Michael got himself demobbed the moment the war was finished and stepped straight into a part. He returned to the stage a much better actor than he left it. The breeziness he had acquired in the army was effective. He was a well set-up, normal, high-spirited fellow, with a ready smile and a hearty laugh. He was well-suited to drawing-room comedy. His light voice gave a peculiar effect to a flippant line, and though he never managed to make love convincingly he could carry off a chaffing love scene, making a proposal as if it were rather a joke, or a declaration as though he were laughing at himself, in a manner that the audience found engaging. He never attempted to play anyone but himself. He specialized in men about town, gentlemanly gamblers, guardsmen and young scamps with a good side to them. Managers liked him. He worked hard and was amenable to direction. So long as he could get work he didn't mind much what sort of part it was. He stuck out for the salary he thought he was worth, but if he couldn't get it was prepared to take less rather than be idle.
He was making his plans carefully. During the winter that followed the end of the war there was an epidemic of influenza. His father and mother died. He inherited nearly four thousand pounds, and this with his own savings and Julia's brought up their joint capital to seven thousand. But the rent of theatres had gone up enormously, the salaries of actors and the wages of stage-hands had increased, so that the expense of running a theatre was very much greater than it had been before the war. A sum that would then have been amply sufficient to start management on was now inadequate. The only thing was to find some rich man to go in with them so that a failure or two to begin with would not drive them from the field. It was said that you could always find a mug in the city to write a fat cheque for the production of a play, but when you came down to business you discovered that the main condition was that the leading part should be played by some pretty lady in whom he was interested. Years before, Michael and Julia had often joked about the rich old woman who would fall in love with him and set him up in management. He had long since learnt that no rich old woman was to be found to set up in management a young actor whose wife was an actress to whom he was perfectly faithful. In the end the money was found by a rich woman, and not an old one either, but who was interested not in him but in Julia.
Mrs. de Vries was a widow. She was a short stout woman with a fine Jewish nose and fine Jewish eyes, a great deal of energy, a manner at once effusiveand timid, and a somewhat virile air. She had a passion for the stage. When Julia and Michael had decided to try their luck in London Jimmie Langton, to whose rescue she had sometimes come when it looked as though he would be forced to close his repertory theatre, had written to her asking her to do what she could for them. She had seen Julia act in Middlepool. She gave parties so that the young actors might get to know managers, and asked them to stay at her grand house near Guildford, where they enjoyed a luxury they had never dreamt of. She did not much like Michael. Julia accepted the flowers with which Dolly de Vries filled her flat and her dressing-room, she was properly delighted with the presents she gave her, bags, vanity cases, strings of beads in semiprecious stones, brooches; but appeared to be unconscious that Dolly's generosity was due to anything but admiration for her talent. When Michael went away to the war Dolly pressed her to come and live in her house in Montagu Square, but Julia, with protestations of extravagant gratitude, refused in such a way that Dolly, with a sigh and a tear, could only admire her the more. When Roger was born Julia asked her to be his godmother.
For some time Michael had been turning over in his mind the possibility that Dolly de Vries might put up the money they needed, but he was shrewd enough to know that while she might do it for Julia she would not do it for him. Julia refused to approach her.
“She's already been so kind to us I really couldn't ask her, and it would be so humiliating if she refused.”
“It's a good gamble, and even if she lost the money she wouldn't feel it. I'm quite sure you could get round her if you tried.”
Julia was pretty sure she could too. Michael was very simpleminded in some ways; she did not feel called upon to point out to him the obvious facts.
But he was not a man who let a thing drop when he had set his mind to it. They were going to Guildford to spend the weekend with Dolly, and were driving down after the Saturday night's performance in the new car that Julia had given Michael for his birthday. It was a warm beautiful night. Michael had bought options, though it wrung his heart to write the cheques, on three plays that they both liked, and he had heard of a theatre that they could get on reasonable terms. Everything was ready for the venture except the capital. He urged Julia to seize the opportunity that the weekend presented.
“Ask her yourself then,” said Julia impatiently. “I tell you, I'm not going to.”
“She wouldn't do it for me. You can twist her round your little finger.”
“We know a thing or two about financing plays now. People finance plays for two reasons, either because they want notoriety, or because they're in love with someone. A lot of people talk about art, but you don't often find them paying out hard cash unless they're going to get something out of it for themselves.”
“Well, we'll give Dolly all the notoriety she wants.”
“That doesn't happen to be what she's after.”
“What do you mean?”
“Can't you guess?”
Light dawned on him, and he was so surprised that he slowed down. Was it possible that what Julia suspected was true? He had never even thought that Dolly liked him much, and as for supposing she was in love with him—why, the notion had never crossed his mind. Of course Julia had sharp eyes, not much got by her, but she was a jealous little thing, she was always thinking women were making a dead set at him. It was true that Dolly had given him a pair of cuff links at Christmas, but he thought that was only so that he shouldn't feel left out in the cold because she had given Julia a brooch that much have cost at least two hundred pounds. That might be only her cunning. Well, he could honestly say he'd never done a thing to make her think there was anything doing. Julia giggled.
“No, darling, it's not you she's in love with.”
It was disconcerting the way Julia knew what he was thinking. You couldn't hide a thing from that woman.
“Then why did you put the idea into my head? I wish to goodness you'd express yourself so that a fellow can understand.”
Julia did.
“I never heard such nonsense,” he cried. “What a filthy mind you've got, Julia!”
“Come off it, dear.”
“I don't believe there's a word of truth in it. After all I've got eyes in my head. Do you mean to say I shouldn't have noticed it?” He was more irritable than she had ever known him. “And even if it were true I suppose you can take care of yourself. It's a chance in a thousand, and I think it would be madness not to take it.”
“Claudio and Isabella in Measure for Measure.”
“That's a rotten thing to say, Julia. God damn it, I am a gentleman.”
“‘Nemo me impune lacessit.’”
They drove the rest of the journey in stormy silence. Mrs. de Vries was waiting up for them.
“I didn't want to go to bed till I'd seen you,” she said as she folded Julia in her arms and kissed her on both cheeks. She gave Michael a brisk handshake.
Julia spent a happy morning in bed reading the Sunday papers. She read first the theatrical news, then the gossip columns, after that the woman's pages, and finally cast an eye over the headlines of the world's news. The book reviews she ignored; she could never understand why so much space was wasted on them. Michael, who had the room next hers, had come in to say good-morning, and then gone out into the garden. Presently there was a timid little knock at her door and Dolly came in. Her great black eyes were shining. She sat on the bed and took Julia's hand.
“Darling, I've been talking to Michael. I'm going to put up the money to start you in management.”
Julia's heart gave a sudden beat.
“Oh, you mustn't. Michael shouldn't have asked you. I won't have it. You've been far, far too kind to us already.”
Dolly leant over and kissed Julia on the lips. Her voice was lower than usual and there was a little tremor in it.
“Oh, my love, don't you know there isn't anything in the world I wouldn't do for you? It'll be so wonderful; it'll bring us so close together and I shall be so proud of you.”
They heard Michael come whistling along the passage, and when he came into the room Dolly turned to him with her great eyes misty with tears.
“I've just told her.”
He was brimming over with excitement.
“What a grand woman!” He sat down on the other side of the bed and took Julia's disengaged hand. “What d'you say, Julia?”
She gave him a little reflective look.
“‘Vous l'avez voulu, Georges Dandin.’”
“What's that?”
“Molière.”
As soon as the deed of partnership had been signed and Michael had got his theatre booked for the autumn he engaged a publicity agent. Paragraphs were sent to the papers announcing the new venture and Michael and the publicity agent prepared interviews for him and Julia to give to the Press. Photographs of them, singly and together, with and without Roger, appeared in the weeklies. The domestic note was worked for all it was worth. They could not quite make up their minds which of the three plays they had it would be best to start with. Then one afternoon when Julia was sitting in her bedroom reading a novel, Michael came in with a manuscript in his hand.
“Look here, I want you to read this play at once. It's just come in from an agent. I think it's a knock-out. Only we've got to give an answer right away.”
Julia put down her novel.
“I'll read it now.”
“I shall be downstairs. Let me know when you've finished and I'll come up and talk it over with you. It's got a wonderful part for you.”
Julia read quickly, skimming over the scenes in which she was not concerned, but the principal woman's part, the part of course she would play, with concentration. When she had turned the last page she rang the bell and asked her maid (who was also her dresser) to tell Michael she was ready for him.
“Well, what d'you think?”
“The play's all right. I don't see how it can fail to be a success.”
He caught something doubtful in her tone.
“What's wrong then? The part's wonderful. I mean, it's the sort of thing that you can do better than anyone in the world. There's a lot of comedy and all the emotion you want.”
“It's a wonderful part, I know that; it's the man's part.”
“Well, that's a damned good part too.”
“I know; but he's fifty, and if you make him younger you take all the point out of the play. You don't want to take the part of a middle-aged man.”
“But I wasn't thinking of playing that. There's only one man for that. Monte Vernon. And we can get him. I'll play George.”
“But that's a tiny part. You can't play that.”
“Why not?”
“But I thought the point of going into management was that we should both play leads.”
“Oh, I don't care a hang about that. As long as we can find plays with star parts for you I don't matter. Perhaps in the next play there'll be a good part for me too.”
Julia leant back in her chair and the ready tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks.
“Oh, what a beast I am.”
He smiled, and his smile was as charming as ever. He came over to her and kneeling by her side put his arms round her.
“Lor Lumme, what's the matter with the old lady now?”
When she looked at him now she wondered what there was in him that had ever aroused in her such a frenzy of passion. The thought of having sexual relations with him nauseated her. Fortunately he found himself very comfortable in the bedroom she had furnished for him. He was not a man to whom sex was important, and he was relieved when he discovered that Julia no longer made any demands on him. He thought with satisfaction that the birth of the baby had calmed her down, he was bound to say that he had thought it might, and he was only sorry they had not had one before. When he had two or three times,more out of amiability than out of desire, suggested that they should resume marital relations and she had made excuses, either that she was tired, not very well, or had two performances next day, to say nothing of a fitting in the morning, he accepted the situation with equanimity. Julia was much easier to get on with, she never made scenes any more, and he was happier than he had ever been before. It was a damned satisfactory marriage he had made, and when he looked at other people's marriages he couldn't help seeing he was one of the lucky ones. Julia was a damned good sort and clever, as clever as a bagful of monkeys; you could talk to her about anything in the world. The best companion a chap ever had, my boy. He didn't mind saying this, he'd rather spend a day alone with her than play a round of golf.
Julia was surprised to discover in herself a strange feeling of pity for him because she no longer loved him. She was a kindly woman, and she realized that it would be a bitter blow to his pride if he ever had an inkling how little he meant to her. She continued to flatter him. She noticed that for long now he had come to listen complacently to her praise of his exquisite nose and beautiful eyes. She got a little private amusement by seeing how much he could swallow. She laid it on with a trowel. But now she looked more often at his straight thin-lipped mouth. It grew meaner as he grew older, and by the time he was an old man it would be no more than a cold hard line. His thrift, which in the early days had seemed an amusing, rather touching trait, now revolted her. When people were in trouble, and on the stage they too often are, they got sympathy and kind friendly words from Michael, but very little cash. He looked upon himself as devilish generous when he parted with a guinea, and a five-pound note was to him the extreme of lavishness. He had soon discovered that Julia ran the house extravagantly, and insisting that he wanted to save her trouble took the matter in his own hands. After that nothing was wasted. Every penny was accountedfor. Julia wondered why servants stayed with them. They did because Michael was so nice to them. With his hearty, jolly, affable manner he made them anxious to please him, and the cook shared his satisfaction when she had found a butcher from whom they could get meat a penny a pound cheaper than elsewhere. Julia could not but laugh when she thought how strangely his passion for economy contrasted with the devil-may-care, extravagant creatures he portrayed so well on the stage. She had often thought that he was incapable of a generous impulse; and now, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, he was prepared to stand aside so that she might have her chance. She was too deeply moved to speak. She reproached herself bitterly for all the unkind things she had for so long been thinking of him.
邁克爾在戰(zhàn)爭結(jié)束的那一刻就復(fù)員了,緊接著就接演了一個角色。再次回到舞臺的他,比起離開舞臺時,演技大有長進。他在軍隊中練就的風(fēng)趣在舞臺上很有效。他是個身體健壯、生氣活潑的正常人,總是笑容滿面,有時哈哈大笑。他很適合出演發(fā)生在會客室的喜劇。他那輕柔的聲音讓一句挑逗的臺詞有了特殊效果,雖然他從未讓求愛戲看起來逼真,但他能很好地演繹打趣的愛情戲,把求婚演得像笑話,或者講一段愛情告白時更像是在自我嘲笑,他的表演方式讓觀眾們產(chǎn)生興趣。他從不試圖表演除他以外的人。他擅長演花花公子、紳士般的賭棍、禁衛(wèi)軍官兵和生性善良的年輕壞蛋。經(jīng)理們也喜歡他。他工作非常努力,并且聽從指揮。只要他能接到角色,他并不在意演的是什么。他力爭他認為合適的薪金,但如果達不到,那么少些也行,總比閑著強。
他仔細地做自己的計劃。戰(zhàn)爭結(jié)束后的第一個冬天暴發(fā)了一場流感。他的父親和母親都在流感中死亡。他繼承了大約四千英鎊,再加上他和朱莉婭的儲蓄,他們有了七千英鎊。但劇院的租金同時也上漲了許多,演員的工資和舞臺工作人員的薪水也都增加了,這意味著經(jīng)營劇院的花銷比戰(zhàn)前多了許多。原本足夠開劇院的錢現(xiàn)在卻顯得捉襟見肘。唯一的方法就是找一個有錢人和他們一起入伙,這樣即使一開始出現(xiàn)一兩次失敗的經(jīng)歷也不會把他們逐出這圈子。據(jù)說,你總能在城市里找到個傻瓜開張數(shù)目不小的支票讓你制作一部戲劇,但當(dāng)你談到實際問題時,你發(fā)現(xiàn),他們的一個重要條件是得讓他們感興趣的某位漂亮女演員來出演主角。多年前,邁克爾和朱莉婭開玩笑說會有個有錢的老女人愛上邁克爾并出錢讓他開劇院。他早就知道,沒有哪個富有的老女人會出錢讓一個妻子是個女演員的年輕男演員經(jīng)營劇院的,尤其是他對妻子還絕對忠誠。最后,確實有一位有錢的女人掏了這筆錢,然而她并不老,讓她感興趣的人也不是邁克爾,而是朱莉婭。
德·弗里斯太太是個寡婦。她矮小敦實,長著精致的猶太人的鼻子和眼睛,充滿活力,性格既奔放又懦弱,還有些男子漢的氣概。她對舞臺充滿熱情,在吉米·蘭頓的輪演劇目劇團看似要被迫關(guān)門的時候幾次慷慨解囊。于是,在朱莉婭和邁克爾決定在倫敦碰碰運氣時,吉米·蘭頓寫信給她,希望她能給予他們幫助。她在米德爾普爾看過朱莉婭的表演。她為他們舉辦宴會,讓這對年輕的演員有機會認識劇院經(jīng)理,并邀請他們在她吉爾福德附近的豪華大房子里住下來,他們在那里享受到做夢都沒想過的奢侈生活。她不太喜歡邁克爾。朱莉婭經(jīng)常收到多莉·德·弗里斯送來的鮮花,她用鮮花填滿朱莉婭的公寓和化妝間,她還送朱莉婭很多禮物,例如包包、小手袋、次等寶石串成的項鏈、胸針等。朱莉婭自然很開心,但她只把多莉的慷慨歸因于她喜歡她的才華。當(dāng)邁克爾去了前線,多莉提出讓朱莉婭搬到她在蒙塔古廣場的別墅中居住,朱莉婭拒絕了,并表達了她極度的感謝之情。多莉嘆了口氣,掉了滴眼淚,更加愛慕她。當(dāng)羅杰出生時,朱莉婭請她做孩子的教母。
有段時間,邁克爾一直在想多莉·德·弗里斯出這筆錢的可能性,但他非常明白,雖然她會為了朱莉婭同意這么做,但是朱莉婭不會為了他而這么做。朱莉婭拒絕向她求助。
“她對我們已經(jīng)非常好了,我真的不能再去向她提更多要求,而且如果她拒絕了該多丟人啊?!?/p>
“這個險值得一冒,而且即使她虧了這筆錢,她也不會在乎。我相信你一定能說服她,如果你肯嘗試一下?!?/p>
朱莉婭很清楚自己能說服多莉。邁克爾在某些方面頭腦很簡單;而她也不愿意告訴他已經(jīng)明擺著的事實。
然而,一旦邁克爾認定了某件事情就不可能輕易放棄。周六晚上的表演結(jié)束后,他們開著朱莉婭在邁克爾生日時送給他的車,準備去吉爾福德與多莉共度周末。這是個美妙而溫暖的夜晚。邁克爾已經(jīng)購買了——雖然寫支票的時候心痛不已——三部他們倆都喜歡的劇本,并且他已經(jīng)打聽到一家條件合理的劇院。一切都已準備好了,除了錢。他讓朱莉婭這周末抓住機會向多莉提及此事。
“你自己問吧,”朱莉婭不耐煩地說道,“我跟你說,我不會去的?!?/p>
“我去問,她不會同意的。你動動小指就能讓她跟著你轉(zhuǎn)?!?/p>
“現(xiàn)在我們也大概對投資戲劇有了些了解。人們投資戲劇有兩種原因,要么他們想要名聲,要么他們愛上了某個人。很多人談?wù)撍囆g(shù),但很難看到有人會為了藝術(shù)真的出錢,除非他們自己會從中得利?!?/p>
“那么,我們就給多莉她想要的知名度?!?/p>
“那不是她想要的?!?/p>
“你什么意思?”
“你猜不出來嗎?”
他明白了,驚訝得不得了,以至于連車速都降了下來。朱莉婭懷疑的會是真的嗎?他從來沒有想過多莉有多么喜歡他,至于多莉愛上了他——這種想法從來沒有在他腦子里出現(xiàn)。當(dāng)然朱莉婭有雙犀利的眼睛,幾乎什么都逃不過她這雙眼,但她是個愛嫉妒的小東西,她總是覺得女人們都力圖博得他的寵愛。雖然多莉曾經(jīng)在圣誕節(jié)的時候送過他一副袖扣,但他以為多莉這么做只是避免讓他感到被冷落,因為她送給朱莉婭一個至少花了兩百鎊的胸針。那可能只是多莉的詭計。他可以發(fā)誓,他從未做過任何讓多莉誤解他們之間可能會有什么事情發(fā)生的事。朱莉婭笑了。
“不,親愛的,她愛的并不是你?!?/p>
朱莉婭看出他在想什么,這讓他覺得不安。你幾乎無法向她隱瞞什么。
“那你為什么要讓我這么想?我乞求上帝,你能表達得清楚一些嗎?這樣別人才能明白你的意思?!?/p>
朱莉婭這么做了。
“我從未聽過這種無稽之談,”他喊道,“你的思想太骯臟了,朱莉婭!”
“別胡說八道,親愛的。”
“我不相信你剛剛說的有一句是真話。畢竟我頭上也長了眼睛。難道你想說我就從未注意到嗎?”這是她認識邁克爾這么久以來,他最暴躁的一次,“即使你說的是真的,我也相信你能照顧好自己。這是個千載難逢的好機會,我覺得如果不抓住的話簡直就是愚昧至極?!?/p>
“《一報還一報》中的克勞第奧和伊莎貝拉。(1)”
“說什么混賬話,朱莉婭。上帝啊,我是個紳士。”
“‘犯我者必受懲?!?/p>
他們在暗藏著暴風(fēng)雨的沉寂中開車走完了剩下的路途。德·弗里斯太太還在等待他們。
“我不想還沒見到你就去上床睡覺了。”她說道,擁抱了朱莉婭并親吻了她兩個臉頰。然后,她和邁克爾輕快地握了握手。
第二天,朱莉婭在床上讀著星期日的報紙,度過了一個愉快的早晨。她先讀了有關(guān)劇院的消息,然后是八卦專欄,之后讀了關(guān)于女人的部分,最后瞧了一眼世界新聞的頭條。書評被直接忽略,她搞不懂為什么這部分要占據(jù)那么大的篇幅。住在隔壁的邁克爾進來說了一聲早安后就去花園了?,F(xiàn)在,她門外有人小心翼翼地敲門,然后多莉走了進來。她那雙又大又黑的眼睛閃著光芒。她坐在床上,握住了朱莉婭的手。
“親愛的,我已經(jīng)跟邁克爾談過了,我會出錢讓你經(jīng)營劇院的?!?/p>
朱莉婭的心臟突然狂跳不止。
“哦,你千萬別這么做。邁克爾本就不該去問你。我不會同意的。你對我們已經(jīng)非常非常好了?!?/p>
多莉俯下身來,親吻了朱莉婭的嘴唇。她的聲音比平常還要低沉,帶著點微微的顫音。
“哦,我的寶貝,難道你不知道這世上沒什么是我不會為你做的嗎?一切都會非常美好;它將讓我們的關(guān)系更加密切,而且我會為你感到非常驕傲?!?/p>
她們聽到邁克爾在走廊里吹口哨,當(dāng)他走進房間時,多莉轉(zhuǎn)身面向他,淚眼蒙眬。
“我剛剛告訴了她?!?/p>
他興奮得眉飛色舞。
“多么偉大的女人?。 彼诖驳牧硪贿?,握著朱莉婭另外那只手,“你說呢,朱莉婭?”
她朝他瞥了一眼,心事滿滿。
“‘這原是你要這樣做的,喬治·當(dāng)?shù)?。’?2)
“你說什么?”
“莫里哀?!?/p>
在合作協(xié)議簽署完成、邁克爾辦妥了劇院秋天營業(yè)的手續(xù)之后,他立刻雇用了一個宣傳代理人。報紙上刊登了多篇報道宣布這一新投資,邁克爾和這個宣傳代理人還為他和朱莉婭準備了媒體采訪。他們的照片刊登在各種周刊上,其中有單人照還有合照,有羅杰出鏡的以及沒有羅杰出鏡的。家庭信息中最有價值的都被利用了起來。他們無法決定買下的三部劇中首先上演哪一部。某天下午,當(dāng)朱莉婭坐在臥室讀小說時,邁克爾手里拿著劇本走了進來。
“看這里,我想要你立刻讀這個劇本。這是剛剛從一個中介那里得來的。我覺得棒極了。只是我們必須現(xiàn)在就做決定?!?/p>
朱莉婭放下小說。
“我現(xiàn)在就讀?!?/p>
“我在樓下。你讀完了告訴我,我會上來跟你討論。這劇本有一個非常精彩的角色給你。”
朱莉婭讀得很快,迅速瀏覽她不感興趣的部分,但女主角的部分,也就是她要演的部分,她讀得非常仔細。當(dāng)她翻到最后一頁,她拉響鈴鐺,讓女仆(也是她的服裝師)告訴邁克爾她在等他。
“你怎么想?”
“這個劇本不錯。我看不出為什么會不成功。”
他聽出她聲調(diào)中的懷疑口吻。
“那么有什么問題?角色很精彩。我是說,這正是你最擅長演的角色,你會比世界上任何其他演員演得好。有很多喜劇部分,還有你想要的一切情感?!?/p>
“我知道女主角是不錯的角色,我說的是男主角?!?/p>
“也是個非常好的角色?!?/p>
“我知道;但他已經(jīng)五十歲了,如果你讓他變得年輕點,那所有的意義就都消失了。而你肯定不想演一個中年男人?!?/p>
“但我沒有想著要飾演那個角色。只有一個男人適合這個角色。蒙特·弗農(nóng)。我們可以請到他。我演喬治?!?/p>
“但那是個非常小的角色,你不能演那個。”
“為什么不能?”
“但我以為我們經(jīng)營劇院的目的就是能一起演主角啊?!?/p>
“哦,我一點都不在乎那個。只要我們能找到適合你演主角的劇本就行,我無所謂。也許下個劇本中會有個不錯的角色適合我。”
朱莉婭靠到她的椅子上,淚水充滿了她的雙眼,順著臉頰流下。
“哦,我真是個禽獸?!?/p>
他笑了笑,他的笑容還如同以往一樣迷人。他走到她身邊,跪了下來,擁抱了她。
“老天爺保佑,這位老太太現(xiàn)在怎么樣啦?”
朱莉婭這會兒注視著邁克爾,心里想著,他以前究竟是用什么喚醒了她心中火熱的激情。想到曾與他發(fā)生過的性關(guān)系,這讓她感到惡心。幸運的是,他對朱莉婭為他布置的床非常滿意。他并不是一個把性生活看得很重的人,因而當(dāng)他發(fā)現(xiàn)朱莉婭不再對他有任何要求,這讓他松了口氣。他想一定是嬰兒的出生讓她平靜下來,他早就想到可能會這樣,現(xiàn)在他覺得沒早點兒要小孩是個遺憾。當(dāng)他有那么兩三次,更多地出于友好而非欲望,建議恢復(fù)性關(guān)系,她借口拒絕了。要么是因為太累,身體不適,要么是第二天有兩場演出,更不用說早上還要去試穿服裝,他平靜地接受了她的理由。朱莉婭比以前好相處了許多,她不再吵鬧,而他從未像現(xiàn)在這樣開心過。他的婚姻簡直太幸福了,當(dāng)他看到別人的婚姻時,他無法抑制地想自己屬于幸運者中的一個。朱莉婭為人善良又聰明,像猴子那樣聰明;你能同她講世界上任何事情。她是一個人所能得到的最理想的伴侶。他甚至不會介意這么說,比起打一輪高爾夫,他寧愿和朱莉婭待上一整天。
朱莉婭驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)自己對邁克爾有一種憐憫之情,因為她已不再愛他。她是個善良的女人,她明白如果邁克爾知道自己對她毫不重要,這對邁克爾將會是一個痛苦的打擊。她繼續(xù)恭維他。她注意到,很久以來,他聽到她稱贊他那精致的鼻子和美麗的眼睛時都會揚揚得意。她想看看他能受得了多少贊美,這成了她自己的小消遣。她竭力夸獎他。但現(xiàn)在她更多地注意到他那張單薄沒有曲線的嘴巴。隨著他漸漸變老,邁克爾的嘴越來越難看,當(dāng)他真正成了一個老人時,這張嘴將只剩下一條生硬冰冷的直線。他的節(jié)儉,早年的時候被認為有趣,是一個令人感動的特點,現(xiàn)在讓她感到厭惡。當(dāng)人們陷入困境時,尤其是舞臺上的人們經(jīng)常會遇到這樣的情況,邁克爾會奉上親切友好的慰問之詞,卻幾乎從不給錢。當(dāng)他捐了一基尼硬幣,他都會覺得自己非常慷慨,捐獻五英鎊對他來說是極度奢侈的。他很快發(fā)現(xiàn)朱莉婭持家揮霍無度,堅持要從她手中接管過這個工作,以免除她的麻煩。在那之后,家里沒什么浪費了。每一分錢都花得很值。朱莉婭想不明白為什么仆人們還會待在他們家里。那是因為邁克爾對他們非常和藹可親。邁克爾那真誠、歡樂、平易近人的態(tài)度讓他們急于討好他,當(dāng)廚娘發(fā)現(xiàn)從某個屠夫那里買肉會一斤省下一分錢的時候,邁克爾和她都喜笑顏開,非常滿意。一想到他對節(jié)儉的熱情和他在舞臺上呈現(xiàn)的那些滿不在乎、揮霍無度的人物形成的反差,朱莉婭忍不住大笑。她時常以為邁克爾無法有慷慨的沖動;現(xiàn)在,就好像是這世上最自然的事情一樣,他已經(jīng)準備好站到一邊,讓她去抓住自己的機遇了。她感動得說不出話來。對于長期以來她對他不好的想法,朱莉婭感到強烈的自責(zé)。
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(1) 在莎士比亞的喜劇《一報還一報》中,克勞第奧因未婚與情人生了孩子而被判處死刑,他姐姐修女伊莎貝拉為他向攝政安哲魯懇求赦罪,安哲魯見美色而起淫心,向伊莎貝拉提出若她能依從,便同意赦免她的弟弟。伊莎貝拉將這件事告訴獄中的弟弟,他竟要求姐姐犧牲貞操救他性命。
(2) 法語,“Vous l'avez voulu, Georges Dandin.”,引自莫里哀的喜劇《喬治·當(dāng)?shù)ぁ贰?/p>
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