TED演講-口語(yǔ)練習(xí)：吵架的藝術(shù)

在TED演講節(jié)目中，演講者清晰的口語(yǔ)表達(dá)及其內(nèi)容的寫(xiě)作手法都是值得我們學(xué)習(xí)借鑒的。在本期的TED演講中，演講者將表達(dá)“決定關(guān)系成敗的關(guān)鍵在于如何'吵'”的觀點(diǎn)。請(qǐng)結(jié)合視頻內(nèi)容，開(kāi)始口語(yǔ)練習(xí)吧！

原文及翻譯

It's not if we fight that determines relationship success; it's how we fight. In fact, our researchers reveal that sun fighting actually increases connection and even improves our life. So, how do we fight right? We found that there were three major styles of conflict: avoiders, who just agreed to disagree; conflict validators, who would bring up an issue by expressing their feelings calmly and then jumping immediately into problem-solving; then there were the conflict volatiles, who would express their feelings intensely and very passionately, then leap into trying to prove that they were right. 

決定關(guān)系是否成功的不是我們是否吵架，而是我們?nèi)绾纬臣堋Ｊ聦?shí)上，我們的研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，吵架實(shí)際上可以增進(jìn)聯(lián)系，甚至改善我們的生活。那么，我們?nèi)绾握_地吵架呢？我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，沖突主要有三種類(lèi)型：回避者，他們只是同意持不同意見(jiàn)；沖突確認(rèn)者，他們會(huì)通過(guò)平靜地表達(dá)自己的感受來(lái)提出問(wèn)題，然后立即投入到解決問(wèn)題中；還有沖突易變者，他們會(huì)強(qiáng)烈而熱情地表達(dá)自己的感受，然后立即投入到試圖證明自己是對(duì)的中。

The couples who fight right will bring up the issue with what we call softened startup. Softened startup consists of a bunch of "I" statements that describe you and not your partner at all. You start with what you feel, then you describe the situation at hand, and then what you do need from your partner to make things better, rather than what you resent. Ending this win-lose mentality and leading a couple to a compromise that honors both people's dreams.

正確吵架的夫妻會(huì)以我們所說(shuō)的“軟啟動(dòng)”的方式提出問(wèn)題。軟啟動(dòng)包括一堆“我”的陳述，這些陳述描述了你而不是你的伴侶。你從你的感受開(kāi)始，然后你描述眼前的情況，然后你確實(shí)需要你的伴侶做些什么來(lái)讓事情變得更好，而不是你怨恨什么。結(jié)束這種勝負(fù)心態(tài)，讓夫妻達(dá)成妥協(xié)，尊重雙方的夢(mèng)想。

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