老爸老媽的浪漫史第四季16

[00:00.63]Back 2009, your aunt Robin got a job hosting a morning show.
[00:00.63]2009年 你們的Robin阿姨得到一份 主持早間節(jié)目的工作
[00:04.44]Which meant she had to get up kind of early.
[00:04.44]這意味著她要早起
[00:06.48]How early?
[00:06.48]有多早呢?
[00:09.55]Morning,everybody.
[00:09.55]大家早
[00:10.73]Hey,Robin.
[00:10.73]嘿 Robin
[00:12.84]So you're actually doing it,huh?
[00:12.84]你真的這么干了 啊?
[00:14.39]You're actually going to work at 2:00 a.m.
[00:14.39]你真是凌晨2點(diǎn)就去上班啊
[00:17.08]I'm not doing it for me. I'm doing it for the fans.
[00:17.08]我做這些可不是為了自己 是為了我的粉絲
[00:19.98]Who exactly are the fans of a show that airs at 4:00 in the morning?
[00:19.98]誰會(huì)是凌晨4點(diǎn)播出的節(jié)目的粉絲啊?
[00:23.58]People getting up to host a show at 5:00 in the morning?
[00:23.58]凌晨5點(diǎn)的節(jié)目主持人吧?
[00:26.50]Meth addicts who haven't sold their TVs yet?
[00:26.50]還沒電視賣了的癮君子?
[00:29.07]Strippers in that messy gray area between getting off work and getting their kids up for school?
[00:29.07]剛剛下班 還沒叫醒孩子上學(xué)的脫衣舞女?
[00:33.92]Them's my peeps.
[00:33.92]反正他們支持我
[00:35.44]All right, catch me up. What's been going on?
[00:35.44]好啦 告訴我 最近有啥好玩的嗎?
[00:37.89]You know,the yoozh.
[00:37.89]你知道的 平平淡淡而已
[00:40.37]Really,the yoozh? Yes.
[00:40.37]- 真的嗎 平平淡淡? - 沒錯(cuò)
[00:42.31]Robin,think of the funniest thing that has ever happened.
[00:42.31]Robin 想著你見過的最滑稽的事
[00:45.76]Got it.
[00:45.76]明白了
[00:46.56]Now double that.
[00:46.56]想象比這雙倍的滑稽
[00:48.50]So a chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos?
[00:48.50]一頭黑猩猩穿了兩件晚禮服?
[00:52.41]Something even funnier than that happens to Marshall today.
[00:52.41]Marshall今天發(fā)生了比這還搞笑的事
[00:56.21]Okay,first of all,there's nothing funnier than that.
[00:56.21]好的 首先 沒有比這更搞笑的了
[00:58.76]Second of all,look, it's not that good a story.
[00:58.76]然后 瞧 這并不是什么好故事
[01:02.46]Oh,come on,you guys.
[01:02.46]哦 好啦 大伙
[01:03.89]You're four young active people living in the most exciting city on earth.
[01:03.89]你們這四個(gè)住在地球上最棒的城市里 年輕活潑的家伙們
[01:08.30]You telling me you have no stories for me?
[01:08.30]你們竟沒啥好玩的事要跟我說?
[01:10.07]What can I say? Some weeks are just like that.
[01:10.07]我能說啥呢? 這幾周就是這么過的
[01:12.42]It's the same thing over and over.
[01:12.42]每天重復(fù)一樣的事
[01:15.20]A kid in my class ate some paste.
[01:15.20]我班里的一個(gè)小孩喝了一些膠水
[01:17.11]I used deceitful means to hook up with a less-than-intelligent girl.
[01:17.11]我耍伎倆騙一個(gè)傻妞跟我約會(huì)
[01:21.48]My ex-girlfriend Karen moved to town.
[01:21.48]我的前女友Karen搬到城里來了
[01:23.33]It's just, it's all the same,Robin.
[01:23.33]就是 就是沒啥新鮮的 Robin
[01:25.13]Karen's in town?
[01:25.13]Karen搬來城里了?
[01:26.91]- You have got to be kidding me! - No!
[01:26.91]- 你不是開玩笑的吧! - 不!
[01:28.98]Kids,I think I've told you about Karen.
[01:28.98]孩子們 我想我跟你們提過Karen了
[01:31.49]She was my girlfriend in high school, and intermittently through college.
[01:31.49]她是我高中的女友 我們分分合合
[01:35.13]She was beautiful,smart.
[01:35.13]她很漂亮 人又聰明
[01:37.32]I was madly in love with her.
[01:37.32]我非常愛她
[01:39.13]The only problem was, Marshall and Lily were not.
[01:39.13]但問題是 Marshall和Lily不喜歡她
[01:42.50]I think it had something to do with every time Karen opened her mouth.
[01:42.50]我想這跟Karen的這張嘴有關(guān)系
[01:45.71]I love that you guys live in a dorm. It's so American.
[01:45.71]我喜歡你們住在這種集體宿舍里 這真是美國特色的啊
[01:49.44]It's like,let's all eat baloney sandwiches and be racist.
[01:49.44]感覺就像我們都吃著三明治 搞起種族歧視來（美國特色）
[01:54.77]Oh,my God,she was such a douche.
[01:54.77]哦 天啊 她簡直就是個(gè)垃圾
[01:57.14]Dude,she was the heiress to the Massengill fortune.
[01:57.14]伙計(jì) 她簡直是Massengill的繼承人 （暗喻Karen嘴賤）
[02:00.51]She really wasn't that bad.
[02:00.51]她沒那么壞
[02:02.18]Of courseyouthink that.
[02:02.18]你當(dāng)然這么想啦
[02:03.82]She turned you into one of her douche zombies.
[02:03.82]她把你也給帶壞了
[02:06.83]I want to eat your brain, but only if it's organic and grass-fed.
[02:06.83]我要吃掉你的腦袋 只吃有機(jī)和喂草長成的
[02:13.92]What?
[02:13.92]什么啊?
[02:15.47]Will you pass the salt?
[02:15.47]給我遞一下鹽好嗎?
[02:17.31]Salt?
[02:17.31]鹽?
[02:19.13]So bourgeois.
[02:19.13]真小資
[02:21.85]Totally.
[02:21.85]沒錯(cuò)
[02:26.24]What's that thing?
[02:26.24]那是什么?
[02:28.24]That's a TV,Karen.
[02:28.24]那是電視機(jī) Karen
[02:32.26]I don't watch TV.
[02:32.26]我不看電視的
[02:34.81]Totally.
[02:34.81]沒錯(cuò)
[02:37.36]You thought I actually bought tickets to WrestleMania?
[02:37.36]你真以為我買了票去看摔角狂熱賽?
[02:40.46]I was being ironic.
[02:40.46]我說的反話而已
[02:43.09]Totally.
[02:43.09]沒錯(cuò)
[02:44.96]I know that you were being ironic.
[02:44.96]我知道你說的是反話
[02:50.54]I too am being ironic.
[02:50.54]我這樣也不過是為了嘲諷一下而已
[02:54.49]Let's do this!
[02:54.49]咱們沖吧!
[02:58.22]What?
[02:58.22]什么?
[02:59.80]That makeup didn't come off for a month.
[02:59.80]那身裝扮我花了一個(gè)月才洗下來
[03:01.98]I had to meet Lily's parents that way.
[03:01.98]我那時(shí)還要去見Lily的父母
[03:03.62]I've never looked like a bigger jackass.
[03:03.62]我從沒那么白癡過
[03:05.28]Until today.
[03:05.28]直到今天為止
[03:06.50]Tell the story. Tell the story. Tell the story...
[03:06.50]講你的故事 講你的故事 講你的故事...
[03:08.86]Just let it go!
[03:08.86]就放過我吧!
[03:10.02]Well,hold on. Is it really funny?
[03:10.02]哦 夠了 這很好玩嗎?
[03:12.36]Robin,I am not kidding you.
[03:12.36]Robin 我可不是唬你啊
[03:14.95]I almost don't want you to hear it, because seriously, for the rest of your life,
[03:14.95]我都不想讓你聽它 因?yàn)檎娴?你這一生中
[03:20.75]nothing else will ever be as funny and you will curse yourself
[03:20.75]都不會(huì)再遇到比這更搞笑的事了 你會(huì)詛咒自己的
[03:24.75]for agreeing to ever hear it in the first place.
[03:24.75]咒罵自己為啥一開始要聽這個(gè)事
[03:27.97]But seriously,you got to hear it. It's so funny.
[03:27.97]但說真的 你一定要聽 真的很搞笑
[03:31.37]Fine.
[03:31.37]好吧
[03:32.82]I was at the company gym this morning playing basketball.
[03:32.82]今早我在公司的球館打籃球
[03:36.05]The guys I work with can be pretty brutal with their ridicule.
[03:36.05]我的同事挖苦人可是一點(diǎn)不留情的
[03:39.23]Hey,look at Wisniewski.
[03:39.23]嘿 瞧Wisniewski那孬樣
[03:41.73]He's gonna cry. Look at him.
[03:41.73]他要哭鼻子了 瞧他
[03:43.11]Yeah,look at him.
[03:43.11]瞧他那樣
[03:44.67]I don't know. I don't think knees aren't supposed to bend that way.
[03:44.67]我不明白 我覺得膝蓋也許真扭傷了
[03:46.90]I think he might have tore his ACL.
[03:46.90]我想他可能傷到前交叉韌帶了
[03:49.24]Bro,the only thing that guy tore was his cervix or maybe his hymen.
[03:49.24]伙計(jì) 他傷到的只能是子宮頸和處女膜吧
[03:52.81]Or his Fallopian tube. Boom!
[03:52.81]或者是輸卵管吧 嘣!
[03:57.78]I may have cleaned up the dialogue a little bit.
[03:57.78]我已經(jīng)對(duì)對(duì)話進(jìn)行過過濾處理
[04:00.23]Anyways...
[04:00.23]然后...
[04:01.40]I go to my duffle bag to get out my work clothes...
[04:01.40]我拿起儲(chǔ)物袋子取出工作服...
[04:04.12]Wait,wait,wait,wait. I want to say it. I want to say it. I want to say it.
[04:04.12]等等等等 讓我來說 讓我來說 讓我來說
[04:07.25]Fine. You say it.
[04:07.25]好吧 你說吧
[04:09.03]Marshall goes to his duffle bag to get out his work clothes, and...
[04:09.03]Marshall拿起儲(chǔ)物袋子取出他的工作服 然后...
[04:13.20]No,no,no, you say it. It's funnier if you say it.
[04:13.20]不不不不 你來說吧 你說起來更搞笑
[04:16.20]No,let me say it. No,no,you say it. You say it. Say it.
[04:16.20]不 讓我來說 不不不 你來說吧 你說 你說吧
[04:21.10]Same time.
[04:21.10]從剛才那里說起
[04:23.05]No,no,no,you go. You go.
[04:23.05]不不不不 你說 你說
[04:26.05]- I forgot... - Marshall forgot his pants!
[04:26.05]- 我忘了... - Marshall忘了拿褲子!
[04:37.83]He forgot his pants.
[04:37.83]他忘了拿褲子
[04:53.62]How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode16
[04:53.62]老爸老媽浪漫史 第四季第16集 [04:55.62]Okay,Marshall forgot his pants. That's pretty funny.
[04:55.62]好吧 Marshall沒穿褲子 真好笑啊
[04:59.15]It's no chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos.
[04:59.15]不如黑猩猩穿兩件禮服搞笑
[05:02.03]I mean,what did he... he forgot he put the first one on?
[05:02.03]我是說 它怎么能... 怎么能忘了它已經(jīng)穿了一件了呢?
[05:06.82]Stupid monkey.
[05:06.82]傻猴子 (汗 是猩猩啊)
[05:09.64]So Karen in New York. Weird,right?
[05:09.64]Karen回到紐約來了 很奇怪 對(duì)吧?
[05:12.91]Ted,you cannot get back together with Karen.
[05:12.91]Ted 你不能再吃Karen這棵回頭草了啊
[05:15.59]I never said I was going to get back together with her.
[05:15.59]我可沒說要跟她舊情復(fù)燃啊
[05:17.86]But I was thinking, she's new in town.
[05:17.86]我只是在想 她對(duì)城里不熟
[05:19.46]Would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave her a call?
[05:19.46]我給她打個(gè)電話也不是什么恐怖的事嘛?
[05:21.30]No,no,Ted,it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
[05:21.30]不 不 Ted 這不是什么最恐怖的事
[05:23.63]It would be the fourth worst thing.
[05:23.63]這是世上第四大最恐怖的事
[05:25.13]**Super volcano. **An asteroid hits the Earth.
[05:25.13]第一是火山大爆發(fā) 第二是行星撞地球
[05:28.30]**All footage of Evel Knievel is lost. **Ted calls Karen.
[05:28.30]第三是電影飛車人生就此失傳了 第四是Ted給Karen打電話
[05:32.76]**Lily gets eaten by a shark.
[05:32.76]第五是Lily被鯊魚吃了
[05:34.94]I'm Lily and I approve the order of that list.
[05:34.94]我就是Lily 我敢保證這個(gè)排序的公正性
[05:38.13]You don't know the whole story.
[05:38.13]你們可是不知道內(nèi)情哇
[05:40.17]Ted and Karen were off and on all through college, and it always went the same way.
[05:40.17]Ted和Karen整日在校園里出雙入對(duì) 天天如此
[05:44.90]They'd be having fun, douching it up, and then one day...
[05:44.90]他們一起玩 惡心來惡心去的 直到有一天...
[05:48.74]I know you think pepperoni is fascist and you're totally right,so I...
[05:48.74]我知道你認(rèn)為烤胡椒香腸口味是最棒的 你說得完全沒錯(cuò) 所以我...
[05:52.55]Oh,my God! Karen!
[05:52.55]哦 天啊! Karen!
[05:55.79]Sorry,bro.
[05:55.79]對(duì)不起啦 老兄
[05:57.94]Before you say anything, I think that you should read Baudelaire's Les Fleurs du Mal.
[05:57.94]在你發(fā)飆之前 我想你該去讀一讀波德萊爾的"惡之花"
[06:05.64]Okay.
[06:05.64]好吧
[06:08.52]So then they break up.
[06:08.52]然后他們分手了
[06:09.71]Ted would be all depressed and we would wait the appropriate amount of time
[06:09.71]Ted很消沉 我們倆在等待時(shí)機(jī)
[06:13.06]and then we'd would tell him how we really felt.
[06:13.06]然后告訴他我們的看法
[06:15.77]Karen and I broke up.
[06:15.77]我和Karen分手了
[06:16.97]- We hated her! - Bitch had to go!
[06:16.97]- 我們恨死她! - 賤人快滾!
[06:20.48]And then Ted would build up a head of steam and finally take the bus to Providence
[06:20.48]然后他痛下決心 還搭了巴士去普羅維登斯
[06:24.60]to give Karen a piece of his mind.
[06:24.60]去跟Karen攤牌
[06:28.13]- How'd it go? - Great.
[06:28.13]- 怎么樣了? - 好極了
[06:31.14]Look who's back.
[06:31.14]看看誰回來了
[06:33.57]- Karen. - Karen.
[06:33.57]- Karen - Karen
[06:36.76]And then,sure enough, the whole thing would start all over again.
[06:36.76]然后 毫無懸念 故事重演
[06:41.76]Make that 10,002 Maniacs, because I got us Natalie Merchant tick...
[06:41.76]發(fā)出比"一萬個(gè)瘋子樂隊(duì)"還瘋2回的叫聲吧 因?yàn)槲屹I到了Natalie Merchant演唱會(huì)的門票... (一個(gè)著名的搖滾樂隊(duì)以及主唱)
[06:48.33]Sorry,bro.
[06:48.33]對(duì)不起啦 老兄
[06:50.90]So she would come visit you at school and the second you turned your back
[06:50.90]她來學(xué)校找你 這次你又不在
[06:53.85]she would bring guys back toyourdorm room?
[06:53.85]她就帶男人去你宿舍?
[06:56.48]Respect.
[06:56.48]真牛
[06:57.95]Okay,I was an idiot.
[06:57.95]好啦 我是個(gè)白癡
[06:59.69]She was my first real girlfriend. I was madly in love with her.
[06:59.69]她是我的第一個(gè)女朋友 我那時(shí)很愛很愛她
[07:02.29]We all did stuff we regret in college.
[07:02.29]我們在大學(xué)里都干過些后悔的事
[07:05.03]Junior year Marshall grew a soul patch, wore a rasta hat, and asked everyone to call him M.J.Smooth.
[07:05.03]大三時(shí) Marshall交了一個(gè)哥們 總戴著一頂棉線帽 讓大家管他叫M.J.Smooth (模仿邁克爾.杰克遜的'smooth criminal犯罪高手")
[07:11.11]I don't regret that for one second.
[07:11.11]我可從沒為這事后悔過
[07:14.01]So you guys absolutely don't think I should call her?
[07:14.01]你們真的覺得我不該打給她?
[07:16.46]- Ted,no. - Get it through your thick skull.
[07:16.46]- Ted 不要 - 你就斷了這念頭吧
[07:18.37]Okay,okay,fine, I won't.
[07:18.37]好啦 好啦 我不會(huì)的
[07:21.34]Interesting piece of trivia: I called her.
[07:21.34]搞笑的是 我已經(jīng)打過了
[07:24.02]- You idiot! - What are you doing?
[07:24.02]- 你個(gè)白癡! - 你搞什么鬼啊?
[07:25.38]The pants story.
[07:25.38]褲子的事
[07:26.86]I can't believe you called her.
[07:26.86]我真不敢相信你打給她了
[07:28.79]Why don't you just ask her to lunch while you're at it?
[07:28.79]你為啥不干脆在電話里 約她出來吃午飯算了?
[07:31.26]Because,Lily, I'm not going to ask her out to lunch... again.
[07:31.26]因?yàn)長ily 我不會(huì)叫她出來吃午飯了... 下一次就不會(huì)了
[07:37.05]You asked her to lunch?
[07:37.05]你約她吃午飯了?
[07:39.99]Why would anyone want to have lunch with their ex?
[07:39.99]有誰會(huì)跟舊情人吃午飯啊?
[07:43.65]Glad you asked,Marshall.
[07:43.65]你這個(gè)問題問得好 Marshall
[07:44.65]There are four possible motives behind an "ex lunch."
[07:44.65]有四種原因促使"與舊情人吃午餐"的發(fā)生
[07:47.33]They want to get back together.
[07:47.33]第一 他們想復(fù)合
[07:50.31]Oh,like my high school boyfriend Scooter.
[07:50.31]哦 跟我的高中男友Scooter一個(gè)德行
[07:53.48]Lilies,clever.
[07:53.48]百合啊 真有心 (和Lily名字一樣的花)
[07:55.60]I'm sorry I don't have a scooter for you.
[07:55.60]抱歉 我可沒有踏板車送給你 (和Scooter一樣的名字)
[07:58.49]My God,that's funny! Forgot how funny you are.
[07:58.49]天啊 真搞笑! 都忘了你這么幽默了
[08:03.70]- Where is that waiter? - Why? You like waiters?
[08:03.70]- 服務(wù)員在哪兒呢? - 為什么? 你喜歡服務(wù)員?
[08:07.41]I can be a waiter.
[08:07.41]我可以去做服務(wù)員
[08:09.28]I'm going to be the greatest waiter on this earth, and then you'll love me.
[08:09.28]我要做世上最好的服務(wù)員 這樣你就會(huì)愛我了
[08:14.85]They want to kill you.
[08:14.85]第二 他們想滅了你
[08:17.53]Like when I had lunch with Wendy.
[08:17.53]跟我和Wendy吃午飯一樣
[08:19.53]I'm glad we could finally do this.
[08:19.53]我很高興我們終于可以一起吃飯了
[08:21.79]You know,after the ninth time you rescheduled on me, I almost gave up on you.
[08:21.79]你知道么 當(dāng)你第九次把我們的約會(huì)推后 我都要放棄了
[08:25.93]But you didn't. You just kept on trying.
[08:25.93]但你沒有 你堅(jiān)持不懈
[08:29.76]By the way,there's something I've been meaning to give you.
[08:29.76]另外 我有樣?xùn)|西一直想給你
[08:37.56]Gun! She's got a gun!
[08:37.56]槍! 她有槍!
[08:41.86]It-it's a tie.
[08:41.86]是...是條領(lǐng)帶
[08:43.81]They actually do want to give you your stuff back.
[08:43.81]第三 他們想歸還你的東西
[08:47.31]Like when I had lunch with Curt.
[08:47.31]像我和Curt吃午餐一樣
[08:49.45]By the way,there's something I've been meaning to give you.
[08:49.45]另外 我有樣?xùn)|西要給你
[08:57.95]My snub-nosed. 38 police special!
[08:57.95]我的點(diǎn)38短管左輪手槍!
[09:00.60]I knew I left that somewhere.
[09:00.60]我知道我給弄丟了
[09:03.33]Every time I watch the news, I'm like, "Oops,hope that wasn't my gun."
[09:03.33]每次我看新聞 我都在想 "哦 希望這不是用的我的槍"
[09:08.63]Breaking up was the right choice.
[09:08.63]跟你分手是對(duì)的
[09:11.94]Or #4: to rub your face in how great they're doing.
[09:11.94]或者是第四是炫耀他們的近況
[09:16.14]Like my lunch with Nicole Barsamian.
[09:16.14]像我和Nicole Barsamian吃午餐一樣
[09:18.61]- Who's Nicole Barsamian? - My ex.
[09:18.61]- Nicole Barsamian是誰? - 我的前女友
[09:22.05]Hello,Nicole.
[09:22.05]你好 Nicole (囧 真有歷史)
[09:23.46]You look well,Marshall.
[09:23.46]你看著不錯(cuò) Marshall (小Marshall好可愛)
[09:25.25]You look okay,I guess.
[09:25.25]你也是 我覺得
[09:28.17]- I'm seeing someone. - Already? Who?
[09:28.17]- 我跟別人約會(huì)了 - 這么快? 誰啊 ?
[09:31.18]Lee Roberts. He reads at a fifth grade level.
[09:31.18]Lee Roberts 他能讀懂5年級(jí)的課本了
[09:38.51]You have to cancel the lunch.
[09:38.51]你一定要取消這個(gè)午餐約會(huì)
[09:40.38]I would definitely do that, definitely...
[09:40.38]我一定會(huì)這么做的 絕對(duì)...
[09:42.76]except I already had it.
[09:42.76]可我們已經(jīng)吃過了
[09:45.75]Robin,I'm going to need to borrow the butt of your gun.
[09:45.75]Robin 我要借你的槍托用用
[09:49.35]I actually lost it again. Can you believe that?
[09:49.35]可我又把弄它丟了 簡直難以置信
[09:57.06]How could break bread with that woman?
[09:57.06]咋能和那女人一起用餐呢?
[09:59.61]It was just lunch,and you know she doesn't eat wheat.
[09:59.61]只是午餐 況且她也沒吃小麥
[10:03.03]We had a great time catching up.
[10:03.03]我們談笑風(fēng)生
[10:04.62]We even laughed about what jerks we were back then.
[10:04.62]甚至還拿以前的幼稚行為開涮
[10:09.38]I can't believe I had a beret for each day of the week.
[10:09.38]真不敢相信我每天都頂著個(gè)貝雷帽
[10:12.15]I can't believe I had an iron-on image of Moli? re on my backpack.
[10:12.15]真不敢相信我在背包上 印了個(gè)莫里哀(法國喜劇作家 演員)
[10:17.07]Man,we were pretentious.
[10:17.07]哥們 我們那時(shí)都自命不凡
[10:19.47]So pretentious.
[10:19.47]太自命不凡了
[10:21.85]What can I get you?
[10:21.85]請問點(diǎn)什么?
[10:26.46]Um, I don't want to cause a scene, but your wine list has a Chteauneuf-du-Pape
[10:26.46]我不想太張揚(yáng) 但是你們把"教皇新堡"葡萄酒
[10:30.68]listed under the "Ctes du Provence."
[10:30.68]排在了"普羅旺斯山谷"葡萄酒下面
[10:33.14]You might want to alert your sommelier.
[10:33.14]你該提醒下你們的侍酒師
[10:35.88]And for you?
[10:35.88]你呢?
[10:37.77]I hate to go off-menu, but can you bring us somebruschett with freshmozzarell?
[10:37.77]我討厭看菜單 就來些 意式芝士烤面包?
[10:42.72]Grazie.
[10:42.72]謝謝(意大利語)
[10:45.86]It was great. It was great.
[10:45.86]真不錯(cuò) 真不錯(cuò)
[10:47.49]I mean,there was one weird moment towards the end.
[10:47.49]我是說 其間只有一會(huì)兒不自在
[10:50.20]Yeah,how do you say good-bye in those situations?
[10:50.20]嗯 那你當(dāng)時(shí)咋和她告別?
[10:52.26]A kiss on the cheek is too familiar.
[10:52.26]親下臉蛋太沒創(chuàng)意
[10:54.33]A handshake is too formal.
[10:54.33]而握手言別又太正式
[10:55.77]And a hug is just like a public dry hump.
[10:55.77]擁抱就像沒快感沒創(chuàng)意的性交
[10:59.87]I think you're hugging wrong.
[10:59.87]我覺得你理解錯(cuò)了
[11:02.51]So what happened?
[11:02.51]那咋告別的?
[11:03.97]Well...
[11:03.97]好吧...
[11:05.03]Schopenhauer made a saucy little argument in which he posited...
[11:05.03]叔本華自認(rèn)為...
[11:10.67]Ted,honey,I want you to go outside and bite the curb. I'll be out in a minute.
[11:10.67]Ted 親愛的 我要你出去啃路沿 我馬上就出來檢查
[11:14.12]Hey,Karen was the first girl I ever loved. Okay?
[11:14.12]嘿 Karen是我的初戀 好不?
[11:17.67]And after the year I've had, I - I don't know,
[11:17.67]時(shí)隔境遷 我-我不明白
[11:20.36]I guess having lunch with her just reminded me of what it was like to be 18
[11:20.36]也許與她共進(jìn)午餐 讓我回憶起過往的青蔥歲月
[11:23.76]and have my whole life figured out.
[11:23.76]并且認(rèn)清人生的真諦
[11:26.30]And I would like to remind everyone that at least I was wearing pants,Marshall.
[11:26.30]還有我要提醒大家 至少我是穿著褲子 Marshall
[11:31.04]No! No,no,no! You can't just go changing the subject like that.
[11:31.04]不! 不! 你不能這樣轉(zhuǎn)變話題
[11:34.80]Oh,yeah,the pants story.
[11:34.80]對(duì)呀 褲子糗事
[11:36.55]Pants story bomaye! Pants story bomaye!
[11:36.55]褲子糗事干掉他! 褲子糗事干掉他! (bomaye拳擊比賽用語)
[11:39.33]There's no story!
[11:39.33]沒啥糗事!
[11:40.63]I had a little situation, so I called Lily.
[11:40.63]我碰到了點(diǎn)狀況 所以打Lily電話
[11:43.73]And just refresh us; what was that situation?
[11:43.73]再說遍 啥狀況啊?
[11:45.27]I forgot my pants.
[11:45.27]我忘帶褲子了
[11:48.49]What do you mean you forgot your pants?
[11:48.49]忘帶褲子是啥意思?
[11:50.50]I forgot them.
[11:50.50]我忘記拿了
[11:52.07]Now,I need you to bring me some.
[11:52.07]我要你給我送過來
[11:53.94]What about your spare pants?
[11:53.94]你的備用褲子呢?
[11:55.80]Last Thursday, the mustard incident.
[11:55.80]上周四的芥末事件
[11:57.73]Jeez,woman,you have the memory of a goldfish.
[11:57.73]天哪 你真是個(gè)金魚腦袋 (金魚的記憶只有3秒)
[11:59.72]No,Ted,you're not getting off that easy.
[11:59.72]不 Ted 你那事絕不會(huì)那么簡單
[12:02.65]Marshall's pants story, while amusing...
[12:02.65]Marshall的褲子糗事 還有點(diǎn)笑料...
[12:04.70]Amusing? Try very amusing.
[12:04.70]才有點(diǎn)笑料? 是笑爆掉吧
[12:07.38]Is nothing compared to this Karen madness. Finish your story.
[12:07.38]比起Karen的事 這根本不值一提 先把你的故事講完
[12:11.44]What? That's it. It was just one kiss in the restaurant.
[12:11.44]咋了? 就這些 只是在餐館里啵了下而已
[12:14.46]Why did you say "in the restaurant?"
[12:14.46]為啥特地指明"在餐館里"
[12:17.12]Did you kiss somewhere else?
[12:17.12]你們還在哪里啵了?
[12:18.98]Like where,in a tree?
[12:18.98]譬如說 在樹上?
[12:21.19]No,Lily,we did not make out in a tree.
[12:21.19]沒 Lily 我們可沒在樹上干
[12:23.97]What's with this one?
[12:23.97]這家伙咋了?
[12:26.20]Oh,Ted. What did you do?
[12:26.20]Ted 你做啥了?
[12:35.65]Ted,how could you?
[12:35.65]Ted 你咋能這樣?
[12:37.85]Ted,Marshall forgot to bring his pants to work today,
[12:37.85]Ted 即使Marshall今天忘帶褲子上班
[12:41.23]and you're still the stupidest person at this table.
[12:41.23]在我們幾個(gè)里 你仍舊最傻帽
[12:44.16]Okay,Lily,let's be honest.
[12:44.16]好吧 Lily 老實(shí)說
[12:46.46]We both know your real motivation here.
[12:46.46]我們都知道你的真正動(dòng)機(jī)
[12:48.51]You hate Karen because she lingered.
[12:48.51]你很Karen是因?yàn)樗鬟B忘返
[12:51.88]You son of a bitch.
[12:51.88]你這狗娘養(yǎng)的
[12:53.96]What do you mean she lingered?
[12:53.96]流連忘返是啥意思?
[12:55.33]February 5,1998. I was painting...
[12:55.33]1998年2月5日 我正在畫畫...
[13:02.13]Oh,sorry. I... Sorry. I...
[13:02.13]抱歉 我... 抱歉 我...
[13:10.71]You know,that color palette is a bit derivative of early Van Gogh, don't you think?
[13:10.71]你的調(diào)色板有梵高早期的風(fēng)范 你不覺得嗎?
[13:19.21]Cheat on Ted, criticize my painting, whatever,that's your business.
[13:19.21]背著Ted亂搞 批評(píng)我的畫 隨她咋樣都不關(guān)我鳥事
[13:23.32]But I catch you peeping on my man's junk and youlinger?
[13:23.32]但我看見你偷窺我男人的下三寸 還流連忘返?
[13:29.24]You gots to get got.
[13:29.24]真是活膩了
[13:31.87]The game is the game.
[13:31.87]別太較真
[13:34.79]In Karen's defense, I had just worked out.
[13:34.79]容我為Karen找個(gè)理由 那時(shí)候我剛鍛煉完身體
[13:38.29]Why'd you have to paint Marshall nude anyway?
[13:38.29]那你為啥要畫Marshall的裸體?
[13:40.21]Because he ate my bowl of fruit.
[13:40.21]因?yàn)樗怨饬宋业乃?br /> [13:42.61]Look,the point is, Karen is a dirty linger,
[13:42.61]聽著 重點(diǎn)是Karen色迷迷地流連忘返
[13:46.43]and you cannot bring her back into our lives.
[13:46.43]你不能再把她帶到我們的生活中來了
[13:49.03]Relax,it was just that one night!
[13:49.03]放心吧 就那晚而已!
[13:51.54]And the next three after that. And one morning.
[13:51.54]還有之后三晚外加一個(gè)早晨
[13:54.10]But at least I had pants on,Marshall.
[13:54.10]但至少我穿著褲子 Marshall
[13:57.39]Although,actually,I didn't.
[13:57.39]事實(shí)上 我沒穿
[13:58.88]Wait,this happened in our apartment?
[13:58.88]等下 你把她帶到我們公寓了?
[14:01.28]Where was I?
[14:01.28]當(dāng)時(shí)我在哪?
[14:02.22]You know those sleeping pills you're taking to keep on your crazy new schedule?
[14:02.22]那些幫你調(diào)整新生物鐘的安眠藥?
[14:05.96]I think they're stronger than you realize.
[14:05.96]我想它們的藥勁比你想的強(qiáng)多了
[14:14.91]LaFontaine gets the puck to Turgeon.
[14:14.91]拉方丹把球傳給特金
[14:17.51]Turgeon shoots. Glove save.
[14:17.51]特金射門 被守門員接住了
[14:22.27]Hey,Ted. Hey,Lily.
[14:22.27]嘿 Ted 嘿 Lily
[14:24.30]Don't worry. I won't tell Marshall.
[14:24.30]別擔(dān)心 我不會(huì)告訴Marshall的
[14:28.25]I'm gonna grab a beer. You want one?
[14:28.25]我要拿罐啤酒 你要不?
[14:34.84]Beer. I'll start decanting the Bordeaux.
[14:34.84]啤酒 我剛想倒葡萄酒來著
[14:45.08]Ted,sure it's fun to look back at a time when you were a fresh-faced farm girl with a virgin's glow.
[14:45.08]Ted 回想過去確實(shí)很有趣 那時(shí)你是個(gè)散發(fā)處女味稚嫩農(nóng)場妞
[14:51.49]But all that stuff-- Ohio,Karen,college-- all that was BS.
[14:51.49]但那些東西--俄亥俄州 Karen 大學(xué) 發(fā)生在BS
[14:56.63]"Before Stinson."
[14:56.63]"Stinson出現(xiàn)前"
[14:58.57]Now your life is awesome!
[14:58.57]但現(xiàn)在你生活得豐富多彩!
[15:00.54]I mean,yeah,you still live with your ex-girlfriend, which is ridiculous.
[15:00.54]我是說 你還和 前女友住在一起 真荒唐
[15:04.77]Your laser tag chops are almost nonexistent.
[15:04.77]你的光劍(星球大戰(zhàn)中的武器) 虛無縹緲
[15:07.63]And your wardrobe, it's like,what, are you allergic to quality fabrics?
[15:07.63]看看你的衣櫥 難道你還對(duì)優(yōu)質(zhì)面料過敏?
[15:13.11]Seriously,Ted,shape up.
[15:13.11]說真的 Ted 好自為之
[15:16.60]What were we talking about?
[15:16.60]我們說啥來著?
[15:19.05]So what's next with this broad?
[15:19.05]這女人接下來咋了?
[15:20.71]Oh,please, the story's already written.
[15:20.71]拜托 故事已經(jīng)完了
[15:23.21]Ted is Charlie Brown trying to kick the football and Karen's Lucy,
[15:23.21]Ted是想方設(shè)法踢球的 Charlie Brown 而Karen是Lucy
[15:27.23]who pulls it away at the last second and has sex with it.
[15:27.23]在最后關(guān)頭搶走了球 和它做愛
[15:31.68]You guys know what I mean.
[15:31.68]你們知道我的意思
[15:33.17]Ted's gonna fall in love, and then Karen's gonna cheat on him with some meathead, who's like...
[15:33.17]Ted將會(huì)陷入愛河 而Karen 會(huì)背著他和那些只會(huì)說
[15:38.70]"Sorry,bro."
[15:38.70]"抱歉 伙計(jì)"的傻帽亂搞
[15:41.52]Wrong,wrong,wrong!
[15:41.52]錯(cuò) 錯(cuò) 錯(cuò)!
[15:43.66]You must have left the right answer in your pants, Marshall,
[15:43.66]你把正確答案忘在你褲子里了吧 Marshall
[15:45.52]because that's exactly what didn't happen.
[15:45.52]因?yàn)槭虑榻^非如此
[15:47.68]Because here's what happened.
[15:47.68]事情是這樣的
[15:49.38]One afternoon, we were at Karen's place...
[15:49.38]一天下午 我們在Karen的住所...
[15:52.47]Karen? Oh,my God.
[15:52.47]Karen? 我的天
[15:56.05]How could you?
[15:56.05]你咋能這樣?
[16:00.95]Sorry,bro.
[16:00.95]抱歉 伙計(jì)
[16:07.09]So this time, the meathead Karen was cheating with
[16:07.09]所以這次 和Karen亂搞的傻帽
[16:09.52]was me,Ted. Me, Ted.
[16:09.52]是我 Ted 我 Ted
[16:14.19]Remember that time Marshall forgot his pants?
[16:14.19]記得Marshall忘帶褲子嗎?
[16:16.20]Damn it,Ted!
[16:16.20]媽的 Ted!
[16:17.33]You quit trying to change the subject. You crossed the line.
[16:17.33]別再轉(zhuǎn)變話題 你太過分了
[16:20.48]You are complicit in breaking some poor guy's heart.
[16:20.48]你們合伙傷害了那可憐人的心
[16:23.85]And you, you of all people know exactly how that feels.
[16:23.85]而你 是所有人里最明白其中滋味的
[16:29.21]- You really don't want to tell the pants story,do you? - What?
[16:29.21]- 你真的不想說褲子糗事 對(duì)不? - 啥?
[16:31.42]Pants,pants,pants,pants,pants, pants,pants, pants,pants,p-p...
[16:31.42]褲子 褲子 褲子 褲...
[16:34.38]Fine! Okay?
[16:34.38]好吧! 好
[16:36.22]So,Lily came down to the office to bring me my pants...
[16:36.22]然后 Lily來辦公室?guī)臀宜脱澴?.
[16:39.49]And why did she have to do that?
[16:39.49]那她為啥要這么做?
[16:40.46]Because I forgot my pants.
[16:40.46]因?yàn)槲彝鼛а澴恿?br /> [16:44.20]Lily,what are you doing here?
[16:44.20]Lily 你在這干嗎?
[16:45.89]Oh,I'm here to give Marshall something.
[16:45.89]我來給Marshal送點(diǎn)東西
[16:48.82]Here togivehim something. Gotcha. Nice.
[16:48.82]來這給他送點(diǎn)東西 明白 很好
[16:52.40]Yeah,but I-I'm in a hurry. Can I just give it to you?
[16:52.40]嗯 但我趕時(shí)間 給你成嗎?
[16:57.79]Sure,okay.
[16:57.79]成啊 好吧
[17:00.08]A - And then you'll give it to him?
[17:00.08]然后你轉(zhuǎn)交給他?
[17:02.59]Wait,oh,hey. I don't know about all that.
[17:02.59]等下 嘿 我不太明白
[17:05.49]I mean,yours would have to be really good.
[17:05.49]我是說 你得很厲害才行
[17:09.34]- What are you talking about? - What are you talking about?
[17:09.34]- 你在說啥呢? - 你在說啥?
[17:11.90]M - Marshall forgot his pants, so I'm bringing him a new pair.
[17:11.90]Marshall忘帶褲子了 我給他送來一條
[17:17.52]Marshall forgot his pants.
[17:17.52]Marshall忘帶褲子了
[17:19.15]Well,it's a good thing that you came by because he has a really important meeting today,
[17:19.15]你過來得真是時(shí)候 他今天有個(gè)重要會(huì)議要開
[17:24.13]and it would be pretty embarrassing and not at all funny
[17:24.13]要是他不穿褲子開會(huì)
[17:28.07]if he were to show up not wearing pants.
[17:28.07]就不是鬧笑話的問題了 簡直會(huì)顏面掃地
[17:30.85]- So I'll make sure he gets these. - Great. Thanks,Barney.
[17:30.85]- 我保證送到他手里 - 太好了 謝謝 Barney
[17:36.42]And you didn't give him his pants.
[17:36.42]但你沒給他褲子
[17:38.45]Theodore Evelyn Mosby.
[17:38.45]Theodore Evelyn Mosby
[17:40.63]Of course I gave him his pants. I gave Lily my word. My word is oak.
[17:40.63]我當(dāng)然給他褲子啦 我向Lily保證過的 一諾千金
[17:45.82]Though I did make some alterations.
[17:45.82]只是我把褲子做了些改進(jìn)
[17:55.11]Now,as you'll see on page 44 of the contract...
[17:55.11]現(xiàn)在 看合同第44頁...
[17:58.02]Uh,hey,Eriksen, when did you join AC/DC?
[17:58.02]嘿 Eriksen 你加入AC/DC了? (澳大利亞最著名的搖滾樂隊(duì))
[18:04.91]Now,can we please just turn to page 44 of the contract.
[18:04.91]現(xiàn)在 翻到合同第44頁
[18:07.68]Hey,Eriksen, I think theOliver Twist auditions are down the hall!
[18:07.68]嘿 Eriksen 我想霧都孤兒的面試是在樓下吧!
[18:14.59]Hey,Eriksen, please,sir,may I have some more... pants?
[18:14.59]嘿 Eriksen 先生 能給我些褲子嗎?
[18:27.43]More pan...
[18:27.43]再來點(diǎn)褲子...
[18:35.48]That's it? That's the whole story?
[18:35.48]就這些? 整個(gè)故事就這些?
[18:37.79]So what happened with Karen?
[18:37.79]Karen后來咋樣了?
[18:39.02]I'll finish it for you.
[18:39.02]我來為你繼續(xù)
[18:40.59]Ted left without saying anything and Karen got exactly what she wanted.
[18:40.59]Ted無言地離去 而Karen再次得到自己想要的
[18:46.52]Not this time.
[18:46.52]這次不是
[18:47.90]So you have a boyfriend?
[18:47.90]你有男友了?
[18:50.36]We've been drifting apart for a long time.
[18:50.36]我們分居一段時(shí)間了
[18:52.05]I've been meaning to break up with him.
[18:52.05]我正想和他分手
[18:53.90]God,Karen, you are unbelievable.
[18:53.90]天哪 Karen 你太難以置信了
[18:56.56]You don't have the guts to break up with someone like a decent human being,
[18:56.56]你沒勇氣和這種正點(diǎn)的家伙分手的
[18:59.62]so instead you pull this crap.
[18:59.62]所以別廢話了
[19:03.42]Okay,you're right.
[19:03.42]好吧 你說對(duì)了
[19:06.52]I'm great with books. I'm great with art.
[19:06.52]我飽覽群書 深究藝術(shù)
[19:11.24]I'm great with identifying French wines from within a mile of where the grapes are grown. But...
[19:11.24]我能鑒別法國紅酒的葡萄生產(chǎn)地 并且差距小于一英里 但...
[19:16.92]I'm really bad when it comes to looking someone in the eye and telling them the truth about how I feel.
[19:16.92]但我并不擅長直視 別人的眼睛 說出真實(shí)想法
[19:22.25]Well,we're both bad at that. But...
[19:22.25]我們都不擅長這個(gè) 但...
[19:25.64]I think we both need to change. So,um,why don't I go first? Karen...
[19:25.64]我想我們得做些改變 我先來吧 Karen
[19:30.74]you're a really hurtful and reckless person, and I never want to see you or speak to you again.
[19:30.74]你真是個(gè)狠心的人 我再也不要看見你 再也不要和你說話了
[19:37.53]Au revoir.
[19:37.53]再見
[19:39.48]Ted,wait.
[19:39.48]Ted 等等
[19:44.63]Actually,"au revoir"means "until we see each other again."
[19:44.63]其實(shí) "再見"的意思是"再次相見"
[19:49.62]So,I'm assuming that you mean we will in fact see each other again?
[19:49.62]我想你是說我們還會(huì)再見面?
[19:57.98]Sorry,bro.
[19:57.98]抱歉 伙計(jì)
[20:02.35]- Yes. - Thank you. Thank you.
[20:02.35]- 真好 - 謝謝 謝謝
[20:03.90]- Bravo. - Ted,I am impressed with you.
[20:03.90]- 好極了 - Ted 你真牛
[20:06.05]You,too,Marshall. Have you been wearing those all day?
[20:06.05]你也是 Marshall 你整天都穿著這個(gè)?
[20:08.91]They show off my calves.
[20:08.91]炫耀我的小腿唄
[20:11.39]Pants story. Tell it again.
[20:11.39]褲子糗事 再說遍
[20:14.49]You know,maybe it was good you called Karen.
[20:14.49]或許你給Karen打電話是好事
[20:17.81]It definitely was. And not just for me, but for her,too.
[20:17.81]絕對(duì)是 不僅對(duì)我 也對(duì)她有好處
[20:20.75]Later that night, she sat down with Jerry, and she had the break-up talk she always avoided with me.
[20:20.75]那天晚上后來 她向Jerry提出分手 這可是以前她一直沒有對(duì)我做到的
[20:25.89]So you see,kids, sometimes when you have to have a tough conversation, the best thing to do...
[20:25.89]你們明白了吧 孩兒們 當(dāng)你難以啟齒時(shí) 最好...
[20:31.09]Wait a second. Wait a second.
[20:31.09]等下 等下
[20:34.59]You said you were never gonna talk to Karen again,right?
[20:34.59]你說永遠(yuǎn)不要和Karen說話了 對(duì)不?
[20:37.77]Yeah.
[20:37.77]嗯
[20:39.05]Then how do you know she took your advice?
[20:39.05]那你咋知道她聽取了你的意見
[20:43.03]Oh,right. Well,about that...
[20:43.03]對(duì) 關(guān)于這...
[20:46.21]After she broke up with that dude,she called me, we went out,
[20:46.21]她和那哥們分手后 她打我電話
[20:48.63]we hooked up,and we've been dating ever since.
[20:48.63]我們看對(duì)眼了 然后又開始約會(huì)
[20:50.09]We're really seeing eye to eye, and this time, I don't know,it just feels different somehow.
[20:50.09]我們直視對(duì)方 這次不知咋的 貌似感覺與眾不同
[20:52.50]Here she comes now. Be cool!
[20:52.50]她來了 冷靜點(diǎn)!