別幻想了，他其實(shí)沒那么喜歡你……這幾個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)你一測便知

不斷進(jìn)化的語言讓我們能越來越貼切地表述這個(gè)世界。許多詞語可以表達(dá)“一個(gè)人對你沒什么意思”，可我們卻對此并不熟悉。

What used to be a stricter binary between dating and not dating has turned into a spectrum of "ghosting" to "breadcrumbing" to "haunting" to "orbiting".

曾經(jīng)，回答約會只有“約”與“不約”兩個(gè)選項(xiàng)，而現(xiàn)在，兩個(gè)選項(xiàng)間涵蓋了數(shù)種可能，從“玩消失”到“撒面包屑”到“陰魂不散”再到“衛(wèi)星環(huán)繞”等等。

What do all of these terms mean? Are they happening to you? Or worse, are you doing them to someone else?

這些表達(dá)有何含義?這些事是否發(fā)生在了你身上?或者更糟的是，你就是這樣對待別人的?

Ghosting 玩消失

What is it exactly? You've gone a few nice dates with someone that by all accounts are going well when all of a sudden they disappear.

“玩消失”到底是啥?你與某人幾度約會，兩人都覺相處甚歡，可TA突然就不見人影了。

They didn't type "brb", there was no mention of them not paying their phone bill and having no ability to contact you. They just vanished into thin air.

甚至連“馬上回來”都不再發(fā)給你。不是因?yàn)殡娫捛焚M(fèi)，也不是因?yàn)闊o法回復(fù)，就是不想理你了，憑空消失得無影無蹤。

You can only assume they peacefully passed away. In such a case, you are allowed to actually check your local obituaries.

你也只能當(dāng)TA已平靜離去。碰碰運(yùn)氣，查查當(dāng)?shù)氐挠嚫?，說不定能看見那個(gè)人的名字。

obituary [?'b?t?u?ri]：訃告

Submarining 潛水上浮

Submarining is the follow up to ghosting should the ghoster re-animate themselves. Spooky! Like a sea vessel resurfacing from the depths of the ocean, someone who submarines reappears in your life out of nowhere.

“潛水上浮”是“玩消失”的下一階段，表示“失蹤人口突然回歸”的現(xiàn)象。嚇人吧!那早已不聯(lián)系的某人突然出現(xiàn)在你的生活中，像沉入海底的幽靈船突然又浮上海面。

spooky：幽靈般的;令人毛骨悚然的

They simply bob back in as if they were never gone, as if they don't know the secrets of the ocean's floors.

TA就這樣出現(xiàn)在你面前，如同未曾走開，如同未曾潛入海底探秘。

Breadcrumbing 撒面包屑

Like the name suggests, breadcrumbing is someone who leaves you just hungry enough for a more satiating bite. When someone is breadcrumbing you they're leaving just enough nibbles to whet your appetite but not providing you with any real nourishment.

“撒面包屑”，顧名思義，就是某人欲擒故縱，待你饑渴難耐時(shí)，才給你嘗點(diǎn)甜頭。TA給你撒的都是些面包屑，只算開胃小菜而已，并沒有任何可供飽腹的養(yǎng)分。

satiate ['sei?ieit]：使?jié)M足

whet sb’s appetite (for sth)：引起某人(對某物)的欲望

A text here, a flirty DM there. It's enough to keep you following their trail but beware: When Hansel and Gretel did that they were led to the witch's den.

這邊發(fā)條短信，那里私信撩一下。你也許自己都沒發(fā)現(xiàn)，你順著TA的意思走，走過的這些路，根本就是TA的套路。聽過格林童話里《韓塞爾和葛雷特》的故事嗎?順著面包屑走，看似走向了糖果屋，其實(shí)正是走進(jìn)了邪惡巫婆的老巢。

Haunting 陰魂不散

This is yet another follow up to the ghosting trend, but the person has not fully come back to life like they do when they submarine you.

這種情況也是“玩消失”后的下一階段，但對方不像“潛水上浮”一樣完全回到你身邊。

After radio silence from them because, you know, they've metaphorically died and turned into a ghost, you notice that they're watching your Snaps or Insta stories. They may even boldly like a status of yours or worse, like a comment on your status. They are still dead but their presence lingers.

在放空一段時(shí)間后，你知道TA大概已經(jīng)變成鬼魂了，但又偏偏陰魂不散。你某天居然在網(wǎng)絡(luò)訪客記錄里看見了TA。TA甚至還給你發(fā)的狀態(tài)點(diǎn)了個(gè)贊，或者更甚者，還給下面的評論點(diǎn)贊，膽子可真大!你倆不能死灰復(fù)燃了，可TA在你的生活里依舊有那么點(diǎn)存在感。

Orbiting 衛(wèi)星環(huán)繞

This is a new term where one party keeps in close proximity to the other without fully touching down in any substantive way. They maintain a presence in your atmosphere. They might send signals that they're into you but they're vague enough you're not placing too much meaning on it.

這個(gè)新鮮的表述用來形容某人一直在你身邊周旋，可又不會真地走近，保持著一種說不清道不明的曖昧關(guān)系。TA也許會向你發(fā)出喜歡的信號，但這信號太微弱模糊了，不足以讓你揣測其深意。

substantive [s?b'stænt?v]：有實(shí)質(zhì)的

But they're at every party you attend. They like enough of your online posts that you know they're at least intrigued. It's too much to be coincidence, yet like all space matter there's nothing to physically grasp onto. Don't hold your breath waiting for them to land.

可是，TA會出現(xiàn)在你參加的每一個(gè)派對上，會給你的網(wǎng)上動態(tài)點(diǎn)贊，讓你覺得那個(gè)人至少是對你感興趣的。TA的行為簡直刻意到不像巧合，可就是看得見抓不著。所以，完全不用屏息費(fèi)勁等著TA降落了!

Buoying 立浮標(biāo)

Buoying is the more extreme version of breadcrumbing. Whereas breadcrumbing is lots of little signals, the buoy is one big deed or event that would make you think the person is into you.

“立浮標(biāo)”是“撒面包屑”的更極端版本。如果說“撒面包屑”是給你許多微小信號，那“立浮標(biāo)”就是TA做了一件驚天動地的大事，讓你覺得TA確實(shí)對你有些意思。

buoy [b??]：浮標(biāo)

Maybe they helped you move one weekend or wrote you a gushing 3 am email but since then it's been back to the zone de friends.

也許TA在某個(gè)周末幫你搬家，在凌晨三點(diǎn)發(fā)給你了一封情感強(qiáng)烈的郵件。但之后，你們的關(guān)系又回到了朋友的范疇。

But you have that one memory and you hold onto it like a buoy in the turbulent waves of crushing on people. Despite no other evidence, this keeps your hope afloat.

可TA給你留下的記憶就像茫茫人海中的浮標(biāo)，縱使海浪撲頭蓋來，這浮標(biāo)依然屹立不倒。浮標(biāo)也承載著你的希冀，即使TA再不問津，它也依舊漂浮在那兒。