海倫·凱勒自傳《我的生活》第51期

　　Last year, my second year at Radcliffe, I studied English composition, the Bible as English composition, the governments of America and Europe, the Odes of Horace, and Latin comedy. The class in composition was the pleasantest. It was very lively. The lectures were always interesting, vivacious, witty; for the instructor, Mr. Charles Townsend Copeland, more than any one else I have had until this year, brings before you literature in all its original freshness and power. For one short hour you are permitted to drink in the eternal beauty of the old masters without needless interpretation or exposition. You revel in their fine thoughts. You enjoy with all your soul the sweet thunder of the Old Testament, forgetting the existence of Jahweh and Elohim; and you go home feeling that you have had "a glimpse of that perfection in which spirit and form dwell in immortal harmony; truth and beauty bearing a new growth on the ancient stem of time."

　　去年，也就是我在拉德克利夫?qū)W院的第二年，我主修的科目有英文寫作，《圣經(jīng)》文學(xué)，美國(guó)和歐洲政體，賀拉斯頌詩，及拉丁文喜劇。最有趣，課堂氣氛最活躍的是寫作課。查爾斯·唐森·科普蘭先生的寫作課總是充滿了妙趣橫生、詼諧而睿智的語言，就那個(gè)學(xué)期而言，我覺得他比其他任何老師教得都好。他讓你領(lǐng)略到的是最純粹和最具震撼力的文學(xué)。在短短一個(gè)小時(shí)中，你可以盡情賞析前輩大師們的永恒魅力，你聽不到多余的解釋和說明，一切都讓作品本身說話。由此，你會(huì)沉醉在他們那深邃的思想之中;你會(huì)全身心地陶醉于《舊約》那黃鐘大呂般的雷聲之中，乃至于忽略了耶和華上帝的存在;你會(huì)帶著這樣一種心情回家——你已經(jīng)“窺見到不朽的靈魂以一種和諧的方式常駐人間，而真善美則是同上古精神一脈相承的不二準(zhǔn)則”。

　　This year is the happiest because I am studying subjects that especially interest me, economics, Elizabethan literature, Shakespeare under Professor George L. Kittredge, and the History of Philosophy under Professor Josiah Royce. Through philosophy one enters with sympathy of comprehension into the traditions of remote ages and other modes of thought, which erewhile seemed alien and without reason.

　　這真是令人愉快的一年，因?yàn)槲宜鶎W(xué)的科目特別合我的胃口，比如經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)，伊麗莎白時(shí)期文學(xué)，還有喬治·L.吉特萊芝教授主講的莎士比亞，約西亞·羅伊斯教授主講的哲學(xué)史。一旦步入哲學(xué)的殿堂，你就會(huì)領(lǐng)略到久遠(yuǎn)年代的種種傳統(tǒng)及其思想模式的精妙，而在不久前，這些知識(shí)在世人眼中還是陌生而不知所云的。

　　But college is not the universal Athens I thought it was. There one does not meet the great and the wise face to face; one does not even feel their living touch. They are there, it is true; but they seem mummified. We must extract them from the crannied wall of learning and dissect and analyze them before we can be sure that we have a Milton or an Isaiah, and not merely a clever imitation. Many scholars forget, it seems to me, that our enjoyment of the great works of literature depends more upon the depth of our sympathy than upon our understanding. The trouble is that very few of their laborious explanations stick in the memory. The mind drops them as a branch drops its overripe fruit. It is possible to know a flower, root and stem and all, and all the processes of growth, and yet to have no appreciation of the flower fresh bathed in heaven’s dew. Again and again I ask impatiently, "Why concern myself with these explanations and hypotheses?" They fly hither and thither in my thought like blind birds beatingthe air with ineffectual wings. I do not mean to object to a thorough knowledge of the famous works we read. I object only to the interminable comments and bewildering criticisms that teach but one thing: there are as many opinions as there are men. But when a great scholar like Professor Kittredge interprets what the master said, it is "as if new sight were given the blind." He brings back Shakespeare, the poet.

　　不過，大學(xué)并不是萬能的“雅典學(xué)園”。你不會(huì)在這里遇到偉大的靈魂，也不會(huì)與智慧面面相對(duì)，你甚至感覺不到他們手指的觸摸。雖然他們是確實(shí)存在的，但是他們似乎已經(jīng)變成了干枯的木乃伊。在我們確信已經(jīng)擁有了彌爾頓或者以賽亞之前，我們必須要將他們從知識(shí)的縫隙中抽取出來，并對(duì)其進(jìn)行細(xì)致入微的分析，而不僅僅是自作聰明的模仿。在我看來，很多學(xué)者都忘記了這樣一個(gè)事實(shí)，我們因偉大文學(xué)作品而產(chǎn)生的共鳴，更多地是依賴于我們深切的同情心，而非我們的理解力。問題是留存在人們記憶中的文化精髓極其稀少。不妨說，精髓的傳承猶如枝條上垂下的成熟果實(shí)——你能夠?qū)ひ挼揭欢浠?、一條根莖和一束枝條的生長(zhǎng)軌跡，但是你卻不會(huì)對(duì)滋潤(rùn)鮮花的天堂雨露心存感激。我不耐煩地反復(fù)問自己：“為什么你要在意那些個(gè)解釋和臆測(cè)?”這樣的念頭在我的腦中飛來飛去，就像失明的鳥兒無助地在空中撲打著翅膀。當(dāng)然，對(duì)于我們所讀過的那些著名作品的精髓，我并沒有全盤否定的意思。我所反對(duì)的只是冗長(zhǎng)而令人困惑的評(píng)論，但有一件事是肯定的：有多少人就有多少種觀點(diǎn)。像吉特萊芝教授這樣的大學(xué)者在闡釋大師作品時(shí)曾說過，大師之作“恰如賜予盲人的新視覺”。的確，他正是把莎士比亞的詩人地位復(fù)原如初的先驅(qū)，也是帶給我們光明的使者。

　　There are, however, times when I long to sweep away half the things I am expected to learn; for the overtaxed mind cannot enjoy the treasure it has secured at the greatest cost. It is impossible, I think, to read in one day four or five different books in different languages and treating of widely different subjects, and not lose sight of the very ends for which one reads. When one reads hurriedly and nervously, having in mind written tests and examinations, one’s brain becomes encumbered with a lot of choice bric-?brac for which there seems to be little use. At the present time my mind is so full of heterogeneous matter that I almost despair of ever being able to put it in order. Whenever I enter the region that was the kingdom of my mind I feel like the proverbial bull in the china shop. A thousand odds and ends of knowledge come crashing about my head like hailstones, and when I try to escape them, theme-goblins and college nixies of all sorts pursue me, until I wish—oh, may I be forgiven the wicked wish!—that I might smash the idols I came to worship.

　　然而，當(dāng)我試圖卸載掉一半的課業(yè)負(fù)擔(dān)時(shí)，結(jié)果卻是每每而不可得;事實(shí)上，過重的思維負(fù)擔(dān)會(huì)令你無暇分享知識(shí)所蘊(yùn)涵的巨大價(jià)值。在一天之內(nèi)閱讀四本或五本不同科目不同語種的書籍，而且又不遺漏細(xì)枝末節(jié)，這顯然是不可能的事。當(dāng)你帶著焦慮不安的心情匆匆閱讀，心里只想著各種測(cè)驗(yàn)和考試時(shí)，你的大腦就會(huì)變得無所適從，似乎有太多無用的小擺設(shè)堆在你面前，而如何選擇就成了一個(gè)問題。當(dāng)時(shí)，我的腦子里塞滿了各種各樣的問題，以至于無法將思路理清。無論何時(shí)，只要我一踏入意識(shí)王國(guó)的領(lǐng)地，我就會(huì)感到自己像一頭闖進(jìn)瓷器店的公牛。成千上萬種零零碎碎的知識(shí)就像冰雹一樣在我的腦中四處飛濺，當(dāng)我試圖逃離險(xiǎn)境時(shí)，傳說中的妖精和校園水鬼就會(huì)緊追不舍，直到我愿意——或者說遷就那些邪惡的意識(shí)肆虐橫行!——或許，我應(yīng)該把頂禮膜拜的偶像統(tǒng)統(tǒng)砸碎。