5名哈佛新生談“我為什么被錄取”

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Two freshman friends sat across from each other in a common room, comparing notes on how exactly they got into Harvard. In some ways, their situations were opposites: One was a “double legacy,” with two parents who had themselves received Harvard degrees. The other was the son of a police officer and was on full financial aid.

馬薩諸塞州坎布里奇——兩個(gè)交上了朋友的新生面對(duì)面地坐在公共休息室里，交流著他們是如何進(jìn)入哈佛就讀的經(jīng)驗(yàn)。從某些方面來看，他們的情況截然相反：一人是“雙校友子女”，父母都獲得過哈佛學(xué)位。另一方是警察的兒子，完全靠助學(xué)金。

The legacy student, Iman Lavery, remembered feeling self-conscious during a conversation when she first arrived at school: A classmate had contrasted people who were “super qualified to be here” with legacies. For her friend on financial aid, Joseph Felkers, it had been the frequent questions from new acquaintances of “What’s your thing?” — why did you get in? — that set him on edge, making him wonder if his “thing” was his passion for poetry, or simply that he was poor.

身為校友子女的伊曼·萊弗里(Iman Lavery)記得她剛來學(xué)校時(shí)，有一次跟人談話時(shí)感到難為情的事情：一位同學(xué)把那些“超級(jí)有資格來這里”的人和校友子女拿來做了一番對(duì)比。對(duì)她靠助學(xué)金來哈佛的朋友約瑟夫·費(fèi)爾克斯(Joseph Felkers)來說，新認(rèn)識(shí)的人總是會(huì)問自己“你的優(yōu)勢是什么?”——你怎么進(jìn)來的?——這會(huì)讓他感到坐立不安，開始問自己他的“優(yōu)勢”是對(duì)詩歌的熱愛，還是只是因?yàn)樗歉F人。

For many freshmen at Harvard, who have started school as a lawsuit challenging the university’s use of affirmative action in admissions plays out in court, the case has been personal. It has sharpened the usual freshman-year doubts about how they ended up among the less than five percent of applicants chosen from a pool of 42,749. And it has forced uncomfortable questions about what circumstances beyond their control — like race, wealth, or legacy status — got them or their classmates here.

哈佛開學(xué)的同時(shí)，一起挑戰(zhàn)該校在招生過程中使用平權(quán)措施的訴訟案正在法庭里展開，對(duì)許多新生來說，這起案子從頭到尾都與他們直接相關(guān)。通常新生第一年都會(huì)對(duì)自己產(chǎn)生懷疑：我是怎么作為前5%，被學(xué)校從42749人當(dāng)中選出來的。這起案子使這樣的懷疑變得更明確了。該案也讓人們開始對(duì)那些不在他們控制范圍內(nèi)，使他們或同學(xué)得以來到這里就讀的條件產(chǎn)生令人不舒服的質(zhì)疑，例如種族、財(cái)富，或是校友子女身份。

Both Ms. Lavery and Mr. Felkers said that the case wasn’t talked about much among freshmen, though they said they had discussed it here and there, at dinner or between classes. Mr. Felkers described it as “kind of an elephant in the room.”

萊弗里和費(fèi)爾克斯都表示，新生們對(duì)這起案子的談?wù)摬欢啵M管他們說自己在吃飯或課間，不時(shí)會(huì)和人討論這件事。費(fèi)爾克斯說這件事“被人刻意回避了”。

But late on a recent weeknight, the two sat down with Ms. Lavery’s three roommates — Nadine Lee, Lauren Marshall, and Charlotte Ruhl — to talk about the case and how it had made them reflect on their admission to Harvard and their experience of Harvard so far.

但近期一個(gè)工作日的深夜，兩人和萊弗里的三名室友—— 娜丁·李(Nadine Lee)、勞倫·馬歇爾(Lauren Marshall)和夏洛特·魯爾(Charlotte Ruhl)——坐了下來，探討這個(gè)案子、它是如何讓他們開始反思自己被哈佛錄取過程的，以及他們迄今為止在哈佛的感受。

The room was decorated with botanical prints and a poster of a landscape by the Japanese artist Hiroshige. Mr. Felkers, who wore wire-rimmed glasses and his hair in an undercut, perched on a white couch next to Ms. Marshall and Ms. Ruhl, who tucked their bare feet under them. Ms. Lavery and Ms. Lee, both in leggings and sneakers, sat across from them on a chair and a storage bench. As they talked, the students, all 18 years old, passed around a package of “Double Stuf” Oreos that Ms. Ruhl’s mother had sent.

公共休息室里裝飾著植物版畫，還掛著日本藝術(shù)家歌川廣重的風(fēng)景作品。費(fèi)爾克斯帶著金屬邊眼鏡，頭發(fā)剪得很短，靠坐在沙發(fā)扶手上，旁邊是盤腿坐著的馬歇爾和魯爾。萊弗里和李都穿著緊身褲和球鞋，坐在他們對(duì)面的一張椅子和儲(chǔ)物長凳上。相互交流時(shí)，這些年齡都在18歲的學(xué)生互相傳著魯爾媽媽寄來的一包奧利奧雙面夾心餅干。

The plaintiffs in the case have accused Harvard of discriminating against Asian-Americans by holding them to a higher standard than any other racial group. Defending itself, Harvard has been forced to reveal aspects of its admissions process that it kept closely held in the past, and some elements, like special treatment given to students whose relatives made major gifts to the university, have been jarring.

該案原告指控哈佛以比其他種族更高的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)評(píng)判亞裔美國人，因此對(duì)他們構(gòu)成了歧視。為自己做出辯護(hù)的哈佛被迫公開了招生程序的幾個(gè)方面，過去這些都是嚴(yán)格保密的信息。此外，被公開的還有其他一些令人不快的因素，像是給予那些親戚對(duì)該校慷慨解囊的學(xué)生的特殊對(duì)待。

Two of Ms. Lavery’s roommates — Ms. Lee, who is Korean-American, and Ms. Marshall, who has a Chinese mother and a British father — said they thought that Harvard’s admissions process was biased against Asian-Americans.

萊弗里的兩個(gè)室友——韓裔美國人李和媽媽是華人、父親是英國人的馬歇爾——表示，他們認(rèn)為哈佛的入學(xué)程序?qū)喴崦绹擞衅姟?/p>

Ms. Lee, who grew up in Englewood, N.J. Seoul and Marin County, Calif., said she had long assumed that she would face discrimination in applying to college, partly because she had watched Asian friends with excellent grades and scores be rejected by their desired schools. She said that she had thought a lot about how to stand out from other Asian-American applicants. Ultimately, she applied to join the United States Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps. In her applications she emphasized her enthusiasm for the military and her ambition to be a trauma surgeon.

在新澤西州恩格爾伍德、首爾和加利福尼亞州馬林縣長大的李表示，她一直認(rèn)為自己在申請大學(xué)時(shí)會(huì)遭到歧視，部分原因是因?yàn)樗吹揭恍┏煽儍?yōu)異的亞裔朋友被他們理想中的學(xué)校拒絕。她說，她考慮過如何從其他亞裔申請人中脫穎而出。最終，她申請加入美國空軍預(yù)備役軍官訓(xùn)練團(tuán)(United States Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps)。在申請中，她強(qiáng)調(diào)自己對(duì)軍隊(duì)的熱情以及成為創(chuàng)傷外科醫(yī)生的雄心。

“I knew that I didn’t — whatever this means — I didn’t want to be the typical Asian,” she said.

“我知道我不想——無論這意味著什么——我不想做典型的亞洲人，”她說。

Ms. Marshall, who wore dark eyeliner and had a swirl of bleached hair, is an accomplished composer from just north of London. She said she had not felt as though she was competing against other students of Asian backgrounds to get into Harvard because her strengths were creative rather than strictly academic.

來自北倫敦的馬歇爾是一位有成就的作曲家，她畫著深色眼線，一縷頭發(fā)漂成了白色。她說，她并沒有感覺到，為了進(jìn)入哈佛，她與其他具有亞洲背景的學(xué)生進(jìn)行競爭，因?yàn)樗膬?yōu)勢是創(chuàng)造力而非嚴(yán)格的學(xué)術(shù)性。

She said that what she had read about the lawsuit, particularly the fact that Asian-American applicants were rated lower on personality traits than applicants of other backgrounds, convinced her that some admissions officers probably were prejudiced against Asian-Americans.

她說，自己從這起訴訟中了解到的，特別是亞裔申請人的性格評(píng)分低于其他背景申請人這一事實(shí)，使她確信一些招生人員可能對(duì)亞裔美國人有偏見。

“That’s just racist,” she said of the personal ratings. (Harvard’s dean of admissions and financial aid, William R. Fitzsimmons, suggested in testimony in court that high school teachers and guidance counselors were partly to blame, saying that recommendations for white students were stronger than those for Asian-American students.)

“這就是種族主義，”她說起這個(gè)個(gè)人評(píng)級(jí)系統(tǒng)。(哈佛大學(xué)的招生和經(jīng)濟(jì)援助主任威廉·R·菲茨西蒙斯[William R. Fitzsimmons]在法庭作證時(shí)表示，高中教師和輔導(dǎo)員也應(yīng)承擔(dān)部分責(zé)任，并說白人學(xué)生的推薦信要比亞裔學(xué)生更有力。)

Still, while she wanted Harvard to address that, she said she also opposed the plaintiffs’ effort to end affirmative action in the school’s admissions.

雖然她希望哈佛能夠解決這個(gè)問題，但她表示，她也反對(duì)原告終止該校招生平權(quán)行動(dòng)的努力。

While the lawsuit directly accuses Harvard of discriminating against Asian-Americans, it also has shed light on an array of advantages that some applicants receive; legacies, for instance, who are admitted at five times the rate of non-legacy students, recruited athletes, and those whose relatives have made major donations.

雖然該訴訟直接指控的是哈佛歧視亞裔美國人，但它也揭示了一些申請人獲得的一系列優(yōu)勢;例如，校友子女的入學(xué)率是非校友子女學(xué)生、體育特長生以及親屬進(jìn)行巨額捐贈(zèng)者入學(xué)率的五倍。

From reading online forums where students compared their application profiles and discussed one another’s chance of getting in to different schools, Mr. Felkers had gleaned that his potential “hooks,” or advantages, were that he was from the Midwest, and that his parents were low-income.

通過在線論壇，學(xué)生們比較了他們的申請資料，并討論彼此進(jìn)入不同學(xué)校的機(jī)會(huì)，費(fèi)爾克斯總結(jié)到，他潛在的“賣點(diǎn)”或優(yōu)勢是：他來自中西部，父母是低收入人群。

Mr. Felkers, who is from outside Grand Rapids, Mich., said he was grateful for any boost to his chances, but that he also felt ashamed. After he was admitted to Harvard, he said he heard that an acquaintance from a rival high school, who had been rejected from some elite colleges, had told a mutual friend, “‘Oh, Joseph got in because he’s on free and reduced lunch.’”

來自密歇根州大急流城外的費(fèi)爾克斯說，他對(duì)自己得到的機(jī)會(huì)和便宜都感激不盡，但他也感到慚愧。他說，自己被哈佛大學(xué)錄取后，聽說來自競爭對(duì)手高中的一位熟人被一些精英大學(xué)拒絕后告訴兩人共同的朋友，“哦，約瑟夫被錄取是因?yàn)樗谙碛妹赓M(fèi)和減價(jià)午餐。”

“It’s like a punch to the stomach,” Mr. Felkers said. “Of course it’s going to make you feel insecure.”

“這就像對(duì)我的肚子打了一拳，”費(fèi)爾克斯說。“當(dāng)然，這會(huì)讓你失去信心。”

At Harvard, he said, his family’s poverty was often on his mind, especially when topics came up like what people’s parents did for a living or where they went to college. He said he frequently found himself internally debating how much to reveal.

他說，在哈佛，他經(jīng)常想起自己貧困的家庭，特別是當(dāng)大家談到父母的職業(yè)或在什么地方上大學(xué)這些話題的時(shí)候。他說，自己經(jīng)常在心里掙扎，到底要透露多少東西。

“In a situation like this, we’re all just sitting around eating Oreos — I’m comfortable talking about my aid status,” he said.

“在這樣的情況下，我們就是坐在這兒吃餅干——我就可以很自在地談?wù)撐业脑鸂顩r，”他說。

“But if I’m, you know, on a Friday night, trying to get into a party thrown by, like, the heavyweight rowers, I’m not going to say, ‘Oh, by the way, I’m on full aid.’”

“但是，你知道，如果是周五的一個(gè)晚上，我想?yún)⒓右粋€(gè)由重量級(jí)劃艇選手舉辦的派對(duì)，我就不會(huì)說，‘哦，順便說一句，我正在接受全援助。’”

For Ms. Lavery, who is from Seattle, the discomfort has lingered since the conversation — during an August pre-orientation program — in which a classmate had casually suggested that most legacies were not qualified to be at Harvard. After that, she said she spent a lot of time thinking about whether to reveal that she was a legacy to friends that she was making in the program, some of whom came from low-income backgrounds.

西雅圖的萊弗里在8月份參加了預(yù)定培訓(xùn)課程，一位同學(xué)在聊天時(shí)隨口說起，大多數(shù)校友子女都不具備上哈佛的資格，從那以后，不舒服的感覺就在她心里縈繞不去。她說，在那之后，她花了很長時(shí)間思考，是否要向在那個(gè)課程里認(rèn)識(shí)的朋友們(其中一些人來自低收入家庭)透露，她就是校友子女。

“I was conscious of, ‘How am I going to tell that to them? Is it going to be a big deal when I tell them that? Is it going to change the way they think of me?’”

“我在想，‘我要怎么告訴他們?如果告訴他們，會(huì)掀起軒然大波嗎?會(huì)改變他們對(duì)我的看法嗎?'”

“At the same time I almost feel guilty saying that,” she quickly added, “because being a legacy affords me a privilege.”

“與此同時(shí)，我?guī)缀醺械絻?nèi)疚，”她很快補(bǔ)充說，“因?yàn)樯頌樾Ｓ炎优疄槲姨峁┝颂貦?quán)。”

Ms. Lavery’s maternal grandmother immigrated from Mexico and her maternal grandfather from India, so, she checked three boxes on her application, indicating that she was Hispanic, white and Asian. She said she knew that her racial and ethnic background could have played a role in her admission, as well.

萊弗里的外祖母是墨西哥移民，外祖父來自印度，因此，她在申請時(shí)勾選了三欄，表明她是西班牙裔、白人和亞裔。她說，她知道自己的種族和民族背景也可以在入學(xué)過程中發(fā)揮作用。

“A lot of my thinking after I got in,” she said, “was like, ‘O.K., well, I know that these were factors, but I know that I’m qualified to go to this school,’ and so it’s kind of a balancing act.”

“我入學(xué)之后想了很多，”她說，“像是‘好吧，我知道這些都是有利因素，但我知道我有資格進(jìn)這所學(xué)校’，所以這是一種平衡的想法。”

Ms. Ruhl, who is white and graduated from Stuyvesant High School in New York City — where efforts to diversify the student body have left some Asian-Americans fearing that they will be excluded — was the one student in the room who said she had no idea what about her had won her admission.

魯爾是白人，畢業(yè)于紐約市史岱文森高中(Stuyvesant High School) ——該校令學(xué)生群體多樣化的努力讓一些亞裔美國人擔(dān)心自己會(huì)被排除在外——在參與這次談話的學(xué)生中，她是唯一一個(gè)不清楚自己到底是為什么獲得入學(xué)資格的人。

Earlier in the week, she put in a request to see her own admissions file. Harvard has officially permitted students to see their admissions files since 2015, after a group of Stanford students successfully used a federal education law to gain access to their records. A Harvard spokeswoman said that the university had received roughly 200 such requests per month this fall.

本周早些時(shí)候，她提出要求查看自己的錄取文件。自從斯坦福大學(xué)的一群學(xué)生成功利用聯(lián)邦教育法獲取入學(xué)記錄后，哈佛大學(xué)自2015年以來，已經(jīng)正式允許學(xué)生查看自己的入學(xué)檔案。一位哈佛大學(xué)發(fā)言人表示，該校今年秋季每月收到大約200個(gè)此類請求。

In a moment when many people here are examining what has won some people admission over others, the chance to see one’s own file — complete with notes from admissions officers — can be tantalizing, though some students have said that they found the records cryptic.

現(xiàn)在，很多人正在研究到底是什么讓一些人擊敗其他人獲得入學(xué)資格，在這樣一個(gè)時(shí)候，有機(jī)會(huì)看到自己的檔案——再加上招生官員的批注——可能顯得很誘人，盡管有些學(xué)生說他們發(fā)現(xiàn)這些記錄是含糊不清的。

Ms. Ruhl said she was simply curious. “This whole admissions process is such a mystery,” she said.

魯爾說她只是好奇。“整個(gè)錄取過程都是如此神秘，”她說。