聽美劇學(xué)英語-摩登家庭第一季 第24集：照全家福
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Oh, hey, honey. Have a great time at the game. -
Thanks.
玩得開心點(diǎn)哦
謝謝
Oh. Why are you crunching?
你怎么咯吱咯吱的
Ordinarily,
I'm a rule follower,
我一般挺守規(guī)矩的
But when someone tells me I can't
bring my own snacks into their stadium,
可要是不讓我把零食往體育館里帶
That's when I
get a little nuts.
那我可就不"秀豆"了
It's a free country, right?
咱不是自由國家么?
Let's just say it ruffles me...
跟你說老子就是看不慣...
...When some goobers...
那幫無恥小人...
...Tell me I have to spend half my payday...
讓我把半天的工錢...
...On their hot dogs.
...花在他們的熱狗上面
Please, just remember
the family portrait.
別忘了照全家福啊
We only have the photographer
for an hour.
那攝影師我們可只約了一個(gè)小時(shí)
Okay.
Okay?
好吧
記住了?
And, sweetie, did you have a chance To try
on the white pants I put in your closet?
你有沒有試過我放你衣柜里的白褲子
what do they look like?
長啥樣子的呀
Is there really a more clear way
to describe white pants?
都說了白褲子 你還要我說什么呀
Sweetie, if they don't fit you, You're
gonna be the only one not wearing white,
要是不合身的話
你可就是唯一不穿白褲子的人
And then you're gonna stand out
like "where's Waldo?"
就會像"大家來挑刺"那樣扎眼了
Actually, "where's Waldo?"
doesn't stand out.
大家來挑刺哪里扎眼了
He's super hard to find.
That's the challenge.
關(guān)鍵就是要讓你找不到嘛
- This portrait is incredibly important to me.
- Also, his name is just Waldo. Sorry.
這張全家福對我來說很重要
- 還有這游戲叫"大家來找茬"
I spent weeks trying to find
a time that works for everybody
我花了幾個(gè)星期才把大家聚一塊兒
And finding the right photographer.
So if you could just promise me
又找了最完美的攝影師
所以你必須保證
That you'll cooperate, okay?
要配合 好不好
- I promise.
Okay.
我保證
好了
- This is amazing that you're doing this.
- Mm, thank you.
你為家人這么投入真了不起
謝謝
- You're wonderful.
- Thank you.
你好棒
謝謝
- Get in here.
Okay.
過來
好吧
- Oh, no can do. I love you.
- Oh. Oh.
啊喲不行 我愛你
Bye.
再見
Where's my good underwear?
我的好內(nèi)褲呢
The question is,
我就不明白了
Why isn't all
your underwear good, Jay?
你干嘛不全買好內(nèi)褲 Jay
You make a nice living!
你掙那么多錢
The new maid keeps mixing up
my underwear with Manny's.
新女傭老把我內(nèi)褲和Manny的搞混
Put on the first thing I grabbed --
It was like a crotch tourniquet.
我隨便抓了條套上 緊得跟止血繃帶似的
- You got to talk to her.
- Why me?
你得跟她說說
為嘛要我說
Hola. You both speak
the same language.
你們說的話一樣
She's Portuguese.
她是葡萄牙人
Do you know how offensive it is That you
put all of us in the same mixing pot?
你老把我們混為一談
也太侮辱人了吧
I'm sorry. Please apologize to her
When you tell her not to put my underwear --
對不起 跟她講內(nèi)褲事時(shí) 替我道個(gè)歉吧
I can't talk to her!
我跟她沒法交流
- Hey, guys.
- Hey!
大家好
嘿
Hey! Where's Luke?
Luke呢
I'm going instead.
我替他去
Luke suddenly remembered
a school project due tomorrow.
Luke突然想起來有個(gè)作業(yè)明天要交
Oh, that's tough.
But it's a good lesson for the kid.
那挺麻煩 不過也是給他個(gè)教訓(xùn)
You know, you ma a commitment,
you got to follow through.
你既然做事 就要堅(jiān)持到底
Yeah.
- What is the project?
嗯
啥作業(yè)呢
he has to interview somebody
who lived through the 1960s.
讓他采訪一個(gè)六十年代過來的人
Oh, no.
完了
Hello.
喂
Yeah, Luke.
Luke
Oh, sure,
I remember what I said.
行啦 我記得自己說過啥
Yeah, come on over.
All right.
好了好了 來吧
Gloria, you're gonna have
to take Manny to the game.
Gloria 看來得你帶Manny去看比賽了
Yay. Manny, vamos!
耶 Manny 我們走
I'm still getting dressed!
我還在穿衣服呢
Hey, mom!
I think my diet's working!
媽 看來我減肥成功了耶
My underwear won't stay up!
我的內(nèi)褲不勒著了
謦靈風(fēng)軟影視論壇榮譽(yù)出品
本字幕僅供學(xué)習(xí)交流，嚴(yán)禁用于商業(yè)用途
翻譯:Phan
校對:雨瀟
時(shí)間軸:情緣虹
Oh, so delicious.
Yes.
好好吃喲
Hey, you're okay with me not
going with you today, right?
我不跟你一塊兒去 你不會不高興吧
I have been hired to sing
at a wedding this weekend.
這周末有人請我去婚禮上唱歌
I was plucked from obscurity
after a particularly stirring
我可是經(jīng)過層層海選出來的
karaoke performance.
卡拉OK達(dá)人
So I guess you could say
I'm a professional singer now.
咱現(xiàn)在也算是專業(yè)歌手了
這可說不好 報(bào)酬只有鮮花唉...
Well, I would have blown
the money on flowers anyway.
反正我也要掏錢買花
They're saving me a step.
不是正好省了么
Plus, all the great divas
are rewarded in flowers.
再說了人家都給大歌星獻(xiàn)花的
They're also given paychecks.
可人家還有錢拿的
It's just, I'm really bad
at small talk, so...
只不過 我實(shí)在不擅長搭訕...
I get it.
It's not a problem.
我知道了 沒關(guān)系的
Are you sure? Because
you've been quiet all morning.
你確定? 你一早上都好安靜啊
It's because I'm resting
my instrument.
我在保養(yǎng)我的喉嚨呢
Okay.
好吧
I feel tension.
兇巴巴的
Kobe!
科比
Kobe Kobe!
科比 科比
Kobe! Kobe!
Kobe! Kobe!
科比 科比 科比 科比
Hey, hat can I do for you?
有什么可以效勞的
Do you like being
a basketball...Player?
你喜歡打籃球嗎
You serious?
你開玩笑呢吧
I choked. I didn't think
you'd look up heret me.
愣了下嘛 人家哪知道你會朝這兒看
Little preparation next time.
下次好好準(zhǔn)備
It's a mental game.
動(dòng)動(dòng)腦子
- Dually noted.
- All right.
謹(jǐn)尊教誨
行了
What's wrong?
怎么了
That broken step.
那個(gè)樓梯壞了
It's gonna ruin
our whole family portrait.
這會毀了我們的全家福的
Okay, here's my idea.
I'm really excited about it.
我原本是這么想的 可好玩兒了
The whole extended family,
all dressed in white,
咱們?nèi)叶即┌滓路?br />
In a single-file line
down the staircase.
然后沿著樓梯排成一直線
Oh, like a line on the highway.
就像高速公路的白線啊
No.
不是
Or a-a ski jump.
那就是跳臺滑雪
No.
不
Why -- why would I want
a ski jump?
我干嘛想要弄跳臺滑雪啊
I don't know. My idea was
to have the whole family
我覺得全家應(yīng)該
像"查理和巧克力工廠"那樣
on a giant bed Like
in "Willy wonka."
躺在一張大床上
Yeah, but that's ridiculous.
那可是超級白癡
Ridicu-licious.
超級...好吃
I don't see anything.
我看沒什么嘛
So I'm crazy?
那是我神經(jīng)過敏?
No! You're...Not.
沒有沒有
Your father was supposed
to fix that step.
你爸早該把樓梯修好的
Mom, you're obsessing over
the tiniest little thing.
媽 你也太糾結(jié)這些雞毛蒜皮的事兒了
So you do see it.
Yeah.
原來你也看到了啊
what is the big deal
about this one picture?
拍個(gè)照有啥了不起的嘛
Honey, you know what?
I don't expect you to understand.
寶貝 我也不指望你能明白
But all right.
好吧
When you're a mom,
everything goes by so quickly.
等你做媽媽了 就知道一切都太快
In a minute,
Luke's gonna be shaving,
一眨眼Luke都要刮胡子了
And Alex is gonna be off at college,
And -- and you're gonna be...
Alex要上大學(xué)了 你嘛肯定...
...You're gonna be doing
something great.
...也在做很了不起的事
Just want to freeze
this moment as it is right now.
我只想把此時(shí)此刻保存下來
You know?
你懂嗎
I do.
I know I don't show it,
我知道 雖然我不太表現(xiàn)
- But this family's still the most important thing that I --
- screw it.
可家對我來說還是最重要的事...
媽的
I'm gonna fix the bastard.
我要把這雜種修好
I mean, seriously,
how hard can it be?
我說能有多難啊
If your father can do it,
I can do it, right?
你老爸能干 我也能干 不是么
All right.
好吧
I just need to...
我只要...
Like, lift...
...這樣
Oh. Now I see it.
啊 現(xiàn)在我看到了
These seats are amazing!
這座位太牛啦
- Why you have candy coming out of your pants? Huh?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
為啥你的褲子里有糖啊
別別別
I brought my own snacks.
我自帶零食了
Not because I'm cheap. It's ???.
不是我貪小便宜 這是原則問題
Plus, I get a little rush
from the danger.
而且違反規(guī)則挺刺激的
Be cool! Be cool!
Be cool!
鎮(zhèn)定 鎮(zhèn)定 鎮(zhèn)定
Just look straight ahead.
快朝前看
I've never felt more alive.
真是刺激啊
Okay, I just made it worse.
I'm not freaking out, though.
好吧 弄得更糟了 不過我不會抓狂
I'm gonna call your dad, And
he's gonna tell me how to fix this.
我這就給你爸打電話
讓他教我怎么修
- Oh, my God, it's dad
Where?
- 啊呀 是爸爸
哪兒呢?
Right there, behind Kobe!
就在那兒 科比后面
- Oh!
- Oh, how weird is this?
哦
你說巧不巧
Quick. Quick. Tell me something
to say that'll freak him out.
快快 我該說點(diǎn)什么嚇嚇?biāo)?br />
Tell him I'm pregnant!
跟他說我懷孕了
No, I'm not gonna say that.
不 我才不要這么說
Okay, here we go.
How funny is this?
看好看好 好玩的來了
He it's Phil.
我是Phil
You know what to do.
你知道該怎么做
Well,
that was pretty funny.
我覺得挺好玩啊
Oh, my God!
老天啊
Oh, my God.
老天啊
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
老天啊 老天啊
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
老天啊 老天啊
Ohh. Ohh.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
老天啊 老天啊
Oh, my God!
Oh!
老天啊
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Sorry for that.
對不起 借過一下
Hello?
喂?
There is a pigeon in our house!
What do I do? What do I do?
家里有只鴿子 怎么辦怎么辦
Who is this?
您哪位啊
Never funny.
Not funny now.
別說笑 不好笑
Calm down. You know, I grew up
around many animals.
放松 我從小身邊就有很多動(dòng)物
One time,
a rooster attacked me,
有次一只公雞想啄我
And my mom wrung its neck,
and we had it for dinner.
我媽一把擰斷它脖子當(dāng)晚飯吃
Great time for an anecdote.
Help me!
你講故事倒是講得歡哪 幫幫我
It's more afraid of you
than you are of it.
你怕它 它還怕你呢
Pigeons aren't scared of anything.
They stand on electrical wires.
鴿子還能怕什么 連電線都敢站啊
You're gonna be fine, Mitchell.
You know what? Just as long as you don't --
沒事的啦 Mitchell
聽我說 只要你不去...
Oh, you know what? They're starting.
I got to go. Okay. Bye.
喲 開始了 我掛了啊 拜
As long as I don't what?!
Cam, as long as I don't -- Oh.
只要我不干嘛 Cam 只要我不...
Ooh, the kiss Cam!
哦 親吻鏡頭
Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the camera
was on us And then the crowd started --
要是拍到我們?nèi)思议_始起哄
會不會挺尷尬啊...
- We're related.
- Not by blood.
我們是親戚
又沒有血緣關(guān)系
Touch me,
and there will be blood.
敢碰我 馬上讓你見血
Not us.
別照我們
What's wrong with you?
你怎么啦
It's the kiss-cam -- When it lands
on you, you're supposed to kiss.
是親吻鏡頭 拍到誰誰就要接吻
It's my wife's dad's
second wife, So,
這是我老婆的老爸的第二任太太
legally okay,
but still weird.
不犯法 但不合適
That was awkward.
真尷尬哈
And...We're back.
又回到我們了
Ay, come on.
It's not a big deal.
來嘛 沒什么大不了的
Thank God
for caller I.D.
多虧了來電顯示啊
So you don't have to talk
to your wife.
你就不用接老婆電話了是吧
Oh, we're gonna talk,
mister.
我們有得好談了 先生
We're gonna talk and talk...
談啊談啊直到...
Dad!
Mom saw you on TV!
爸 媽在電視上看到你了
You're dead.
你死定了
Here's the thing.
The kiss-cam
問題是 親吻鏡頭
is only supposed to be for the enjoyment
Of the people at the game!
應(yīng)該是給現(xiàn)場觀眾娛樂的
They never show that on TV.
從來不在電視上播
What people do in the privacy
of their own sports arena
人們在體育館里干的私事
Should be their own business.
跟其他人沒有關(guān)系
So, in '66,
66年的時(shí)候
I worked at my grandfather's
office-supply business.
我在我爺爺?shù)奈木邚S干活
You know, your ink,
your staples, your legal pads.
就是墨水啦 訂書機(jī)啦 記事本什么的
Am I going too fast for you?
我是不是說太快了
I feel asleep for second.
我剛都睡著了
Did you do anything interesting
in the '60s?
你60年代就沒干過什么有趣的事嗎
Well, one summer, I swept up hair
At my other grandfather's barber shop.
有個(gè)暑假我在外公的理發(fā)店掃頭發(fā)
Ugh, you're killing me!
無聊死我了
- What do you want?
- I don't know.
你要我說什么?
不知道
Brian Beckwith's grandfather
marched on Washington.
Brian他爺爺參加了華盛頓游行
Artie Beckwith?
Artie Beckwith?
He couldn't walk two feet
without complaining.
他走個(gè)兩步路就要叫腿疼
He marched on Washington?
他去華盛頓游行?
He told Brian he did.
他這么跟Brian說的
With Martin Luther king Jr.
和小馬丁.路德.金一塊兒
Martin Luther king?
馬丁.路德.金?
- Guess who cut his hair.
What?
你猜他上哪兒剪頭發(fā)的
什嗎?
Do you know who cut
Martin Luther king Jr.'s hair?
你知道給小馬丁.路德.金
剪頭發(fā)的是誰么
Neither does Luke's teacher.
Luke的老師也不知道
So, the barber shop
was in Washington?
原來那理發(fā)店在華盛頓啊
Okay.
好吧
Did you cut
any other famous hair?
你還給什么名人剪過頭發(fā)
Oh, yeah, the Kennedys,
Richard Nixon, All the astronauts.
肯尼迪一家 尼克松 那幫宇航員
How do you think buzz Aldrin
got his nickname?
你以為巴茲.奧德林的外號誰給他起的
(第一次登月的三名宇航員之一)
Awesome.
酷啊
* we love to play in Lily's room *
* 我們喜歡在Lily房里玩 *
* we don't need any milk *
* 我們不要喝牛奶 *
Okay, you know what, Lily?
I am a man.
你知不知道 Lily 我是個(gè)男人
I am going into the kitchen
to get your milk.
我要到廚房去幫你拿牛奶
Whaaaaaaaaa!
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Ohh!
* ave Maria *
* Ave Maria *
* Gratia plena *
* Gratia plena *
* Maria, Gratia plena *
* Maria, Gratia plena *
* Maria, Gratia plena *
* Maria, Gratia plena *
* ave, ave Dominus *
* ave, ave Dominus *
* Dominus tecum *
* Dominus tecum *
* Benedicta tu in mulieribus*
* Benedicta tu in mulieribus*
* et benedictus fructus ventris *
* et benedictus fructus ventris *
* ventris tui, Jesus *
* ventris tui, Jesus *
* ave Maria *
* ave Maria *
Then one day,
wilt Chamberlain shows up.
那天張伯倫來了
He says, "can you take a little
off the top For my friend here?"
他說"你幫我朋友頂上頭發(fā)修修行不?"
And it's Elvis.
那就是貓王
No way.
不會吧
Greatest singer that ever lived --
After Sinatra.
有史以來最偉大的歌手
僅次于辛納屈
I'll fight any man
who says different.
誰敢說不是我揍他
My dad says the greatest singer
who ever lived Is Peabo Bryson.
我爸說最偉大的歌手是Peabo Bryson
Then I guess
I got to fight your dad.
那你爸是自己找抽了
Yeah. I guess.
嗯 大概是吧
Luke says grandpa
wants to fight you.
Luke說外公要揍你
Why does everything
have to suck?!
怎么什么都跟我過不去?
Let's just do the picture
another day.
我們改天再拍照算了
I think I'm getting a pimple.
我好像要長痘痘了
No! Do you know how long it took me
to book this photographer?
不行 知道我約這個(gè)攝影師約了多久么
Maybe by the fireplace.
要不在壁爐旁拍
Yeah.
嗯
That's a classic
old-person spot for a portrait.
老人最喜歡的經(jīng)典拍照背景哦
Yeah, if I'd ever bothered
to paint that hideous WA
我怎么早沒把這該死的墻刷刷
Claire is a perfectionist,
Which sometimes is a good thing,
Claire是個(gè)完美主義者 有時(shí)這是好事
Like when it comes to
picking a husband.
比如挑了我這樣一個(gè)老公
Sometime it's a bad thing,
Like when,
有時(shí)候就不太好了 比如
everyone else
sees something beautiful,
當(dāng)大家都看到事物的美麗時(shí)
And all she sees
is the teeny, tiny flaw.
她只看到細(xì)枝末節(jié)的缺憾
No. no.
不 不
no.
不
Hi.
嗨
My house is a disaster.
我家一團(tuán)糟
Can we do this picture at your place?
能去你家拍照不
Yeah, yeah, that's --
that's not gonna work.
那個(gè) 我看恐怕不行了
Maybe one more layer --
and tight, really tight.
再捆一層吧 緊點(diǎn) 越緊越好
Dad, can you call them again?
爸 你再給他們打個(gè)電話吧
I just did. They're on their way.
Game went into overtime.
剛打過 他們在路上了
后來有加時(shí)賽了嘛
I know,
but we're losing the light,
知道 可太陽快下山了
And the photographer has got to get
To a bar mitzvah in 10 minutes.
攝影師10分鐘后要去人家成人儀式
Oh, red wine.
Really? Now?
紅酒 開玩笑吧 現(xiàn)在喝?
You know, honey, I think you're getting
A little too uptight about this.
寶貝 我看你有點(diǎn)太緊張了
- It's hard to breathe.
- Oh, you're fine.
我喘不過氣了
沒事的
What'd you do to him?
He's turning blue.
你這是干啥 他臉都青了
Yeah, but his clothes
will stay white.
這樣他才不會弄臟衣服
- We're home!
- Oh, thank God!
我們回來了
謝天謝地
- Hello!
- Manny, let's go change.
大家好
- Manny 去換衣服吧
Hey.
There's my beautiful wife.
我美麗的太太
I know you're mad at me, And I know
this foam finger can't map for everything --
我知道你生我的氣
這個(gè)大手指雖然不能彌補(bǔ)...
Honey, you just go change, and we'll
talk about what you did later.
你快去換衣服 等下再找你算賬
Okay. Hey...
好吧
Thank you so much
for those tickets.
謝謝你的票
Gloria tells me
you had a real good time.
Gloria跟我說你玩得挺樂呵呀
Not really.
No, I didn't.
沒有 真沒有
God, I love your daughter.
我只愛你女兒一個(gè)
Ohh! I should -- I should come by
and kiss that step --
我早該親好樓梯的...
Fix that step.
修好這樓梯
you're acting like I wanted
to destroy the house.
你說得好像我存心把家砸了一樣
No, I just think it's odd
That the majority of things you destroyed
我只是想不通你砸的大部分東西
- Were sent to us by my mom.
- Oh, okay, okay, okay,
好像都是我媽送給的呀
好吧好吧
So while I'm fighting off
that filthy creature,
當(dāng)我在和這惡心的東西斗爭的時(shí)候
I actually stop and say,
"oh, you know what?
我莫非還停下來說 唉知道嗎"""
Here's the opportunity
I've always been looking for
我就等著這個(gè)絕好的機(jī)會
"To destroy
our kitschiest objects."
可以把家里最俗氣的東西都砸了
kitschiest?
Oh, she's gonna love that.
最俗氣 她聽到真要高興死了
You know, if you would have just
come with me to the wedding,
你要是跟我去了那婚禮
None of this
would have happened.
這種事根本就不會發(fā)生
Okay, so you are angry.
說到底你還是怪我啊
Mitchell, I get it.
Mitchell 我明白
You're terrified
of small talk...And birds.
你怕跟人閑聊 還怕鳥
You're just lucky that pigeon didn't
want to chat you up About the weather.
你真幸運(yùn)啊 那鳥沒開口和你聊天氣
- Hello, Jay.
- Hello, guys.
- 你好 Jay
你們好
Oh, God! Oh, you look like
the guy from "dance fever"!
天哪 你看上去像"狂熱炫舞"里那人
- Thank you.
- Deney Terrio. Cleveland, Ohio.
謝謝
- Deney Terrio來自俄亥俄州克利夫蘭
Dad, really.
That is not a compliment.
爸 別搗亂 我可不是在夸你
That's why I wanted you
to try those on earlier. Turn around.
我早叫你要試試看了 轉(zhuǎn)身
The picture can't happen today.
My pimple's getting worse.
照片不能拍了 我的痘痘越來越厲害了
Oh, honey, I am so sorry.
Can you stand?
寶貝 真抱歉 你還站得住嗎
Yeah?
- Well, then, the picture's happening.
能吧
那就得給我拍
It's all anybody's gonna see!
大家都會看到的
I wouldn't be so sure
about that.
這我可說不準(zhǔn)
Did you get a look
at her dress?
你看到她的裙子沒
What?! Why would I look
at her dress? I love you!
啥 我看她裙子干嘛 我愛你
Mrs. Dunphy.
The sun is setting.
Dunphy太太 太陽要下山了
Oh, okay, yeah, this is happening.
Everybody, come on, let's go.
好了好了 這就拍吧 大家快過來
Hold it. Be careful. I stained some
furniture out there this afternoon.
慢著 當(dāng)心點(diǎn) 我下午在外面油漆了點(diǎn)家具
Of course you did, dad.
Anything else I need to know about?
知道了 爸爸 還有什么要告訴我的嗎
Maybe the neighbors on either side
Are having a paintball fight.
隔壁鄰居有沒有在玩彩彈槍什么的
Now, watch this.
小心點(diǎn)
Dad, in his infinite wisdom,
stained furniture today.
老爸突發(fā)奇想今天去漆家具
Don't touch it.
It's wet.
別碰到 油漆未干
- Hurry, hurry!
- Put that down, sweetheart.
快點(diǎn)快點(diǎn)
- 放下吧 寶貝
- Okay, okay, we got it. Now we're gonna go out here.
- We're ready.
- 好了好了 過來了 到草坪上去吧
準(zhǔn)備好了
- Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?!
Ay.
- 天哪 開什么玩笑
啊
All right, how do you --
How do you turn the sprinklers off?
對了 這個(gè)噴頭要怎么關(guān)掉啊
Ay, of course,
because I'm Latina,
是啊是啊 我是拉丁人嘛
I'm supposed to know everything
about gardening and sprinklers!
這些花園啦 噴頭啦 我就都該知道
You were here
when they installed it!
他們裝的時(shí)候你在場嘛
Ay, yeah.
啊 是哦
Ay... The box is across the yard.
額... 控制盒在草地那一邊
You mean
the now-soaking-wet yard?
你是說現(xiàn)在徹底濕答答的草坪?
That's great.
We are screwed.
要命 這下完了
No, we're not.
不 沒事的
We haven't unwrapped
our secret weapon yet.
我們的秘密武器還沒拿出來呢
Luke walks over there,
hurt locker-style,
Luke走過去 像拆彈部隊(duì)那樣
Flips the switch,
and boom! --
關(guān)上開關(guān) 砰...
Or, not boom --
water off.
哦 不是砰 是水停了
Put the "he" in "hero," son.
大丈夫身先士卒吧 兒子
hurt locker.
拆彈部隊(duì)
It's -- it's more like
squirt locker.
我看 比較像"噴水部隊(duì)"
Really?
That wasn't funny?
喂 不好笑嗎
I actually pity you guys.
我真是同情你們
No! No time to celebrate!
Stop it!
不 這不是慶祝的時(shí)候 停停
- We don't have a lot of time.
- All right, everybody,
沒什么時(shí)間了
大家來吧
- if I can have the little ones out front --
- You know what, sir?
小孩站在前面...
我說那誰啊
If you don't mind...
I've got this.
不介意的話聽我指揮
Come on, people.
Let's get out here.
來吧各位 快點(diǎn)過來
Haley, Alex, I need you to
unwrap your brother, all right?
Haley Alex 快把弟弟的包裝拆了
I need the Dunphys
over on this side.
Dunphy一家的站這里
Dad, you're in the middle.
爸 你們站中間
Mitchell, Cam, Lily
on this end.
Mitchell Cam Lily站那邊
Okay.
好吧
Listen.
Uh-Huh?
聽著
怎么了
I know I screwed up,
我知道我混蛋
But if ever you're
in my arms again...
你要肯重新回到我的懷抱...
- Phil, not now.
- Yes, now!
- Phil 現(xiàn)在別說
就現(xiàn)在
I don't want to look at this
picture when I'm 80 years old
我不想等80歲的時(shí)候看著這張照片
And you're long dead and know
that you were angry at me When we took it!
看著照片里對我生氣的你
想著現(xiàn)實(shí)中早已去世的你
Phil, we'll talk
about what you did later.
Phil 你干了什么我們等會兒再說
Okay, everybody.
Eyes over here.
好了各位 看這邊
I didn't do anything.
She kissed me.
我什么都沒干 是她親我的
What?!
Who kissed you?
什么 誰親你了
Gloria.
- What?!
Gloria
啊
It was the kiss-cam.
是親吻Cam嘛
Why did you kiss Cam?
你親吻Cam干嘛
(Cam有鏡頭意)
No, I kissed Phil.
He told me I had to.
不 我親了Phil 他說一定要親的
- No. No.
- Okay. Hang on a second.
- 不 不
- 好了 等等
Was this before or after You ignored
the phone call from your wife?
這是在你掛我電話之前還是之后啊
- You saw that, too?!
Mm.
這你也看見了?
嗯
Could we please just take
the damn picture?!
我們快把這該死的照片拍了吧
Okay, everybody,
one more time.
好了 再來一次
Just so you know,
I am angry with you.
跟你說 我就是生你氣
- I knew it!
- Oh, damn it!
我就知道
我靠
It was a big day for me, And he didn't to go
because he doesn't like small talk!
這對我是多么重要的一天啊
你不去就因?yàn)椴幌矚g搭訕
Would it be
terribly inconvenient
你們就不能幫幫忙
To just postpone this hissy fit
for a few minutes?
忍個(gè)幾分鐘再為這些雞毛蒜皮吵架么
Okay, you know what?! Maybe some
of us don't want to take a picture today!
你知道么 也許有人根本不想今天拍照
- Thank you!
- Yeah, and, please, Claire,
謝謝
- 是啊 Claire
don't try to make Mitchell
Do something he doesn't want to do.
你可別逼Mitchell做他不想做的事情
shut up, Cam!
閉嘴 Cam
Okay, stop it!
Stop it!
好了 都給我住嘴
Everyone! Listen, this took
me forever to put together,
各位 我花了很大功夫才安排好這事兒
So I don't really care
who kissed who
我才不管誰親了誰
And who's got a pimple
on her head,
誰臉上長了痘痘
And who is wearing an
outrageously inappropriate dress!
誰穿了條超級夸張的裙子
We are gonna get together
and act like a normal family
我們就要像正正常常一家人似的
For 1/10 of a freaking second,
and we're gonna do it right now.
哪怕裝個(gè)十分之一秒
都給我站好了
- Come on, let's go.
- Get your hands off or me!
快點(diǎn)站好
你別碰我
No. No, make me.
Make me. Make me.
我不 我就不 我就不
Oh, this is ridiculous!
You're both uptight about everything!
行了行了 你倆干啥都太神經(jīng)質(zhì)了
You didn't want to go to a wedding with him
Because you didn't want to make small talk?
你不想跟他參加婚禮
就因?yàn)椴幌矚g搭訕
That's how I met Gloria.
我和Gloria就是搭訕搭上的
Do you remember the first thing
I said to you?
你記得我對你說的第一句話么
Yes.
當(dāng)然
"I like chocolate, I like fruit,
But not together."
"我喜歡巧克力 也喜歡水果
可別給我混一塊兒了"
You couldn't come up with that,
Ivy league?
你一高材生這么幾句都想不出來么
And you --
you would be a lot happier
你 你要是不萬事都追求完美
If you weren't so obsessed
with everything being perfect.
肯定會比現(xiàn)在快樂多了
Look at us here all in white.
What are we, a cricket team?
看看讓我們都穿白的
你當(dāng)我們是板球隊(duì)啊
News flash --
life is not perfect, Claire.
重要提示 生活不完美 Claire
Ndow, calm the hell down!
現(xiàn)在 給我冷靜點(diǎn)
Okay, dad, that's great.
好吧 老爸 你說得好
And that's really easy
for you to say,
你說得真輕巧啊
But do you think
I like being like this?
你以為我喜歡這樣啊
No, I don't.
才不是呢
So if you have some
quick and easy fix,
你有什么快速解決的辦法
Why don't you just
give it to me right now?
倒是快教教我啊
Oh! Jay!
哦 Jay
Oh, my God!
我的天那
I-I got this, baby.
讓我來 寶貝
No! What are --
不 你搞毛
Why did you do that?
Two people are dirty!
你這是干嘛 現(xiàn)在兩個(gè)人臟了啊
Well, three.
三個(gè)
Okay, you know what?
你玩是吧
That's for "kitschy."
讓你說"俗氣"
Mud fight!
泥巴大戰(zhàn)
No. Don't do that!
不 別這樣
Stop!
停
Haley, stop it!
Haley 停下
- No!
guys.
不
大伙兒
Excuse me!
各位
Are we still doing this?
你們還拍不拍啊
No.
No, we're not.
不 還不行
- Now we are.
- Ready!
現(xiàn)在行了
準(zhǔn)備
Say "cheese."
說"茄子"
Say "cheese!"
說"茄子 "
Back in '68,
68年
When I was sweeping up hair
in that barber shop,
我在理發(fā)店掃頭發(fā)的時(shí)候
I had this mental picture
of the family that,
腦子里就想著這么個(gè)完美家庭
If I was lucky enough,
one day I would end up with --
如果我夠幸運(yùn)的話 長大就會有
Perfect wife, perfect kids.
完美的老婆 完美的孩子
Guess what.
I didn't get any of that.
結(jié)果呢 根本不是那么回事兒
Wound up
with this sorry bunch.
攤上這堆矬人
And I'm thankful for that
every day.
但我還是每天都心存感激
Well, most days.
大多數(shù)時(shí)候啦
I think I'm just gonna go
with the Elvis stuff.
我看我還是寫貓王那些吧
Yeah, I would.
我同意
To the right...To the right...
往右 往右
And a skosh to the left.
往左一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)
There we go.
好了
Whatever. I'm gonna have to take the picture
down When I repaint the wall anyhow.
隨便了 反正重新刷墻的時(shí)候也要拿下來
Kill me now.
殺了我吧
What?
啥
Don't know how...
I got so lucky.
不知道我哪輩子修來的福氣
Mm-Hmm?
- I love you.
嗯
我愛你
I love that picture.
我愛這張照片
Yeah.
是啊
- Is that a chip on the frame right there?
- No. No.
相框上是不是有條縫兒啊
沒有沒有
- I can see it.
- Honey!
我都看見了
老婆
