Quora精選：只要10分鐘，學(xué)會(huì)就受益終身的小技能（第二彈）

Answered by Abhishek A. Singh

Abhishek A. Singh的回復(fù)：

1.Primacy and recency: People most remember the first and last things to occur, and barely the middle.
When scheduling an interview, ask what times the employer is interviewing and try to be first or last.

首因效應(yīng)和近因效應(yīng)：人們往往對(duì)第一件或最后一件發(fā)生的事情記憶猶新，中間的幾乎記不住。所以，約定面試的時(shí)候，詢問面試者什么時(shí)候開始，爭(zhēng)取做第一個(gè)或者最后一個(gè)。

2.If you work in a bar or in customer service of any kind ...
... Put a mirror behind you at the counter. This way angry customers who approach you will have to see themselves in the mirror behind you and the chances of them behaving irrationally lowers significantly.

如果你在酒吧工作，或從事任何形式的客戶服務(wù)工作，在你背后放一面鏡子。這樣的話，當(dāng)顧客怒氣沖沖地接近你時(shí)，他們就能從你身后的鏡子中看見自己的樣子，從而大大降低他們無(wú)理取鬧的可能性。

3.Once you make the sales pitch, don't say anything else.
This works in sales, but it can also be applied in other ways. My boss at an old job was training me and just giving me pointers. I was working at a gym trying to sell memberships. He told me that once I got all the small talk out of the way and presented the prices, that the first person to talk will lose. It didn't seem like a big deal but it actually worked. Often there were long periods of awkward silence as the person tried to come up with some excuse, but usually they bought.

報(bào)價(jià)之后，別再說(shuō)話。
這個(gè)方法對(duì)于銷售業(yè)很有用，但也適用于其它行業(yè)。我以前的老板在訓(xùn)練我的時(shí)候給了我這些建議。當(dāng)時(shí)我在健身房推銷會(huì)員卡。他告訴我，一旦你和顧客寒暄完并且報(bào)出了價(jià)格，接下來(lái)第一個(gè)說(shuō)話的人就輸了。這似乎并不是什么了不起的事兒，但很管用。通常會(huì)有很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的尷尬冷場(chǎng)，顧客會(huì)試圖找借口拒絕你的推銷，但他們最終通常還是會(huì)買下來(lái)。

4.If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer, just wait.
If you stay silent and keep eye contact they will usually continue talking.

如果你問別人一個(gè)問題，他只回答了一半，那么靜待即可。如果你安靜地等，并且保持眼神接觸，他們通常會(huì)繼續(xù)說(shuō)下去。

5.Chew gum when you're approaching a situation that would make you nervous like public speaking or bungee jumping.
If we are eating , something in our brain reasons 'I would not be eating if I were danger. So I'm not in danger'. It has helped me to stay calm a few times.

當(dāng)面臨一些讓你感到很緊張的時(shí)刻，如公開演講或蹦極，嚼嚼口香糖就好了。如果我們?cè)诰捉?，大腦就會(huì)推斷，“我在危險(xiǎn)的時(shí)候是不會(huì)吃東西的，所以我現(xiàn)在很安全”。這個(gè)辦法已經(jīng)幾次幫助我保持冷靜。

6.People will always remember not what you said but how you made them feel.
Also most people like talking about themselves so ask lots of questions about them.

人們記住的不是你所說(shuō)的，而是你給他們帶來(lái)的感覺。大部分人喜歡談?wù)撟约旱氖虑椋钥梢远鄦栃┖退麄冇嘘P(guān)的問題。

7.When you're learning something new, teach it to a friend. Let them ask questions to you related to it.
If you're able to teach something well, you can be sure that you've understood it very well.

當(dāng)你學(xué)習(xí)新東西時(shí)，試著教給你的朋友，讓他們就此提問。如果你能教會(huì)別人，證明你已經(jīng)很好地理解了它們。

8.If you get yourself to be really happy and excited to see other people, they will react the same to you.
It doesn't always happen the first time, but it will definitely happen next time.

如果你見到別人的時(shí)候表現(xiàn)得非常高興和興奮，那么他們看見你的時(shí)候也會(huì)這樣。第一次也許不會(huì)，但第二次一定會(huì)。

9.The physical effects of stress - breathing rate and heart rate - are almost identical to the physical effects of courage.
When your feeling stressed from any situation immediately reframe it : Your body is getting ready to be courageous, it will NOT feeling stressed.

對(duì)于壓力的生理反應(yīng)——呼吸加速和心跳加快——和鼓起勇氣時(shí)的反應(yīng)幾乎一樣。在任何情況下，當(dāng)你感到焦慮不安時(shí)，馬上告訴自己：你的身體已經(jīng)做好了鼓足勇氣的準(zhǔn)備，不會(huì)感到緊張。

10.Pay attention to people's feet.
If you approach two people in the middle of a conversation, and they only turn their torsos and not their feet, they don't want you to join in the conversation. Similarly if you are in a conversation with a coworker who you think is paying attention to you and their torso is turned towards you but their feet are facing in another direction, they want the conversation to end.

注意別人的腳。
當(dāng)你加入別人的談話時(shí)，他們只把身體轉(zhuǎn)向你，腳卻沒有，這說(shuō)明他們不想讓你加入。類似的，如果你在和同事講話，你認(rèn)為他們正在全神貫注聽你講，但他們的身體面向你而腳卻對(duì)著其它方向，這說(shuō)明他們很想結(jié)束這場(chǎng)談話。

11.Fake it till you make it ; confidence is more important than knowledge.
Don't be intimidated by anyone, everyone is playing a role and wearing a mask.

在你做到之前，先假裝你能做到：自信比知識(shí)更重要。
不要因?yàn)槿魏稳说脑捳Z(yǔ)而感到恐懼，每個(gè)人都在帶著面具做著演員。

12.If you pretend to be something for long enough, you will eventually become it.

假裝久了就會(huì)成真。

13.Not to be creepy, but if you want to stare at someone unashamedly, look directly past them and wait for them to try and meet your eyes.
When they fail to do that, they'll look around (usually nervously for a second) they won't look at you again for some time. This is your chance to straight up stare at this person for at least 45 seconds.

說(shuō)來(lái)有點(diǎn)怪，但如果你想“厚顏無(wú)恥”地盯著某人，那就把你的目光聚焦在他們身后的某處，然后等待他們和你對(duì)視。
當(dāng)他們發(fā)現(xiàn)你并不是在看他們的時(shí)候，就會(huì)東張西望（通常會(huì)緊張一會(huì)兒），接下來(lái)一段時(shí)間就不會(huì)再看你了。這就是你肆無(wú)忌憚地看這個(gè)人的好機(jī)會(huì)，至少可以看45秒。

Corollary (Suggested by Brian Stutzman)

If you're staring at someone and get caught, DON'T turn your head or your body to look away, because that just confirms that you were staring. Just move your EYEBALLS off the person. Unlike turning your head, it's instantaneous. And the person will think you were just looking at something behind them and that they were mistaken for thinking you were staring. Do it confidently, and ignore any reaction from the person, and you can sell it every single time. After a second you can even look back at them with a "Why are you staring at me?" look on your face to really cement the deal!

直接推論：（來(lái)自Brian Stutzman）
如果你盯著某人被抓個(gè)現(xiàn)行，不要轉(zhuǎn)頭或轉(zhuǎn)身看其它地方，因?yàn)槟菢忧∏≌f(shuō)明你在盯著他們瞅。你只需要將視線從這個(gè)人身上移開。和轉(zhuǎn)頭不一樣，這只是一瞬間的事情。然后這個(gè)人就會(huì)認(rèn)為你只是在看他身后的某樣?xùn)|西，是自己誤認(rèn)為你在盯著他看。轉(zhuǎn)移視線的時(shí)候要自信一點(diǎn)，不要管對(duì)方是什么反應(yīng)，就一定管用。一秒鐘后，你甚至可以用一種“你為什么盯著我看？”的表情看回去，就能萬(wàn)事大吉！

14.Build a network.
Become their information source, and let them be yours. Even grabbing a beer with a former colleague once a year will keep you in the loop at the old office. Former coworkers might have gotten a new position in that office you always wanted to work in, great! Go to them for a beer, and ask about the office. It's all about connections and information.

建立人脈網(wǎng)。
成為他們的消息來(lái)源，并讓他們的消息為你所用。即使只是每年和老同事們暢飲一回，也能讓你繼續(xù)在曾經(jīng)的工作圈有一席之位。以前的同事可能換到了一個(gè)你夢(mèng)寐以求的新崗位，那太好了！和他們喝一杯，問一問辦公室的情況。建立人脈網(wǎng)全在于保持聯(lián)系和交換信息。

15.If you are angry at the person in front of you driving like a grandmother ...
Pretend it is your grandmother, it will significantly reduce your road rage

如果你因?yàn)榍懊娴娜碎_車像老奶奶一樣而生氣，那就把她當(dāng)成你的奶奶，你就不會(huì)那么生氣了。

16.Stand up straight
No slouching, hands out of pockets, and head held up high. It's not just a cliche -- you literally feel better and people around you feel more confident in you.

站直了。不要懶懶散散的，手不要插在口袋里，頭抬高。這不是老生常談——這樣你的感覺真的會(huì)更好，周圍的人也會(huì)覺得你更有自信。

17.Avoid saying "I think," and "I believe" unless absolutely necessary.
These are phrases that do not evoke confidence, and will literally do you no good.

除非真的有必要，不要說(shuō)“我認(rèn)為”“我相信”之類的話。這樣的話不會(huì)讓你產(chǎn)生自信，對(duì)你沒什么好處。

18.When feeling anxious, clean up your home or work space.
You will feel happier and more accomplished than before.

當(dāng)你感覺焦慮的時(shí)候，整理一下房間或工作區(qū)。你會(huì)感到更高興，也更有成就感。

19.Always buy the first pitcher or round of drinks.
You'd be surprised how long you can drink on the phrase "I bought the first one."

買第一瓶或第一輪酒水。你會(huì)驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)，“我買了第一輪”這句話能讓你掛在嘴上多久。

20.Going into an interview...be interested in your interviewers.
If you focus on learning about them you seem more interesting and dynamic. (Again, people love to talk about themselves.)

參加面試時(shí)，多關(guān)注一下面試者。如果你專注于了解對(duì)方，他們會(huì)覺得你更有趣、更有活力。（再次強(qiáng)調(diào)，人們總是喜歡談?wù)撟约骸＃?/p>

21.Pay Attention Parents: Always give your kid a choice that makes them think they are in control.
For instance when I want him to put his shoes on I will say ,"do you want to put your star wars shoes on or your shark shoes on?"

Pro-tip: In some cases, this works on adults.

家長(zhǎng)們注意了：經(jīng)常給孩子們選擇的機(jī)會(huì)，讓他們覺得自己能掌控自己的生活。例如如果我想讓孩子穿上鞋，我會(huì)問他：“你是想穿星球大戰(zhàn)那雙鞋還是鯊魚那雙？”

友情提示：這招有時(shí)候?qū)Υ笕艘埠芄苡谩?/p>

22.Your action affect your attitudes more than your attitudes affect your actions.
As my former teacher said "You can jump and dance FOR joy, but you can also jump and dance yourself joyful."

行動(dòng)對(duì)態(tài)度的影響比態(tài)度對(duì)行動(dòng)的影響更大。就像我以前的老師說(shuō)過的：“你可以因?yàn)榭鞓范治枳愕?，但你也可以又蹦又跳地讓自己開心起來(lái)。”

23.When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group.

當(dāng)一群人在笑的時(shí)候，人們會(huì)本能地去看這群人中感覺最親近的那個(gè)。

24.If you want to build rapport or gain someone's trust quickly, match their body posture and position.
If someone is sitting with her legs crossed cross your legs. If they're leaning away from you lean away from them. If they're leaning towards you, lean towards them. Mirroring and matching body position is a subconscious way to tell if someone trusts you or is comfortable with you. If you're sitting with your arms crossed and you notice someone else is sitting with her arms crossed, that is a good indicator that you have/are successfully built/building rapport with that person.

如果你想要建立更融洽的關(guān)系，或者讓別人更快信任你，模仿他們的身體姿勢(shì)。
如果他們雙腿交叉而坐，那你也雙腿交叉；如果他們身體向后傾，你也向后傾；如果他們身體靠向你，你就靠向他們。模仿身體姿勢(shì)是一種潛意識(shí)的行為，你可以以此判斷某人是否信任你，或者和你在一起自不自在。如果你抱臂而坐，然后發(fā)現(xiàn)其他人也抱臂而坐，這是說(shuō)明你和他的關(guān)系很親近，或者正在變得親近。

25.The Benjamin Franklin Effect (suggested by Matt Miller)

The pencil one may seem far-fetched but I find the basis of it (the Benjamin Franklin effect) is very useful and extends far beyond pencil borrowing. This knowledge is useful in the world of flirting too. Asking a girl in your class if you can borrow a pencil or her notes or to explain the homework will make her more likely to like you than if you let her borrow your stuff or are the one to help her. Even just asking a girl to buy you drinks (facetiously) leaves a much bigger impression than offering to or actually buying a girl a drink. The best part is it kills 3 birds with one stone: you get the advantages of the favor itself, the person subconsciously likes you more, and it makes them more open to future favors and conversation.

本杰明·富蘭克林效應(yīng)（來(lái)自Matt Miller）
借鉛筆的辦法看似牽強(qiáng)附會(huì)，但我發(fā)現(xiàn)這個(gè)方法的依據(jù)——本杰明·富蘭克林效應(yīng)——非常有用，而且能拓展到借鉛筆之外的其它事情上，在與異性搭訕的時(shí)候也同樣奏效。問下你班里的一個(gè)女生能不能借你一支鉛筆或者筆記，或是給你講解一下功課，會(huì)比你借她東西或幫她更能讓她產(chǎn)生好感。即使是讓她給你買一瓶飲料（有些滑稽哈），也會(huì)比你給她買一瓶飲料留下的印象更深。最妙之處在于這可是一石三鳥：你得到了你想要的幫助；這人在潛意識(shí)里更喜歡你；這讓他們?cè)谀銓?lái)的求助或交談中更為開放。

26.Handling Panic and Anxiety Behavior (Suggested by Jade Barbee)

When you're feeling stressed, worried or angry, tap each finger tip while thinking (or speaking quietly) a few specific words about what is bothering you. Repeat the same words while tapping each of your 10 fingers, including thumbs. For example, tap while saying, "I'm so angry with her..." Doing so will likely take the charge out of the feeling and return you to a more resourceful (better feeling) state of being. It's called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or "tapping," and it is useful in many, many life situations - emotional upset, physical pain, food cravings, traumatic memories...

如何控制恐懼和焦慮（來(lái)自Jade Barbee）
當(dāng)你感覺壓力巨大、焦慮不安或是生氣的時(shí)候，用幾個(gè)詞來(lái)描述你的煩心事，每想或說(shuō)出一個(gè)詞，就輕輕敲一下一根手指，不斷重復(fù)這幾個(gè)詞，同時(shí)敲打包括大拇指在內(nèi)的十個(gè)手指。例如，邊敲邊說(shuō)“我很生她的氣……”。這能讓你擺脫不好的情緒，變得更能隨機(jī)應(yīng)變，你的感覺也會(huì)更好。這被稱為“情緒自由療法（EFT）”或者“敲擊法”，在許多生活狀況下都有效，如心情抑郁、生理疼痛、飲食沖動(dòng)、創(chuàng)傷記憶……