第九季:第2集 挽救婚姻的方法(下)
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Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and welcome to "Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun With Flags." You may notice that I'm holding a remote control.
大家好，我是謝爾頓·庫(kù)伯博士，歡迎收看謝爾頓·庫(kù)珀出品的《有趣的旗幟》。你可能注意到我手上拿著遙控器
That's because my cameraperson and cohost, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, has chosen to end her relationship with me.
那是因?yàn)槲业臄z影師兼主持搭檔艾米·法拉·福勒博士選擇中止了與我之間的感情關(guān)系
I'm going to pause here to let that sink in. Okay. If you need to pause a little longer, just click the pause button. But the show must go on.
我先暫停一會(huì)，讓你們消化一下，好了，如果你需要更多時(shí)間消化，請(qǐng)按下你的暫停鍵，但我的節(jié)目還得繼續(xù)
And thankfully, all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.
萬(wàn)幸的是，我前女友的一切功能，我的右手都可以取代
Anyway, let's not spend any more time talking about her. We're here to talk about flags.
好了，我們不要再提她了，我們節(jié)目的重點(diǎn)是旗幟
Tonight's theme: flags of countries that have been torn apart and the women I have a feeling were responsible.
今天的主題是國(guó)破人亡的國(guó)家國(guó)旗以及我認(rèn)為該對(duì)此負(fù)責(zé)的紅顏禍水們
You guys have any idea how much it costs to see a marriage counselor? $250 an hour. Why?
你們知道接受婚姻咨詢需要多少錢嗎？每小時(shí)250刀，怎么了
How do you know? Bernadette and I have occasionally gone to one to, you know, stay on top of things.
你怎么知道？博納黛特和我偶爾會(huì)去參加一次，防范于未然嘛
And I'm just hearing about this now?
而我卻是頭一次聽(tīng)說(shuō)這事
Dude, just because we're best friends doesn't mean that I have to tell you everything that goes on.
老弟，雖然我倆是好基友，但不代表我非得把所有事都告訴你吧
You don't have to, you should want to.
你不是非得要，而是應(yīng)該主動(dòng)想要
Oh, great, there's Mandy. Why are marine biologists always so cute?
這下好了，曼蒂來(lái)了。海洋生物學(xué)家怎么都這么可愛(ài)
I don't know, but I'd like to get lost in her Bermuda Triangle.
我不知道，但我愿迷失在她的百慕大"三角洲"中
That's not helpful. Then I won't say I'd like to cover threequarters of her surface area.
你這話一點(diǎn)用都沒(méi)有，那我就不告訴你，我還想覆蓋她表面面積的四分之三了
Are we done? Not yet, this is fun. Ooh, I know. I'd let her free my willy. Where you going?
你們說(shuō)完了嗎？沒(méi)，玩得正開(kāi)心呢，有了，我想讓她解放我的"殺人鯨"。你要去哪兒
I'm gonna ask her if she'd be willing to talk to Penny, tell her she has nothing to worry about.
我要去問(wèn)她愿不愿意跟佩妮聊聊，告訴佩妮根本不用擔(dān)心
Leonard, wait. What?
萊納德，等等，怎么了
I'd like to SpongeBob her SquarePants. Now we are done.
我還想用海綿洗她的小褲褲（海綿寶寶）。好了，我們說(shuō)完了
Oh, hi, Leonard. What's up? Uh, do you mind if I sit? Sure.
萊納德，你好嗎？我能坐下嗎？當(dāng)然
So, um, I've been thinking a lot about you and me and... the boat.
那個(gè)，我一直在想我倆在船上的事
What about it? You know... what we did, when we were drunk.
怎么了？你知道...我們喝醉以后做的那些事
Oh, no, did I sleep with you, too? No, we just made out.
不會(huì)吧，我也跟你睡了嗎？不，我們只是親熱了
Oh. Well, good for me. So what can I do for you?
老天保佑我啊，那你來(lái)找我干什么
Uh, okay, well, um, I got married recently.
好吧，我最近結(jié)婚了
Oh, congratulations! To Sheldon?
恭喜你，和謝爾頓嗎
Never gets old. No, no, to a girl.
這個(gè)笑話永遠(yuǎn)都好笑。不，是和一個(gè)女孩
Anyway, I told her what happened between you and me, and she's concerned about us seeing each other at work.
總之，我告訴了她我倆的事，于是她擔(dān)心我們上班時(shí)總見(jiàn)面會(huì)出事
It was just a kiss. Why would you even tell her?
不過(guò)是親一下而已，你干嘛告訴她
Because I didn't want there to be any secrets between us.
因?yàn)槲也幌雽?duì)她有所隱瞞
Is that really the reason? What else would it be?
真的是因?yàn)檫@原因嗎？不然還能是什么
I don't know. Sounds like you're trying to sabotage the relationship.
我不知道，聽(tīng)起來(lái)像是你故意要破壞你們的感情
No, I don't think so. Although, Penny did say exactly that.
不，不是這樣的，不過(guò)，佩妮也說(shuō)了同樣的話
Okay, well, that's something to think about.
那你可得好好思考一下了
You know, on some level, I've always believed that I don't deserve a woman like her.
在潛意識(shí)里，我總是覺(jué)得我配不上她這樣的女人
Oh, you're gonna think about that right here?
你要在這里思考嗎
I mean, she's really beautiful. She could have any guy she wants.
她真的超漂亮，各種帥哥她都能泡到手
Which is probably why it took her so many years to tell me she loved me.
所以花了好多年時(shí)間她才對(duì)我說(shuō)她愛(ài)我
Maybe you should talk to a therapist about this.
這事你去找咨詢師聊聊吧
Too expensive. You'd think I'd be used to women withholding their love. I mean, my mother did.
太貴了，我可能習(xí)慣了女人不對(duì)我表達(dá)愛(ài)意，我媽媽就是
I mean, no matter how hard I tried, she just didn't have any interest in me. Imagine that.
不管我有多努力，她就是對(duì)我不感興趣。好慘哦
I wonder if that's why I have such a dysfunctional relationship with Sheldon.
我懷疑也許這就是為什么我會(huì)跟謝爾頓有這么不正常的關(guān)系
I had a dream the other night that I was in a cave and I was nursing a baby, but the baby had Sheldon's head on it.
某晚我做夢(mèng)夢(mèng)見(jiàn)我在一個(gè)山洞里哺育一個(gè)嬰兒，但這個(gè)嬰兒長(zhǎng)著謝爾頓的腦袋
And your wife is worried about me?
而你妻子擔(dān)心的人卻是我嗎
Hey, Leonard! When you're done, we came up with a bunch more.
萊納德，你說(shuō)完就過(guò)來(lái)，我們又想到了好多段子
Then the Czech Republic says to Slovakia, "I don't think you understand how being broken up works!" Can you believe that?
然后捷克共和國(guó)對(duì)斯洛伐克說(shuō)"看來(lái)你不太懂分手應(yīng)該怎么樣"，你能相信嗎
You'd think that the Czech Republic would try to hold on to what it had, given that it's not as young as it used to be.
你以為捷克共和國(guó)會(huì)珍惜自己僅有的機(jī)會(huì)，畢竟它也不年輕了
And I don't see any other countries lining up to invade its southern borders.
而且我也沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò)哪個(gè)國(guó)家在排隊(duì)要侵略她"南線"（下邊）的
I'm gonna kill him. But enough about the Czech Republic.
我要?dú)⒘怂菘斯埠蛧?guó)就說(shuō)到這里
Let's talk about the time Moldova made Romania a birthday cake and Romania said it tasted good even though it didn't. And yet Romania gets dumped.
我們?cè)僬f(shuō)說(shuō)摩爾多瓦給羅馬尼亞做了一個(gè)生日蛋糕，羅馬尼亞說(shuō)好吃，其實(shí)并不然，結(jié)果羅馬尼亞卻被甩了
I'll pause here while you mull that one over. I know, right?
我暫停一下等你理清楚，的確很扯對(duì)吧
So, you said you had something to tell me.
說(shuō)吧，不是說(shuō)有事跟我講嗎
Okay, yeah, um, do you remember when you accused me of trying to sabotage our wedding?
對(duì)，還記得你指責(zé)我故意破壞我們的婚禮嗎
I've been thinking about it, and you might be right. But the good news is that I'm pretty sure I know why.I'm listening.
我也想了一下，也許你說(shuō)得對(duì)。但好消息是我知道自己為啥這么做。洗耳恭聽(tīng)
Penny, after all these years, I still feel like maybe I don't deserve you.
佩妮，盡管過(guò)了這么多年我還覺(jué)得自己配不上你
Okay, that is the lamest excuse you could've possibly come up with. But I get it.
行了，這是你能胡扯的借口中最爛的一個(gè)了，但我理解
You do? Yeah. Sometimes I worry you're gonna wake up and leave me for someone more like you.
是嗎，是啊，有時(shí)我擔(dān)心一覺(jué)醒來(lái)，你會(huì)為像你這樣的女人棄我而去
I don't even understand why you're with someone like me.
我自己都不理解為什么你會(huì)跟我這種男人在一起
Why would I want to be with someone like me?
我為什么還要找個(gè)像我這樣的女人呢
You know what I mean. And, you know, maybe the way I've been reacting was me sabotaging this, too.
你懂我的意思，也許我的某些反應(yīng)也是在搞破壞
Well, how about we stop being so scared of losing each other and just be together?
不如我們不要害怕失去彼此而是要好好在一起
That sounds nice. Good.
這主意不錯(cuò)。好的
Because... I've loved you since the moment we met, and I will keep loving you until the end of time.
因?yàn)?..自從見(jiàn)到你的那一刻，我便愛(ài)上了你，我會(huì)一輩子愛(ài)你，至死不渝
Oh, my God, that is the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me. Yeah?
天啊，這是我聽(tīng)過(guò)最美的情話，是嗎
That's because you're beautiful, and your beauty fills my heart with love and song.
那是因?yàn)槟隳敲疵?，美到我心中滿溢著愛(ài)與歌
It's getting kind of cheesy, Leonard.
越說(shuō)越爛俗了哦，萊納德
If you think that's cheesy, buckle up. Penny Hofstadter, will you please stay married to me?
還有更爛俗的呢，準(zhǔn)備好了。佩妮·霍夫斯塔德，你愿意跟我維持婚姻嗎
Oh, damn it, you topped it.
討厭，你的爛俗再創(chuàng)新高峰了
Should we go to the bedroom and make this marriage official?
是不是該入洞房，把成親最后一步給"辦"了
Yes, please! Okay! Okay.
好，拜托了，好的
Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift.
謝爾頓，沒(méi)想到你會(huì)送我們結(jié)婚禮物
I don't know why you're so surprised. I watch movies; I see what people do.
這有什么好驚訝的，我看電影，看得到別人怎么做
What is this? Plane tickets and hotel reservations for a weekend away in San Francisco.
這是什么？周末往返舊金山的機(jī)票以及酒店預(yù)訂
That's so great! Yeah, there's Fisherman's Wharf and Alcatraz and cable cars. We're gonna have so much fun.
太棒了。沒(méi)錯(cuò)，那里有漁人碼頭，惡魔島還有纜車，我們肯定玩得超開(kāi)心
We? Is there a problem? Oh, no, no! I just, I said, "Whee!"
我們？有問(wèn)題嗎？沒(méi)有沒(méi)有，我說(shuō)的是"我們耶"
How dare you go on the Internet and say mean things about me and compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia?!
你膽敢在網(wǎng)上說(shuō)我壞話，還把我的生殖器比喻成捷克斯洛伐克南部
You saw through that one, did you?
你看完那集了，是嗎
I don't know what you were thinking, but take the video down now!
我不知道你在想什么，但馬上把視頻撤了
She watched it. I'm gonna get that girl back.
她看了，我一定會(huì)把那妞追回來(lái)
I only watched it because you emailed it to me with the subject line: "This is gonna make you mad"!
我之所以會(huì)看，是因?yàn)槟惆l(fā)郵件給我，主題是"看完氣死你"
She was listening through the door. She wants me.
她在門外偷聽(tīng)，她想要奴家
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