bird which accompanies the solemn stillness—which begins its song with such soft lament and breaks off so suddenly that the silence seems more still than before．And it called to him—everything called to him．He bowed his head on the window-sill and sobbed in his sleeve．
每當他不能入睡的時候，他往往輕輕地起來，走到窗前，向著暗夜凝視。他看見蒸騰的蒙茸的小云，怎么慢慢地溜過月輪旁邊，平和地飄浮在柔和的光海里。他便想，在那遠方，岡阜是怎樣地微睡在悶熱的深夜中！在深的小樹林間，絕無新葉作響，潮濕的莓苔和鮮嫩的樺條也將發(fā)香，那該是怎樣地神奇呵。他仿佛聽得遠處有蝦蟆的抑揚的合唱，滿是秘密地浮過田野來，還有唯一的鳥的歌曲，是足以伴那嚴肅的寂靜的，它將歌曲唱得如此低聲地哀怨地開頭，而且陡然中斷，以致那寂靜顯得更其寂靜了。鳥在呼喚他，一切都在呼喚他。他將頭靠著窗沿，并且在他的臂膊上嗚咽起來了。

“I cannot，I cannot bear it！I shall die soon，if I do not get away！”
“我不能！——我受不住。倘我不能就去，我一定會就死了?！?/span>

When Pluizer came to call him next day he was still sitting by the window，where he had fallen asleep with his head on his arm．
第二天穿鑿叫他醒來的時候，他還坐在窗前，他就在那里睡著了，頭靠在臂膊上。

The days went by，longer and warmer，and still there was no change．But Johannes did not die，and had to bear his troubles．
日子過去了，又長又熱，而且無變化。然而約翰沒有死，他還應該擔著他的苦痛。

One morning Doctor Cypher said to him—
有一日的早晨，號碼博士對他說：

“Come with me，Johannes；I have to visit a sick man．”
“我要去看一個病人，約翰，你愿意同我去么？”

Doctor Cypher was well known as a learned man，and many appealed to him for help against disease and death．Johannes had already gone with him on such errands now and then．
號碼博士有博學的名聲，而且對于病和死，有許多人來邀請他的幫助。約翰是屢次伴過他的。

Pluizer was unusually cheerful that morning．He would at times stand on his head，dance and leap，and play all sorts of impudent tricks．He wore a constant mysterious grin，as though he had a surprise in store for some one．Johannes dreaded him most in this mood．
穿鑿在這早晨異常地高興。他總是倒立、跳舞、翻筋斗，并且玩出各種瘋狂似的說笑來。他不住地非常秘密地竊笑著，像一個準備著給人一嚇的人。

Doctor Cypher was as grave as ever．
但號碼博士卻只是平常一樣嚴正。

They went a long way that morning，in a train，and on foot．They went farther than Johannes had ever been before outside the town．
這一日他們走了遠的路。用鐵路，也用步行。約翰是還沒有一同到過外邊的。

It was a fine hot day．Johannes，looking out from the train，saw the broad green fields fly past，with tall feathery grasses and grazing kine．He saw white butterflies flitting over the flowery land where the air quivered with the heat of the sun．
這是一個溫暖的、快樂的日子。約翰從車中向外望，那廣大的碧綠的牧場，帶著它欲飛的草和吃食的家畜，都在他身邊奔過去了。他看見白胡蝶在種滿花卉的地上翩躚，空氣為了日熱發(fā)著抖。

But suddenly he saw a gleam in the distance．—There lay the long undulating stretch of sand-hills．
但他忽而悚然了：那地方展布著長的、起伏的連岡。

“Now，Johannes，”said Pluizer with a grin，“now you have your wish，you see．”
“唉，約翰，”穿鑿竊笑著，“那就要中你的意了，你看罷！”

Johannes，half incredulous，sat gazing at the sand-hills．They came nearer and nearer．The long ditches on each side of the railway seemed to whirl round a distant centre，and the little houses flew swiftly past and away down the road．
半信半疑地，約翰注視著沙岡。沙岡越來越近，仿佛是兩旁的長溝，正在繞著它們的軸子旋轉，還有幾所人家，都在它們旁邊撲過去了。

Then came some trees：thickly green horse-chestnut trees， covered with thousands of spikes of pink and white blossoms—dark， blue-green pines—tall，spreading lime-trees．
于是來了樹木，茂密的栗樹，盛開著，帶著千數(shù)大的或紅或白的花房，暗藍綠色的樅樹，高大而堂皇的菩提樹。

It was true，then，—he was going to see his sand-hills once more．The train stopped；they all three jumped out，under verdurous shade．
這就是真實——他須再見他的沙岡。列車停止了，三人于是在成蔭的枝柯下面行走。

Here was the deep，green moss，here were the flecks of sunshine on the ground under the forest-trees—this was the fragrance of birch-buds and pine-needles．
這是深綠的莓苔，這是日光在林地上的圓點，這是樺條和松針的幽香。

“Is it real—is it true？”thought Johannes．“Can such happiness befall me？”
“這是真實么？這是實際么？”約翰想，“幸福要來了罷？”

His eyes sparkled and his heart beat high．He began to believe in his happiness．He knew these trees and this soil．He had often trodden this forest-path．
他的眼睛發(fā)光了，他的心大聲地跳著。他快要相信他的幸福了。這些樹木，這地面，他很熟識——他曾經屢次在這樹林道中往來。

They were alone here．But Johannes could not help looking round，as though some one were following him．And he fancied that between the oak boughs he caught sight of a dark figure hiding itself， as they threaded the last turns of the path．
只有他們在道路上，此外沒有人。然而約翰要回顧，仿佛有誰跟著他們似的。他又似乎從槲樹枝間望見一個黑暗的人影，每當那路的最末的轉角，便看不分明了。

Pluizer looked at him with mysterious cunning．Doctor Cypher hurried forward，with long strides，keeping his eyes on the ground．
穿鑿陰險地曖昧地注視他。號碼博士大踏步走，看著目前的地面。

At each step the way was more familiar—he knew every stone and every shrub—and suddenly Johannes started violently：he stood before his old home．
道路于他更熟識，更相信了，他認得每一叢草、每一塊石。約翰忽然劇烈地吃了驚，因為他站在他自己的住所前面了。

The horse-chestnut in front of the house spread the shade of its large，fingered leaves．Above him the beautiful white flowers，and thick，round mass of foliage towered high overhead．
屋前的栗樹，展開著它那大的手一般的葉子。直到上面的最高枝梢上，在繁密的圓圓的叢葉里，煊赫著華美的白色的繁花。

He heard the sound of an opening door which he knew well—and he smelt the peculiar smell of his own home．He recognised the passage，the doors，everything，bit by bit—with a keen pang of lost familiarity．It was all a part of his life—of his lonely dreamy childhood．He had held council with all these things，had lived with them his own life of thoughts—to which he had admitted no human being．But now he felt himself dead，as it were，and cut off from the old house，with its rooms and passages and doorways．The severance，he knew，was irremediable，and he felt as melancholy and woeful as though he had come to visit a graveyard．If only Presto had sprung out to meet him，it would have been less dreary．But Presto，no doubt，was gone or dead．
他聽到開門的熟識的聲響，他又齅到他自己的住所的氣味。于是他認出了各進路、各門戶，每一點，都帶著一種離鄉(xiāng)的苦痛的感覺。凡有一切，都是他的生活的、他的寂寞而可念的兒童生活的一部分。對于這些一切物事，他曾經和它們談天，和它們在自己的理想生活中過活，這里是他決不放進一個他人的。然而現(xiàn)在他卻覺得從這全部老屋分離，推出了，連著它們的各房間、各進路和各屋角。他覺得這分離極難挽回，他的心緒正如他在探訪一個墳莊，這樣地凄涼和哀痛。只要有普烈斯多迎面跳來，那也許就減少一點非家的況味，然而普烈斯多卻一定已經跑掉，或者死掉了。

But where was his father？
然而父親在那里呢？

He looked back through the open door out into the sunny garden，and saw the man who，as he had fancied，was following them on the way，coming towards the house．He came nearer and nearer，and seemed to grow in stature as he approached．When he reached the door a vast cold shadow filled the entrance．Then Johannes knew him．
他回顧開著的門和外面的日光下的園子，他看見那人，那似乎在路上追隨著他們的，現(xiàn)在已經走向房屋來了。他越來越近，那走近仿佛只見加增。他一近門，門口便充滿了一個大的、寒冷的影子。于是約翰就認出了這人。

There was perfect silence indoors，and they went up-stairs without speaking．There was one step which always creaked under foot as Johannes knew；and now he heard it creak three times with a sound like a groan of pain．But under the fourth footstep it was like a deep sob．
屋里是死靜，他們沉默著走上樓梯去。有一級是一踏常要作響的——這約翰知道?，F(xiàn)在他也聽到，怎樣地發(fā)了三回響——這發(fā)響像是苦痛的呻吟。但到第四回的足踏，卻如隱約的呃逆了。

Above stairs，Johannes heard moaning，as low and as regular as the slow ticking of a clock．It was a heart-rending and doleful sound．
而且約翰在上面還聽到一種喘息，低微而一律，有如緩慢的時鐘的走動，是一種苦痛而可怕的聲音。

The door of his own little room stood open；he timidly glanced in．The strange flowers on the curtains stared at him with unmeaning surprise．The clock had stopped．
他的小屋子的門暢開著。約翰趕緊投以膽怯的一瞥。那地毯上的奇異的花紋是詫異而無情地凝視他，時鐘站得靜靜地。

They went on to the room whence the groaning came．It was his father's bedroom．The sun shone in brightly，on the green bed-curtains which were drawn close．Simon，the cat，sat on the window-sill，in the sun．There was an oppressive smell of wine and camphor；the low moaning now sounded close at hand．
他們走進那發(fā)出聲音來的房里去。這是父親的臥室。太陽高興地照著放下的綠色的床幃。西蒙，那貓，坐在窗臺上的日照里。全房充滿著葡萄酒和樟腦的郁悶的氣味。一種低微的抽噎，現(xiàn)在就從近處傳來了。

Johannes heard whispering voices and carefully softened footsteps．Then the green curtains were opened．
約翰聽到柔軟的聲音的細語和小心的腳步的微聲。于是綠幃便被掣起了。

He saw his father's face，which had so often risen before him during the last few weeks．But it was quite different．The kind，grave expression had given way to a rigid look of suffering，and his face was ashy pale，with brown shadows．The teeth showed through the parted lips，and the white of the eyes under the half-closed lids．His head lay sunk in pillows，and was lifted a little with every moaning breath，falling back wearily after each effort．
他看見了父親的臉，這是他近來常在目前看見的。然而完全兩樣了。親愛的嚴正的外貌已經杳然，但在可怕地僵視。蒼白了，還帶著灰色的陰影。看見眼白在半閉的眼瞼下，牙齒在半開的口中。頭是陷枕中間，每一呻吟便隨著一抬起，于是又疲乏地落在旁邊了。

Johannes stood by the bed without stirring，staring with wide fixed eyes at the well-known features．He did not know what he thought；he dared not move a finger，he dared not take the wan old hands，which lay limp on the white linen sheet．
約翰屹立在床面前，大張了僵直的眼睛，瞠視著熟識的臉。他想什么，他不知道——他不敢用手指去一觸，他不敢去握那疲乏地放在白麻布上的、衰老的干枯的雙手。

All about him was black，the sun and the bright room，the greenery outside and the blue air he had come in from—all the past was black—black，heavy and impenetrable．And that night he could see nothing but that pale face．He could think of nothing but the poor head which seemed so weary，and yet was lifted again and again with a groan of anguish．
環(huán)繞他的一切都黑了，那太陽，那明朗的房子，那外面的叢綠，以及歷來如此蔚藍的天空——一切，凡有在他后面的，黑了，黑，昏昧地，而且不可透徹地。在這一夜，他也別無所見，只在前面看見蒼白的頭。他還應該接著只想這可憐的頭，這顯得如此疲乏，而一定永是從新和苦痛的聲息一同抬起的。

But there was a change in this regular movement．The moaning ceased，the eyes slowly opened and stared about inquiringly，while the lips tried to say something．
定規(guī)的動作在一轉瞬間變化了。呻吟停歇，眼瞼慢慢地張開，眼睛探索似地向各處凝視，嘴唇也想表出一點什么來。

“Good-morning，father，”whispered Johannes，looking into the seeking eyes and trembling with terror．The dim gaze rested on him， and a faint，faint smile moved the hollow cheeks；the thin clenched hand was lifted from the sheet and made a feeble movement towards Johannes，but it dropped again，powerless．
“好天，父親！”約翰低聲說，并且恐怖地發(fā)著抖，看著那探索的眼睛。那困倦的眼光于是看了他一剎時，一種疲乏的微笑，便出現(xiàn)在陷下的雙頰上。細瘦的皺縮的手從麻布上舉起，還向約翰作了一種不分明的動作，就又無力地落下了。

“Come，come，”said Pluizer．“No scenes here．”
“唉，什么！”穿鑿說，“只莫是愁嘆場面！”

“Get out of the way，Johannes，”said Doctor Cypher．“We must see what can be done．”
“給我閃開，約翰，”號碼博士說，“我們應該看一看，我們得怎么辦?！?/span>

The Doctor began his examination，and Johannes went away from the bed-side and stood by the window，looking out at the sunlit grass and broad chestnut leaves on which large flies were sitting which shone blue in the sun．The groaning began again with the same regularity．
博士開手檢查了，約翰卻離開臥床，站在窗口。他凝視那日照的草和清朗的天空，以及寬闊的栗樹葉，葉上坐著肥大的藍蠅，在日光中瑩瑩地發(fā)閃。那呻吟又以那樣的定規(guī)發(fā)作了。

A blackbird was hopping among the tali grass，large red and black butterflies fluttered over the flower-beds，and from the topmost boughs of the highest trees a soft，tender cooing of wood-pigeons， fell on Johannes's ear．
一匹黑色的白頭鳥在園里的高草間跳躍——大的、紅黑的胡蝶在花壇上盤旋，從高樹的枝柯中，沖出了野鴿的柔媚的鉤辀，來到約翰的耳朵里。

In the room the moaning went on—without ceasing．He could not help listening—and it came as regularly，as inevitably as the falling drip which may drive a man mad．He watched anxiously at every interval and it always came again—as awful as the approaching footsteps of Death．
里面還是那呻吟，永是如此，永是如此。他必須聽——而且這來得一律，沒有變換，就如下墜的水滴，會使人發(fā)狂。他緊張著等候那每一間歇，而這永是又發(fā)作了——可怕如死的臨近的腳步。

And outside，warm and rapturous delight in the sunshine reigned．Everything was basking and happy．The blades of grass thrilled and the leaves whispered for sheer gladness．High above the trees in the deep，distant blue，a heron was soaring on lazy wing．
而外面是溫暖的，適意的日和。一切在負暄，在享受。因了甘美的歡樂，草顫抖著，樹葉簌簌著，高在樹梢上，深在蠢動的蔚藍中，飄浮著一只平靜地鼓翼的蒼鷺。

Johannes did not understand—it was all a mystery to him．Everything was confused and dark in his soul—“How can all this exist in me at the same time？”thought he．
約翰不懂這些，這一切于他都是疑團。他的靈魂是這樣地錯亂和幽暗?！霸趺催@一切竟同時到我這里呢？”他自己問。

“Am I really myself？ Is that my father—my own father？ Mine—Johannes's？”
“我真是他么？這是我的父親，我本身的父親么？——我的，我約翰的？”

And it was as though a stranger spoke．It was all a tale which he had heard．He had heard some one tell of Johannes，and of the house where he dwelt with his father from whom he had run away，and who was now dying．This was not himself—he had only heard of it all；and indeed it was a sad story，—very sad．But it had nothing to do with him．
在他，似乎是他在說起一個別的人。一切是他所聽到的故事。他聽得有一個人講，講約翰，講他所住的房屋，講他舍去而垂死的他的父親。他自己并非那他，他是聽到了談講。這確是一般悲慘的故事，很悲慘。但他和這是不相干的。

And yet—and yet．—It was he himself，Johannes．
是的！——是的！偏是！他自己就是那他，他！約翰！

“I cannot understand the case，”said Doctor Cypher，pulling himself up．“It is a very mysterious attack．”
“我不懂得這事情，”號碼博士站起身來的時候說，“這是一個疑難的癥候?！?/span>

Pluizer came up to Johannes．
穿鑿站在約翰的近旁。

“Come and look，Johannes；it is a very interesting case．The Doctor knows nothing about it．”
“你不要來看一看么，約翰？這是一件有趣味的事情。博士不懂它?！?/span>

“Leave me alone，”said Johannes，without turning round．“I cannot think．”
“放下我，”約翰說，也不回頭，“我不能想。”

But Pluizer went close behind him and whispered sharply in his ear，as was his wont—
但穿鑿卻立在約翰的后面，對他絮語，照例尖利地傳入他的耳朵來。

“You cannot think？ Did you fancy that you could not think？ That is a mistake．You must think．Staring out like this at the green grass and the blue sky will do no good．Windekind will not come to you．And the sick man is sinking fast；that you must have seen as clearly as we did．But what is his disorder，do you think？”
“不想？——你相信，你不能想么？那是你錯了。你應該想。你即使看著叢綠和藍色的天，那是于你無益的。旋兒總是不來的。而且在那邊的生病的人，無論如何就要死的。這你看得很明白，同我們一樣。他的苦惱是怎樣呢，你可想想么？”

“I do not know！—I do not want to know！”
“我不知道那些，我不要知道那些?！?/span>

Johannes said no more，but listened to the moaning；it sounded like a gentle complaint and reproach．Doctor Cypher was taking notes in a book．At the head of the bed sat the dark figure which had followed them in；his head was bowed，his lean hand extended towards the sick man，and his hollow eyes steadfastly gazing at the clock．
約翰沉默了，并且傾聽著呻吟，這響得如低微的苛責的哀訴。號碼博士在一本小書上寫了一點略記。床頭坐著那曾經追隨他們的黑暗的形象——低著頭，向病人伸開了長臂膊，深陷的眼睛看定了時鐘。

That sharp whisper in his ear began again．
尖利的絮語又在他的耳邊發(fā)作了。

“Why are you so unhappy，Johannes？ You have got what you wished for．There lie the sand-hills，there is the sunshine through the verdure，there are the dancing butterflies，the singing birds．What more do you want？ Are you waiting for Windekind？ If he exists anywhere，it must be there．Why does he not come to you？ He is frightened，no doubt，by our dark friend by the bed．He always has been afraid of him．”
“你為什么這樣凄涼地注視呢，約翰？你確有你的意志的。那邊橫著沙岡，那邊有日光拂著叢綠，那邊有禽鳥在歌唱和胡蝶在翩躚。你還希望什么呢，等候旋兒么？如果他在一個什么地方，那他就一定在那地方的，而他為什么不來呢？——他可是太怕那在頭邊的幽暗朋友么？但他是永在那里的?！?/span>

“Don't you see，Johannes，that it was all fancy？”
“你可看出，一切事情都是想象么，約翰？”

“And listen to the moaning．It is weaker than it was just now．You can hear that it will soon cease altogether．Well，and what matter？ Many folks must have groaned just so when you were at play here among the wild roses．Why do you now sit here grieving instead of going out to the sand-hills as you used to do？ Look！ Out there everything is as flowery and fragrant as if nothing had happened．Why do you care no more for all the gladness of that life？”
“你可聽清那呻吟么？這比剛才已經微弱一點了，你能聽出它不久就要停止。那么，怎么辦呢？當你在外面岡薔薇之間跑來跑去的時候，也曾有過這么多的呻吟了。你為什么站在這里，悲傷著，而不像你先前一般，到沙岡去呢？看哪！那邊是一切爛熳著，馥郁著，而且歌唱著，像毫無變故似的。你為什么不參與一切興趣和一切生活的呢？”

“First you complained and longed to be here．Now I have brought you where you yearned to be，and yet you are not content．See．I will let you go—go out into the tall grass，lie in the cool shade，let the flies hum about you，and breathe the perfume of growing herbs．You are free！Go．Find Windekind once more．”
“你方才哀訴著，神往著——那么，我就帶領你去，到你要去的地方，我也不再和你游覽了，我讓你自由，通過高草，躺在涼蔭中，并且任飛蠅繞著你營營，并且吸取那嫩草的香味，我讓你自由，就去罷！再尋旋兒去罷！”

“You will not？ Then do you now believe in me alone？ Is all I have told you true？ Am I or is Windekind the false one？”
“你不愿意，那你就還是獨獨相信我。凡我所說給你的，是真實不是？說謊的是旋兒，還是我呢？”

“Listen to the moans！So short and feeble！They will soon be stilled．”
“聽那呻吟！——這么短，這么弱。這快要平靜了?！?/span>

“But do not look so terrified，Johannes，the sooner it is ended， the better．There could be no long walks now，no more seeking for violets together．With whom has he wandered these two years，do you think，while you were away？ You can never ask him now．You can never know．If you had known me a little earlier you would not look so wretched now．You are a long way yet from being what you must become．Do you think that Doctor Cypher in your place would look as you do？ It would sadden him no more than it does the cat blinking there in the sunshine．And it is best so．Of what use is brooding sorrow？ Have the flowers learnt to grieve？ They do not mourn if one of them is plucked．Is not that far happier？ They know nothing，and that is why they are thus content．You have begun to know something；now you must learn everything to become happy．I alone can teach you．All，or nothing．”
“你不要這樣恐怖地四顧罷，約翰。那平靜得越早，就越好。那么，就不再有遠道的游行，你也永不再和他去搜訪地丁花了。因為你走開了，這二年他曾經和誰游行了呢？——是的，你現(xiàn)在已經不能探問他。你將永不會知道了。你就只得和我便滿足。假使你略早些認識我，你現(xiàn)在便不這樣苦惱地注視了。你從來不這樣，像現(xiàn)在似的。從你看來，你以為號碼博士像是假惺惺么？這是會使他憂悶的，正如在日照中打呼盧的那貓一樣。而且這是正當?shù)?。這樣的絕望有什么用呢？這是花卉們教給你的么？如果一朵被折去了，它們也不悲哀。這不是幸福么？它們無所知，所以它們是這樣。你曾經開始，知道一點東西了，那么，為幸福計，你也就應該知道一切。這惟我能夠教授你。一切，或簡直全無。”

“Listen to me．What is there remarkable in your father's case？ It is the death of a man—that is a common occurrence．Now do you hear the gasping？ Weaker still！It must be very near the end！”
“聽我。他是否你的父親，于你有什么相干呢？他是一個垂死的人——這是一件平常事。你還聽到那呻吟么？——很微弱，不是么？——這就要到結局了?！?/span>

Johannes looked at the bed in agonised fear．Simon the cat jumped down from the window-sill，stretched himself，and then，still purring，lay down on the bed by the dying man．
約翰在恐怖的窘迫中，向臥床察看。西蒙，那貓，跳下窗臺，伸一伸四肢，并且打著呼盧在床上垂死者的身邊躺下了。

The poor weak head moved no longer；it lay still，sunk in the pillows，but the short，dull panting still came through the half-open mouth．It grew weaker and weaker till it was scarcely audible．
那可憐的，疲乏的頭已經不再動彈，——擠在枕頭里靜靜地躺著——然而從半開的口中卻還定規(guī)地發(fā)出停得很短的疲乏的聲音。這也低下去了，難于聽到了。

Then Death took his hollow eyes off the clock and looked at the weary head；he raised his hand．Then all was still．A grey shadow fell on the rigid features．Silence，oppressive，unbroken silence！
于是死將黑暗的眼睛從時鐘轉到沉埋的頭上，并且抬起手來。于是寂靜了。僵直的容貌上蒙上了一層青蒼的陰影。寂靜，渺茫的空虛的寂靜！

Johannes sat and sat，waiting．
約翰等待著，等待著。

But the regular sound was heard no more．All was still—a great， murmuring stillness．
然而那定規(guī)的聲息不再回來了。止于寂靜——大的，呼哨的寂靜。

The tension of the last hours of listening was over，and to Johannes it seemed that his soul had been let fall down into black and bottomless space．Deeper and deeper he fell．All about him grew darker and more silent．
在最末的時刻，也停止了傾聽的緊張，這在約翰，仿佛是靈魂得了釋放，而且墜入了一個黑的、無底的空虛。他越墜越深。環(huán)繞他的是寂靜和幽暗。

Then he heard Pluizer's voice as if it were a long way off．
于是響來了穿鑿的聲音，仿佛出自遠方似的。

“There！That tale is told．”
“哦，這故事那也就到結局了?！?/span>

“That is well，”said Doctor Cypher．“Now you can see what was wrong with him．I leave that to you．I must be off．”
“好的，”號碼博士說，“那么，你可以看一看這是什么了。我都交付你。我應該去了?！?/span>

Still，as if half-dreaming，Johannes saw the gleam of bright knives．
還半在夢里，約翰看見晃耀著閃閃的小刀。

The cat set her back up．It was cold by the corpse，and she returned to the sunshine．
那貓做了一個弓腰，在身體旁邊冷起來了，它又尋得了日照。

Johannes saw Pluizer take a knife，which he examined carefully， and then went up to the bed．
約翰看見，穿鑿怎樣地拿起一把小刀，仔細地審視，并且走向床邊來。

Then he shook off his lethargy．Before Pluizer could get to the bed he stood in front of him．
于是約翰便擺脫了昏迷，當穿鑿走到床邊之前，他就站在他前面。

“What do you want？”he asked．His eyes were wide open with horror．
“你要怎么？”他問。因為震悚，他大張著眼睛。

“We must see what he died of，”said Pluizer．
“我們要看看，這是怎么一回事?！贝╄徴f。

“No，”said Johannes，and his voice was as deep as a man's．
“不用?！奔s翰說，而且他的聲音響得深如一個男子的聲音。

“What is the meaning of this？”said Pluizer，with a glare of rage．“Can you hinder me？ Do you not know how strong I am？”
“這是干什么？”穿鑿發(fā)著激烈的閃爍的眼光，問，“你能禁止我這事么？你不知道我有多么強么？”

“I will not have it，”said Johannes．He drew a deep breath and set his teeth，staring firmly at Pluizer，and put out his hand against him．
“我不要這事。”約翰說。他咬了牙關，并且深深地呼吸。他看定穿鑿，還向他伸出手去。

But Pluizer came nearer．Then Johannes gripped him by the wrists and struggled with him．
然而穿鑿走近了。于是約翰抓住他的手腕，而且和他格斗。

Pluizer was strong；he knew that；nothing had ever been able to resist him．But he did not leave go，and his will was steadfast．
穿鑿強，他是知道的，他向來未曾反抗他。但是他不退縮，不氣餒。

The knife gleamed before his eyes；he seemed to see sparks and red flames，but he did not give in，and wrestled on．
小刀在他眼前閃爍，他瞥見紅焰和火花，然而他不弛懈，并且繼續(xù)著格斗。

He knew what would happen if he yielded．He knew—he had seen it before．But that which lay behind him was his father，and he would not see it now．
他知道他倘一失敗，將有何事發(fā)生。他認識那事，他先前曾經目睹過。然而躺在他后面的是什么呢，他的父親，而且他不愿意看見那件事。

And while he panted and struggled，the dead body lay stretched out motionless，just as it was lying when the silence fell；the white of the eyes visible through a narrow opening，the corners of the mouth curled to a ghastly smile．Only as the two knocked against the bed in their wrestling，the head gently moved a little．
當他們喘息著格斗時中，他們后面橫著已死的身體，伸開而且不動，一如躺著一般。在平靜的瞬息間，眼白分明如一條線，嘴角吊起，顯著僵直的露齒的笑容。獨有那兩人在他們的爭斗中撞著臥床的時候，頭便微微地往來搖動。

Still Johannes held his own．His breath came hard and he could not see；a blood-red mist was before his eyes—and still he stood firm．
約翰還是支持著——呼吸不濟，他什么都看不見了。當他眼前張起了一層血似的通紅的面紗。但他還站得住。

Then gradually the resistance of those wrists grew weaker in his grasp，his muscles relaxed，his arms fell limp by his sides and his clenched hands were empty．
于是在他掌握中的那兩腕的抵抗力，慢慢地衰退了。他兩手中的緊張減少，臂膊懶散地落下，而且捏著拳的手里是空虛了。

When he looked up Pluizer had vanished．Death sat alone by the bed and nodded to him．
他抬眼看時，穿鑿消失了。只有死還坐在床上，并且點頭。

“That was well done，Johannes，”said he．
“這是你這邊正當?shù)模s翰?！彼f。

“Will he come back again？”whispered Johannes．Death shook his head．
“他會再來么？”約翰低聲說。死搖搖頭。

“Never．Those who have once defied him，never see him again．”
“永不，誰敢對他，就不再見他了?！?/span>

“And Windekind？ Shall I ever see Windekind again？”
“旋兒呢？那么，我將再見旋兒呢？”

The gloomy man gazed long at Johannes．His look was no longer terrible，but gentle and grave．It seemed to allure Johannes like some great deep．
那幽暗的人看著約翰許多時。他的眼光已不復使人恐怖了——卻是溫和而加以誠懇——他吸引約翰如一個至大的深處。

“I alone can take you to Windekind．Through me alone can you find the Book．”
“獨有我能領你向旋兒去。獨由我能覓得那書兒。”

“Then take me too，there is no one left．Take me with you as you have taken others．I want nothing more．”But again Death shook his head．
“那么你帶著我罷——現(xiàn)今，不再有人在這里了——你也帶著我罷，像別人一樣！我不愿意再下去了……”死又搖搖頭。

“You love men，Johannes．You do not know it，but you have always loved them．You must grow up to be a good man．It is a very fine thing to be a good man．”
“你愛人類，約翰。你自己不知道，然而你永是愛了他們。成一個好人，那是較好的事。”

“I do not want that—take me with you．”
“我不愿意——你帶著我罷……”

“You are mistaken；you do want it；you cannot help it．”
“不然，不然。你愿意——你不能夠別樣的……”

The tall dark figure became dim in Johannes's sight—it melted into a vague shape—a formless grey mist filled its place and floated away on the sunbeams．
于是那長的、黑暗的形體，在約翰眼前如霧了。它散成茫昧的形狀，一道霏微的灰色的煙靄透過內房，并且升到日光里去了。

Johannes bowed his head on the edge of the bed and mourned for the dead man．
約翰將頭俯在床沿上，哭那死掉的人。