暮光之城?暮色 第20期:打開的書(1)
2. 打開的書
The next day was better… and worse.
接下來的一天，好多了……也糟糕多了。
It was better because it wasn't raining yet, though the clouds were dense and opaque. It was easier because I knew what to expect of my day. Mike came to sit by me in English, and walked me to my next class, with Chess Club Eric glaring at him all the while; that was nattering. People didn't look at me quite as much as they had yesterday. I sat with a big group at lunch that included Mike, Eric, Jessica, and several other people whose names and faces I now remembered. I began to feel like I was treading water, instead of drowning in it.
說好多了，是因?yàn)橛赀€沒下下來，雖然云層又厚又暗。這一天也輕松多了，因?yàn)槲抑雷约哼@一天都要做些什么了。邁克上英語課的時(shí)候坐在了我旁邊，而且還把我送到了下一節(jié)課的地點(diǎn)，"象棋俱樂部成員"埃里克一直都瞪大眼睛看著他;這真讓人受寵若驚。人們不像昨天那樣老瞅我了。我跟一大群同學(xué)坐在一起吃午飯，其中包括邁克、埃里克、杰西卡等好幾個(gè)現(xiàn)在我已經(jīng)記住了名字和長相的同學(xué)。我開始感覺自己是在踩水，而不是在往下沉了。
It was worse because I was tired; I still couldn't sleep with the wind echoing around the house. It was worse because Mr. Varner called on me in Trig when my hand wasn't raised and I had the wrong answer. It was miserable because I had to play volleyball, and the one time I didn't cringe out of the way of the ball, I hit my teammate in the head with it. And it was worse because Edward Cullen wasn't in school at all.
說糟糕多了，是因?yàn)槲液芾?我依然睡不著覺，因?yàn)轱L(fēng)聲還在房子四周回蕩著。說糟糕多了，還因?yàn)槿钦n上我沒舉手，瓦納先生卻要我起來回答問題，而我又偏偏答錯(cuò)了。這天更是痛苦的，因?yàn)槲也坏貌淮蚺徘?，有一次球來了，我?zhàn)戰(zhàn)兢兢沒從來球路線上躲開，就一球砸到了我隊(duì)友的頭上。說這天糟糕多了，還因?yàn)閻鄣氯A·卡倫根本就沒來上學(xué)。
All morning I was dreading lunch, fearing his bizarre glares. Part of me wanted to confronthim and demand to know what his problem was. While I was lying sleepless in my bed, I even imagined what I would say. But I knew myself too well to think I would really have the guts to do it. I made the Cowardly Lion look like the terminator.
一上午，我都在擔(dān)心午飯時(shí)間的到來，怕見到他異乎尋常的目光?？闪硪环矫?，我又想跟他面對(duì)面，要他跟我說清楚是怎么回事兒。睜著眼睛躺在床上的那段時(shí)間，我甚至把要說的話都想好了?？墒俏姨私馕易约毫?，根本就不相信自己真有那個(gè)膽子。我努力讓自己這個(gè)膽小的獅子 看上去像魔鬼終結(jié)者。
But when I walked into the cafeteria with Jessica — trying to keep my eyes from sweeping the place for him, and failing entirely — I saw that his four siblings of sorts were sitting together at the same table, and he was not with them.
不過，我和杰西卡走進(jìn)自助餐廳的時(shí)候——雖然我竭力不讓自己東張西望地去找他，但結(jié)果還是完全沒能控制住——我看見他的四個(gè)兄弟姐妹，一起坐在同一張桌上，而他沒跟他們在一塊兒。
Mike intercepted us and steered us to his table. Jessica seemed elated by the attention, and her friends quickly joined us. But as I tried to listen to their easy chatter, I was terriblyuncomfortable, waiting nervously for the moment he would arrive. I hoped that he would simply ignore me when he came, and prove my suspicions false.
邁克攔住了我們，要我們坐到他那張桌子上去。杰西卡似乎讓他的這番殷勤弄得心花怒放了，她的朋友很快也加入了我們。但在我努力去聽他們無拘無束的閑聊時(shí)，心里卻特別不自在，忐忑不安地等待著他來的那一刻。我希望他來了以后，根本不會(huì)注意到我，從而證明是我懷疑錯(cuò)了。
He didn't come, and as time passed I grew more and more tense.
他沒有來，而隨著時(shí)間一分一秒地過去，我變得越來越緊張不安了。
I walked to Biology with more confidence when, by the end of lunch, he still hadn't showed. Mike, who was taking on the qualities of a golden retriever, walked faithfully by my side to class. I held my breath at the door, but Edward Cullen wasn't there, either. I exhaled and went to my seat. Mike followed, talking about an upcoming trip to the beach. He lingered by my desk till the bell rang. Then he smiled at me wistfully and went to sit by a girl with braces and a bad perm. It looked like I was going to have to do something about Mike, and it wouldn't be easy. In a town like this, where everyone lived on top of everyone else, diplomacy wasessential. I had never been enormously tactful; I had no practice dealing with overly friendlyboys.
去上生物學(xué)課的時(shí)候，我心里踏實(shí)了許多，因?yàn)橹钡轿绮徒Y(jié)束，他依然沒有露面。在去上課的路上，邁克忠誠地陪在我一旁，剛才他還在侃侃而談金毛獵犬的特性來著呢。到了門口的時(shí)候，我屏住了呼吸，可愛德華·卡倫也沒在教室里。我松了一口氣，向座位上走去。邁克跟在我后面，大談特談即將到來的去海灘旅行的事情。他在我的課桌旁一直賴到了打鈴，這才依依不舍地沖我笑了笑，無可奈何地過去坐到了一個(gè)戴著牙套、頂著一頭亂糟糟的燙發(fā)的女孩旁邊?？磥韺?duì)于邁克，我得想點(diǎn)兒招數(shù)了，而這不會(huì)是一件輕而易舉的事情。在這樣一個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)，大家低頭不見抬頭見，講求策略是最要緊的。我從來都不是個(gè)很圓滑的人;對(duì)付過于殷勤的男孩子我還沒經(jīng)驗(yàn)。
I was relieved that I had the desk to myself, that Edward was absent. I told myself that repeatedly. But I couldn't get rid of the nagging suspicion that I was the reason he wasn't there. It was ridiculous, and egotistical, to think that I could affect anyone that strongly. It was impossible. And yet I couldn't stop worrying that it was true.
我一個(gè)人坐著一張桌子，愛德華曠課，真是讓我感到很寬慰。我一遍又一遍地這樣想著?？晌依鲜菓岩墒且?yàn)槲业木壒剩艣]有來，這種懷疑攪得我心神不定。真是太可笑、太自以為了不起了吧，居然以為自己會(huì)對(duì)一個(gè)人產(chǎn)生這么大的影響。那是不可能的?？墒?，我還是忍不住擔(dān)心那是真的。
