商務管理之 協(xié)調沖突　Conflict Management

商務管理之 協(xié)調沖突　Conflict Management

性格和認知的差異導致沖突（conflicts will arise）的產生，在同事和合作伙伴之間也不例外。沖突總體上（as a whole）會對生意和業(yè)務造成直接傷害。適時且文明地（timely and civilized manner）解決沖突，并避免類似問題再發(fā)生是管理者的職責。

沖突定位

在接觸沖突雙方之前，首先問自己幾個試探性問題（probing questions）：關于什么的沖突？根本起因（root cause）是什么？確保在私下場所（in private）解決下屬的沖突，因為在工作場所會影響許多人；此外，矛盾雙方也會感覺更放松。調解沖突不是判明誰勝誰輸（a winner and loser），而是促成諒解，既往不咎。

⊙What seems to be the problem?

什么樣的問題？

⊙Can you meet me in my office to discuss the matter all together?

你們能到我辦公室里來一起討論這個問題嗎？

⊙What is the conflict about?

你們爭什么?

⊙What is the root cause of the conflict?

矛盾的根本起因是什么？

認真傾聽

作為協(xié)調人，應當聽取雙方的訴說（hear all sides of the story）。即便孰是孰非你已經心知肚明，也要仔細傾聽，搞清原委，保持中立（neutral）。

⊙It seems you disagree because……，am I right?

好像你不贊同是出自……的原因，對嗎？

⊙Let me hear it in your own words.What happened?

讓我聽聽你怎么說，怎么回事？

⊙Can you tell me why you acted in that way?

你能否告訴我為什么那么行事？

⊙Is that what you feel happened?Tell me what your perspective is.

你覺得是不是這么回事？告訴我你的觀點。

⊙Be fair！Let's hear him out.

公平些！讓他把話說完。

⊙Let's approach this calmly.Everyone's going to have a chance to have their say.Now, Fred, you go first.Tell me in your own words what your side of the story is.No interrupting, Jim, you'll have your chance in a minute.

讓我們心平氣和地來面對這個問題。每個人都有機會發(fā)表自己的意見。Fred，現(xiàn)在你先說，站在你的角度上告訴我事情的原委。別插話，Jim，你馬上有機會說話。

解冤

首先不要草率做決定（hasty decisions），要爭取的是沖突雙方互贏（win-win solution），而不是一方依舊懷恨在心。明確雙方的觀點，透過雙方的情緒和訴說，深度挖掘（dig through）背后的沖突實質，尋找可能的選擇和達成諒解的基礎。有時候將雙方都傾向的選擇匯集起來效果更好。關注當下，將過去沒有聯(lián)系的沖突剔除出去。

A：We lost three major clients because Bozo here made so many mistakes in data keeping. Then I got blamed for loosing clients, but it wasn't my fault.

B：So what I'm hearing here is that you feel like it you were unfairly blamed for someone else's mistakes, is that right?And you believe the loss of clients is because of mistakes that Jeff made in data keeping, right?

A：我們損失了三個大客戶，就是因為這個笨蛋在保存數(shù)據(jù)時犯了許多錯。而我卻因為損失客戶被指責。這不是我的錯！

B：我聽到的是，你覺得因為別人的過錯而受到了不公正的指責，對嗎？你認為造成客戶損失是因為Jeff保存數(shù)據(jù)時的錯誤，對嗎？

A：I don't agree with the way that Marcie handled that project. She was negligent, unprofessional, lazy, and just plain obnoxious. I refuse to work with her anymore！

B：Let's calm down here. We want to work on resolving the issue.I can see that something happened while you were working together on the project that made you very upset. I sense you and Marcie have had some personalityconflicts.Perhaps there were some things in the way she handled her responsibilities that you would have done differently.Am I right?

A：我不認同Marcie操作項目的方式。她粗心、不專業(yè)、懶惰，簡直讓人討厭。

我拒絕再和她一起工作。

B：讓我們冷靜下來。我們要一起解決問題。我了解你們在項目協(xié)作上遇到了問題，讓你很不開心。我感覺你和Marcie之間有私人恩怨。或許你不贊同她處理業(yè)務的方式。我說得對嗎？

解決方案

邀請沖突雙方與你一道找出解決之道（arrive at a resolution）。一旦雙方對諒解提議表示認可，就立即制訂行動計劃（action plan），調動各方力量實施計劃。

⊙Do we all agree that we need to compromise?

我們是否都同意我們需要達成諒解？

⊙How can we resolve this issue?

我們怎么才能解決這個問題？

⊙I know you two haven't seen eye to eye in the past, but let's work to make a compromise.

我了解你們倆過去有分歧，但是讓我們一起努力來達成諒解。

⊙Let's all calm down.We can work through this.

讓我們都冷靜下來。我們能夠想法解決這個問題。

⊙Let's be fair here, no name-calling, please.

讓我們都公平些，別出口傷人。

⊙We need to come up with a way to work through this.Any suggestions?

我們需要想辦法解決這個問題，有什么建議嗎？

⊙Forget your pain.We need to move on to a solution.Let's forgive and forget.

忘記傷痛，我們需要找到解決之道。讓我們既往不咎。

⊙Okay, so we've agreed to compromise by……

好的，那我們通過……達成諒解。

⊙Our action plan is to……

我們的行動方案是……

耐心

徹底平息（all will be well）沖突，尤其是積怨已久的沖突總是費時（takes time）又費力。有時候要情理并用，苦口婆心。扭轉某種認識就是這么不容易，但是成功的調解人會贏得更多的尊重。

⊙Okay, now that we're finally all in agreement, I will get in touch with the right people to implement these changes as soon as possible.

好的，現(xiàn)在我們終于達成共識了。我會聯(lián)系相關人員盡快落實這些變動。

⊙Thanks everyone for working so hard to resolve this issue.

感謝各位為解決這個問題而付出的辛勤工作。

⊙Let's get the results of our discussion today in writing and put it into action next week.

讓我們把今天討論的結果形成文字，并在下周執(zhí)行。

總結

利用作為領導所具備的公信力和權威來化解公事中的糾紛，并非簡單意義上的“勸架”或“當和事佬”。調解沖突，不僅要動之以情，曉之以理，而且要透過紛爭看到矛盾實質，中立地引導沖突雙方走向諒解和利益的統(tǒng)一。只有讓雙方化干戈為玉帛，才能充分利用集體的凝聚力為企業(yè)服務。

Words　單詞表

acceptable可接受的

allot分配，配給，分派

client客戶，顧客

delegate代表

document文件，文檔

error錯誤，失誤

implement貫徹，實施

incompetent不勝任的，不稱職的

negligent疏忽的，隨便的，不拘謹?shù)?

obnoxious極討厭的

offend得罪，冒犯

overall全面的，綜合的，總體的

overreact反應過激，反應過火

redo重做，返工

unprofessional不專業(yè)的

Phrases　短語表

Bozo here這個笨蛋/傻瓜

cry over split milk覆水難收，爭取當前

forgive and forget既往不咎，不念舊惡

get the job done完成某項工作

get blamed for sth因為某事受到指責

hard drive crash硬盤驅動器崩潰

hear sb out聽某人把話說完

in（one's）own words用自己的話

mix sth up弄錯，弄亂

move on前進

name-calling罵人，中傷

personality conflicts人格沖突

ppt presentation幻燈演示

recover data恢復數(shù)據(jù)

resolve an issue解決一個問題

root cause根本原因

take a chill pill平靜一下，設法平靜

take credit for sth因……受到好評和揚

be unfairly blamed for sth由于某事贊受到不公指責

your/my side of the story身邊的故事

實景對話1

A：Thanks for coming today to discuss this matter. Now, what seems to be the problem?How can we resolve this issue?

B：We lost three major clients because Bozo here made so many mistakes in data keeping.

A：Let's be fair here, no name-calling, please.

C：No kidding. Looks like someone needs to take a chill pill.

A：Jeff, you too. Now, do we all agree that we need to compromise?Let's all calm down. We can work through this.Jeff, let me hear it in your own words.What happened?

C：Well, it's true that we lost three clients. But it's not true that it is all my fault. Yeah, I did make some mistakes with the data……

B：Some mistakes?！

A：Be fair！Let's hear him out.

C：Yeah, I lost the project proposal document for one client, and I mixed up the PPT presentations on two others. But the reason is because my hard drive crashed.I was up until 2am last night working overtime trying to redo all the data.If I had had some help from my workmate here last night, maybe I wouldn't have made so many errors.

A：So you're feeling that if Martin had helped you recover the data last night， you might not have made the mistakes you did.

C：That's right.

A：Well, it seems to me that we can't change what already happened. So I think we need to forget the pain, and move on to a solution. Let's forgive and forget.

A：感謝參與這件事情的討論?，F(xiàn)在，問題是什么？我們該怎么解決？

B：因為這個笨蛋在保存數(shù)據(jù)時犯了許多錯，我們損失了三個大客戶。

A：讓我們公平些，不要惡語中傷。

C：對了?？瓷先ズ孟裼腥诵枰?zhèn)靜一下。

A：Jeff，你也一樣。現(xiàn)在我們都同意應該互讓諒解吧？讓我們都冷靜下來。我們可以解決這個問題。Jeff，讓我聽聽你怎么說。怎么回事？

C：損失三名客戶是真的，但不全是我的錯。是的，我是犯了一點兒錯……

B：一點兒錯？！

A：公平些，讓他把話說完。

C：是這樣，我丟了一家客戶的項目建議方案，還搞混了給另外兩家客戶的幻燈演示。但那是因為我的硬盤驅動器崩潰了。為了重新做所有的數(shù)據(jù)，我工作到夜里兩點。如果這位同事昨晚給我些幫助，也許我就不會犯這么多錯。

A：所以你覺得如果昨晚Martin能夠幫助你修復數(shù)據(jù)，你就不會犯這樣的錯？

C：沒錯。

A：事已至此，我們應當冰釋前嫌，努力找到解決之道。讓我們既往不咎。

實景對話2

A：What is the conflict about?Let's approach this calmly. Everyone's going to have a chance to have their say. Now, Fred, you go first.

B：I don't agree with the way that Marcie handled that project. She was negligent, unprofessional, lazy, and just plain obnoxious. I refuse to work with her anymore！

A：Let's calm down here. We want to work on resolving the issue.I can see that something happened while you were working together on the project that made you very upset. Perhaps there were some things in the way she handled her responsibilities that you would have done differently.Am I right?

B：Yeah, that's right.

A：Marcie, is that what you feel happened?Tell me what your perspective is.

C：I think Fred is really overreacting.I might have offended him in someway，I'm not sure. Yeah, we have different ways of doing things, but I got the job done, didn't I?

A：So Marcie, you're totally unclear on why Fred might be so upset?

C：Well, I'm pretty sure it's because he didn't like the fact that I delegated some of the work to another team……

B：Yeah. You take all the credit without doing any of the work.

A：Okay, our action plan is to redistribute some of the tasks involved in your project and make sure that the work is evenly allotted. Does that sound like a good solution?

B：I suppose so……

C：Okay.

A：你們爭什么？讓我們心平氣和地面對問題。每個人都有機會發(fā)表意見。

Fred，你先說。

B：我不認同Marcie做項目的方式。她粗心、不專業(yè)、懶惰，讓人討厭。我拒絕和她共事。

A：冷靜點吧。我們得一起解決問題。我明白你們在項目協(xié)作上中發(fā)生了讓你很不開心的事?；蛟S你不贊同她處理業(yè)務的方式。我說得對嗎？

B：是這樣的。

A：Marcie，你感覺是這么回事嗎？告訴我你的想法。

C：我認為Fred反應過激了。我也許在什么地方冒犯了他，我不肯定。當然，我們做事的方式各有千秋，但是我把工作搞定了，不是嗎？

A：所以Marcie，你還是不完全清楚Fred到底為什么這么生氣？

C：我肯定他是不滿意我把一些工作委托給了別的組……

B：是的。你什么也沒干卻贏得了所有的功勞。

A：那好，現(xiàn)在我們要重新分配任務，確保均勻分派工作。這樣行嗎？

B：我想可以……

C：好的。