海倫·凱勒自傳《我的生活》第50期

　　My studies the first year were French, German, history, English composition and English literature. In the French course I read some of the works of Corneille, Molie, Racine, Alfred de Musset and Sainte-Beuve, and in the German those of Goethe and Schiller. I reviewed rapidly the whole period of history from the fall of the Roman Empire to the eighteenth century, and in English literature studied critically Milton’s poems and "Areopagitica."

　　我第一年主修的科目有法語、德語、歷史、英文寫作和英國文學(xué)。在法語讀物方面，我閱讀了高乃依、莫里哀、拉辛、阿爾弗萊德·德·繆塞和圣伯夫的著作。我閱讀的德語作品主要來自歌德和席勒。此外，我還迅速地重溫了從羅馬帝國陷落到18世紀(jì)這一階段的全部歷史。在英國文學(xué)方面，我嘗試用批評性的眼光研讀了彌爾頓的詩歌和《論出版自由》。

　　I am frequently asked how I overcome the peculiar conditions under which I work in college. In the classroom I am of course practically alone. The professor is as remote as if he were speaking through a telephone. The lectures are spelled into my hand as rapidly as possible, and much of theindividuality of the lecturer is lost to me in the effort to keep in the race. The words rush through my hand like hounds in pursuit of a hare which they often miss. But in this respect I do not think I am much worse off than the girls who take notes. If the mind is occupied with themechanical process of hearing and putting words on paper at pell-mell speed, I should not think one could pay much attention to the subject under consideration or the manner in which it is presented. I cannot make notes during the lectures, because my hands are busy listening. Usually I jot down what I can remember of them when I get home. I write the exercises, daily themes, criticisms and hour-tests, the mid-year and final examinations, on my typewriter, so that the professors have no difficulty in finding out how little I know. When I began the study of Latin prosody, I devised and explained to my professor a system of signs indicating the different meters and quantities.

　　常有人問及我是如何克服大學(xué)學(xué)習(xí)的不便的。當(dāng)然，在課堂上我的情況是獨(dú)一無二的。教授的聲音很微弱，他似乎正在通過一個(gè)電話來說話。授課內(nèi)容會(被蘇立文小姐)以盡可能快的速度拼寫在我的手上，在努力跟上老師講話速度的同時(shí)，老師本人的個(gè)性反而在我面前消失了。滔滔不絕的詞語流淌過我的手心，恰如獵犬追逐行將消失的野兔。即使是在這種情形下，我也不覺得自己比用筆記錄的姑娘們差到哪里。假如整個(gè)心思被機(jī)械性的聽講和手忙腳亂的記錄所占據(jù)，那么你就不可能過多地留意到講義的內(nèi)涵或風(fēng)格。我無法在上課時(shí)做筆記，因?yàn)槲业碾p手正忙于“聽講”。通常我會在到家后把能記得的內(nèi)容草草寫下來。此外，我還要在打字機(jī)上做習(xí)題，記筆記，寫評論，完成課堂測驗(yàn)和期中期末考試，這樣教授們就不難發(fā)現(xiàn)我掌握的內(nèi)容是多么有限。當(dāng)我開始學(xué)習(xí)拉丁文音韻學(xué)時(shí)，我設(shè)法向我的導(dǎo)師解釋了一套顯示不同音節(jié)和詞匯量的(盲文)系統(tǒng)。

　　I use the Hammond typewriter. I have tried many machines, and I find the Hammond is the best adapted to the peculiar needs of my work. With this machine movable type shuttles can be used, and one can have several shuttles, each with a different set of characters—Greek, French, or mathematical, according to the kind of writing one wishes to do on the typewriter. Without it, I doubt if I could go to college.

　　我使用一臺哈蒙德牌打字機(jī)。我曾嘗試過很多機(jī)型，但是我發(fā)現(xiàn)哈蒙德牌打字機(jī)是最符合我工作要求的機(jī)器。這種打字機(jī)具有可變動的鍵盤，你可以移動若干滑梭，每移動一次就會轉(zhuǎn)換成不同的字體——你可以在希臘語、法語或者數(shù)學(xué)字符之間轉(zhuǎn)換，總之，完全視你使用的情況而定。缺少了這種打字機(jī)，恐怕我就無法上大學(xué)了。

　　Very few of the books required in the various courses are printed for the blind, and I am obliged to have them spelled into my hand. Consequently I need more time to prepare my lessons than other girls. The manual part takes longer, and I have perplexities which they have not. There are days when the close attention I must give to details chafes my spirit, and the thought that I must spend hours reading a few chapters, while in the world without other girls are laughing and singing and dancing, makes me rebellious; but I soon recover my buoyancy and laugh the discontent out of my heart. For, after all, every one who wishes to gain true knowledge must climb the Hill Difficulty alone, and since there is no royal road to the summit, I must zigzag it in my own way. Islip back many times, I fall, I stand still, I run against the edge of hidden obstacles, I lose mytemper and find it again and keep it better, I trudge on, I gain a little, I feel encouraged, I get more eager and climb higher and begin to see the widening horizon. Every struggle is a victory. One more effort and I reach the luminous cloud, the blue depths of the sky, the uplands of my desire. I am not always alone, however, in these struggles. Mr. William Wade and Mr. E. E. Allen, Principal of the Pennsylvania Institution for the Instruction of the Blind, get for me many of the books I need in raised print. Their thoughtfulness has been more of a help and encouragementto me than they can ever know.

　　在諸多課程之中，盲文版本的課本屈指可數(shù)，所以在看書時(shí)，我只得把書中內(nèi)容拼寫在手上。同別的同學(xué)相比，我要花更多的時(shí)間準(zhǔn)備功課。手指閱讀耗時(shí)費(fèi)力，而且我還要面對別人不會遇到的困惑。每時(shí)每刻，我都要集中精力讓自己的意識處于興奮狀態(tài)，我會一口氣花好幾個(gè)小時(shí)閱讀幾章內(nèi)容。事實(shí)上，我生活在一個(gè)沒有女孩嬉笑、歌唱和舞蹈的世界里，而這樣的生活常會令我生起抗拒心理。但是沒過多久，我就找回了愉快的感覺，我為心中的不滿情緒感到好笑。畢竟，每一個(gè)渴望獲得真才實(shí)學(xué)的人都必須要獨(dú)自攀登“希爾要塞”，對我而言，那里沒有直達(dá)頂峰的大道通衢，我必須以我自己的方式蜿蜒行進(jìn)。我滑倒過很多次，但是我仍然會爬起來向著隱藏的重重障礙沖擊。我每發(fā)一次脾氣，就能更好地學(xué)會控制自己的情緒。我步履蹣跚，長途跋涉，只為了取得那一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的收獲。我備受世人的鼓勵，我滿懷期盼越爬越高，寬廣的地平線已經(jīng)浮現(xiàn)在我的眼前。每一次的抗?fàn)幎家馕吨淮蝿倮?。艱苦的努力使我觸摸到了輝煌的云海，湛藍(lán)的天空，以及愿望的高地。而且，我并不總是憑借一己之力獨(dú)自奮爭的。賓夕法尼亞盲人教育學(xué)院的院長威廉·韋德先生和艾倫先生為我提供了很多凸版印刷的(盲文)書籍。他們細(xì)致周到的服務(wù)給予了我莫大的幫助，他們對我的鞭策彌足珍貴，已遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)超越了常人的想象。