第九季:第6集 萊納德買氦氣(下)
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All right, let's all just calm down. Nobody wants to report anybody.
好了，大家都冷靜一下，誰都不想舉報(bào)誰
No, I don't like this. I'm out.
我不喜歡跟你們做買賣，我要走了
No, no, no. Wait, don't go.
別別，等一下，不要走
Just let me explain. We're physicists, and we're trying to prove a hypothesis that we've been working on for over a year.
請聽我解釋，我們是物理學(xué)家，我們只是想證明一個(gè)我們研究了一年的假設(shè)而已
Really? What's the hypothesis?
真的嗎，什么假設(shè)
Spacetime can be interpreted as the surface of an ndimensional superfluid.
時(shí)空可以用一個(gè)N維超流體的表面來解釋
Could be, could be. Go on.
有可能哦，有可能，說下去
Okay, but now there's this Swedish team that read our and they're trying to beat us to our own discovery. We really need this helium.
現(xiàn)在有一個(gè)瑞典團(tuán)隊(duì)讀了我們的論文想搶先我們一步獲得實(shí)驗(yàn)成果，所以我們真的很需要這罐氦氣
And I'm sorry I lied about being a wedding planner who can't find love. Although I am currently single, if you know anybody.
抱歉我之前撒謊說我自己是沒人愛的婚禮策劃師，不過我現(xiàn)在的確是單身，你有人可以介紹給我嗎
Here's the money. Can we do this?
錢給你，買賣能繼續(xù)嗎
Okay. It's a shame about those scientists ripping you off. I expected a higher ethical standard from our friends in Sweden.
好吧，那些占你們便宜的科學(xué)家實(shí)在太不要臉了，我還以為瑞典的朋友們道德標(biāo)準(zhǔn)會(huì)更高呢
It's actually pretty common in our field. Not much you can do about it.
這事在我們學(xué)術(shù)界其實(shí)挺常見的，我們也拿他們沒辦法
Well, for the right amount of money, if you know where they live, there's, uh, plenty we could do about it.
如果你們出的價(jià)夠高，又知道他們的住址，我倒是知道好多種對付他們的"辦法"
Did you hear that, Leonard? There's plenty we could do about it. Do you have a card?
聽到了嗎，萊納德，我們有好多種對付他們的辦法呢。你有名片嗎
Okay, here we go. Now everyone can see.
好了，出來啦，現(xiàn)在大家都能看到了
All right. Where do we stand on crosseyed Mike?
好的，大家覺得斗雞眼麥克如何啊
You know he won't be looking at other girls. Unless they're sitting on the end of his nose.
好歹他不能亂瞟看別的姑娘了，除非她們坐在他鼻頭上
Okay, okay, okay. Thumbs down. Next.
好，好，好， 按"爛"，下一個(gè)
Ew, check out his tiny teeth. He looks like a mandolphin.
看看他那一嘴小牙齒，他好像一只人形海豚
Wait, if he's good in bed, she can throw him a fish.
如果他床技超群，你可以丟一條小魚作獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)
I love you, Amy.
我愛你，艾米
Okay,I'm starting to feel guilty. Aren't we being a little mean?
我開始有罪惡感了,我們是不是太毒舌了啊
That's a fair point. We wouldn't make fun of someone like this to their face.
你說得對，我們肯定不會(huì)當(dāng)著本人的面這么取笑他
Look, it's Stuart! You may want to leave the room.
看，是斯圖爾特，你最好回避一下吧
Right this way, Uncle Harvey.
這邊請，哈維叔叔
Will you stop with that already?
你能不能別裝了
I'm trying not to attract attention.
我這是在避免引人注意
And tipping his hat to the cleaning lady didn't do that?
你讓他向清潔女工脫帽致意還不夠引人注意嗎
She said, "Buenas noches." What was he supposed to do?
她說了"晚安"（西語），我叔叔還能怎么做
Let's just start the experiment.
我們還是趕緊開始實(shí)驗(yàn)吧
Leonard, we should probably have our story straight in case we get caught. We're not getting caught.
萊納德，我們應(yīng)該把故事編圓了以防到時(shí)被抓住，我們不會(huì)被抓的
Well, you can't be sure of that. What if the helium dealer rats us out? What if Kripke asks where we got it?
你又不能保證這一點(diǎn)，萬一賣氦氣的人出賣我們呢？萬一克里普奇問起這氦氣的來歷呢
What if the university checks my family tree and finds out I don't have an Uncle Harvey?
萬一學(xué)校查了我的家譜發(fā)現(xiàn)我根本就沒有一個(gè)哈維叔叔怎么辦
The dealer doesn't care, Kripke has no authority over us, and you being related to a metal container would explain a lot.
賣家沒這么無聊，克里普奇又管不著我們，而你和金屬罐子有親屬關(guān)系反而更能解釋你的種種
Help me hook this up. What? Well, did you see this sticker? What is it?
幫我把它接起來，怎么了？你看到這個(gè)貼紙了嗎， 怎么了
It's partially torn off, but the segment that remains reads: "Property of" and the letter "U."
雖然掉了一大半，不過剩下部分還依稀可見專屬財(cái)產(chǎn)和一個(gè)U字
It's probably USC or UCLA.
可能是南加大，或加州大學(xué)洛杉磯分校吧
Yeah, but what if it's "Property of U.S. Government"? There's a national helium reserve in Amarillo, Texas.
但萬一指的是美國政府專屬財(cái)產(chǎn)怎么辦？德州的阿馬里洛就有一個(gè)國家氦氣保護(hù)區(qū)
If this was stolen from there, we're accessories to a federal crime.
如果這個(gè)是從那里偷的，我們就犯下了聯(lián)邦重罪
Let's not jump to conclusions. A lot of things start with "U."
別這么快就下結(jié)論，U可以指好多東西呢
That's true. There's the U.S. Air Force, U.S. Department of Defense, U.S. Navy, "You" And I are going to jail.
你說得對，可以指美國空軍，美國國防部，美國海軍，還可以指你和我一起吃牢飯
Listen, we can do the experiment as planned and beat the Swedish team to the punch,
聽著，我們可以按計(jì)劃做完實(shí)驗(yàn)讓瑞典人哭著回家找媽媽
or we can kiss our dreams goodbye because we were to afraid to break a few rules.
或者我們可以和科研夢吻別，因?yàn)槲覀儾桓疫`反一點(diǎn)小規(guī)則
Ma'am. Okay, does everyone remember the rules?
女士您好，好了，大家都記住規(guī)則了嗎
If he's shirtless, one sip. Posing with a pet, two sips. Pet and shirtless, chug like it's your job.
如果他沒穿衣服，喝一口，帶著寵物擺姿勢，喝兩口，帶寵物又沒穿衣服，猛灌
And pull! I have that same underwear! Chug!
開始，這條內(nèi)褲我也有，灌
Mm, Amy, you're getting a text.
艾米，你收到條短信
Oh, um, give me that. "I had a great time last night."
給我。"昨晚玩得很愉快"（戴夫）
No, no, ststop reading that. Who's Dave? I...
停停停，都別看了，誰是戴夫，我...
You went on a date last night? Are you seeing someone?
你昨晚上去約會(huì)了？你在跟誰交往嗎
No, it-it's not like that. "And I'd love to take you out again"? "
沒有，不是那樣的。我很樂意再約你出來玩"
Amy! What? Can't believe it. Oh, my God. Okay, it's like that.
艾米，什么？難以置信啊，我的神啊，好吧，就是那樣
Thank you for coming back.
感謝你能回來
Yeah, well, normally I wouldn't, but my daughter's having a sleepover, and there's only so much screaming and Katy Perry a man can take.
沒事，通常情況下我不會(huì)的，可我女兒跟她的朋友們今晚在我家住，尖叫加水果姐姐已經(jīng)超越我的承受極限了
Anyway, if you could just give us our money back, you can have your helium and we'll be on our way.
總之把錢還給我們，你拿走你的氦氣，我們馬上走
Yeah, well, is there something wrong with it?
好，它有什么問題嗎
No, nothing. We just changed our mind.
沒有，我們只是改變主意了
He has glasses and I'm a knowitall; we are not built for prison.
他是四眼田雞，我是自以為是的瘦竹竿，我倆不適合蹲監(jiān)獄
Yeah, I hear you. Well, you're good guys, so I'll, uh... I'll take the helium off your hands. Thank you.
也是，有道理，你們倆是好人，所以我...我會(huì)把氦氣拿走，謝謝你
But you ain't getting your money back.
但是錢不能還給你們
You're taking advantage of us?
你是想占我倆便宜嗎
We clarified nomenclature together.
我們不是一起弄清過語義嗎
Look, I enjoy semantic digressions as much as the next guy, but, uh, this is business.
雖然我跟普通人一樣都愛聽語義教學(xué)，可是在商言商嘛
You know what? It's fine. Keep the money. We just want to be done with this.
算了？就這樣吧，錢你留著，我們只想趕緊脫手
No problem, but I am gonna have to charge you a small helium restocking fee.
沒問題，但我得跟你們收點(diǎn)氦氣退貨費(fèi)
I don't understand. He wants more money.
我不懂了，他想再要錢
Well, it better not be more than a thousand dollars; that's all I've got on me.
那最好別超過一千美金，我身上就這么多了
That's exactly how much it is.
正好就是那數(shù)
Finally, something breaks our way.
終于有個(gè)順利的事了
I can't believe you're seeing someone and we don't even know about it.
不敢相信你居然在跟人約會(huì)而我們什么都不知道
Yeah, why wouldn't you tell us?
對，你為什么不告訴我們呢
Because it's new and weird and I'm just trying to figure it all out.
因?yàn)檫@事才開始，又很奇怪，我自己還在摸索階段
And I knew if I told you guys I had been out with a few people that you'd get way too excited about it.
而且我知道，如果告訴了你們，我已經(jīng)跟幾個(gè)人約過會(huì)了，你們肯定會(huì)表現(xiàn)得太過興奮
A few people? What?! Amy! So, are we allowed to ask how it's going?
還幾個(gè)人？什么，艾米，所以我們能問問，進(jìn)展如何嗎
It's going fine. It's mostly just been meeting people for coffee.
還行，基本就是跟人見面喝個(gè)咖啡
Wha...?! I thought we were all...
什么？我以為我們每次都要...
Never mind. I-I thought you weren't ready to start seeing people.
當(dāng)我沒說，我以為你還沒準(zhǔn)備好跟別人約會(huì)呢
Well, I don't have much experience dating, so I decided it would be good for me to, you know, get out there a little.
我沒什么約會(huì)經(jīng)驗(yàn)，所以覺得多出去見見世面對我來說是好事
Well, good for you. Thank you.
挺好的，謝謝你
And how many guys have you gone out with? Please be less than two. Three. Damn it.
你已經(jīng)約過幾個(gè)人了，拜托不要超過2個(gè)。3個(gè)，靠
Well, the Swedes might beat us, but at least we won't get gangnoogied in prison.
雖然我們可能會(huì)被瑞典人打敗，可起碼不用在監(jiān)獄里被人"頭皮轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)功"
Is Ernest Goes to Jail the only prison movie you've seen?
監(jiān)獄電影你是只看過《監(jiān)獄寶貝蛋》嗎
It scared me straight, Leonard.
那電影把寶寶我嚇乖了，萊納德
Hey, I've been thinking. I was being petty. You can have my helium. Thank you, Barry.
我想了想，是我太小氣了，你們可以用我的氦氣。謝謝你，巴里
But you have to add my name to your paper. That's preposterous.
但你們的論文得加上我的名字，太荒謬了
I don't know, seems fair. You can't do it without me.
我覺得挺公平的，沒我你們也做不成實(shí)驗(yàn)
Can you give us a minute? Take your time.
給我們一分鐘，慢慢商量
I'll walk out backwards for dramatic effect. I don't like being extorted like this. Especially by him of all people.
為了做效果，我會(huì)慢慢倒退出去，我不喜歡這樣被敲詐，尤其還是被他
Me neither, but what other choice do we have? I promise this is the last time.
我也不喜歡，可我們別無選擇，我保證這是最后一次
It's says right here on the Wikipedia "A Mexican standoff is a confrontation between at least three parties."
維基百科上寫著呢"墨西哥對峙是由至少三方相對而立的結(jié)果"
How can you trust Wikipedia if they use "between" to refer to three parties?
你怎么敢信維基百科,他們居然用"相對而立"形容三方
They should've used "among," right? Or "amongst," if they were feeling whimsically archaic.
它們應(yīng)該用三足鼎立，對不對?或者鼎分三足，如果他們想帶點(diǎn)古風(fēng)古韻
All right, enough with the chitchat. Are we gonna watch Ernest Goes to Jail or not?
好了，別聊這些閑話了,我們到底還看不看《監(jiān)獄寶貝蛋》了,
Absolutely. But don't be surprised if this movie sets you on the straight and narrow.
當(dāng)然了,但如果這部片子把你嚇到從此老實(shí)做人,你可別太吃驚
I am open to change.
我這人樂于改變
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