異類之不一樣的成功啟示錄 第70期:孩子的交流技巧需要培養(yǎng)

Look at how easily Alex interrupts the doctor, "I'm not ten." That's entitlement:

看看，亞歷克斯這樣輕易就打斷了醫(yī)生的話——“我不是10歲。”這是一種權(quán)利：

his mother permits that casual incivility because she wants him to learn to assert himself with people in positions of authority.

他的母親允許他一時(shí)無(wú)禮，因?yàn)樗Ｍ麅鹤訉W(xué)會(huì)在權(quán)威人士面前表達(dá)自己的立場(chǎng)。

The doctor turns to Alex: Well, now, the most important question.

醫(yī)生轉(zhuǎn)而問(wèn)亞歷克斯：好了，我們現(xiàn)在進(jìn)入最主要的環(huán)節(jié)。

Do you have any questions you want to ask me before I do your physical?

在我檢查你的身體以前，你還有什么問(wèn)題需要問(wèn)嗎?

Alex: Um... only one. I've been getting some bumps on my arms, right under here (indicates his underarms).

亞歷克斯：嗯...有一個(gè)。我的手臂上有一些腫塊，就在這(指著手臂下)。

Doctor: underneath?

醫(yī)生：在下邊?

Alex: Yeah.

亞歷克斯：是的。

Doctor: Okay, I'll have to look at those when I come in close to do the checkup. And I'll see what they are and what I can do.

醫(yī)生：好的，我進(jìn)一步檢查之后再處理一下。我來(lái)看看到底是怎么回事，看應(yīng)該怎樣治。

Do they hurt or itch?

覺(jué)得痛或者覺(jué)得癢嗎?

Alex: No, they're just there.

亞歷克斯：不痛也不癢，只是有這樣的腫塊。

Doctor: Okay, I'll take a look at those bumps for you.

醫(yī)生：沒(méi)事，我會(huì)給你治好的。

This kind of interaction simply doesn't happen with lower class children, Lareau says.

這樣的互動(dòng)似乎不應(yīng)該發(fā)生在低年級(jí)的小孩身上，拉里奧說(shuō)，

They would be quiet and submissive, with eyes turned away.

他們應(yīng)該很安靜很順從，眼睛不敢直視他人。

Alex takes charge of the moment.

但亞歷克斯卻掌控了局面，

"In remembering to raise the question he prepared in advance, he gains the doctor's full attention and focuses it on an issue of his choosing," Lareau writes.

“此前他就想好了要問(wèn)什么，他吸引了醫(yī)生的全部注意力，讓醫(yī)生把焦點(diǎn)都集中在他準(zhǔn)備好的問(wèn)題上。”拉里奧寫道。

In doing so, he successfully shifts the balance of power away from the adults and towards himself.

利用這種方式，他成功地把原來(lái)傾向成年人的權(quán)利逐步向自己身上傾斜。

The transition goes smoothly.

整個(gè)過(guò)程，亞歷克斯都很得體，

Alex is used to being treated with respect.

權(quán)利的轉(zhuǎn)移很平穩(wěn)，

He is seen as special and as a person worthy of adult attention and interest.

仿佛他是一個(gè)特別能引起成年人注意并且得到他們賞識(shí)的人。

These are the key characteristics of the strategy of concerted cultivation.

這是協(xié)同培養(yǎng)體系一種特有的重要體現(xiàn)。

Alex is not showing off during his checkup. He is behaving much as he does with his parents -he reasons, negotiates and jokes with equal ease.

在做身體檢查的時(shí)候，亞歷克斯沒(méi)有過(guò)分顯擺自己，他的行為方式非常類似他的父母——他追問(wèn)、磋商、以放松的心情開著玩笑。

It is important to understand where the particular mastery of that moment comes from.

了解這種掌控局面的特殊能力來(lái)自哪里是很重要的。

It's not genetic.

這不是來(lái)自基因，

Alex Williams didn't inherit the skills to interact with authority figures from his parents and grandparents the way he inherited the color of his eyes.

亞歷克斯·威廉斯的眼睛顏色也許從他父母或者祖父母那里遺傳下來(lái)，但和權(quán)威人士的交流技巧卻不可能從他們那里遺傳而來(lái)。

Nor is it racial: it's not a practice specific to either black or white people.

這也不是因?yàn)榉N族的原因：這不是黑色人種或者白色人種的專利，