托福獨立寫作常見的一些審題的雷區(qū)

　　那么該如何改正呢?既然題目只是問我們一個客觀事實，那么論述的過程要么就是用事實說話，擺事實講道理，比如記者會跟蹤、偷拍明星，并將他們的一舉一動在第一時間發(fā)布;電視上會邀請明星來參加真人秀(reality shows)，甚至還會到明星家里去拍親子秀，這樣明星的整個生活都暴露在公眾視野;為了博眼球，他們甚至還會將一些信息進行拼接來制造新聞，甚至是假新聞，然后引發(fā)公眾關注，企圖明星能更多地曝光自己的生活等等，然后再說明這樣的關注已經(jīng)過分了。以下是一個參考主體段：

　　… I do agree that the media have laid too much emphasis on the privacy of famous people.(開頭段)

　　Firstly, a tendency has emerged that some producers of reality TV shows are willing to allocate large amounts of money to invite celebrities and even their children or families. It is evident that viewers could have an opportunity to get access to the real life of a super star, i.e., to see what a working day or a weekend of a star is, how different a star’s growing experience is from ordinary people, or what a star will do in a relationship. These shows can thus gain its popularity and then earn more from commercials but the celebrities have lost all their privacy and their families’ lives may be bothered as well.

　　上文中從事實切入，說了所謂“媒體關注”的方式，考生們在寫的時候也可以用具體的例子，接下來點到這對于明星來說會產(chǎn)生的問題，以此來回應“too much”。當然這不是唯一的解題思路，對于這道題我們也可以分析這個現(xiàn)象背后存在的原因，但歸根結(jié)底需要的是命題這個結(jié)論。

　　再來看一下TPO 20這道題目：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

　　Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well.

　　Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

　　以下是來自一位學生的開頭段和第一個主體段：

　　Nowadays there is a controversial issue about how people achieve success. Someone holds the opinion that by trying new things and taking risks that they become successful, while others think that they already know how to do well. From my perspective, I agree that it’s the spirit of adventure that plays the most important role in being successful.

　　First of all, trying new things could bring people more creativity and inspiration. To achieve success, you must make your products or services outstanding from the competitors. How to do it? I think the key factor is to be creative. In order to be creative, people must try new things. Let us take Jobs for example. The Apple was nearly bankrupt before Steve Jobs was invited to come back. As the CEO, what Jobs had done was trying his best to make products full of creativity. Iphone is the first cellphone using the technique of multi-touch, Macbook air is thinner than any laptops. Therefore, it is creativity that brings Apple from the edge of bankruptcy to the biggest company in the world.

　　如果有關注到上文中加粗的位置，相信你心里也一定在犯嘀咕了，也許也會有一種感覺，叫做“文不對題吧”。我們還是先來翻譯一下這道題目的問題：

　　你是否同意如下觀點：成功人士(往往都是)嘗試新鮮事物，而不是只做自己確定能做好的事。

　　刷過一些獨立寫作題目的考生可能會有一個思維定式，就是認為獨立寫作基本就在考察某些事情的好與不好。很明顯上文中的同學，就把這道題想成了“如何成功”或“成功的要素”，于是他的思路就變成了“冒險創(chuàng)新”跟“穩(wěn)中求進”，哪個更能讓人成功。于是也就有了他的第一個理由：“嘗試新事物可以讓人更有創(chuàng)造力。”有同學可能會問，這難道不對嗎?成功的人不就是這樣的嗎?問題就在這里，我們需要論證的是，“成功的人都會嘗試新事物”，而不是“嘗試新事物使人成功”，細說來，后者應該是前者論題在論述中的一個部分或環(huán)節(jié)，我們最終需要證明的是一個事實，即“成功人士更愛冒險嘗試新事物還是只做自己確定能做好的事”。

　　于是到這里可能有人會問，剛剛上面的段落中不也舉了赫赫有名的喬幫主和他的蘋果帝國作例子嗎?這恰好不也從正面印證了這個事實嗎?沒錯，如果單獨看這個例子其實并無問題，但因為例子去證明的觀點并不是考官所問的，所以即使例子對，也會顯得文不對題。筆者將上面的例子進行了修正，將它們改成了相對比較正確的內(nèi)容，讀者可以參考對比：

　　Successful people have long been regarded as the role models for ordinary people and the ones many are willing to imitate. How they succeed in their fields has also been a topic of discussion among public. Although it is sometimes believed that only doing things one person is good at will make success, I still think it is trying new things that should be defined as the determining factor for success, since a diversity of examples have proven this statement.

　　First of all, the success of a great many business elites should be undoubtedly ascribed to the attempts to develop new fields. Most of them were faced with similar situations when starting their business: being negated, doubted, refused, even despised, just because things they had done were totally new and risky, not only for themselves, but for the market. The only positive side probably lies in the number of their rivals, zero. However, just by doing this, they finally exploit new opportunities, open new markets, and become the winner in the competition. Ma Yun, now the richest man in China, is a good example. After being turned down for hundreds of times, he has built his e-commercial empire all over the world, which used to be labeled as “impossible”. Steve Jobs, used to be the CEO of Apple, has been a legend and the God for billions of fans, largely due to his on-going efforts on the innovation of his products. It is not difficult to imagine that if they had only done what they know they can do well: Ma would have been teaching English in a school and Jobs perhaps a common Harvard undergraduate.