人生不設(shè)限·為我生命帶來(lái)重大影響的三種人

你可能不像我一樣，需要一個(gè)訓(xùn)練有素的人一個(gè)星期7天、一天24小時(shí)等著幫你，但我們都需要某種類型的看護(hù)，例如可以分享點(diǎn)子的人、可以提供最誠(chéng)實(shí)建言的人、可以鼓勵(lì)我們的人，或是良師益友和人生典范。

Chances are you don't need a trained person to be there for you twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. But we all need care-givers of some sort, someone to share ideas with, someone who will always give us honest advice, or someone who serves as an encourager, mentor, or role model.

承認(rèn)自己并非無(wú)所不知或需要幫忙，是要謙遜和勇氣的。我之前提過(guò)，當(dāng)你意識(shí)到自己的人生目的，并投入追求夢(mèng)想時(shí)，總會(huì)出現(xiàn)一些詆毀你的人。幸好，其他人也會(huì)出現(xiàn)——有時(shí)是在你最沒預(yù)料到的時(shí)候來(lái)替你打氣，或者為你指點(diǎn)迷津。你應(yīng)該為他們的出現(xiàn)作好準(zhǔn)備，因?yàn)楦@些人聯(lián)結(jié)，會(huì)改變你的生命。

It takes humility and courage to admit that you don't know everything or that you could use a hand. I mentioned earlier that when you have a sense of purpose and have committed to pursuing your dreams, you will always have a few detractors. Fortunately others will also appear—sometimes where you least expect it—to give you a boost, or to offer guidance. You should be ready for them because bonding with them can change your life.

有三種人曾經(jīng)為我的生命帶來(lái)重大影響：良師益友、人生典范與人生旅伴。

There are three types of guides whose relationships have impacted my life: Mentors, Role Models, and Fellow Travelers.

良師益友是已經(jīng)到達(dá)你向往境界的人，但他們也是分享你的夢(mèng)想的支持者與鼓勵(lì)者，真心希望你能成功。通常父母是你天生的良師益友，而如果你運(yùn)氣好，會(huì)有其他人愿意在你生命中擔(dān)任這樣的角色。我最早的良師益友之一是我的山姆舅舅，他擁有創(chuàng)業(yè)家的心思、發(fā)明家的創(chuàng)造力以及探險(xiǎn)家的視野。山姆舅舅對(duì)新經(jīng)驗(yàn)總是抱持開放態(tài)度，當(dāng)我年紀(jì)還小的時(shí)候，他就鼓勵(lì)我展翅飛翔，還告訴我，人生唯一真正的障礙，是我們自己為自己制造出來(lái)的。他的指引與鼓勵(lì)，給了我擴(kuò)展視野的勇氣。

Mentors are people who've been where you want to go, but they are also supporters and encouragers who share your dreams and truly want you to succeed. Your parents are natural mentors, but if you are lucky you will find others willing to step up in that role throughout your life. One of my earliest was my mother's brother, my uncle Sam Radojevic, who still lives in Australia with his great wife and wonderful children. He has the heart of an entrepreneur, the ingenuity of an inventor, and the vision of an explorer. Uncle Sam is always open to new experiences, and when I was young he encouraged me to take wing. He told me that the only true obstacles in life are those we make for ourselves. His guidance and support gave me the courage to expand my vision.

我知道許多人一輩子都背負(fù)著悔恨的重?fù)?dān)，但山姆舅舅從不回頭看。即使犯了錯(cuò)，他依然帶著壓抑不住、如孩童般熱愛生命的精神，繼續(xù)前進(jìn)，尋求下一次機(jī)會(huì)。

I've known many people who carry the burden of regret throughout their lives, but Uncle Sam has never been one to look back. Even when he makes mistakes, he always pushes forward to the next opportunity with the irrepressible spirit of a child in love with life.

山姆舅舅鼓勵(lì)我無(wú)論如何都要向前看，而且他總是對(duì)我有信心，即使有時(shí)我并不那么看好自己。我13歲時(shí)，他跟我說(shuō)：“力克，有一天你會(huì)跟總統(tǒng)、國(guó)王和女王握手哦。”那時(shí)他甚至相信上帝對(duì)我有個(gè)大計(jì)劃。山姆舅舅真是一位超棒的良師益友!

Uncle Sam encourages me to likewise keep looking ahead, and he has always believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. I was thirteen when he told me, "Nicholas, you will shake the hands of presidents, kings, and queens someday." He believed even then that God had a big plan for me. What a great person to have as a mentor!

我鼓勵(lì)你去尋找你的良師益友。不過(guò)你要知道，真正的良師益友并不只是拉拉隊(duì)，一旦認(rèn)為你偏離軌道，他們也會(huì)直言不諱。良師益友的批評(píng)與贊美，你都應(yīng)該聽，因?yàn)樗麄兪钦嫘臑槟阒搿?/p>

I encourage you to reach out for your own mentors. But understand that true mentors aren't just cheerleaders—they will tell you when they think you are wandering off course. You have to be willing to listen to their criticisms as well as their praise, knowing that they have your best interests at heart.

我也非常景仰我表哥唐肯。小時(shí)候，我總是很怕麻煩人家?guī)胰?，他就跟我說(shuō)了一句話，要我銘記在心：“當(dāng)你需要上廁所，盡管去跟別人說(shuō)。”不只是他和其他胡哲家族的堂兄弟姐妹一直愛著我、支持我，唐肯和他媽媽更是在我展開演講生涯初期，幫助我克服恐懼。

I also looked up to my cousin Duncan Jurisic. When I was a child, I'd often be afraid to inconvenience someone to take me to the loo, so he helped me come up with a line to remember. He said, "When you need to go, just let someone know." Not only did he and my other Vujicic cousins continue to love and support me, but Duncan and his mother, Danilka, helped me overcome my fears in the early days of my speaking career. Their family, who ran the Australian Hospitality Group in Melbourne, offered me their wise and valuable guidance.

人生典范也已經(jīng)到達(dá)你向往的境界，但通常不是像良師益友一樣離你那么近。你往往是從遠(yuǎn)處看著他們，研究他們的動(dòng)向，閱讀他們的著作，并跟著走上他們的職業(yè)生涯，以他們?yōu)榘駱?。這些人通常是你那個(gè)圈子里的名人，因?yàn)楣Τ擅投鴤涫茏鹁?。我一直很敬重的人生典范之一是葛理翰牧師，他活出了《馬可福音》第16章第15節(jié)經(jīng)文的內(nèi)容：“你們往普天下去，傳福音給萬(wàn)民。”這句話也激勵(lì)了我。

Role Models have been where you want to go, but they aren't usually as close to you as mentors. Usually you watch them from afar, study their moves, read their books, and follow their careers as models for your own. Often these are celebrated figures in your field, people whose success has made them famous and respected. One of my long-term role models whom I've always wanted to meet is the Reverend Billy Graham. He has lived the words from Mark 16:15 that also are my inspiration: "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature."

對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，還有些人是介于良師益友和人生典范之間，例如維克與愛爾希夫婦。我?guī)缀趺磕甓紩?huì)去拜訪他們一次，而他們總是鼓勵(lì)我要成為一個(gè)更好的基督徒、更好的人。住在澳大利亞的維克與愛爾希在南太平洋各個(gè)偏遠(yuǎn)的角落建立了超過(guò)65個(gè)教會(huì)和布道團(tuán)，他們是我以宣教士身份發(fā)揮影響力的榜樣。這對(duì)夫婦安靜地工作，沒有太多宣傳，也從來(lái)不自吹自擂，但他們真的影響了許許多多的靈魂。

There has to be a place somewhere between mentors and role models for folks like Vic and Elsie Schlatter, whom I've visited at least once a year nearly every year of my life. They always inspire me to be a better Christian and a better person. They live in Australia, but they have planted more than sixty-five churches and missions in far-flung corners of the South Pacific. They are my models for making a difference as missionaries. They work quietly, without a lot of publicity, and they never puff themselves up, but they've made a world of difference for many, many souls.

要認(rèn)出人生旅伴，對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)有點(diǎn)難度，因?yàn)槲业娜松叩膶?shí)在不是傳統(tǒng)的路。所謂的人生旅伴通常是指同儕、同事，以及其他跟你有著類似目標(biāo)、走在同方向路上的人，他們甚至可能是你的對(duì)手，不過(guò)是友善的對(duì)手。你們憑借學(xué)習(xí)抱持豐盛而不是匱乏的心態(tài)彼此鼓勵(lì)、互相扶持。

Identifying a Fellow Traveler is a bit tough for me because my life has followed a rather unconventional path. Fellow travelers are usually peers, co-workers, and others with similar goals to yours, who are walking on a parallel road. They might even be rivals, but friendly rivals. You encourage and support each other by practicing an abundance mentality rather than a scarcity mentality.

如果你相信豐盛，就會(huì)相信上帝的祝福永遠(yuǎn)足夠給每一個(gè)人——足夠的圓滿、足夠的機(jī)會(huì)、足夠的快樂和足夠的愛。我希望你可以采用這個(gè)觀點(diǎn)，因?yàn)檫@會(huì)讓你向他人敞開。如果你總是認(rèn)為這個(gè)世界的資源稀少、機(jī)會(huì)有限，那么你可能會(huì)把人生旅伴視為威脅，認(rèn)為他們會(huì)奪走一切，什么也不留給你。競(jìng)爭(zhēng)可以是非常健康的，因?yàn)樗o了你動(dòng)力，而且你總是會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，你要什么，就會(huì)有人也要什么。但如果你抱持著豐盛的心態(tài)，就會(huì)相信人人有賞，所以競(jìng)爭(zhēng)比較像是盡力做到最好，并且鼓勵(lì)別人也同樣這么做。

When you believe in abundance, you believe there are enough of God's blessings—enough fulfillment, enough opportunity, enough happiness, and enough love—out there for everyone. I encourage you to take that point of view because it opens you up to other people. If you tend to think of the world as a place of scarce resources and limited opportunities, then you'll see fellow travelers as threats who'll take what is out there and leave nothing for you. Competition can be healthy because it motivates you, and you will always find others who want what you want. With an abundance mentality, you believe there are rewards enough for everyone, so competition is more about striving to do your best and encouraging others to do the same.

豐盛的心態(tài)讓你跟人生旅伴以一種戰(zhàn)友的感覺互相支持、并肩同行。我從跟瓊妮·艾瑞克森·塔達(dá)的友誼中認(rèn)識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)，我們的生命旅程走的路很相似。前面提過(guò)，早在認(rèn)識(shí)她之前，瓊妮就是我的人生典范;到了美國(guó)，她成為我的良師益友，幫助我安頓生活;如今，她成了我的人生旅伴，常常給我明智的建言，并帶著同理心聽我傾訴。

An abundance mentality allows you to walk alongside your fellow travelers with feelings of camaraderie and mutual support. I learned that in my friendship with Joni Eareckson Tada, who has traveled a similar path to mine. As I described earlier, Joni was a role model for me long before I knew her; she became a mentor, helping me get established in the United States; and now she is a fellow traveler, offering wise counsel and a sympathetic ear.

另一個(gè)在各方面幫助我的人是賈姬，我十多歲時(shí)，她住在我家附近。盡管她已婚、有小孩，但是當(dāng)我要傾吐心事時(shí)——無(wú)論好事、壞事，賈姬總是找得出時(shí)間聆聽。她的年紀(jì)沒有大我很多，所以比較像是一個(gè)有智慧的好友，而不是嚴(yán)格的長(zhǎng)輩。

Another person who has been there for me in all sorts of ways is Jackie Davison, who lived around the corner from my family when I was a teenager. She was married with young children, but Jackie always found time to listen to me as I spilled my guts about whatever was on my mind, good or bad. She was close enough in age that she was more of a wise friend than a judgmental adult. I have such love for her family, and I became an unofficial big brother to her kids, helping them with their homework or just hanging out.

2002年，我的大學(xué)學(xué)業(yè)和個(gè)人生活都很不順，常常走神，也很迷惘。我跟交往多年的女友分手，整個(gè)人很情緒化，所以去找賈姬，想請(qǐng)她幫我弄清楚到底發(fā)生了什么事。我對(duì)她掏心掏肺，而她只是雙手緊握，靜靜地坐著聽我講。突然問(wèn)，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己正把情緒重?fù)?dān)全部卸下，轉(zhuǎn)到她身上，她卻沒有反應(yīng)。最后，我停下來(lái)說(shuō)：“我該怎么辦?告訴我!”賈姬微笑著，雙眼發(fā)亮，簡(jiǎn)單地回答一句：“贊美上帝。”

Back in 2002 I was having a rough time in my university studies and in my personal life, and it was distracting and disorienting. I'd broken up with a longtime girlfriend and was very emotional. So I went to Jackie and asked her to help me understand what had happened. I poured out my heart, but she sat there with her hands clasped, patiently listening without responding. Suddenly it hit me that as I was unloading all this emotional baggage on her, she wasn't reacting. Finally I stopped and said, "What should I do? Tell me!" She smiled and her eyes sparkled as she said simply, "Praise God."

困惑又充滿挫折感的我說(shuō)：“贊美上帝什么?”

Confused and frustrated, I said, "Praise God for what?"

“就是贊美上帝，力克。”

"Just praise God, Nick."

我瞪著地板，心想：“她就只能說(shuō)這個(gè)?這個(gè)女人還真了不起。”

I stared at the fl oor thinking, That's all she has to say? This woman is something else!

接著我突然想到，賈姬是在告訴我：要信任上帝，因?yàn)樗麖奈赐浳?不要相信人的智慧，而是要相信上帝的力量;要順服神，而且就算心里覺得上帝沒有什么好謝的，還是要感謝他;要為了來(lái)自這份痛苦的祝福，而預(yù)先感謝上帝。賈姬有堅(jiān)定的信仰，也常常在我覺得困惑或受傷時(shí)，提醒我順服上帝，因?yàn)樗麑?duì)我們每個(gè)人都有計(jì)劃。

Then it hit me that Jackie was telling me to trust in God and that He hadn't forgotten me. She was telling me that I should put faith not in the wisdom of man but in the power of God. She was telling me to surrender to God and to thank Him, even though I didn't feel He deserved thanks. She was telling me to thank God in advance for blessings that would come of this pain. She has a powerful faith, and she always reminds me, when I feel confused or hurt, to surrender to God, because He has a plan for us all.