我不想在30歲就死去

羅曼·羅蘭曾說(shuō)：

"Most men die at twenty or thirty;

“很多人在20歲、30歲的時(shí)候就死了，

thereafter they are only reflections of themselves，

一過(guò)這個(gè)年齡，他們只不過(guò)變成了自己的影子

for the rest of their lives they are aping themselves,

此后的余生不過(guò)在模仿自己中度過(guò)，

repeating from day to day more and more mechanically and affectedly what they said and did and thought and loved when they were alive."

日復(fù)一日，更機(jī)械，更裝腔作勢(shì)地重復(fù)他們有生之年的所作所為、所思所想、所愛(ài)所恨。”

Recently, I suddenly realized that this quote is talking about me.

最近，我忽然發(fā)現(xiàn)這則引言說(shuō)的就是我。

I chose a stable job back as a civil servant in my hometown under my parents' advice after I graduated from college.

大學(xué)畢業(yè)之后，我聽(tīng)從父母的建議，在家鄉(xiāng)找了一個(gè)穩(wěn)定的公務(wù)員工作。

The job is easy. And my workload is quite small.

工作很輕松，工作量也很小。

So I have plenty of time of my own to spend.

所以我有充足的時(shí)間可以自由支配。

I bought my car and my house and went on dates which are arranged by my parents.

我買好了車和房子，并根據(jù)父母的安排去約會(huì)。

Everything goes well in my life.

生活中的一切都很順利。

But, last month I went to a classmates reunion. And it crashed my heart.

但是，上個(gè)月我去了一個(gè)同學(xué)聚會(huì)。而我的心徹底被打碎了。

When we were having the meal. Some of my classmates talked about their interesting jobs and interesting challenges in Internet companies. Some of them were talking about strategies in investing in fund and stocks. Some of them were talking about all the new skills they have been learning, which I hadn't even heard of.

宴席上，有些同學(xué)在談他們?cè)诨ヂ?lián)網(wǎng)公司那些有趣的工作、有趣的挑戰(zhàn)，有些談起他們?cè)诨鸷凸善鄙系耐顿Y策略，有些則在談他們?cè)趯W(xué)的一些新技能，而這些技能我聽(tīng)都沒(méi)聽(tīng)過(guò)。

But I? All I could talk about was that my wife just got pregnant.

而我呢?我能說(shuō)的只是我太太前不久懷孕了。

And now it seems like my child is about to take the same boring path that I have taken.

現(xiàn)在看來(lái)，似乎我的孩子也要走上我走過(guò)的這條無(wú)聊道路。

Is this the life that I want?

這真的是我想要的生活嗎?

Is this even life?

這真的是生活嗎?

This suddenly becomes so horrible to me. I can't live like this.

我突然覺(jué)得這無(wú)比可怕。我不能這樣生活下去。

And that's why I started to search for a new job. I don't want to die when I am thirty.

而這，也就是我重新開(kāi)始找工作的原因。我不想在30歲就死去。

Life is only worth living when there are things to explore.

生活，只有在還有新事物可以探索的時(shí)候，才值得活下去。