雙語·面紗 第二十一章

21

All through the afternoon she thought of what Charlie had said about Walter. They were dining out that evening and when he came back from the Club she was dressing. He knocked at her door.

“Come in.”

He did not open.

“I'm going straight along to dress. How long will you be?”

“Ten minutes.”

He said nothing more, but went to his own room. His voice had that constrained note which she had heard in it the night before. She felt fairly sure of herself now. She was ready before he was and when he came downstairs she was already seated in the car.

“I'm afraid I've kept you waiting,” he said.

“I shall survive it,” she replied, and she was able to smile as she spoke.

She made an observation or two as they drove down the hill, but he answered curtly. She shrugged her shoulders; she was growing a trifle impatient: if he wanted to sulk, let him, she didn't care. They drove in silence till they reached their destination. It was a large dinner party. There were too many people and too many courses. While Kitty chatted gaily with her neighbours she watched Walter. He was deathly pale and his face was pinched.

“Your husband is looking rather washed out. I thought he didn't mind the heat. Has he been working very hard?”

“He always works hard.”

“I suppose you're going away soon?”

“Oh, yes, I think I shall go to Japan as I did last year,” she said.“The doctor says I must get out of the heat if I don't want to go all to pieces.”

Walter did not as usual when they were dining out give her a smiling glance now and then. He never looked at her. She had noticed that when he came down to the car he kept his eyes averted, and he did the same when, with his usual politeness, he gave her his hand to alight. Now, talking with the women on either side of him, he did not smile, but looked at them with steady and unblinking eyes; and really his eyes looked enormous and in that pale face coal black. His face was set and stern.

“He must be an agreeable companion,” thought Kitty ironically.

The idea of those unfortunate ladies trying to indulge in small talk with that grim mask not a little diverted her.

Of course he knew; there was no doubt about that, and he was furious with her. Why hadn't he said anything? Was it really because, though angry and hurt, he loved her so much that he was afraid she would leave him? The thought made her ever so slightly despise him, but good-naturedly: after all, he was her husband and he provided her with board and lodging; so long as he didn't interfere with her and let her do as she liked she would be quite nice to him. On the other hand perhaps his silence was due merely to a morbid timidity. Charlie was right when he said that no one would hate a scandal more than Walter. He never made a speech if he could help it. He had told her once that when he was subpoenaed as a witness on a case where he was to give expert evidence he had hardly slept for a week before. His shyness was a disease.

And there was another thing: men were very vain, and so long as no one knew what had happened it might be that Walter would be content to ignore it. Then she wondered whether by any possibility Charlie was right when he suggested that Walter knew which side his bread was buttered. Charlie was the most popular man in the Colony and soon would be the Colonial Secretary. He could be very useful to Walter: on the other hand he could make himself very unpleasant if Walter put his back up. Her heart exulted as she thought of her lover's strength and determination; she felt so defenceless in his virile arms. Men were strange: it would never have occurred to her that Walter was capable of such baseness, and yet you never knew; perhaps his seriousness was merely a mask for a mean and pettifogging nature. The more she considered it the more likely it seemed that Charlie was right; and she turned her glance once more on her husband. There was no indulgence in it.

It happened that just then the women on either side of him were talking with their neighbours and he was left alone. He was staring straight in front of him, forgetful of the party, and his eyes were filled with a mortal sadness. It gave Kitty a shock.

第二十一章

整個下午她的腦海里都想著查理所說的關(guān)于沃爾特的那些話。當(dāng)天晚上他們計劃外出吃飯，他從俱樂部回來的時候，她正在梳妝打扮。他敲了敲她的屋門。

“進(jìn)來?！?/p>

他并沒有推門進(jìn)來。

“我就直接去換衣服了，你還要多長時間？”

“十分鐘?！?/p>

他沒有再說什么，返身回了自己的房間。他好像故意控制著語氣，就像昨天晚上那樣。她現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)鎮(zhèn)定自若了，在他捅破這層窗戶紙之前，她已經(jīng)做好了準(zhǔn)備。當(dāng)他走下樓時，她已經(jīng)在車?yán)锫渥恕?/p>

“讓你久等了?！彼f道。

“還好。”她回答道，當(dāng)她說這話的時候竟然還露出了笑容。

當(dāng)車子向山下開的時候，她還不時說上一兩句話，但他的回答都是冷冰冰的。她聳了聳肩，也開始變得有點(diǎn)兒不耐煩了，如果他想生悶氣，隨他去，她才不在乎呢。一路上他們不再說話，一直到達(dá)了目的地。這是一場規(guī)模很大的晚宴，有太多的人光顧，當(dāng)然也有太多的菜肴可以品嘗。凱蒂一邊快樂地和她的鄰座聊著天，一邊偷偷地瞄了一眼沃爾特。他的臉色慘白，眉頭也沒有舒展。

“你丈夫看上去很疲憊，我想他不是嫌這里太熱吧。他工作的壓力是不是太大了？”

“他工作起來總是很玩命。”

“我想你們是不是很快就要離開這兒了？”

“哦，是的，我想我們要去日本了，就像去年那樣。”她說道，“如果我不想把小命交代到這兒的話，醫(yī)生們說我必須逃離這種悶熱?！?/p>

沃爾特沒有像往常他們外出赴宴那樣，用他含笑的目光時不時地掃上她幾眼。他一眼也沒看她，她已經(jīng)注意到了這點(diǎn)。當(dāng)他們走出來去坐車時，他的眼睛在刻意回避她，他也沒有像通常那樣彬彬有禮，讓她把手搭在他的手上一起走。當(dāng)和身旁的女士們說話的時候，他也沒有絲毫笑容，只是用堅定而一眨也不眨的眼睛看著她們。他的雙眼的確很大，在蒼白的臉上顯得像煤炭一樣黑。他板著一副嚴(yán)肅的面孔。

“他可真是一個隨和的好伴侶?！眲P蒂不無諷刺地心里嘀咕著。

一想到那些不幸的女士在試圖和那位帶著一副冰冷面具的人聊天，凱蒂就覺得好笑。

當(dāng)然，他也清楚，毫無疑問，她讓他怒不可遏，可為什么他不說出來？難道果真是因為他太愛她了，即使生氣和傷心，但還是害怕她會離開他嗎？這個念頭讓她有點(diǎn)兒瞧不起他，可他的脾氣還算溫厚，畢竟，他是她的丈夫，是他為她提供了生活保障。只要他不干涉她的事，讓她能夠隨心所欲地做事，她還是會善待他的。從另一方面來看，或許他的沉默是一種病態(tài)的怯懦，查理是對的，他說沒有誰比沃爾特更不愿招惹上閑話的了。如果不到萬不得已，他不會吭聲的。有一次他曾告訴她一件事，他曾經(jīng)作為一個案子的證人被傳喚出庭作證，在法庭上他需要提供專業(yè)性的證據(jù)，在此之前，他有一周的時間都沒睡好覺，他的害羞簡直就是一種病態(tài)。

可能還有另外一層原因，男人們都很虛榮，只要沒人知道事情的真相，沃爾特會甘愿不去理會它。那么她很想搞明白查理的分析是不是正確，查理暗示說沃爾特知道是誰給他提供了這份工作，他心里清楚應(yīng)該怎么做。查理是在香港地頭上最受歡迎的人，很快就會當(dāng)上殖民地大臣，他對沃爾特來說很有用。再者說了，如果沃爾特不識好歹，查理也不會給他什么好果子吃的。當(dāng)她想到自己情人的權(quán)勢和決心時，心中一陣狂喜。在他剛健有力的雙臂中，她覺得是那么放松。男人真是一種奇怪的動物，以前她從來沒有想過沃爾特能夠這樣卑鄙，這是她做夢也想不到的。也許他嚴(yán)肅的外表只不過是張面具，掩蓋著他卑鄙和欺騙的天性。她越想到這一點(diǎn)，越覺得查理很可能是對的。她把目光再次落到她丈夫身上，發(fā)現(xiàn)他根本沒有跟人聊天。

當(dāng)他周圍的女客們和她們的鄰座交談的時候，他就落了單。他的眼睛直勾勾地盯著前面，好像忘了這場聚會，眼睛里充滿了致命的憂傷，這讓凱蒂像受到了電擊般一震。