然后我知道,我已經(jīng)得出答案了。我甚至不知道這里面是否真的有過一個抉擇。我已經(jīng)陷得太深了。我知道——如果我真的知道的話——對于我這個嚇人的秘密,我什么也不會做的。因為每當我想起他,想起他的聲音,他能夠催眠的眼睛,他極具吸引力的個人魅力的時候,我只想立刻和他在一起,除此之外便別無所求了。即使……但我不能再想下去了。不能在這里,獨自一人待在越來越黑的森林里想。不能在這個時候,不能在雨水讓天邊的暮色變得黯淡,滴滴答答的聲音就像走過鋪著瓷磚的地板的腳步聲的時候想。我顫抖著,趕快從我的隱蔽之所站起來,擔心著那條小路也許會消失在雨中。
But it was there, safe and clear, winding its way out of the dripping green maze. I followed ithastily, my hood pulled close around my face, becoming surprised, as I nearly ran through the trees, at how far I had come. I started to wonder if I was heading out at all, or following the path farther into the confines of the forest. Before I could get too panicky, though, I began to glimpse some open spaces through the webbed branches. And then I could hear a car passing on the street, and I was free, Charlie's lawn stretched out in front of me, the house beckoning me, promising warmth and dry socks.
但它仍在那里,安全又清晰,蜿蜒著穿過那片濕漉漉的綠色迷宮。我慌忙沿著小路走回去,我的兜帽拉得很低,垂在我的臉旁。我開始驚慌起來,幾乎是跑著穿過樹林,因為我覺得已經(jīng)走了像來時那么遠的距離了。我開始懷疑自己是不是已經(jīng)沖過頭了,又或者是沿著小路走到了森林里更遠的地方。但在我變得更加驚慌失措以前,透過密密麻麻像蜘蛛網(wǎng)一樣的樹枝,我隱約能瞥見一些開闊地了。然后我聽到了一輛車穿過街道的聲音,我自由了。查理的草坪出現(xiàn)在我的面前,那所房子在召喚著我,許諾著溫暖以及干燥的襪子。
It was just noon when I got back inside. I went upstairs and got dressed for the day, jeans and a t-shirt, since I was staying indoors. It didn't take too much effort to concentrate on my task for the day, a paper on Macbeth that was due Wednesday. I settled into outlining a roughdraft contentedly, more serene than I'd felt since… well, since Thursday afternoon, if I was being honest.
我走回屋里的時候剛好是正午。我走上樓,換上這一天的裝束——牛仔褲和T恤衫——因為我會一直待在家里。全力以赴解決今天的任務(wù)不會花上太多的工夫,只是一份周三截止的關(guān)于麥克白的論文而已。我心滿意足地投入工作,羅列出了一份粗略的草稿。這份寧靜的心境是我許久沒有感受過的,自從……好吧,自從周四下午以后,如果我足夠誠實的話。