第九季:第19集 謝爾頓處理舊物(下)
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Hey, guys, thank you for being a part of our test screening. You're about to be one of the first audiences to see Suicide Squad.
歡迎各位，參加我們今天的試映會，你們將成為《X特遣隊》的首批觀眾
You were right. Oh, I keep telling you good things happen to bad people.
你說得對，我一直跟你說，壞人有好報
Uh, we're gonna get started in a couple minutes. Enjoy.
電影即將開始，祝觀影愉快
Who are you texting? Raj. He really wants to see this movie.
你給誰發(fā)短信呢，拉杰，他特別想看這部電影
Oh, he'll never make it in time. I know. I want to make him feel bad.
他肯定趕不上了，我知道，所以我才故意折磨他一下
"Ha, ha. Leonard and I are about to see Suicide Squad. Spoiler alert: when I see you I'm gonna spoil it."
"哈哈，我和萊納德要看《X特遣隊》了，劇透警告，下次見面就是我劇透之時"
You're a good friend.
你真是個好朋友
Okay. Would you ladies please leave the room for a moment?
好了，兩位女士可以暫時離開一下房間嗎
Why? I need to rub my genitals on their prototype.
為什么 ，我要用生殖器把他們的原型機全都蹭一遍
What's going on?
出什么事了
Leonard and Howard don't have a flat. They went to the movies. Look.
萊納德和霍華德不是車爆胎，他倆一起去看電影了，你們看
Son of a bitch. Unfreakin' believable.
小兔崽子，真他媽不敢相信
You know what? I'm gonna let them know that I'm here with you and that they're busted.
我要讓他們知道，我和你倆在一起，讓他們像被抓奸在床
No. You know what? Don't. Don't. Let's let them think they're getting away with it.
不，別這么做，就讓他們以為自己成功騙過了我們
Yeah, let's see how deep a hole they can dig for themselves.
對，看看他們自掘墳墓能掘多深
Interesting. I mean, it's not testicles on a cryostat, but I like it.
有意思，雖然比不上在低溫恒溫器蹭蛋蛋，但我喜歡
Why do you have a storage unit?
你怎么會有一個儲藏倉庫
Just wait. How long have you had it? Just wait.
不急，你已經(jīng)租了多久了，不急
Do you want me to hold that computer?
需要我?guī)湍隳秒娔X嗎
Just wai... You know what? Actually, yes, thank you. Welcome to my Fortress of Shame.
不急...好呀，謝謝你，歡迎來到我的恥辱之堡
I'm sorry. Whatwhat am I looking at?
對不起，這都是些什么啊
It's basically everything I've ever owned.
這是我曾經(jīng)擁有的每一件東西
Um, every book, every Tshirt, every piece of broken electronics. Just... all of it. All of it?
每一本書，每一件T恤，每一樣壞掉的電子產(chǎn)品，所有的一切都在這里，所有的一切嗎
I have a Ziploc bag filled with all my old Ziploc bags.
我還有一個塑料封口袋，用來裝我所有用過的塑料封口袋
Okay. I would like to tell you that there is nothing here to be ashamed of.
好吧，我要告訴你，這里的一切沒什么好羞愧的
So I'm gonna need a minute. All right, how are we gonna play this when they return?
我需要一分鐘來好好消化一下，等他們回來我們該作何反應呢
I know. You guys should totally be making out with me.
我知道，你們倆應該跟我瘋狂親熱
Sweetie, I know you think jokes like that are funny, but do you really think you could handle making out with both of us?
親愛的，我知道你覺得這種玩笑很好笑，但你覺得自己真的有能力能駕馭得住我倆嗎
No, ma'am. Okay. Okay, how about this? They don't know you're here with us, so you hide in the closet.
不，女王，好了好了，這個如何，他們不知道你和我們在一起，所以你就藏在這個柜子里
When they show up, we'll hear whatever their dumb story is about where they were, we'll pretend to believe them,
等他們回來，我們先聽聽他們編造出來的鬼故事，假裝相信他們
and just when they think they got away with it, you jump out.
等他們以為自己成功騙過去的時候你就跳出來
Yeah, that's pretty good. I love it!
這個主意不錯，我太喜歡了
I'll be all like, "Busted!" And they'll be like, "What?!" And then we'll all be like, "Oh, yeah!"
我會大叫，"抓到啦"，他們會說，"什么鬼"，我們就一起說，"就是醬"
Yeah, II get it. I wouldn't make out with me, either.
好好，我明白了，連我自己都不愿和我這種人親熱
In here is every clock radio I've ever owned. Calculators, VHS tapes. Sporting equipment.
這里有我擁有過的每一個收音機鬧鐘，計算器，錄像帶，運動器材
YYou have sporting equipment?
你還有運動器材啊
Well, oh, it's just a... it's a... A golf ball that my brother threw at my head. You can still feel the dent. It's right next to the hockey puck dent.
那只是一個...高爾夫球，我哥哥拿來砸我的頭的，砸下的坑現(xiàn)在還在呢，就在冰球留下的坑旁邊
Okay, why do you have a bin of pinecones?
你怎么還有一整盒的松果啊
I used to collect them as a child. The spiral of scales open in the Fibonacci sequence.
這是我小時候收集的，松果的鱗片螺旋的比例按斐波那契列數(shù)排列
A fact that, when you tell your brother, gets a golf ball thrown at your head. So, why do you feel you need to save these things?
可當你把這事告訴你哥哥時，他會拿高爾夫球砸你腦袋，那你為什么覺得有必要留下這些東西呢
I'd like to say it's nostalgia, but every time I think of throwing anything away, my ears start to ring, and I get butterflies in my stomach.
說好聽點，這叫懷舊，可實際是，每次我想扔掉某物時，我就會開始耳鳴，內(nèi)心忐忑得像有蝴蝶在我胃里亂飛
And then it feels like the butterflies get eaten by rats, and then, thethe rats get eaten by...
飛著飛著，老鼠來了，蝴蝶被吃掉了，接下來，老鼠又被吃掉了...
Okay. I get it. I get it. It ends with dinosaurs.
行了，我懂了，懂了，最后來收尾的是恐龍
I'm sorry if you think less of me. I don't.
如果讓你覺得瞧不起我，我很遺憾，我沒有
Really? 'Cause every time I come in here, I think less of me. Why?
真的嗎，因為我每次來這里都會瞧不起自己，為什么
Because I'm a fraud. No. I purport to be a man of the mind.
因為我是個騙子，我嘴上說自己意志強大
I've been such aa vocal champion of the singularity, but how can I leave my body behind and become one with the Internet when I've never even thrown a toothbrush away?
還總念叨著會有科技大突破，可一個要舍棄自己的身體成為網(wǎng)絡一部分的我本人怎么能連一根牙刷都舍不得扔
It's okay, Sheldon. You know, I... I've saved a lot of weird things, too. Like what?
沒關系，謝爾頓，我也有很多奇怪的東西不舍得扔掉，比如什么
Did you know I have a microscope slide with a little bit of tissue from the first brain I ever dissected?
你知道我有一片顯微鏡玻片，上面有一點點小組織來自我第一個解剖的大腦
I have an old teddy bear I secretly wiped my nose on for years. It's not a contest.
我有一個舊泰迪熊，我偷偷用它擦了好多年鼻子，這不是比賽
Okay, here they come. Go hide.
好，他們回來了，藏起來
Oh, man, when I come out of the closet, I'm gonna nail those guys!
天了嚕，等我出了柜要把他們都干倒
Yeah, I heard it. Shut up. Hey, what's this?
好，我聽出哪里有歧義了，閉嘴，這是怎么回事
Listen, we did a stupid thing. We went to a movie and lied about it, but we feel bad and want to make it up to you.
聽我說，我們干了件蠢事，我們跑去看了場電影，還撒了謊，但我們知道錯了，想補償你們
So, these are for you, and if you're not too mad, we'd love to take you guys to dinner.
這花送給你們，你們要是不那么生氣，就賞個臉跟我們共進晚餐吧
Yeah. Anywhere you want.
對，去哪兒吃都行
Well, thank you for being honest.
謝謝你們的坦誠
Yeah. You know, I want to be upset, but we did kind of have fun working on the prototype.
對，我本來想發(fā)火的，但我們做原型的確做得挺開心的
Don't forgive them! Stay mad at them!
別原諒他們，保持你們的怒氣
What is he doing in there? Busting you!
他在里面干嘛呢，抓到你們咯
It's okay. They apologized. Yeah, it's fine.
沒關系，他們道歉了，對，沒事了
Well this is kind of anticlimactic.
這結(jié)局略顯平淡啊
You know what wasn't anticlimactic? The end of the movie. Get this.
你知道什么結(jié)局不平淡嗎，那電影的結(jié)局，聽好了
No spoilers! No spoilers!
不要劇透，不要劇透
And he's back in the closet. Ready for dinner?
他又"進柜"了，去吃晚餐吧
Yeah. Should we invite Raj? Yes.
好呀，我們要不要叫上拉杰啊，要
So, no one else knows about this? Only you.
這事沒有人知道嗎，只有你
Thank you for trusting me.
謝謝你信任我
What good is having a girlfriend if you can't unload your psychological sewage on her?
有女朋友的好處就是可以把自己的心理垃圾扔給她啊
That's me, your emotional outhouse.
沒錯，我就是你的情緒茅坑
You know, if you ever decide you want to do something about this, I'mI'm here for you.
知道嗎，如果某天你決定要處理這些東西，我會陪著你
Thank you. I wouldn't even know how to begin. Baby steps, I guess.
謝謝你，我都不知道從哪下手好，一點點來吧
I suppose I could try getting rid of the golf ball. Oh. Okay.
我可以先試著把這高爾夫球扔掉，好呀
I will always have the dent to remember it by.
反正我腦袋上自帶紀念"坑"了
You did it. Do you feel okay?
你做到了，感覺還好嗎
Actually, yes. I do. Well, I'm proud of you.
其實還可以，真的，我為你感到驕傲
Oh. Thanks. I'm glad I told you about the storage unit. Well, I feel closer to you now.
謝謝，我很高興把儲藏倉庫的事告訴了你，我現(xiàn)在感覺跟你更親近了
Oh, I feel closer to you, too.
我也感覺跟你更親近了
You know, it's still a couple of hours until my bedtime.
話說，距離我上床睡覺的時間，還有幾個小時呢
What did you have in mind?
你有什么想法嗎
You look amazing. I mean, this resolution is remarkable.
你的容顏太驚人了，這個分辨率，我跟你講，絕了
I really had to go home for this?
有必要為了這事趕我回家嗎
Yes, but it's like you're right here in the room. And yet, I'm not.
有啊，感覺就像你就在我房里一樣，可是我并不在
But I feel like I could reach out and touch you.
感覺我一伸手就能碰到你
And yet, you can't. I know!
可是你并不能，就是說啊
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