"你欠我一個(gè)解釋。"我提醒他。
"I saved your life — I don't owe you anything."
"我救了你的命——我啥也不欠你的。"
I flinched back from the resentment in his voice. "You promised."
他語氣里充滿了憤懣,把我嚇得一退:"你保證過的。"
"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about." His tone was cutting.
"貝拉,你撞了頭,不知道自己在說些什么。"他的腔調(diào)很刺人。
My temper flared now, and I glared defiantly at him. "There's nothing wrong with my head."
這時(shí)我的脾氣也上來了,蔑視地盯著他:"我的腦子一點(diǎn)兒?jiǎn)栴}都沒有。"
He glared back. "What do you want from me, Bella?"
他對(duì)我也是怒目以對(duì):"你想從我這兒得到什么,貝拉?"
"I want to know the truth," I said. "I want to know why I'm lying for you."
"我想知道真相,"我說,"我想知道我干嗎要替你撒謊。"
"What do you think happened?" he snapped.
"那你以為發(fā)生了什么?"他厲聲喝問。
It came out in a rush.
我憋在心里的話像泄了閘的水,一涌而出了。
"All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me — Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard.That van was going to crush us both — and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it — and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all — and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up…" I could hear how crazy it sounded, and I couldn't continue. I was so mad I could feel the tears coming; I tried to force them back by grinding my teeth together.
"我就知道你當(dāng)時(shí)根本就不在我身邊——泰勒也沒看見你,所以別跟我說什么我的頭撞得很重。那輛客貨兩用車眼看就要把你我輾成肉餅了——結(jié)果呢,沒有,你的雙手在它的側(cè)邊留下了一道凹痕——而且另一輛車上也留下了你的印痕,而你卻毫發(fā)無損——客貨兩用車本可以把我的雙腿輾得粉碎的,可你把它舉起來了……"我自己聽了似乎都覺得荒唐至極,沒法往下說了。我氣得不行,覺得眼淚都快出來了;我咬緊牙關(guān)竭力忍住了。
He was staring at me incredulously. But his face was tense, defensive.
他以懷疑的目光盯著我。但他的臉色很緊張,急于為自己辯護(hù)。
"You think I lifted a van off you?" His tone questioned my sanity, but it only made me moresuspicious. It was like a perfectly delivered line by a skilled actor.
"你認(rèn)為我把一輛壓著你的客貨兩用車舉起來了?"他的語氣是在懷疑我是否精神正常,但這只是令我更加懷疑了。他的話就像一個(gè)爐火純青的演員背得滾瓜爛熟的一句臺(tái)詞。
I merely nodded once, jaw tight.
我只點(diǎn)了一下頭,下巴繃得緊緊的。
"Nobody will believe that, you know." His voice held an edge of derision now.
"誰也不會(huì)信的,你知道的啵。"這時(shí)他的話里帶了一絲嘲弄。
"I'm not going to tell anybody." I said each word slowly, carefully controlling my anger.
"我不會(huì)告訴任何人的。"我一字一頓地說道,強(qiáng)按住心頭的怒火。
Surprise flitted across his face. "Then why does it matter?"
他臉上掠過一絲驚訝:"那你說說,這事兒干嗎就這么要緊?"
"It matters to me," I insisted. "I don't like to lie — so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it."
"對(duì)我來說很要緊,"我堅(jiān)持道,"我不喜歡撒謊——所以最好有個(gè)理由能解釋我干嗎在跟人家撒謊。"
"Can't you just thank me and get over it?"
"你就不能把這事兒忘了,謝我一聲嗎?"
"Thank you." I waited, fuming and expectant.
"謝謝你。"我等候著,既怒氣沖沖,又滿懷期待。
"You're not going to let it go, are you?"
"你不打算讓這事兒過去算了,是不是?"
"No."
"沒錯(cuò)。"
"In that case… I hope you enjoy disappointment."
"那樣的話……你就好好地等著失望吧。"
We scowled at each other in silence. I was the first to speak, trying to keep myselffocused. I was in danger of being
distracted by his livid, glorious face. It was like trying to stare down a destroying angel.
我們默默地怒視著對(duì)方。是我先開的口,目的是為了讓自己精力集中,因?yàn)槲业淖⒁饬r(shí)刻面臨著被他那張氣得發(fā)青,卻又令人愉快的臉分散的危險(xiǎn)。這情形就如同努力把一個(gè)催魂天使盯得不敢跟你對(duì)視一樣。
"Why did you even bother?" I asked frigidly.
"那你干嗎還要費(fèi)那個(gè)勁呢?"我冷冷地問道。
He paused, and for a brief moment his stunning face was unexpectedly vulnerable.
他頓了一會(huì)兒,然后有那么短暫的一瞬,他那張漂亮至極的臉,出人意料地脆弱了。
"I don't know," he whispered.
"我不知道,"他低聲說道。
And then he turned his back on me and walked away.
然后他轉(zhuǎn)過身去,走了。
I was so angry, it took me a few minutes until I could move. When I could walk, I made my way slowly to the exit at the end of the hallway.
我都?xì)鈺灹耍脦追昼姴荒軇?dòng)彈。可以動(dòng)步以后,我慢吞吞地走到了過道盡頭的出口。
The waiting room was more unpleasant than I'd feared. It seemed like every face I knew in Forks was there, staring at me.Charlie rushed to my side; I put up my hands.
候診室比我擔(dān)心得還要糟糕。似乎我在??怂拐J(rèn)識(shí)的每一副面孔都在那里,直盯盯地看著我。查理沖到了我身邊;我舉起了雙手。
"There's nothing wrong with me," I assured him sullenly. I was still aggravated, not in the mood for chitchat.
"我一點(diǎn)事兒也沒有,"我繃著臉跟他說。我的火還沒消,沒有心情聊天。
"What did the doctor say?"
"大夫怎么說?"
"Dr. Cullen saw me, and he said I was fine and I could go home." I sighed. Mike and Jessica and Eric were all there,beginning to converge on us. "Let's go," I urged.
"卡倫大夫看的,他說我沒事兒,可以回家。"我嘆息道。邁克、杰西卡和埃里克都在,過來跟我們會(huì)合了。"咱們走吧,"我催促道。
Charlie put one arm behind my back, not quite touching me, and led me to the glass doors of the exit. I waved sheepishly at my friends, hoping to convey that they didn't need to worry anymore. It was a huge relief— the first time I'd ever felt that way — to get into the cruiser.
查理把一只手臂放在了我的背后,沒有完全碰到我的身體,引著我朝出口的玻璃門走去。我靦腆地朝朋友們揮了揮手,希望向他們傳達(dá)不必再擔(dān)心了的意思。坐進(jìn)巡邏車真是一種巨大的安慰——我平生第一次有這樣的感覺。
We drove in silence. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I barely knew Charlie was there. I was positive that Edward's defensive behavior in the hall was a confirmation of thebizarre things I still could hardly believe I'd witnessed.
我們默默行駛著。我全神貫注地想著問題,幾乎把身邊的查理給忘了。我確信愛德華在過道里的辯護(hù)行為恰好證實(shí)了我親眼目睹的那些不可思議的事情,雖然至今仍不敢相信。
When we got to the house, Charlie finally spoke.
我們到家時(shí),查理終于開口了。
"Um… you'll need to call Renée." He hung his head, guilty.
"唔……你得給蕾妮去個(gè)電話。"他愧疚地垂下了頭。
I was appalled. "You told Mom!"
我嚇壞了:"你告訴媽了!"
"Sorry."
"對(duì)不起。"
I slammed the cruiser's door a little harder than necessary on my way out.
我從巡邏車下來后,砰地一聲摔上了車門,力氣稍稍使大了一點(diǎn)兒。
My mom was in hysterics, of course. I had to tell her I felt fine at least thirty times before she would calm down. She begged me to come home — forgetting the fact that home was empty at the moment — but her pleas were easier to resist than I would have thought. I was consumed by the mystery Edward presented. And more than a little obsessed by Edward himself. Stupid,stupid, stupid. I wasn't as eager to escape Forks as I should be, as anynormal, sane person would be.
我媽自然是歇斯底里了。我起碼得跟她說上三十遍我沒事兒,她才會(huì)冷靜下來。她懇求我回家去——忘掉家里暫時(shí)沒人這件事——不過她的請(qǐng)求比我想象的要容易拒絕。我已經(jīng)被愛德華帶來的神秘弄得精疲力竭了,而且更有一點(diǎn)被他這個(gè)人給迷住了。愚蠢,愚蠢,愚蠢。我不渴望著逃離福克斯了,離開這個(gè)我本應(yīng)該避而遠(yuǎn)之的地方,就像任何正常的神志清醒的人那樣。
I decided I might as well go to bed early that night. Charlie continued to watch me anxiously, and it was getting on my nerves. I stopped on my way to grab three Tylenol from the bathroom. They did help, and, as the pain eased, I drifted to sleep.
那天晚上,我決定不妨早點(diǎn)兒上床睡覺。查理依舊不安地看著我,看得我都有些發(fā)毛了。我去臥室的中途停了下來,從衛(wèi)生間抓了三顆泰諾。還確實(shí)管用,很快就止疼了,我不知不覺就睡著了。
That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.
那是我第一夜夢(mèng)見愛德華·卡倫。