美國女模特霍莉·麥迪遜在休·海夫納的評判下住在花花公子大廈時患上了“身體畸形”

For Holly Madison, residing in the Playboy Mansion for nearly a decade had lasting effects on her mental health. 

對霍莉·麥迪遜來說，在花花公子大廈居住近十年對她的心理健康產(chǎn)生了持久的影響。

Madison, who was only 21 when she moved into the Holmby Hills home, was Hugh Hefner's girlfriend from 2001 to 2008 — and that title meant conforming to specific and restrictive beauty standards.

麥迪遜搬到霍姆比山的家時才21歲，從2001年到2008年，她是休·海夫納的女朋友——這個頭銜意味著符合特定的、嚴(yán)格的審美標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。

“I would definitely say that living in the mansion created a body dysmorphia for me because I was always kind of wondering what's wrong with me," Madison, now 43, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "[Hugh] had a way of making me feel like I wasn't pretty enough, and I would look around to everybody else and constantly be wondering, what's so different about them and why are they so much better?” 

現(xiàn)年43歲的麥迪遜在接受《人物》雜志獨家采訪時說:“我可以肯定地說，住在豪宅里讓我的身體變得畸形，因為我總是在想我到底怎么了。”“(休)總有辦法讓我覺得自己不夠漂亮，我會看看周圍的人，不斷地想，他們有什么不同，為什么他們比我好得多?”

According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is considered a mental health disorder that manifests as “worry about the way your body looks” to the point where “it interferes with your ability to function normally.” 

根據(jù)約翰霍普金斯醫(yī)學(xué)院的說法，身體畸形障礙(BDD)被認(rèn)為是一種精神健康障礙，表現(xiàn)為“擔(dān)心自己的身體看起來的樣子”，以至于“它干擾了你正常運作的能力”。

Undertaking “extreme measures” such as “repeated cosmetic surgical procedures to correct the perceived flaw” is also a hallmark sign, according to JHM.

根據(jù)JHM的說法，采取“極端措施”，比如“反復(fù)進(jìn)行整容手術(shù)來糾正察覺到的缺陷”，也是一個標(biāo)志性的跡象。

Understandably, Madison consistently felt “self-conscious" about every aspect of her appearance.  

可以理解的是，麥迪遜一直對自己的外表感到“自我意識”。

“It was constantly like, what can I do? What can I do? What can I change? How can I look better?” recalls Madison, who has been open in the past about having a nose job and a breast augmentation.

“我一直在想，我能做什么?我能做什么?我能改變什么?我怎樣才能看起來更好?麥迪遜回憶道，她過去曾公開接受過隆鼻和隆胸手術(shù)。

“When I look at what the typical Playboy bunny looks like with the blonde hair and big boobs, I always wanted to look like that. That was just something I would see and it would resonate with me, and it wasn't to impress any certain person,” Madison explains of her decision to have plastic surgery. “I just wanted to look like that, and that's what attracted me to the Playboy brand in the first place.”

“當(dāng)我看到典型的花花公子女郎金發(fā)大胸的樣子時，我一直想變成那樣。這只是我想看到的東西，它會引起我的共鳴，而不是為了給某個特定的人留下深刻印象，”麥迪遜解釋了她做整形手術(shù)的決定。“我只是想看起來像那樣，這就是花花公子品牌最初吸引我的地方。”

While she chose to undergo plastic surgery "for myself" at first, Madison says living in the mansion with Hefner had a negative impact on her self-confidence.

雖然她最初選擇“為自己”做整形手術(shù)，但麥迪遜說，與海夫納住在一起對她的自信心產(chǎn)生了負(fù)面影響。

“I could be looking like a plastic surgery nightmare right now!” reflects Madison. “Because it was just constantly me wondering, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?” 

“我現(xiàn)在看起來就像整形手術(shù)的噩夢!”麥迪遜反思道。“因為我一直在想，我到底怎么了?我怎么了?”