老爸老媽的浪漫史第四季17

[00:00.88]**2009, I'd been dating my high school girlfriend Karen for a few weeks.
[00:00.88]2009年的三月 我和我的高中同學(xué)Karen 約會(huì)了一段時(shí)間
[00:05.36]My friends couldn't have been happier about it.
[00:05.36]我的朋友們對(duì)此是"興奮不已"
[00:07.29]- Hey,everybody. - Hello.
[00:07.29]- 嘿 大家好 - 好
[00:09.88]Sorry,we,uh, we can't stay long.
[00:09.88]抱歉 我們不能久留
[00:12.24]- What a shame! - That is sad!
[00:12.24]- 呀 真是太可惜了! - 真不巧!
[00:14.16]Hey,are those real diamond earrings?
[00:14.16]嘿 你那耳環(huán)是真鉆的嗎
[00:15.92]Yes. Yes,they are. Thank you.
[00:15.92]是啊 是啊 謝謝~
[00:19.07]I didn't say I liked them.
[00:19.07]我沒(méi)說(shuō)我喜歡
[00:21.80]Oh,well,I got a great deal on them,so...
[00:21.80]哦 那好吧 我是撿了個(gè)大便宜 所以...
[00:23.87]Cool. I'm sure all the exploited diamond miners in Sierra Leone would give you a high-five
[00:23.87]是嘛 我肯定塞拉利昂那些被剝削的 鉆石礦工會(huì)跟你擊掌致慶的
[00:27.57]if they still had all their fingers. But really pretty.
[00:27.57]前提是他們得五指齊全 不過(guò)確實(shí)挺好看的
[00:31.82]Meet me upstairs.
[00:31.82]我在樓上等你
[00:33.61]They only need one finger to give her what I'm thinking.
[00:33.61]我對(duì)她的看法只用一個(gè)指頭就能說(shuō)明了 (意思豎中指)
[00:35.93]Yeah. Ted, Karen's a douche.
[00:35.93]沒(méi)錯(cuò) Ted Karen是個(gè)傻逼
[00:39.92]Thanks for sugarcoating it.
[00:39.92]不好意思能客氣點(diǎn)嗎
[00:40.97]"Douche"is sugarcoating it.
[00:40.97]說(shuō)她"傻逼"已經(jīng)很客氣了
[00:42.76]Uh,okay, believe it or not,my friends do not get a vote on who I date.
[00:42.76]好了 不管怎么說(shuō) 你們不能決定 我該跟誰(shuí)約會(huì)
[00:46.97]It's my life. I call the shots.
[00:46.97]我的生活我做主
[00:48.93]- Ted,now! - Yeah,coming!
[00:48.93]- Ted 快點(diǎn)! - 在 來(lái)了!
[00:52.14]I don't know what Ted sees in that horrible woman.
[00:52.14]真不知道Ted看上那猛女哪點(diǎn)
[00:56.18]I mean,yeah, she's got boobs, but...
[00:56.18]沒(méi)錯(cuò) 她有胸 不過(guò)...
[00:58.76]well, I guess I get it.
[00:58.76]哦 我明白了
[01:00.41]I think it's 'cause they met in high school.
[01:00.41]是因?yàn)樗麄冊(cè)诟咧袝r(shí)候就認(rèn)識(shí)嗎
[01:02.49]She was his first real girlfriend.
[01:02.49]她應(yīng)該算是他的第一個(gè)正式女友
[01:04.48]We look at Karen and see a jerk.
[01:04.48]在我們眼里Karen就是個(gè)賤人
[01:06.42]Ted looks at Karen and sees the first person to touch his wiener besides himself,
[01:06.42]可在Ted眼里 她就是除掉他自己
[01:09.90]his mom,and his pediatrician.
[01:09.90]他老媽跟他兒科醫(yī)生以外 第一個(gè)碰他小弟弟的人了
[01:11.87]Okay,well,it's almost 2:00 A.M. I better get ready for work.
[01:11.87]好了 快凌晨2點(diǎn)了 我得準(zhǔn)備去上班了
[01:14.33]How can they call that thing you're on a "morning show"?
[01:14.33]他們?cè)趺凑f(shuō)你的節(jié)目是早間節(jié)目?
[01:17.74]4:00 A.M.is still the middle of the night.
[01:17.74]凌晨4點(diǎn)是大半夜
[01:20.30]I don't see how you do it.
[01:20.30]真不知道你怎么做到的
[01:21.76]It's been almost a month. I'm used to it.
[01:21.76]已經(jīng)快一個(gè)月了 我都習(xí)慣了
[01:24.59]Plus the show's not half bad,right?
[01:24.59]再說(shuō)這節(jié)目也沒(méi)那么差 對(duì)吧
[01:26.52]- Totally. - I've never seen it.
[01:26.52]- 那一定的 - 從沒(méi)看過(guò)
[01:29.44]Have you guys ever watched it?
[01:29.44]你們到底看過(guò)沒(méi)?
[01:30.80]- Of course! - I've never seen it.
[01:30.80]- 當(dāng)然看了! - 我沒(méi)看過(guò)
[01:32.64]Really? What is your favorite segment?
[01:32.64]是嗎 那你們最喜歡哪一部分?
[01:34.37]- Weather. - I've never seen it.
[01:34.37]- 天氣預(yù)報(bào) - 我沒(méi)看過(guò)
[01:35.64]- You guys have never seen my show. - Sorry.
[01:35.64]- 你們根本就沒(méi)看過(guò) - 抱歉
[01:37.55]- It's true. - That's what I've been saying.
[01:37.55]- 嗯 - 我一直在跟你說(shuō)沒(méi)看過(guò)
[01:40.13]Okay,yes,it's dull and generic and we get spanked in the ratings by that Korean channel
[01:40.13]好吧 我承認(rèn) 節(jié)目很悶 很平淡 收視率甚至都趕不上一個(gè)播放
[01:44.75]that only shows Kim Jong Il riding a horse,
[01:44.75]金正日騎馬畫面的朝鮮電視臺(tái)
[01:47.54]but guys,it would mean so much to me if just once I knew my friends were out there watching.
[01:47.54]不過(guò) 如果我知道我的朋友們正在看我的節(jié)目 哪怕只有一次 我也會(huì)覺(jué)得意義非凡
[01:54.86]I'll tell you what.
[01:54.86]我有個(gè)主意
[01:56.08]This Friday morning, everyone can come to our place 3:30 A.M.
[01:56.08]周五早上3點(diǎn)半 大家都來(lái)我們家
[01:59.36]We'll all put on PJs. We'll watch Robin's show.
[01:59.36]我們穿著睡衣 一起看Robin的節(jié)目
[02:02.22]Aw,you guys are the best.
[02:02.22]哇 你們最好了
[02:04.60]We just want to support you.
[02:04.60]我們只想支持你
[02:05.99]3:30***
[02:05.99]{\a6}周五凌晨3:30
[02:06.41]I just want to go to sleep!
[02:06.41]我只想睡覺(jué)!
[02:09.43]I hate Robin for not being more successful.
[02:09.43]Robin怎么就不能更有出息點(diǎn)
[02:13.07]Hey,guys.
[02:13.07]嘿 伙計(jì)們
[02:15.98]Sad announcement: Karen broke up with me.
[02:15.98]壞消息 Karen跟我分手了
[02:21.99]Go ahead.
[02:21.99]別憋著了
[02:23.26]I knew you were listening! Yes!
[02:23.26]我就知道你會(huì)聽(tīng)我們的話! 耶!
[02:38.98]How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode17
[02:38.98]老爸老媽浪漫史 第四季 第17集[02:40.98]Hey,hey, we shouldn't be celebrating.
[02:40.98]嘿 嘿 我們不能幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍
[02:44.08]Ted's just been through a bad breakup.
[02:44.08]Ted剛剛分手了唉
[02:46.92]Look,buddy,tell us everything. Tell us what happened.
[02:46.92]聽(tīng)著 伙計(jì) 跟我們說(shuō)說(shuō)是怎么回事
[02:49.57]Seriously,spare no details.
[02:49.57]慢慢講沒(méi)關(guān)系 細(xì)節(jié)也別漏過(guò)
[02:51.78]What did she say? What did you say? How did it feel?
[02:51.78]她怎么說(shuō)? 你又怎么說(shuō)? 當(dāng)時(shí)什么感覺(jué)?
[02:56.17]If you were to do it again, all over,would you maybe...
[02:56.17]如果給你一次重來(lái)的機(jī)會(huì) 你會(huì)不會(huì)...
[03:01.78]How did it happen?
[03:01.78]怎么一回事?
[03:03.64]It was the stupidest thing.
[03:03.64]實(shí)在是太荒謬了
[03:04.94]I mean,we were just hanging out, you know,being funny...
[03:04.94]我們就在一塊兒玩唄 打打鬧鬧的...
[03:09.15]You're the fan of 2002 Chiantis.
[03:09.15]你最喜歡02年釀吉安蒂紅葡萄酒
[03:11.58]Ew,no,you're the fan of 2002 Chiantis.
[03:11.58]才沒(méi)有 那是你的最愛(ài)
[03:15.88]Wait. What is this?
[03:15.88]等等 這是什么?
[03:18.91]Looks like one of Robin's earrings. That's weird.
[03:18.91]看上去像是Robin的耳環(huán) 真奇怪
[03:21.79]- You're the fan... - How did it get in your bed?
[03:21.79]- 你才最喜歡... - 怎么會(huì)在你床上的?
[03:24.40]I don't know.
[03:24.40]不知道
[03:25.98]Have you been sleeping with Robin?
[03:25.98]你跟Robin在鬼混?
[03:27.63]What? No,of course not!
[03:27.63]什么? 當(dāng)然沒(méi)有啊!
[03:29.22]It,it probably got mixed in with the laundry or something.
[03:29.22]有可能是跟衣服混一起了吧
[03:31.89]Why should I believe you?
[03:31.89]我憑啥信你?
[03:33.32]Um,maybe because I've alwaysbeen faithful to you
[03:33.32]呃 因?yàn)槲覍?duì)你一直忠心不二
[03:36.27]while you've cheated on me, like,six times,bitch.
[03:36.27]你卻讓我戴了差不多6次綠帽子 賤人
[03:39.54]- Oh,snap! - Cold-blooded!
[03:39.54]- 噢 牛! - 夠損吧!
[03:41.06]Right? Right?
[03:41.06]是吧
[03:43.28]I totally should have said that.
[03:43.28]我真該那么說(shuō)的
[03:45.56]Why should I believe you?
[03:45.56]我憑啥信你?
[03:46.97]Um,maybe because I'vealwaysbeen faithful to you while you...
[03:46.97]呃 因?yàn)槲乙恢睂?duì)你忠心不二 而你...
[03:53.40]I love you...
[03:53.40]我愛(ài)你...
[03:56.02]I knew this was a mistake. That's it. It's over.
[03:56.02]我就知道不該這樣 好了 我們玩完了
[04:01.58]And that was it. She left.
[04:01.58]就這樣 她走了
[04:04.51]What a story.
[04:04.51]講得真好
[04:05.82]So brave of you to share that.
[04:05.82]你能跟我們分享真是太有勇氣了
[04:08.37]Wait. Thoseare your pajamas?
[04:08.37]等等 你那是睡衣?
[04:11.23]You sleep in a pajama suit?
[04:11.23]你穿著睡衣西裝睡覺(jué)?
[04:13.27]Of course. What do you think I sleep in?
[04:13.27]當(dāng)然了 不然你覺(jué)得我該穿什么睡? (后面Ted故意理解為 "我該睡哪兒")
[04:15.69]A coffin.
[04:15.69]睡棺材里
[04:17.48]Dude,that doesn't look comfortable at all.
[04:17.48]老兄 那看起來(lái)一點(diǎn)都不舒服
[04:20.21]You're wearing a tie.
[04:20.21]你還打領(lǐng)帶
[04:21.58]First of all, it's a sleeping cravat.
[04:21.58]首先 這是"睡帶"
[04:24.55]Second,it's not about comfort.
[04:24.55]其次 這跟舒不舒服無(wú)關(guān)
[04:26.94]It's about looking good all the time.
[04:26.94]關(guān)鍵是要在任何時(shí)候到衣著光鮮
[04:29.45]Why do you have to look good all the time?
[04:29.45]你干嘛要在任何時(shí)候都衣著光鮮?
[04:31.62]Marshall,let me tell you a little story about something that happened a couple months back.
[04:31.62]Marshall 那我就跟你講講 幾個(gè)月前的一件事吧
[04:44.72]We were just having a "Who's hornier" contest and we spilled massage oil all over ourselves.
[04:44.72]我們比"誰(shuí)更淫蕩" 身上抹得全是按摩油
[04:49.97]Nice pajamas.
[04:49.97]睡衣真酷
[04:51.17]Can we use your shower?
[04:51.17]我們能用用你的浴室嗎
[04:55.41]That's not a memory. That's from a porn movie.
[04:55.41]那才不是發(fā)生在你身上的 分明就是A片里的橋段
[04:58.14]Not just any movie. That's the exact scene from...
[04:58.14]也不是任何一部電影啦 剛好就是那個(gè)...里面的場(chǎng)景
[05:02.16]Never mind.
[05:02.16]不說(shuō)了
[05:03.85]The point is itcouldhappen.
[05:03.85]關(guān)鍵是隨時(shí)都有可能發(fā)生
[05:06.19]And if it did,and I didn't look my absolute best for those greasy sluts, I'd regret it forever.
[05:06.19]如果真那樣 而我在那些油膩膩的小騷貨眼里 又不是最佳狀態(tài)的話 我會(huì)抱憾終身的
[05:12.89]I'm sorry,dude, but that is just the most ridiculous sleeping attire I've ever seen in my life.
[05:12.89]抱歉 老兄 不過(guò)你這是我這輩子見(jiàn)過(guò)的 最可笑的睡衣了
[05:17.45]Anyway...
[05:17.45]總之...
[05:19.52]Marshall's wearing a nightgown! Marshall's wearing a nightgown!
[05:19.52]Marshall穿女士睡衣! 他竟然穿女士睡衣!
[05:23.13]Hey,guys,you know how in the future we're always saying "Remember when Marshall wore a nightgown"?
[05:23.13]嘿 你們能想象我們以后會(huì)拿"還記得 Marshall穿女士睡衣那會(huì)兒"來(lái)取笑他的場(chǎng)景嗎?
[05:25.94]This is that time!
[05:25.94]就是現(xiàn)在!
[05:27.40]It's a nightshirt.
[05:27.40]這是男用睡衣
[05:28.43]You can call it a Ninja Star Danger Jock if you want.
[05:28.43]你要愿意的話叫它忍者隱身衣都行
[05:31.78]Doesn't make you any less of a cross-dresser.
[05:31.78]還是改變不了你異裝癖的事實(shí)
[05:33.55]Whatever,dude. It's comfy.
[05:33.55]隨你怎么說(shuō)都行 我舒服就好
[05:35.94]So,flying to Neverland with Peter and Tink, was that amazing?
[05:35.94]跟小飛俠彼得潘一起飛回夢(mèng)幻島吧 感覺(jué)如何 刺激不?
[05:38.71]Ooh,let me go next!
[05:38.71]哦 我接著來(lái)!
[05:40.20]Was it nice to finally get out of that crowded bed and take Charlie to the chocolate factory?
[05:40.20]從擁擠的大床上掙脫出來(lái) 帶著查理去巧克力工廠感覺(jué)很爽吧! (刁侃電影"查理與巧克力工廠")
[05:44.62]Ooh,me,me,me,me!
[05:44.62]喔 我來(lái) 我來(lái) 我來(lái)!
[05:46.33]Um,something about Scrooge!
[05:46.33]嗯 會(huì)不會(huì)有點(diǎn)像孤寒財(cái)主? (barney想說(shuō)Marshall像幽靈)
[05:46.33](Scrooge--1988電影 里面主人公穿越過(guò)去 現(xiàn)在 未來(lái))
[05:49.61]Come on,guys. I'm carrying the team.
[05:49.61]快點(diǎn) 伙計(jì)們 全是我說(shuō)的
[05:52.13]I don't know. I lived with Marshall for 12 years.
[05:52.13]我不知道 我跟Marshall一起住了12年了
[05:54.76]Any time he's wearing clothes at all,it's a victory.
[05:54.76]他能穿衣服 就算勝利
[06:00.33]Ted,show's about to start!
[06:00.33]Ted 節(jié)目要開(kāi)始了!
[06:01.96]Be right there!
[06:01.96]馬上就來(lái)!
[06:17.00]Good morning,New York. I'm Robin...
[06:17.00]早安 紐約 我是Robin...
[06:21.61]Marshall,I just found Robin's earring on your dresser.
[06:21.61]Marshall 我剛在你的柜子上 看見(jiàn)Robin的耳環(huán)
[06:24.82]Did you have something to do with the other one being in my bed?
[06:24.82]我床上的另一只是你搞的鬼嗎?
[06:27.19]What are you talking about?
[06:27.19]你說(shuō)啥?
[06:28.12]You've always hated Karen. You've been telling me to break up with her.
[06:28.12]你一直不喜歡Karen 一直勸我跟她分手
[06:31.29]You did it. You-you put the earring in my bed so that Karen would find it.
[06:31.29]是你干的 你故意把耳環(huán)放我床上 好讓Karen找到
[06:34.95]No,Ted,No! I would never...
[06:34.95]不 Ted 我沒(méi)有 我決不會(huì)...
[06:36.14]- Admit it! - There's nothing to admit!
[06:36.14]- 你就招了吧! - 我沒(méi)什么可招的啊!
[06:37.98]Then why was Robin's earring on your dresser?
[06:37.98]那為什么Robin的耳環(huán)會(huì)在我的床上?
[06:39.74]He was accessorizing!
[06:39.74]他在給你做裝飾嘛! (嘲諷Marshall像女人)
[06:41.64]Marshall,I swear to God,if you don't tell me the truth right now...
[06:41.64]Marshall 我發(fā)誓 如果你現(xiàn)在 不跟我說(shuō)實(shí)話...
[06:44.51]Wait! Marshall didn't do it.
[06:44.51]等等!不是Marshall干的
[06:48.88]I did.
[06:48.88]是我
[06:50.50]I broke you and Karen up.
[06:50.50]是我拆散你跟Karen的
[06:58.32]You broke me and Karen up? Are you insane?
[06:58.32]你拆散我跟Karen? 你瘋了吧?
[07:01.80]What gives you the right to do that?
[07:01.80]你有什么權(quán)力那么做?
[07:03.22]Ted,I did it for your own good.
[07:03.22]Ted 我是為了你好
[07:05.35]You just weren't seeing how awful she was.
[07:05.35]你是不知道她有多惡心
[07:08.67]She failed the Front Porch Test.
[07:08.67]她沒(méi)通過(guò)我們前廊測(cè)試
[07:10.94]What's the Front Porch Test?
[07:10.94]什么前廊測(cè)試?
[07:13.10]Ted,you,me,and Marshall have been best friends since college.
[07:13.10]Ted 你 我跟Marshall從大學(xué)開(kāi)始 就是最好的朋友
[07:17.02]Think about how much we all mean to each other.
[07:17.02]想想我們對(duì)彼此的意義
[07:20.15]So when I picture the future, I picture us all together.
[07:20.15]所以當(dāng)我瞭望將來(lái)的時(shí)候 我會(huì)想到我們?cè)谝黄鸬漠嬅?br /> [07:23.81]How we'll all be retired, sipping tea on the front porch of our beach house,
[07:23.81]我們退休之后 在海邊別墅的前廊上 一邊飲茶
[07:28.08]playing bridge all day.
[07:28.08]一邊打橋牌
[07:29.93]Okay,bridges are wild.
[07:29.93]好的 橋最厲害 (不懂橋牌 完全yy)
[07:32.46]Four of a bridge beats a royal bridge.
[07:32.46]四張平民橋大過(guò)一張皇室橋
[07:35.11]I see your bridge and I raise you three bridges.
[07:35.11]我跟你一張橋 再加注三張
[07:38.95]Bridge! I win!
[07:38.95]橋! 我贏了!
[07:41.57]You have no idea how to play bridge,do you?
[07:41.57]你根本不懂怎么打橋牌對(duì)吧
[07:43.71]We're gonna take a class.
[07:43.71]我們會(huì)學(xué)的
[07:44.85]It's important to stay active.
[07:44.85]老了也必須保持頭腦靈活
[07:47.35]So whenever you've been dating somebody for a while, I do the Front Porch Test.
[07:47.35]所以不管你跟誰(shuí)約會(huì) 我都會(huì)做一個(gè)前廊測(cè)試
[07:52.34]You know,how is this person gonna fit in with our group over the years?
[07:52.34]看看那個(gè)人能不能融入我們集體
[07:56.43]And when I think about Karen there...
[07:56.43]可我一想到Karen...
[07:58.88]Bridge! I win!
[07:58.88]橋! 我贏了!
[08:01.11]Fantastic. Another game of bridge.
[08:01.11]好極了 又是橋
[08:03.54]Don't read a book or anything.
[08:03.54]書也用不著讀了
[08:05.85]Look,dear... dolphins.
[08:05.85]看 親愛(ài)的 海豚耶
[08:08.93]They seem happy.
[08:08.93]他們看上去挺快活的
[08:10.35]I guess the chemical runoff from this elitist beachfront property hasn't rotted out their blowholes yet.
[08:10.35]但愿這片富饒海灘別墅群的生活污水 不會(huì)堵塞了他們的噴水口 (海豚能噴水嘛 那是鯨魚吧 = =|)
[08:15.49]It will. That water will kill you.
[08:15.49]肯定會(huì)的 那水也會(huì)害了你們自己
[08:18.24]It is a toxic deathtrap.
[08:18.24]這是自掘墳?zāi)?br /> [08:20.77]I'm gonna take a dip.
[08:20.77]我想去噓噓
[08:22.18]I'll join you.
[08:22.18]跟你一起
[08:24.06]Karen failed the Front Porch Test. She had to go.
[08:24.06]Karen沒(méi)有通過(guò)前廊測(cè)試 她必須走
[08:27.23]I can't believe you did that.
[08:27.23]真不敢相信你竟然這樣
[08:29.57]Ted,think about how awesome you,me,and Marshall are.
[08:29.57]Ted 想想就你 我 Marshall該有多快活
[08:32.93]Seriously think about it.
[08:32.93]仔細(xì)想想
[08:39.21]- We're pretty awesome. - We're totally awesome!
[08:39.21]- 我們?cè)谝黄鸫_實(shí)不錯(cuò) - 相當(dāng)不錯(cuò)!
[08:41.62]So whoever you marry, whoever joins Team Awesome,
[08:41.62]所以不管你將來(lái)要娶誰(shuí) 都將成為我們當(dāng)中的一員
[08:45.97]the bar is set pretty damn high.
[08:45.97]這標(biāo)準(zhǔn)相當(dāng)之高
[08:49.11]Look, I'm not saying what I did was right,but...
[08:49.11]聽(tīng)著 我不是在為自己辯解 不過(guò)...
[08:52.10]You're better off without her.
[08:52.10]沒(méi)有她你會(huì)更好
[08:53.43]And if Clarence the angel says it's true,it must be true.
[08:53.43]如果連天使Clarence都這么說(shuō) 那就一定沒(méi)錯(cuò)了 (Clarence the Angel 1980年電影)
[08:56.26]Okay,you know what? Fine,make your little jokes.
[08:56.26]好了 你盡管開(kāi)你的玩笑好了 我不怕
[08:58.73]Seriously,why would you wear something like that?
[08:58.73]說(shuō)真的 你干嘛要穿成那樣?
[09:00.42]- Lots of reasons. - I bet you can't name five.
[09:00.42]- 原因多了去了 - 我賭你說(shuō)不出5個(gè)
[09:03.16]One: No need to wear anything underneath.
[09:03.16]1:不用穿內(nèi)褲
[09:05.27]I can vouch for that. Will you cross your legs,buddy?
[09:05.27]我能證明那點(diǎn) 你能把腿合上嗎
[09:07.42]Two: Sexy.
[09:07.42]2:性感
[09:09.33]I can vouch for that.
[09:09.33]這點(diǎn)我能證明
[09:10.56]Will you uncross your legs, buddy?
[09:10.56]能把腿打開(kāi)嗎 哥們
[09:13.25]Three: My Grandpa Olaf wore one and he lived to be 107.
[09:13.25]3:我的爺爺Olaf也這么穿 結(jié)果他活到107歲
[09:17.01]Four: No elastic waistband leaving its judgmental pink teeth marks around my Thanksgiving belly.
[09:17.01]4:沒(méi)有彈性腰帶在我的大肚腩上 留下小粉嫩的齒痕
[09:22.14]And five: Every night when I go to sleep, it's the freest,
[09:22.14]5: 每晚我睡覺(jué)時(shí) 都能感覺(jué)到一種最自由的
[09:27.57]most wonderful feeling in the world.
[09:27.57]世上最棒的感覺(jué)
[09:29.68]I feel... like I'm flying.
[09:29.68]我感覺(jué)...像是在飛
[09:38.46]So that's how I go to bed every night: happy, weightless.
[09:38.46]這就是我每晚入睡時(shí)的感覺(jué):快樂(lè) 無(wú)負(fù)擔(dān)
[09:42.57]with a heart full of joy. What about you?
[09:42.57]滿心愉悅 你呢?
[09:46.51]I have to lie perfectly still so I don't wrinkle my suit-jamas.
[09:46.51]我必須規(guī)規(guī)矩矩的躺平了 才能避免把我的西裝睡衣弄皺
[09:51.34]But at least I'm not wearing a dress.
[09:51.34]但至少 我穿的可不是睡裙
[09:54.96]So... how mad are you?
[09:54.96]那么...你很生氣嗎?
[09:57.84]I don't know.I mean,
[09:57.84]我不知道
[09:59.65]I guess if you guys feel that strongly about Karen,then maybe it was for the best.
[09:59.65]如果你們真的那么厭惡Karen 或許這是最好的結(jié)局吧
[10:04.49]I really am sorry.
[10:04.49]我真的很抱歉
[10:06.10]I hated doing that again, but Karen had to go.
[10:06.10]我也很討厭故技重施 但是Karen必須得走人
[10:10.59]"Again"? Wait. How many times have you broken me up with a girlfriend?
[10:10.59]"故技重施"? 等等 你拆散了多少回我和女友?
[10:15.15]Never! Six.
[10:15.15]沒(méi)有的事! 6回吧
[10:17.06]- Like who? - No one! Angie.
[10:17.06]- 比如說(shuō)誰(shuí)? - 沒(méi)有! Angie吧
[10:20.51]Sophomore year.
[10:20.51]大二的時(shí)候
[10:22.66]She was just using you to get back at her ex, and you clearly didn't see it,
[10:22.66]她要利用你來(lái)報(bào)復(fù)他的前男友 而你被蒙在鼓里
[10:27.02]so one day when she was taking a nap...
[10:27.02]有天當(dāng)她睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候...
[10:45.70]Creed?
[10:45.70]Creed? (著名搖滾樂(lè)隊(duì))
[10:48.46]Oh,my God, I have to break up with her.
[10:48.46]哦 天啊 我要跟她分手
[10:52.22]So that's where my Creed CD went.
[10:52.22]原來(lái)我Creed的CD是這么不見(jiàn)的
[10:55.13]Who else?
[10:55.13]還有誰(shuí)?
[10:56.50]Remember that weird sci-fi girl who wanted you to propose after,like,two months?
[10:56.50]還記得那個(gè)神叨叨的喜歡科幻的女孩么 就是才交往2個(gè)月就希望你求婚的那個(gè)?
[11:01.69]You barely even liked her, but you were still thinking about it,so...
[11:01.69]你跟她感情也就勉勉強(qiáng)強(qiáng) 但你還真考慮求婚這事了 所以...
[11:08.38]Listen,Ted, you're great, and this is so difficult,
[11:08.38]聽(tīng)著 Ted 你很好 這話很難說(shuō)出口
[11:12.76]but I think we're looking for different things.
[11:12.76]但是我覺(jué)得我們追求不一樣
[11:15.64]So,live long and prosper. Or whatever.
[11:15.64]那么祝你長(zhǎng)命百歲 隨便吧
[11:25.32]That was you? This is insane!
[11:25.32]那人是你? 你瘋了!
[11:28.06]Ted,I did those things to help you.
[11:28.06]Ted 我做這些是為了幫你
[11:30.35]You're a commitment junkie.
[11:30.35]你就是個(gè)戀愛(ài)成癮了
[11:32.41]You fall in love with these women, even if they don't deserve you.
[11:32.41]你愛(ài)上這些女人 即使她們不值得你愛(ài)
[11:35.89]What if one of those women was supposed to be the mother of my children?
[11:35.89]萬(wàn)一這些人中會(huì)有一個(gè)是我孩子的老媽呢?
[11:38.51]If there was ever the tiniest chance of that, I swear I didn't do anything.
[11:38.51]如果真有萬(wàn)分之一的機(jī)會(huì) 我發(fā)誓我是不會(huì)這樣做的
[11:42.42]Like with Victoria or Stella.
[11:42.42]比如Victoria和Stella
[11:44.80]Or Robin.
[11:44.80]或者Robin
[11:47.63]Or Robin.
[11:47.63]或者Robin
[11:49.48]Robin,Robin.
[11:49.48]Robin Robin
[11:51.61]Did you break us up,too?
[11:51.61]你也把我們拆散了?
[11:54.27]Did you break us up,too?
[11:54.27]你也把我們拆散了?
[11:56.33]Stop talking to me like I'm your enemy!
[11:56.33]別用對(duì)付敵人的口吻跟我說(shuō)話!
[11:59.21]You weep for these women, but you have the luxury of not knowing what I know:
[11:59.21]你為失去這些女人難過(guò) 但是我知道很多你沒(méi)有意識(shí)到的事情
[12:04.19]that those breakups, while tragic, probably saved you from a crappy
[12:04.19]那些分手的事 雖然悲痛 卻可能挽救了一段糟糕的
[12:08.15]and very expensive first marriage.
[12:08.15]花費(fèi)昂貴的初婚
[12:10.17]Did you break me and Robin up?
[12:10.17]是你拆散了我和Robin?
[12:12.25]You don't want the truth because deep down, you want me out there watching out for you.
[12:12.25]你不會(huì)想知道事實(shí)的 你越深究 你越明白實(shí)際上你是希望我給你把關(guān)的
[12:16.90]And deep down, you know that none of those women were ever gonna be the mother of your children.
[12:16.90]再深究 你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)這些女人都成不了你孩子的媽
[12:21.81]- Did you break me and Robin up? - I did what I had to do.
[12:21.81]- 是你拆散了我和Robin? - 我只做了該做的事
[12:24.22]- Did you break me and Robin up? - You're damn right I did!
[12:24.22]- 是你拆散了我和Robin? - 你說(shuō)對(duì)了 是我做的!
[12:31.83]Marshall, your grandpa Olaf was a wise man.
[12:31.83]Marshall 你的爺爺Olaf真是個(gè)神人啊
[12:40.93]You broke me and Robin up?
[12:40.93]你拆散了我和Robin?
[12:42.77]- No,it's not... - I cannot believe this.
[12:42.77]- 不 不是那樣的... - 我真不敢相信
[12:44.49]I need another drink.
[12:44.49]我要再喝一瓶
[12:46.55]You know,I feel a little breeze down there. It's nice.
[12:46.55]你知道 我覺(jué)得下面有點(diǎn)涼涼的 感覺(jué)真好
[12:48.84]Oh,you think that's something?
[12:48.84]你覺(jué)得那兒有點(diǎn)東西?
[12:50.33]Stand over this heating vent. It's like your junk is on a tropical island.
[12:50.33]跨在這個(gè)熱風(fēng)口上 感覺(jué)像是你處于熱帶島嶼一樣
[12:56.79]Little Barney says "Mahalo."
[12:56.79]小Barney說(shuō)聲"謝謝" (夏威夷語(yǔ)言)
[12:59.28]Seriously,what is wrong with you,Lily?
[12:59.28]說(shuō)真的 你到底怎么回事 Lily?
[13:01.89]How could you do that?
[13:01.89]你怎么能這么做?
[13:02.90]I did this because I care about you!
[13:02.90]我這么是因?yàn)殛P(guān)心你!
[13:05.15]I am so glad that is the one you watched!
[13:05.15]我真高興你們看了這期的節(jié)目!
[13:08.57]Dear God,what happened to you?
[13:08.57]天啊 你怎么了?
[13:13.23]You didn't watch my show?
[13:13.23]你們沒(méi)看我的節(jié)目?
[13:15.18]The show. Sorry.
[13:15.18]節(jié)目 對(duì)不起
[13:17.23]Something special happen?
[13:17.23]有啥有趣的事嗎?
[13:20.88]Same old,same old.
[13:20.88]老掉牙的 老掉牙的
[13:23.05]Lily just told us that she broke you and me up.
[13:23.05]Lily剛說(shuō)是她使得我們分手的
[13:25.62]What? Broke-broke us up? What does that even mean?
[13:25.62]什么? 使我們分手? 這是什么意思?
[13:28.77]And why are these guys wearing nightgowns?
[13:28.77]他們?yōu)樯兑┲?
[13:30.71]- Nightshirts. - Nightshirts.
[13:30.71]- 男式睡衣 - 男式睡衣
[13:31.58]- It's a nightshirt. - It's called a nightshirt,Robin.
[13:31.58]- 這是男式睡衣 - 這叫男式睡衣 Robin
[13:33.15]Turns out Lily has taken it upon herself to sabotage many of my relationships, including ours.
[13:33.15]我剛發(fā)現(xiàn)Lily是破壞我數(shù)段感情的 罪魁禍?zhǔn)?包括咱倆的
[13:37.90]No. Robin was different. I didn't want you two to break up,
[13:37.90]不 Robin的情況不同 我不想你們分手
[13:41.37]but you wanted completely different things out of life and refused to deal with it.
[13:41.37]但是你們所要的生活方式完全不同 又都不愿意面對(duì)和解決
[13:46.53]I could just picture that front porch.
[13:46.53]我可以想象的出前廊發(fā)生的一幕
[13:49.13]Mm,two of hearts.
[13:49.13]哦 倆張?zhí)倚?br /> [13:51.08]Just like the hearts of the two children I never had because my lovely wife hates kids.
[13:51.08]就像是我沒(méi)出世的孩子的兩顆心 只因我可愛(ài)的太太不喜歡孩子
[13:57.08]Mm,a deuce.
[13:57.08]呣 小二一張
[13:58.96]Exactly what my career dropped once I decided to settle down and marry Ted.
[13:58.96]事實(shí)上 為了安定下來(lái)和Ted結(jié)婚 我的事業(yè)全毀了
[14:04.37]Bridge! I win.
[14:04.37]牌連起來(lái)了! 我贏了
[14:07.84]Well,I do not like that scenario one bit.
[14:07.84]嗯 我可不喜歡這個(gè)情節(jié)
[14:15.18]A***
[14:15.18]2007年4月
[14:11.35]All I tried to do was get you guys to talk about your issues.
[14:11.35]我只不過(guò)想讓你們談?wù)劚舜说膯?wèn)題而已
[14:15.40]I didn't know I was feeding you the words that would lead to your breakup.
[14:15.40]我也不知道我的那句話 成為你們分手的禍根
[14:19.40]Hey,here's a fun question, just for fun.
[14:19.40]嘿 有一個(gè)有趣的問(wèn)題 問(wèn)來(lái)玩一玩
[14:22.82]Where do you see yourself in five years?
[14:22.82]你覺(jué)得5年后自己會(huì)是什么樣子的?
[14:25.61]l***
[14:25.61]當(dāng)晚
[14:25.71]You know what's fun? Fun questions.
[14:25.71]你知道什么是有趣的嘛? 當(dāng)然是有趣的問(wèn)題啦
[14:28.90]Where do you see yourself in five years?
[14:28.90]你覺(jué)得5年后自己會(huì)是什么樣子的?
[14:31.92]Where do you see yourself in five years?
[14:31.92]你覺(jué)得5年后自己會(huì)是什么樣子的?
[14:31.72]t***
[14:31.72]第二天晚上
[14:33.77]Where do you see yourself?
[14:33.77]你覺(jué)得5年后自己會(huì)是什么樣子的?
[14:35.47]Not to put words in your mouth, but you probably want to be married.
[14:35.47]別遮遮掩掩的 你可能想結(jié)婚
[14:40.00]I probably want to be married.
[14:40.00]我可能想結(jié)婚
[14:41.70]You probably want to be in Tokyo or Paris.
[14:41.70]你可能想去東京或者巴黎
[14:44.98]I probably want to be in Argentina.
[14:44.98]我可能想去阿根廷
[14:48.40]Argentina?
[14:48.40]阿根廷?
[14:49.36]Or Tokyo or Paris.
[14:49.36]或者是東京 巴黎
[14:52.52]We have an expiration date, don't we?
[14:52.52]我們的感情總會(huì)走到盡頭 對(duì)嗎?
[14:55.04]Oh,my God.
[14:55.04]哦 天啊
[14:56.05]Lily,you can't manipulate people like that!
[14:56.05]Lily 你不能這樣操縱別人!
[14:59.25]I - I've known you 12 years, and I can honestly say, I have never been more furious at you!
[14:59.25]我認(rèn)識(shí)你12年 老實(shí)說(shuō) 從沒(méi)這樣生過(guò)你的氣!
[15:03.46]- Look,I didn't mean to...I was just... - No! I don't even want to hear it!
[15:03.46]- 聽(tīng)著 我并不是有意...我只是... - 不! 我不想再聽(tīng)了!
[15:07.38]Settle down! Let's just settle down!
[15:07.38]冷靜! 咱先冷靜一下!
[15:09.39]Now,I have one question.
[15:09.39]現(xiàn)在 讓我來(lái)問(wèn)個(gè)問(wèn)題
[15:11.82]What do these bad boys feel like in bed?
[15:11.82]這身衣服在床上穿是什么感覺(jué)?
[15:13.38]Come on. Let's go see.
[15:13.38]來(lái)吧 咱們進(jìn)去試試看
[15:15.92]So,if it weren't for you, Ted and I might still be dating?
[15:15.92]那么 如果不是因?yàn)槟?我和Ted可能還在繼續(xù)拍拖?
[15:19.55]Or you would have stayed together far too long,
[15:19.55]或者是你們倆一起待得太久待到膩煩
[15:22.43]had an incredibly bitter breakup and not even remained friends,
[15:22.43]變成更痛苦的分手 不能再做好友
[15:26.37]and then you and I would never have become best friends.
[15:26.37]這樣你我就不能成為好朋友了
[15:29.88]Don't even say that. Okay?
[15:29.88]別這么說(shuō) 好嗎?
[15:32.79]Stop hugging!
[15:32.79]不許抱!
[15:34.38]Lily,you had no right to interfere in my relationships.
[15:34.38]Lily 你無(wú)權(quán)干涉我的情感生活
[15:38.64]You got lucky. Okay?
[15:38.64]你很幸運(yùn) 對(duì)吧?
[15:39.70]You met the love of your life in a dorm hallway when you were 18.
[15:39.70]你18歲就在宿舍走廊里遇到了一生的摯愛(ài)
[15:43.14]But that doesn't give you the right to play God
[15:43.14]但這并不意味著賦予你權(quán)利來(lái)扮演上帝
[15:44.87]to the rest of us mortals down here who are still looking for someone.
[15:44.87]來(lái)向我們這些仍在苦命尋找的凡人施恩
[15:48.37]You're so concerned about who you and Marshall are gonna end up on that front porch with.
[15:48.37]你太在乎你和Marshall最后 會(huì)和誰(shuí)在那前廊玩牌了
[15:51.70]Well,you know what?
[15:51.70]你知道嗎?
[15:53.50]You can have it to yourselves.
[15:53.50]你留著你的想象吧
[16:00.76]What happened to your jacket?
[16:00.76]你的外套怎么了?
[16:02.03]Oh,soot,bread crumbs, placenta.
[16:02.03]哦 沾了些煙灰 面包屑 胎盤
[16:05.45]Did you at least TiVo it?
[16:05.45]你真一點(diǎn)沒(méi)看節(jié)目啊?
[16:09.99]So you're this comfy every night, and Lily still has sex with you?
[16:09.99]你每晚都穿得那么舒服 而且還有Lily陪你嘿咻?
[16:14.16]Yeah. That's what marriage is all about,man,unconditional love.
[16:14.16]對(duì) 這就是婚姻 伙計(jì) 無(wú)條件的愛(ài)
[16:17.51]You can wear whatever you want and still get laid.
[16:17.51]你愛(ài)穿什么都可以 還可以上床
[16:21.01]Tell me more about being married.
[16:21.01]多給我講點(diǎn)結(jié)婚的事
[16:23.65]Well,sometimes, when you're married,
[16:23.65]有時(shí) 你結(jié)婚了以后
[16:26.33]you wake up to the smell of breakfast already on the table.
[16:26.33]你被餐桌上早餐的香味饞醒
[16:29.47]- And coffee,too? - And coffee,too.
[16:29.47]- 還有咖啡? - 還有咖啡
[16:31.89]Sometimes,she'll even put out a vase of freshly cut flowers.
[16:31.89]有時(shí) 她還會(huì)擺上一瓶鮮花
[16:36.82]I love flowers.
[16:36.82]我愛(ài)花
[16:39.95]And sometimes, when you're worried you've made all the wrong decisions in life
[16:39.95]那么有時(shí) 當(dāng)你擔(dān)心自己一生都是個(gè)錯(cuò)誤
[16:43.52]and you're not nearly the man you want to be, what does she do then?
[16:43.52]你不喜歡現(xiàn)在的自己 她會(huì)怎么做?
[16:47.62]Well, she tells you that you're great and it's all gonna be okay.
[16:47.62]她會(huì)安慰說(shuō)你很棒 一切都會(huì)好的
[16:52.25]That's wonderful.
[16:52.25]太美妙了
[16:54.98]And she'll help you find other girls to have sex with?
[16:54.98]她會(huì)幫你找別的妞兒來(lái)上床嗎?
[17:01.96]I mean,I guess.
[17:01.96]我猜會(huì)吧
[17:03.35]Maybe if you agreed upon that beforehand,yeah.
[17:03.35]如果你們之前有過(guò)協(xié)議的話
[17:08.16]Little guy had a big day.
[17:08.16]小家伙今天累壞了
[17:10.71]We'll talk about it tomorrow.
[17:10.71]咱們明天再聊吧
[17:12.38]Sweet dreams,slugger.
[17:12.38]做個(gè)美夢(mèng) 伙計(jì)
[17:29.16]The next night,I was still angry at your aunt Lily.
[17:29.16]第二晚 我還在生你們Lily阿姨的氣
[17:31.92]Until...
[17:31.92]直到...
[17:35.70]What are you...
[17:35.70]你在...
[17:39.70]Lily came by and explained everything.
[17:39.70]Lily過(guò)來(lái)把一切都講清楚了
[17:42.31]And she gave me this note for you.
[17:42.31]她讓我把這封信給你
[17:49.33]"Ted,I'm sorry.
[17:49.33]Ted 對(duì)不起
[17:50.92]"It doesn't matter to me who you marry.
[17:50.92]你跟誰(shuí)結(jié)婚 對(duì)于我都沒(méi)關(guān)系
[17:53.34]"I know they'll be awesome because they'll think you are.
[17:53.34]我知道她們會(huì)很棒 因?yàn)樗齻冋J(rèn)為你很棒
[17:57.20]"To show I mean it,I put together a little surprise "for you and Karen upstairs.
[17:57.20]為表歉意 我在樓上為你和Karen搞了點(diǎn)小驚喜
[18:01.80]Love,Lily."
[18:01.80]愛(ài)你的 Lily
[18:03.16]"P.S.Sorry the envelope was already open.
[18:03.16]另:很抱歉信封被拆開(kāi)了
[18:05.93]"I had to read what she wrote. Marshall."
[18:05.93]我必須得讀讀她給你寫了什么 Marshall
[18:09.69]Sabotaging our relationship?
[18:09.69]想破壞我們的關(guān)系?
[18:11.54]I got to say,even using the specially-ordered extra-low bar by which I judge your friends,
[18:11.54]我要說(shuō) 即使用最弱的特殊標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來(lái)評(píng)定 你的這個(gè)朋友
[18:16.76]Lily really outdid herself this time.
[18:16.76]Lily這次也做得太過(guò)分了
[18:18.97]Obviously,we can't ever see her again.
[18:18.97]顯然 我們不要再見(jiàn)她了
[18:21.38]I know. It's a big loss,right?
[18:21.38]我知道 這對(duì)你是個(gè)大損失 對(duì)吧?
[18:28.35]Hey,rember your old college roommate?
[18:28.35]嘿 記得你的大學(xué)老同學(xué)嗎?
[18:31.32]He was married to that shrill little idiot girl.
[18:31.32]他跟一個(gè)聒噪的白癡女孩結(jié)婚了
[18:35.25]Marshall. Oh,it's been so long.
[18:35.25]Marshall 哦 已經(jīng)這么久遠(yuǎn)的事了
[18:39.26]God,I hated him.
[18:39.26]天啊 我恨他
[18:41.56]Anyway,here's his obituary.
[18:41.56]這是他的訃聞
[18:45.69]And I realized, maybe it shouldn't matter what my friends think of my girlfriend,
[18:45.69]然后我意識(shí)到 也許我的朋友們 怎么看待我的女友并不重要
[18:49.81]but it sure as hell matters what my girlfriend thinks of my friends.
[18:49.81]但我女友如何看待我的朋友卻很重要
[18:54.69]- So you ended it? - Yeah.
[18:54.69]- 所以你跟她分手了? - 對(duì)
[18:58.58]So if you want to be my plus one, Lily's a damn good cook.
[18:58.58]你想不想做我約會(huì)的另一半 Lily廚藝不錯(cuò)
[19:03.57]Beef pot pie, mac and cheese, homemade buttermilk biscuits.
[19:03.57]牛肉鍋餅 Mac和奶酪 國(guó)產(chǎn)牛奶餅干
[19:07.77]Well, no wonder Marshall dies at 68.
[19:07.77]哇 怪不得Marshall68歲就嗚呼了
[19:12.71]Thank you.
[19:12.71]謝謝
[19:14.14]So,Robin and I enjoyed a gourmet dinner.
[19:14.14]所以 Robin和我享受了一次美妙的晚餐
[19:16.80]Well,for her it was breakfast.
[19:16.80]對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)是早餐
[19:18.66]And we ended up doing exactly what Lily wanted us to do all along:
[19:18.66]然后我們最后做到了 Lily一直希望我們做的事:
[19:22.41]we talked about our relationship.
[19:22.41]我們談?wù)摫舜说母星?br /> [19:25.42]- So,Lily broke us up,sort of. - Yeah.
[19:25.42]- 那么 可以說(shuō) 是Lily使得我們分手的 - 沒(méi)錯(cuò)
[19:30.74]- Kind of makes you wonder. - Yeah.
[19:30.74]- 使得你不得不想 - 沒(méi)錯(cuò)
[19:33.74]I mean,if it weren't for her, would we still be dating right now?
[19:33.74]我是說(shuō) 如果不是她 我們還會(huì)繼續(xù)約會(huì)嗎?
[19:38.62]Maybe.
[19:38.62]也許
[19:41.40]But Lily was right. We weren't ready.
[19:41.40]但Lily是對(duì)的 我們還沒(méi)準(zhǔn)備好
[19:44.55]We both need to move on, do our own thing.
[19:44.55]我們需要各自努力 去完成自己的事業(yè)
[19:48.12]Still do,I guess.
[19:48.12]現(xiàn)在也在努力之中 我猜
[19:52.42]We should make a pact.
[19:52.42]咱倆做個(gè)約定吧
[19:54.50]If the years go by, and we both turn 40, and we're still single...
[19:54.50]時(shí)光流逝 如果到我們40歲的時(shí)候 都還單身...
[20:05.74]Robin Scherbatsky...
[20:05.74]Robin Scherbatsky...
[20:08.26]will you be my backup wife?
[20:08.26]你是否愿意成為我備用的妻子?
[20:11.45]A girl always dreams of hearing those words.
[20:11.45]女孩子都?jí)粝胫?tīng)到這些話
[20:13.81]Yes! Yes! A million times,yes!
[20:13.81]愿意! 愿意! 一百萬(wàn)次的愿意!
[20:24.56]- All right,it's a deal. - Yeah.
[20:24.56]- 好了 就算是個(gè)約定了 - 沒(méi)錯(cuò)
[20:27.96]So,should we set up some ground rules for this?
[20:27.96]那么 我們是不是要約法三章啊?
[20:30.06]Okay,like what?
[20:30.06]好的 比如呢?
[20:30.80]I don't know. Like neither one of us can get super fat. Stuff like that.
[20:30.80]我也不知道 比如我們不能有誰(shuí) 變成大肥豬了諸如此類的
[20:33.78]Okay,I only have one: you can't wear a nightshirt.
[20:33.78]好吧 我只有一條: 你不能穿那種男式長(zhǎng)睡衣
[20:36.29]- I will never wear a nightshirt. - Thank God.
[20:36.29]- 我絕不會(huì)穿長(zhǎng)睡衣的 - 謝天謝地
[20:56.57]Never mind.
[20:56.57]還是算了
[20:58.81]No!
[20:58.81]不!