他其實沒那么喜歡你 第79期:請別忽略他已婚的事實

The "But He's Really a Good Person" Excuse

“但是他真的是一個好人”的借口

Dear Greg,

親愛的格雷格，

I never thought I'd be in this situation.

我從未想過我會深陷此境。

I know you're not supposed to date married men,but here I am.

我知道不應該跟已婚男人戀愛，但是我已經(jīng)做了。

I met him at a conference out of town, but ended up seeing him for work reasons in the city Ilive in.

我在城外的一場會議上遇到了他，但是最后由于工作原因在我居住的城市再次看見他。

We fell in love and one thing led to another.

我們陷入愛河，順理成章的發(fā)展著。

We see each other whenever he's in town, which is often.

我們經(jīng)常在他在鎮(zhèn)上的時候見面。

It would be easy to think all the bad things I should think about this situation, except for thefact that he is a kind, good man.

想想在此境地的壞方面會更容易，除了他是個善良的好人這一事實。

He has never done anything like this before.

他在此之前從未做過這樣的事。

And he never says anything bad about his wife.

而且他從未講過他妻子的壞話。

We are deeply in love. I'm thirty-six years old and I have never in my life felt anything thispowerful before.

我們彼此深愛對方。我現(xiàn)年36歲，在我的生命中從未感覺到過這么濃烈的感情。

He says the same thing, too.

他亦如是說。

He talks about leaving his wife, but he has two young children, and this would be devastatingto them.

他說他要離開他的妻子，但是他還有兩個小孩，這對他們來說太殘酷了。

He is tortured by it all. I feel awful, and yet I also believe I deserve to feel this kind of love.

他為此深受折磨。我也覺得難過，但是我仍然認為我值得這份愛。

And if it feels so huge, it must be real and meant to be.

而且既然這感覺如此強烈，那它一定是真的，是命中注定的。

This isn't the typical dating-a-married-guy story, Greg. This is me. And it feels completelydifferent.

這并非是典型的和已婚男人約會的事例，格雷格。這是發(fā)生在我身上的。而且這感覺完全不同。

Signed Belinda

貝琳達

Dear Other Woman,

親愛的第三者，

Hey, smart girl. Good for you to know you deserve to feel a powerful and profound love.

嘿，聰明的女孩兒。知道自己值得一段強烈深刻的愛情這很好。

I just think you should have it with someone who's actually yours.

我只是認為你應該找一個確實屬于你自己的人發(fā)展。

There's plenty of guys out there. Why not get one of your own?

大把的男人在等著你。為什么不挑一個屬于你自己的呢?

Sure, okay, sometimes people fall out of love, marry the wrong person, are overcome withpassion, or make bad choices, all of which can result in an affair.

當然了，有時候人們陷入愛河，和錯誤的人結(jié)婚，激情褪去后，或者做了錯誤的選擇后，都會導致外遇。

Here's how you and Ring Finger Fred can handle this situation now: Stop seeing each other; lethim figure out his life.

這就是和無名指弗雷德處理這種情況的方法：停止見面，讓他搞清楚自己的生活。

If he ends up staying with his wife, then you would have been that girl who was having an affairwith the guy who was never planning on leaving his wife.

如果他最終選擇和他的妻子一起，那你就成了一個和一個從未想過離開自己妻子的男人搞外遇的女孩兒。

If he does leave his wife, then you can start a life with him not based in shame.

如果他離開他的妻子，那你可以和他開始無需羞恥的生活。

Sincerely, Greg

真誠的，格雷格

This is no joke, and I'm not even going to try to be glib (even if I was a little in the letterabove) .

這不是開玩笑，我并不想變的油嘴滑舌(盡管在上文中有些傾向)。

You want love and you want to be loved and you think you've finally found it. But he's married.

你想去愛和被愛，并認為自己最終能找到。但是他已經(jīng)結(jié)婚了。

Please try not to ignore that fact. He's married to someone else.

請別試著去忽略這個事實，他已經(jīng)和別人結(jié)婚了。

I know you're different, and it's different, but the fact is, he's still married.

我知道你是不同的，這也很特殊，但是事實是，他還是結(jié)婚了。

If there's only one red flag you are unable to ignore in your entire life, please make it this one.

如果你的人生中只有一個無法忽略的紅旗，請把它用于此事。

There's simply too much at stake for everyone involved.

所有卷入其中的人都有著太多的利害關(guān)系了。