聽美劇學(xué)英語_生活大爆炸第三季 第16集 (下)
Sheldon Cooper. Good morning, Your Honor.
謝爾頓·庫珀 早上好 法官大人
Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in prose. That is to say, representing himself.
我是謝爾頓·庫珀博士 自我辯護(hù) 也就是說 代表我自己
I know what it means. I went to law school.
我知道什么意思 我讀過法律學(xué)校
And yet you wound up in traffic court.
結(jié)果卻在審理交通法庭
Anyway, if it would please the court, I'd like to begin with an opening statement.
不管怎樣 法官允許的話 我想做個(gè)開庭陳述
The court would advise you to make it quick,
法官會(huì)建議你簡(jiǎn)短點(diǎn)
as the court had a diceylooking breakfast burrito this morning and just took an Imodium.
因?yàn)榉ü僭缟铣粤丝赡莛t了的玉米煎餅 而且剛吃了易蒙停(止瀉藥)
A quick opening statement. Like a milking stool, my case rests on three legs.
快速的開場(chǎng)陳述如同一個(gè)擠奶凳 本案有三個(gè)立足點(diǎn)
I will demonstrate that I was improperly instructed in driving
我要論證的是我在駕駛過程中受到一個(gè)女人的誤導(dǎo)
by a woman whose lack of respect for society borders on the sociopathic.
這個(gè)女人缺乏社會(huì)上對(duì)反社會(huì)界定的基本認(rèn)識(shí)
I will argue that the emergency met the legal doctrine of quod est necessarium est licitum that which is necessary is legal.
我要爭(zhēng)辯的是緊急情況下的法律原理是需要即合法也就是需要即合法
But first, I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue.
但首先 我要提出第六條修正案(美國權(quán)利法案)
I'm unable to confront my accuser, a nonhuman entity, to wit, a camera.
我無法與控方對(duì)峙 因?yàn)榭胤绞且慌_(tái)非人類機(jī)器也就是攝像機(jī)
So, to sum up: improper instruction; quod est necessarium est licitum; Sixth Amendment. My milk stool is complete.
所以 綜上所述 錯(cuò)誤指導(dǎo) 加上"需要即合法"的原理 還有第六條修正案 我的擠奶凳辨述完畢
Impressive. Thank you. Guilty. Pay the cashier.
佩服佩服 謝謝 罪名成立 去付錢吧
I object. You're completely ignoring the law.
我反對(duì) 你這是在無視法律
No, I'm following the law. I'm ignoring you. Really?
不 我遵守法律 只是在無視你 是嗎
I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddy table of yours.
提醒你一下 我可是業(yè)內(nèi)頂尖人士 你卻坐在桌子后面過家家
Dr. Cooper, before I find you in contempt
庫珀博士 我給你個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)為你最后的言論道歉
and throw you in jail, I'm going to give you a chance to apologize for that last remark.
不然我要視你為蔑視法庭把你扔進(jìn)監(jiān)獄
I am a scientist. I never apologize for the truth.
我可是個(gè)科學(xué)家 我才不會(huì)為陳述事實(shí)而道歉
That's my spot.
那是我的位置
I can't wait to ask Stan Lee why he insists on giving all his characters first and last names that start with the same letter.
我等不及要問斯坦·李為什么他筆下每個(gè)角色的姓和名開頭字母都是一樣的
Oh, come on. Why would you do that?
得了 你這是何必（以下均為驚奇漫畫人物）
Bruce Banner, Reed Richards, Sue Storm, Stephen Strange, Otto Octavius, Silver Surfer, Peter Parker, oh, and worst of all,J. Jonah Jameson, Jr.
布魯斯·班納 里德·理查 蘇珊·斯湯 斯蒂芬·史催博士 奧拓·八爪博士和銀影俠 彼得·帕克 還有最夸張的小約翰·約拿·詹姆森
Okay, I'm cutting. I'm not gonna talk to Stan Lee after you cheese him off.
好吧 我要插在你前面 免得斯坦·李被你惹毛了我遭殃
Hey. Sheldon's in jail.
嗨 謝爾頓進(jìn)了監(jiān)獄
Sheldon's in jail?! You called it.
啥 謝爾頓進(jìn)了監(jiān)獄?!被你說中了
For what? What do you think?
怎么搞的 你覺得呢
For doing the same crap he always does, except to a judge.
就是他平時(shí)一貫的找抽風(fēng)格 只不過法官不吃這一套
He has to stay in there until he apologizes.
他不道歉就出不來
So tell him to apologize.
那就讓他道歉啊
Oh, gee, thanks, Leonard. That didn't occur to me.
多謝提醒 萊納德 你以為我沒想過嗎
If he doesn't apologize by 5:00, he is going to spend the night in jail.
如果他五點(diǎn)前還不道歉 就得在監(jiān)獄里過夜了
Oh, no, that's terrible. Ooh, the line's moving. Got to go. Bye.
哦不 真是糟糕 哇 隊(duì)伍動(dòng)了 掛了 回見
Excuse me? Excuse me, jailor? What?
有人嗎 獄卒在嗎 咋了
I need to use the restroom. Knock yourself out.
我要上廁所 在那邊 自便
That's the toilet? Well, it ain't a wishing well.
這算是馬桶? 不然你以為是許愿池嗎
Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.
請(qǐng)轉(zhuǎn)告法官 我準(zhǔn)備向他道歉
Look at that. "To my friend, Leonard. " From Stan Lee, Excelsior!"
看啊 致吾友 萊納德 獨(dú)行俠 斯坦·李" 驚奇漫畫的一個(gè)系列 后改稱Loners
Awesome. Mine says, "To my friend, Howard. From Stan Lee, Excelsior!"
牛逼 我上面寫的是 "致吾友 霍華德" 獨(dú)行俠 斯坦·李
Mine says, "To Raj, from Stan Lee."
我上面寫的是 "致拉杰 斯坦·李"
That's 'cause you pissed him off about his character names.
因?yàn)槟慵m結(jié)他的角色名 把他惹毛了
Hey, I didn't even mention Dum Dum Dugan or Green Goblin,
搞毛 我還沒提達(dá)姆彈頭杜甘和綠魔
Matt Murdock, Pepper Potts, Victor Von Doom, oh, and worst of all, Millie the Model.
馬特·默多克和小辣椒波茲 末日博士 還有最夸張的米莉模特
We're home. Oh, hey, buddy. How'd it go?
我們回來了 伙計(jì) 情況如何
You know very well how it went.
你明明都知道了還問個(gè)屁
Yeah, but we all want to hear it from you.
是啊 但我們想聽你親口說
I was found guilty and fined $533.
我被判有罪 還被罰了533美元
I'm going to write you a check for that.
我會(huì)寫張支票給你
As long as you promise to put it in your drawer and never cash it, like the others.
只要你答應(yīng)我藏在抽屜里 別去兌換 就和其他那些東西一樣
I also now have three points on a driver's license I do not yet possess, and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology,
我還沒有駕照 但上面已經(jīng)被扣了三點(diǎn) 還被迫道了個(gè)冤枉歉
simply because I refuse to urinate in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals.
只因?yàn)槲揖芙^在一群犯人面前就著個(gè)不銹鋼尿盆排尿
Plus, you didn't get to meet Stan Lee.
再加上你錯(cuò)過了和斯坦·李見面
Okay, that's enough, Howard. The poor guy's had a tough time.
好了 別刺激他了 霍華德 這可憐蟲夠難受的了
He had to spend the entire afternoon in jail wearing that suit.
一個(gè)下午都待在監(jiān)獄 還穿成這幅德行
You're right, so it would be cruel to mention that after he finished signing autographs,
說得對(duì) 所以我們也別提在親筆簽名后 他帶斯圖爾特和咱一起去吃了意式冰淇淋
Stanley took Stuart and us out for gelato.
這就太殘酷了
You had gelato with Stan Lee?
你們和斯坦·李共進(jìn)意式冰淇淋?
He said we could call him Stan. Except for Raj.
他還允許我們叫他斯坦 除了拉杰
Well, I hope you're satisfied, Penny.
你這下滿意了吧 佩妮
You are responsible for all the evil that has be fallen me today.
今天我所遭受的磨難 這全都是你的錯(cuò)
Okay, I realize that... Not finished.
好吧 我知道... 我還沒說完呢
It is because of you that I now have a criminal record,
都是因?yàn)槟愫Φ梦矣辛朔缸镉涗?/div>
and it is because of you that I missed out on having gelato with Stan Lee.
還因?yàn)槟?害得我錯(cuò)過了和斯坦·李共進(jìn)意式冰淇淋
Okay, maybe you'll have another chance to have... No, no. 好吧
也許以后還有機(jī)會(huì)... 不可能了
I will never have another chance to have gelato with Stan Lee
再也沒有這種機(jī)會(huì)了
because opportunities to have gelato with Stan Lee come but once in a lifetime.
因?yàn)楹退固?middot;李一起共進(jìn)意式冰淇淋的機(jī)會(huì)一生只有一次
The Moving Finger writes, and having writ, moves on
手起筆落白紙黑字再難改(出自《魯拜集》)
Did he just somehow give me the finger?
他剛是朝我豎中指了嗎
Not just the finger. The moving finger.
可不只是手指 還揮起了小手
Hey Stuart. Oh hey Penny.
你好 斯圖爾特 你好 佩妮
What's going on? Nothing.
怎么了 沒什么
I'm just getting ready to close up and... head out.
我正準(zhǔn)備打烊 然后出發(fā)
Cool. Got any fun plans?
真好 晚上有安排
Oh yeah. Big night tonight. Gonna share a can of tuna with the cat.
對(duì) 今晚有重大安排 跟只貓一起共享金槍魚罐頭
Oh nice. Not even my cat.I just feed it. Some nights it doesn't even show up.
真好 那甚至不是我的貓 我就喂喂它 有幾晚它甚至都不會(huì)出現(xiàn)
Oh okay. Well I was hoping um you could do me a favor.
好吧 我希望 你能幫我個(gè)忙
Sure yeah name it.
義不容辭 說吧
Well I'm kind of responsible for Sheldon missing Stan Lee and I really want to make it up to him.
這次謝爾頓沒見上斯坦·李 我得負(fù)一定責(zé)任 我真的很想彌補(bǔ)他
So I was hoping you could give me his phone number so maybe I can arrange for them to meet.
所以希望你能給我他的電話 也許我能安排他們見個(gè)面
Oh I'm sorry I don't have his phone number.
抱歉 我沒他電話
Damn. All right. Thank you.
該死 好吧 謝了
Wait. I have his address.
等等 我有他地址
Really? Great! But I can't give it to you.
真的 太好了 但不能告訴你
Then why did you tell me you had it?
那你為什么要提這茬
I don't know. Just chatting.
我不知道 這不聊天嘛
You're looking at a guy who could very well get stood up by a stray cat tonight.
別這樣看著我 我已經(jīng)可憐到連流浪貓都可能放我鴿子
I'm sorry Stuart. Thanks anyway.
抱歉 斯圖爾特 不管怎樣 謝了
Wait. Yeah? Maybe we can make a deal.
等等 怎么了 不如我們做筆交易
What kind of deal?
什么交易
I will give you the address if you go to my cousin's wedding with me.
我告訴你地址 你就陪我去參加我表妹的婚禮
You're extorting a date out of me?
你這是在逼我跟你約會(huì)
I kind of have to. The cousin who's getting married is the cousin I usually go to weddings with.
我沒其他辦法 這次要結(jié)婚的這個(gè)表妹就是以前經(jīng)常陪我參加別人婚禮的那個(gè)
Can I bring Leonard?
我能帶上萊納德嗎
Sure. What the hell. Deal.
當(dāng)然 隨便吧 成交
We'll tell people he's your cousin.
告訴別人他是你表哥就行
This is Stan Lee's front door. We were on Stan Lee's curb
這是斯坦·李家的大門 越過斯坦·李家馬路牙子
then we were on Stan Lee's walk and now we're at Stan Lee's front door. Yup.
走過斯坦·李經(jīng)常走過的路 終于來到了斯坦·李家大門外 對(duì)
Oh Lord you just rang Stan Lee's doorbell. At Stan Lee's house.
天哪 你按了斯坦·李家門鈴 就站在斯坦·李家門外
We're about to go in and have milk and cookies with Stan Lee.
我們就要進(jìn)去跟斯坦·李共享牛奶和點(diǎn)心
Okay sweetie I don't know if we're gonna have cookies or he's just gonna say hi
親愛的 我不確定他是否會(huì)招待我們點(diǎn)心還是直接問候了事
or really what's gonna happen so just let me talk and... Yeah?
還是會(huì)怎么著 所以讓我來跟他談...哪位
Are you Stan Lee? Oh damn.
你就是斯坦·李嗎 見鬼
Hi. I'm Penny. This is my friend Sheldon.
你好 我叫佩妮 這位是我朋友謝爾頓
We're not friends at the moment. Depends on how this goes.
她現(xiàn)在不是我朋友 鑒于此刻形勢(shì)
Right, right. Anyway
好吧 總之
Sheldon here is a huge fan of yours and he was supposed to meet you the other day at the comic book store but he kind of ended up in jail.
謝爾頓是您的超級(jí)粉絲 他原打算那天去漫畫書店參加您的簽名會(huì) 可惜最后進(jìn)了監(jiān)獄
I see. And you thought you'd just come over to my house uninvited?
了解 你們真以為這樣不請(qǐng)自來 就能隨便敲我家門
You said we were invited.
你說過我們是受邀來的
Oh no no I said I'm inviting you to come with me to Stan Lee's house.
不不 我只說我邀請(qǐng)你跟我一起去斯坦·李家
You know you fan boys are unbelievable.
你們這些自稱粉絲的 真是不可思議
Do you think you can just ring my doorbell any time you want?
真以為只要自己高興 隨時(shí)都能按我家門鈴
I mean why don't you just come on in and watch the Lakers game with me?
既然這樣 干嘛不索性進(jìn)門來跟我一起看湖人隊(duì)比賽好了
Well I'm not much of a sports fan but thank you.
我不是很愛好體育 不過感謝邀請(qǐng)
I'm sorry. He doesn't really understand sarcasm.
我很抱歉 他不是很懂什么叫諷刺
Well I'll give him something he'll understand.
好吧 我動(dòng)點(diǎn)真格的 他就會(huì)懂了
Joanie call the police!
瓊妮 快報(bào)警
Nice to meet you.
很高興見到你
Fantastic Four Daredevil, Invincible Iron Man, Happy Hogan Curt Connors...
《神奇四俠》 《夜魔俠》《無敵鋼鐵超人》快樂霍根 蜥蜴博士
Would you just let it go?
你能不能消停會(huì)
And worst of all Fin Fang Foom.
還有最糟糕的非凡龍
Hey where've you been?
你去哪了
I'll tell you where I've been.
我告訴你們我去哪了
You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee and gotten autographed comics but I saw the inside of his house
你們或許跟斯坦·李一起吃了冰激凌還得了他親筆簽名的漫畫 我可是親自進(jìn)了他家
and got an autographed application for a restraining order.
還得到了他親筆簽名的禁制令申請(qǐng)狀
Sweet. Plus I get to hang out with him again at the hearing.
贊 還有 等聽證會(huì)時(shí) 我還能再見到他
This is going to look great hanging next Leonard Nimoy to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy.
掛在我那倫納德·尼莫伊簽名的史波克扮演者 禁制令旁 那一定會(huì)非?？?
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