暮光之城?暮色 第219期:第十三章 自白(14)

[00:00:38]I couldn't speak. 我說(shuō)不出話(huà)來(lái)。 [00:01:14]I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. “我做足了準(zhǔn)備，去狩獵，喝得甚至比必要的還要多，然后再去見(jiàn)你。 [00:09:20]I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it. 我確信我足夠堅(jiān)強(qiáng)，可以像對(duì)待任何別的人類(lèi)一樣對(duì)待你。我對(duì)此很是自負(fù)。 [00:14:13]It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. 毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)，情況很復(fù)雜，因?yàn)槲覜](méi)辦法簡(jiǎn)單地通過(guò)讀你的想法來(lái)知道你對(duì)我的反應(yīng)。 [00:22:16]I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica's mind 我很不習(xí)慣，卻又不得不采取如此迂回的措施，從杰西卡的腦子里聽(tīng)你說(shuō)的話(huà) [00:28:07]her mind isn't very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. 她腦子里的并非原話(huà)，將就著去聽(tīng)實(shí)在是件惱人的事。而且我不知道你說(shuō)的是否真的是字面上的意思。 [00:36:13]It was all extremely irritating. He frowned at the memory. 這一切都格外讓人氣憤?！毕肫疬@些，他不由得皺起了眉頭。 [00:41:48]I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. “我想讓你忘記我第一天時(shí)的舉動(dòng)，如果可能的話(huà)，所以我試著和你說(shuō)話(huà)，像我和任何人所做的那樣。 [00:50:13]I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions 我確實(shí)是渴望心切，想要破譯你的一些念頭。但你太有趣了，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己被你的表情迷住了 [01:00:27]and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again 而且你時(shí)不時(shí)會(huì)用你的手或者你的頭發(fā)擾動(dòng)空氣，那股香味又一次刺痛了我 [01:07:43]Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. 當(dāng)然，然后你差點(diǎn)就要在我眼前被撞死。 [01:12:17]Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment — 事后我想出了一個(gè)極好的借口，解釋那時(shí)候我為什么會(huì)那樣做—— [01:16:31]because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, 因?yàn)槿绻也蝗ゾ饶愕脑?huà)，你的血就會(huì)在我面前噴濺出來(lái)， [01:21:58]I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. 我不認(rèn)為我能阻止自己暴露我們的身份。 [01:26:48]But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.' 但我只是事后才想到這個(gè)借口的。那一刻，我所能想到的只是，‘不該是她’。” [01:31:28]He closed his eyes, lost in his agonized confession. I listened, more eager than rational. 他閉上眼睛，沉浸在自己痛苦的自白中。我聆聽(tīng)著，渴望得有些不合常理。 [01:41:07]Common sense told me I should be terrified. Instead, I was relieved to finally understand. 常識(shí)告訴我，我應(yīng)該感到恐懼。但相反地，我很寬慰，因?yàn)槲易罱K知曉了一切。 [01:46:44]And I was filled with compassion for his suffering, even now, as he confessed his craving to take my life. 而且，我對(duì)他所遭受的折磨充滿(mǎn)了憐憫，即使是在現(xiàn)在，即使這時(shí)他正坦白著他渴望奪走我的生命。

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