聽美劇學(xué)英語- 破產(chǎn)姐妹第一季 第124期:看望栗寶

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Hey, my dude. Look at you and your fancy coat. 嘿，伙計。瞧你珠圓玉潤，錦衣華服

Retirement looks good on you.  退休生活過得挺滋潤啊

Told you I'd come by to see you.  說過會來看你

Hooked you up with some carrots.  給你帶了愛吃的胡蘿卜

Bugs Bunny status, like I know you like.  兔八哥的那種，我知道你喜歡

I, uh, I don't know if you got my text.  不知道你收到我短信了沒

Probably not a great signal in here, but...your mom might be a little late. 這里信號不太好吧，但...你媽要晚點來

She's coming though 'cause I know she's dying to see you.  她一定會來的，我知道她超級想見你的

All right, man, who am I kidding? She's not coming. 算了，我在騙誰呢。她不會來了

I know that's hard to hear, and trust me, mothers not showing up, I've been there. 我知道這很殘酷，相信我，苦等老媽不出現(xiàn)對我來說是家常便飯

But, I know wherever she is, she is thinking of you. 但無論她人在哪里，她都會想著你

Okay, that's not true either. Here's the thing. 好吧，這也是假的。告訴你件事

Your mom is a flake.  你媽靠不住

And you got two options, you can sit around feeling sorry for yourself 你有兩個選擇，要么坐在這里自怨自艾

or you can say, "Hey, my mom's not here.  要么自言自語，說"我媽不在

"I can watch tv all day and then go kick in a neighbor's window because I feel like it." 我可以看一整天電視，然后跑去踹鄰居的窗戶，只因我心血來潮"

Hey. Hey, look at me. 喂。喂，看著我

The fact that she's not here is not your fault. It's hers. 她不來，不是你的錯，是她的錯

There, I just saved you, like, 14 inappropriate sexual encounters. 瞧，幸好有我鼓勵你，你才不會誤入歧途，到處亂搞

Hi, Chestnut! Hi, baby. I missed you. 栗寶，寶貝，我想你

I missed you so much. Did you miss me? 我好想你哦，你有想我嗎

So you got all the cake mix?  你最后把蛋糕粉如數(shù)拿齊了嗎

Yes, plus the $23.  對，還拿到了那23美元

And I got you your Pillsbury as well. Paid full price-- it killed me. 我?guī)湍阗I了貝爾堡的蛋糕粉。全價買的，真要命

You are a freak with the coupons.  你就是折價券怪胎

I know. I don't know what came over me. 我知道。我也不知道我當(dāng)時中什么邪了

When I found a way to make free money I forgot about everyone else. 我學(xué)到了免費得餡餅的方法后，我就把其他人拋諸腦后了

Oh, my God. Like my father. Max, I have Ponzi DNA. 天啊。就好比我父親。麥克斯，我有騙子基因

Yeah, cou-Ponzi DNA.  是啊，折"騙"券基因

Must have been hard learning to do everything on your own.  從小就得什么都自學(xué)很辛苦吧

I mean, I don't know how to do any of that stuff either, but, I had a staff of 20. 我是說，我也不會做你剛說的每一件事，可是，我有20個人伺候我呢

Yeah, I got staph at 20.  我20的時候還被葡萄球菌伺候過呢

You know, you may think your secret ingredient is a spoonful of Pillsbury, but it's not. 你可能覺得你的秘方是一勺貝爾堡，其實不然

It's you. It's everything you've been through that makes you who you are. 是你。你所經(jīng)歷的一切造就了今天的你

Someone who fights for a box of tampons and fights for a horse's feelings 會為了一盒衛(wèi)生棉條或一匹馬的感受而奮戰(zhàn)

and even fights for a box of cake mix when a friend in the middle of a cue-Ponzi panic, asks her to. 甚至當(dāng)有朋友深陷折價券不能自拔時，你甚至還會為了一盒蛋糕粉，代友出征

This is the part in the lifetime movie version where I get up to pee. 如果這是生活臺的劇，那劇情就是我該起身尿尿了

I don't know who you're kidding.  我不知道你想騙誰

You watch the entire movie and then you cry.  劇情應(yīng)該是，你看完整部電影，然后你號啕大哭

Listen to her, Chestnut. She thinks she has me all figured out. 瞧她那口氣，栗寶，她自以為多了解我

What she doesn't know is that when it comes to the cupcakes, I have another secret, secret ingredient. 她不知道其實小蛋糕我還留了一手，我有個超級秘方

Oh, don't tell me it's a pinch of Betty Crocker.  別告訴我是少量貝蒂妙廚的蛋糕粉

I can't tell you. It's a secret ingredient.  我不能說，這可是秘方

Okay, it's chocolate methamphetamine.  好吧，是巧克力味的興奮劑

No, it's true. Our slogan should be:  不，是真的。所以我們的口號是

They're so good, you'll rob your grandmother. 小蛋糕如此美味，讓你六親不認(rèn)