雙語·面紗 第二十章

20

She got out of her rickshaw in the Victoria Road and walked up the steep, narrow lane till she came to the shop. She lingered outside a moment as though her attention were attracted by the bric-à-brac which was displayed. But a boy who was standing there on the watch for customers, recognising her at once, gave her a broad smile of connivance. He said something in Chinese to some one within and the master, a little, fat-faced man in a black gown, came out and greeted her. She walked in quickly.

“Mr. Townsend no come yet. You go top-side, yes?”

She went to the back of the shop and walked up the rickety, dark stairs. The Chinese followed her and unlocked the door that led into the bedroom. It was stuffy and there was an acrid smell of opium. She sat down on a sandalwood chest.

In a moment she heard a heavy step on the creaking stairs. Townsend came in and shut the door behind him. His face bore a sullen look, as he saw her it vanished, and he smiled in that charming way of his. He took her quickly in his arms and kissed her lips.

“Now what's the trouble?”

“It makes me feel better just to see you,” she smiled.

He sat down on the bed and lit a cigarette.

“You look rather washed out this morning.”

“I don't wonder,” she answered. “I don't think I closed my eyes all night.”

He gave her a look. He was smiling still, but his smile was a little set and unnatural. She thought there was a shade of anxiety in his eyes.

“He knows,” she said.

There was an instant's pause before he answered.

“What did he say?”

“He hasn't said anything.”

“What!” He looked at her sharply. “What makes you think he knows?”

“Everything. His look. The way he talked at dinner.”

“Was he disagreeable?”

“No, on the contrary, he was scrupulously polite. For the first time since we married he didn't kiss me goodnight.”

She dropped her eyes. She was not sure if Charlie understood. As a rule Walter took her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers and would not let them go. His whole body grew tender and passionate with his kiss.

“Why do you imagine he didn't say anything?”

“I don't know.”

There was a pause. Kitty sat very still on the sandal wood box and looked with anxious attention at Townsend. His face once more was sullen and there was a frown between his brows. His mouth dropped a little at the corners. But all at once he looked up and a gleam of malicious amusement came into his eyes.

“I wonder if he is going to say anything.”

She did not answer. She did not know what he meant.

“After all, he wouldn't be the first man who's shut his eyes in a case of this sort. What has he to gain by making a row? If he'd wanted to make a row he would have insisted on coming into your room.” His eyes twinkled and his lips broke into a broad smile. “We should have looked a pair of damned fools.”

“I wish you could have seen his face last night.”

“I expect he was upset. It was naturally a shock. It's a damned humiliating position for any man. He always looks a fool. Walter doesn't give me the impression of a fellow who'd care to wash a lot of dirty linen in public.”

“I don't think he would,” she answered reflectively. “He's very sensitive, I've discovered that.”

“That's all to the good as far as we're concerned. You know, it's a very good plan to put yourself in somebody else's shoes and ask yourself how you would act in his place. There's only one way in which a man can save his face when he's in that sort of position and that is to pretend he knows nothing. I bet you anything you like that that is exactly what he's going to do.”

The more Townsend talked the more buoyant he became. His blue eyes sparkled and he was once more his gay and jovial self. He irradiated an encouraging confidence.

“Heavens knows, I don't want to say anything disagreeable about him, but when you come down to brass tacks a bacteriologist is no great shakes. The chances are that I shall be Colonial Secretary when Simmons goes home, and it's to Walter's interest to keep on the right side of me. He's got his bread and butter to think of, like the rest of us: do you think the Colonial Office are going to do much for a fellow who makes a scandal? Believe me, he's got everything to gain by holding his tongue and everything to lose by kicking up a row.”

Kitty moved uneasily. She knew how shy Walter was and she could believe that the fear of a scene, and the dread of public attention, might have influence upon him; but she could not believe that he would be affected by the thought of a material advantage. Perhaps she didn't know him very well, but Charlie didn't know him at all.

“Has it occurred to you that he's madly in love with me?”

He did not answer, but he smiled at her with roguish eyes. She knew and loved that charming look of his.

“Well, what is it? I know you're going to say something awful.”

“Well, you know, women are often under the impression that men are much more madly in love with them than they really are.”

For the first time she laughed. His confidence was catching.

“What a monstrous thing to say.”

“I put it to you that you haven't been bothering much about your husband lately. Perhaps he isn't quite so much in love with you as he was.”

“At all events I shall never delude myself that you are madly in love with me,” she retorted.

“That's where you're wong.”

Ah, how good it was to hear him say that! She knew it and her belief in his passion warmed her heart. As he spoke he rose from the bed and came and sat down beside her on the sandalwood box. He put his arm round her waist.

“Don't worry your silly little head a moment longer,” he said.“I promise you there's nothing to fear. I'm as certain as I am of anything that he's going to pretend he knows nothing. You know, this sort of thing is awfully difficult to prove. You say he's in love with you; perhaps he doesn't want to lose you altogether. I swear I'd accept anything rather than that if you were my wife.”

She leaned towards him. Her body became limp and yielding against his arm. The love she felt for him was almost torture. His last words had struck her: perhaps Walter loved her so passionately that he was prepared to accept any humiliation if sometimes she would let him love her. She could understand that; for that was how she felt towards Charlie. A thrill of pride passed through her, and at the same time a faint sensation of contempt for a man who could love so slavishly.

She put her arm lovingly round Charlie's neck.

“You're simply wonderful. I was shaking like a leaf when I came here and you've made everything all right.”

He took her face in his hand and kissed her lips.

“Darling.”

“You're such a comfort to me,” she sighed.

“I'm sure you need not be nervous. And you know I'll stand by you. I won't let you down.”

She put away her fears, but for an instant unreasonably she regretted that her plans for the future were shattered. Now that all danger was past she almost wished that Walter were going to insist on a divorce.

“I knew I could count on you,” she said.

“So I should hope.”

“Oughtn't you to go and have your tiffin?”

“Oh, damn my tiffin.”

He drew her more closely to him and now she was held tight in his arms. His mouth sought hers.

“Oh, Charlie, you must let me go.”

“Never.”

She gave a little laugh, a laugh of happy love and of triumph; his eyes were heavy with desire. He lifted her to her feet and not letting her go but holding her close to his breast he locked the door.

第二十章

她在維多利亞路就下了黃包車，沿著陡峭、狹窄的小巷向坡上走去，直到來到了古董店的門前。她在店外逡巡了一會(huì)兒，好像被櫥窗內(nèi)展示的小古玩擺件所吸引。但站在門口招呼顧客的一位伙計(jì)很快就認(rèn)出了她，毫不吝嗇地給了她一個(gè)燦爛的笑容。他用中文沖著店里說了些什么，店主馬上迎了出來，他是個(gè)個(gè)頭矮小、長(zhǎng)著一張肥嘟嘟的臉、穿著黑色馬褂的男人。她快速走進(jìn)了店里。

“湯森先生還沒到，您樓上請(qǐng)，可以嗎？”

她走到了店鋪的后面，爬上了搖搖晃晃的漆黑樓梯。中國(guó)店主跟著她，然后鎖上了通向臥室的門。里面空氣污濁，還有股刺鼻的鴉片煙的味道。她在一個(gè)檀香木的箱子上坐了下來。

不一會(huì)兒工夫，她聽到從吱呀作響的樓梯上傳來一陣沉重的腳步聲。查理進(jìn)來了，隨手關(guān)上了身后的房門。他陰沉著臉，但當(dāng)看見她時(shí)，他臉上的陰霾馬上消失了。他用他那獨(dú)有的迷人方式微笑了起來，很快把她攬入懷中，開始親吻她的雙唇。

“現(xiàn)在告訴我，你遇到什么麻煩了？”

“只有見到你，才會(huì)讓我覺得好受些。”她的臉上也露出了笑容。

他坐到了床邊，點(diǎn)上了一支香煙。

“今天上午你聽上去好像心力交瘁?！?/p>

“我也不知道為什么?！彼卮鸬?，“我覺得我一晚上都沒合眼?！?/p>

他看了她一眼，微笑雖然還掛在臉上，但笑容有點(diǎn)兒僵硬和不自然。她也看出他的眼里閃爍著焦慮。

“他發(fā)現(xiàn)了?！彼f道。

在他回答之前，又有一陣子的沉默。

“他說了什么嗎？”

“他什么也沒說?！?/p>

“什么！”他惡狠狠地看著她，“那你憑什么說他發(fā)現(xiàn)了？”

“一切跡象都表明他發(fā)現(xiàn)了我們倆的事兒，他的表情，他在晚餐時(shí)說話的口氣。”

“他跟你找碴兒?jiǎn)?？?/p>

“不，恰恰相反，他處處顯得彬彬有禮，自從我們結(jié)婚以來，他頭一回沒有吻我、跟我道晚安。”

她垂下眼簾，無法確定查理是否能夠理解她所說的話。通常情況下，沃爾特會(huì)緊緊地抱著她，把他的雙唇壓在她的唇上，久久不放開，這時(shí)他的整個(gè)身體由于親吻變得溫柔和充滿激情。

“那你覺得為什么他什么都不說？”

“我不知道?！?/p>

兩人又沉默了片刻。凱蒂直愣愣地坐在檀香木箱子上，充滿焦慮地看著查理。他的臉色再一次變得陰沉下來，眉頭緊皺，嘴角向下耷拉著。但是，不一會(huì)兒，他又目視上方，惡作劇般的目光在閃爍。

“我真想知道他會(huì)說些什么?！?/p>

她沒有答話，不知道他什么意思。

“不管怎么說，他不會(huì)是第一個(gè)對(duì)這種事睜一只眼閉一只眼的男人。大吵一架對(duì)他有什么好處呢？如果他想鬧，當(dāng)初就一定會(huì)堅(jiān)持要進(jìn)你的房間?！彼Ｖp眼，咧嘴又笑了起來，“那樣就會(huì)有一對(duì)該死的傻瓜讓人笑話了?！?/p>

“我真希望你能見到他昨天晚上的臉色?！?/p>

“我料到他很難受，不用說，這是一種打擊，對(duì)任何一個(gè)男人來說，這都把他置于了屈辱的境地。沃爾特總是那么傻里傻氣的，他給我的印象好像一個(gè)大老爺們兒整天婆婆媽媽地惦記著當(dāng)眾去洗家里的床單、桌布什么的。”

“我不這么看?！彼粲兴嫉鼗卮鸬溃八苊舾?，我已經(jīng)發(fā)現(xiàn)了這一點(diǎn)。”

“就我們目前的情況來看，還算不錯(cuò)。你知道，要防患于未然，一個(gè)好的策略就是換位思考，如果你處在他的位置上，你會(huì)采取什么行動(dòng)。一個(gè)男人想保留顏面的唯一方式就是假裝什么都不知道，我敢保證他肯定會(huì)這么干?！?/p>

查理說得越多，就越變得亢奮起來。他的藍(lán)眼睛閃著光，又恢復(fù)了他的活潑與快樂，散發(fā)著鼓舞士氣的信心。

“上天作證，我不想說他的壞話，但是說正經(jīng)的，你要屈尊對(duì)一個(gè)細(xì)菌學(xué)家下一個(gè)結(jié)論的話，他也沒什么了不起的。如果西蒙斯先生退休回國(guó)，我很可能成為殖民地大臣，如果沃爾特不想受到什么損失的話，他就得站到我這一邊，他要想保住賴以謀生的工作，就像我們所有人那樣，說話辦事就得好好掂量掂量了。你覺得殖民地當(dāng)局會(huì)怎么對(duì)待一個(gè)整天惹是生非、制造丑聞的家伙？相信我，如果他閉嘴的話，他會(huì)得到想要的一切，如果他不長(zhǎng)腦子大吵大鬧的話，沒有好果子吃?！?/p>

凱蒂不安地挪動(dòng)了一下身子。她知道沃爾特很害羞，能夠想象得到，他害怕出現(xiàn)吵架的場(chǎng)景，對(duì)引起公眾注意的事情更是千方百計(jì)要躲避，這些情況都會(huì)影響到他。但是，她認(rèn)為他不會(huì)受物質(zhì)上小恩小惠的擺布，也許她確實(shí)對(duì)他還了解不深，但查理真的完全不明白他的為人。

“你可曾想過他瘋狂地愛著我？”

他沒有回答，但他眼睛里透著頑皮的神情，沖她微微笑著。她明白自己就是對(duì)他這種迷人的神色不能自拔。

“好吧，你直說吧！我知道你會(huì)說不中聽的話?！?/p>

“嗯，你知道，女人們通常會(huì)自以為男人們會(huì)很瘋狂地愛著她們，而實(shí)際上并非如此。”

她第一次笑了起來，他的自信感染了她。

“你真是危言聳聽呢?！?/p>

“你也同樣如此，最近你丈夫沒有怎么來煩你吧，也許他不像以前那么愛你了。”

“在任何情況下，我也不會(huì)自欺欺人地認(rèn)為你瘋狂地愛著我。”她反擊道。

“那你就大錯(cuò)特錯(cuò)了?！?/p>

啊，聽到他那么說多美好呀！她明白這一點(diǎn)，她信任他對(duì)她的愛，這份愛融化了她的心。他邊說邊從床沿站起身來，走過來和她并肩坐在了檀香木箱子上，他伸出一只手臂攬過了她的腰身。

“你這個(gè)小傻瓜不要再為這事繼續(xù)擔(dān)驚受怕了?！彼f道，“我向你保證沒什么可害怕的。就憑我多年的經(jīng)驗(yàn)判斷，他肯定裝作什么事也沒發(fā)生一樣。你知道，這種事往往死無對(duì)證。你說他愛你，也許正說明他不想失去你。我敢發(fā)誓，除了讓你嫁給我外，他會(huì)接受任何事的?！?/p>

她斜靠著他，身體無力地緊緊貼著他的手臂。她對(duì)他的愛幾乎是一種折磨。他最后幾句話觸動(dòng)了她：也許沃爾特愛她很深，如果她能時(shí)不時(shí)地允許這份愛持續(xù)下去，他會(huì)忍氣吞聲的。她能理解這種感受，因?yàn)樗龑?duì)查理的愛就是這樣的。一種驕傲之感涌上心頭，與此同時(shí)，還夾雜著對(duì)男人隱隱約約的蔑視：一個(gè)男人怎么能愛得這樣低三下四。

她充滿愛意地用雙手摟著查理的脖子。

“你真是太棒了，當(dāng)我來這兒之前，完全不知所措，如同風(fēng)中搖擺的葉子，聽你這么一說，一切都萬事大吉了?！?/p>

他用雙手捧著她的臉，開始親吻她的雙唇。

“親愛的寶貝?！?/p>

“你真是我的依靠和安慰呀?！彼龂@了口氣。

“我向你保證你沒必要緊張。而且你知道我始終站在你身邊，我不會(huì)讓你倒下的?！?/p>

她趕走了心中的恐懼，但瞬間心中有點(diǎn)兒感性地后悔她對(duì)未來的計(jì)劃也全落空了。既然所有的危險(xiǎn)已經(jīng)過去，她差點(diǎn)兒希望沃爾特要是打算堅(jiān)持和她離婚就好了。

“我就知道我能指望你?！彼f道。

“我本來就希望如此?！?/p>

“你本來就該回去啦，到了午餐的時(shí)間了?！?/p>

“哦，該死的午餐?！?/p>

他把她一把摟過來，現(xiàn)在她已經(jīng)緊緊地在他懷抱里了，他的嘴在尋找她的雙唇。

“哦，查理，你得讓我走了?！?/p>

“休想。”

她輕輕笑了一聲，這是充滿勝利感和幸福感的笑聲。他的眸子里閃爍著強(qiáng)烈的欲望，他把她抱了起來，不讓她離開，讓她緊緊地貼著自己的胸膛，然后鎖上了門。