老爸老媽的浪漫史第四季22

[00:00.80]In May of 2009, I was on the verge of scoring my first big client as an independent architect.
[00:00.80]2009年5月 我作為一位獨(dú)立設(shè)計(jì)的建筑師 馬上面臨著第一位大客戶的首肯
[00:06.00]I was willing to do anything to make it happen.
[00:06.00]我愿意拼盡全力來爭取
[00:08.45]Here's what we want,son. It's real simple.
[00:08.45]小子 這就是我們想要的 真的很簡單
[00:11.35]We're opening a restaurant called Rib Town and we want it to be shaped like a cowboy hat.
[00:11.35]我們要開一家叫肋骨城的餐廳 希望它的外形像個牛仔帽
[00:18.83]Anything.
[00:18.83]愿意做任何事
[00:20.23]A cowboy hat?
[00:20.23]牛仔帽?
[00:22.02]That's brilliant. I love it!
[00:22.02]太棒了 我愛死這想法了!
[00:24.80]I mean,nothing says delicious like the inside of a cowboy hat,right?
[00:24.80]我是說 在牛仔帽外形的餐廳進(jìn)餐 再美味不過了 對吧?
[00:28.35]Look,I'm telling you-- I'm your guy.
[00:28.35]瞧 我想說 我就是你們需要的人
[00:30.46]I - I think I was born to design this building. I just...
[00:30.46]我想我是為了設(shè)計(jì)這個餐廳而生的 我已經(jīng)...
[00:35.94]I see it.
[00:35.94]看到了藍(lán)圖
[00:37.17]I don't see it. I don't see it. I don't see it.
[00:37.17]我根本啥也看不到 看不到 看不到
[00:41.32]What's so good about it?
[00:41.32]你有啥好開心的?
[00:43.24]Up all night?
[00:43.24]一宿沒睡?
[00:44.33]I told these guys I have a vision for this thing.
[00:44.33]我告訴那兩家伙 說我已經(jīng)有了餐廳設(shè)計(jì)的構(gòu)思
[00:46.62]They want to see a pitch in a week and I got nothing.
[00:46.62]他們這周內(nèi)就要看設(shè)計(jì)圖 我卻什么也設(shè)計(jì)不出來
[00:49.30]It's cute.
[00:49.30]挺可愛的嘛
[00:50.62]- Cute? - Yeah.
[00:50.62]- 可愛? - 對啊
[00:51.70]Robin,I could be designing concert halls and bridges.
[00:51.70]Robin 我本該去設(shè)計(jì)音樂廳和大橋的
[00:55.78]Bridges so beautiful they could be in museums.
[00:55.78]橋梁如此優(yōu)雅 甚至可以被放進(jìn)博物館
[00:59.01]And I could design those museums.
[00:59.01]我甚至也可以設(shè)計(jì)那些博物館
[01:01.81]But what am I designing instead? What has my career come to?
[01:01.81]但瞧瞧我在干什么呢? 我事業(yè)的前景在哪呢?
[01:04.81]A two-story Stetson with outdoor ding on the brim.
[01:04.81]一座兩層的牛仔帽 前門還往兩遍凹
[01:09.93]It's a sick cosmic joke.
[01:09.93]真是個有悖宇宙?zhèn)惱淼男υ?br /> [01:12.18]The universe is conspiring against me.
[01:12.18]這個宇宙都在合謀陷害我
[01:14.85]You just need to get out of the house. Take a walk. Get a bagel.
[01:14.85]你需要出去 走走溜溜 買個百吉餅
[01:17.77]Yeah. Yeah,that'll solve everything.
[01:17.77]沒錯 沒錯 一切就都解決了
[01:20.58]I haven't slept for 34 hours, but a bagel is the answer.
[01:20.58]我34小時都沒合眼了 但一個百吉餅就解決這一切了
[01:23.57]A cinnamon raisin bagel with a little cream cheese.
[01:23.57]一個肉桂葡萄干百吉餅再抹少量乳酪
[01:27.29]Actually,that sounds pretty good-- I'm going to get a bagel.
[01:27.29]事實(shí)上 聽起來不錯 我去買個百吉餅吧
[01:29.68]Oh,uh,bring an umbrella.
[01:29.68]哦 記得帶把傘
[01:30.88]It's supposed to rain, according to Galoshes, our weather clown.
[01:30.88]據(jù)Galoshes報(bào)道說會下雨 他是我們的天氣小丑
[01:33.83]Your show has a clown who does the weather?
[01:33.83]你們的節(jié)目還有小丑來播報(bào)天氣?
[01:36.20]That's a little cheesy, don't you think?
[01:36.20]聽上去很搞笑 你不覺得嗎?
[01:37.62]Yeah,and what's that restaurant you're designing shaped like,Hoss?
[01:37.62]沒錯沒錯 牛仔 你設(shè)計(jì)的餐廳是什么樣子的?
[01:43.49]Fine. You want me out of the house, I'll get out of the house.
[01:43.49]好吧 你想我出去 那我就出去好了
[01:47.16]Can't wait to see what the universe has lined up for me out there.
[01:47.16]來不及想瞧瞧花花宇宙在外面又給我準(zhǔn)備了什么了
[01:55.44]Kids,I've been telling you the story of how I met your mother.
[01:55.44]孩子們 我一直在講我如何遇見你們媽媽的故事
[01:58.76]And while there's many things to learn from this story, this may be the biggest.
[01:58.76]在所有的故事里 這一件也許是最重要的
[02:03.04]The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do.
[02:03.04]你們?nèi)松闹匾獣r刻 不是因?yàn)槟銈冏隽耸裁?br /> [02:06.73]They'll also be the things that happen to you.
[02:06.73]而是你們的際遇
[02:09.52]Now,I'm not saying you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life.
[02:09.52]我并不是說你們對于生活無所作為
[02:13.31]You have to take action, and you will.
[02:13.31]你們必須要行動起來 你們也會這樣做的
[02:16.60]But never forget that, on any day,
[02:16.60]但別忘了 某一天
[02:18.93]you could step out the front door and your whole life can change forever.
[02:18.93]你們踏出前門 一生就會發(fā)生改變
[02:23.24]You see,the universe has a plan,kids, and that plan is always in motion.
[02:23.24]孩子們 你們知道宇宙有自己的定數(shù) 它處于不斷變化之中
[02:28.84]A butterfly flaps its wings...
[02:28.84]一只蝴蝶扇動翅膀...
[02:31.61]and it starts to rain.
[02:31.61]天就開始下雨
[02:34.10]It's a scary thought. But it's also kind of wonderful.
[02:34.10]聽上去有點(diǎn)詭異 卻又如此美妙
[02:37.23]All these little parts of the machine constantly working,
[02:37.23]這些就如機(jī)器部件不斷運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)
[02:40.35]making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be,
[02:40.35]確保你能來到對的地方
[02:43.10]exactly when you're supposed to be there.
[02:43.10]能趕上對的時間
[02:45.71]The right place at the right time.
[02:45.71]在對的時間來到對的地方
[03:02.93]How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode22
[03:02.93]老爸老媽浪漫史 第四季 第22集
[03:05.57]***le that I ended up on that street corner.
[03:05.57]孩子們 如奇跡一般 我來到了街角
[03:08.48]especially when you consider how easy it would have been not to end up there.
[03:08.48]尤其是當(dāng)你們知道錯過這一切是多么的容易
[03:11.97]I mean,for instance, when I first stepped out of the apartment,
[03:11.97]比如 當(dāng)我剛出門時
[03:14.51]I almost went right instead of left.
[03:14.51]我差點(diǎn)就右拐 而不是左拐
[03:16.72]Why didn't I go right?
[03:16.72]我為何不右拐呢?
[03:18.01]Well,to answer that, we have to go back a few days.
[03:18.01]要回答這個問題 我們要說說前幾天發(fā)生的事
[03:20.64]As you know,back then, your Aunt Robin hosted a morning show.
[03:20.64]你們知道 那時你們的Robin阿姨主持一檔早間節(jié)目
[03:23.83]Now Eunice here makes all of these purses herself.
[03:23.83]這些手提包都是Eunice親手做的
[03:27.28]They're hand embroidered with the world's finest silk.
[03:27.28]它們是用全世界最好的絲綢 手工刺繡而成的
[03:30.04]And each one takes months to make.
[03:30.04]每一個都要花費(fèi)數(shù)月的時間
[03:32.51]I cannot emphasize how much work goes into...
[03:32.51]我都無需強(qiáng)調(diào)這其中花費(fèi)的功夫了...
[03:39.81]Go to weather,you idiot.
[03:39.81]切播天氣預(yù)報(bào)啊 白癡
[03:43.30]Hey,everybody.
[03:43.30]嗨 大家好
[03:44.81]We got a high pressure system coming in from the west and...
[03:44.81]有股高氣壓將從西面襲來...
[03:50.21]On the plus side, I bought the cutest purse today.
[03:50.21]從好的方面看 我今天買到了最可愛的手提包
[03:54.18]So,wait, why did you throw up?
[03:54.18]那么 慢著 你怎么會嘔吐呢?
[03:56.69]- You don't want to know. - Come on. Tell me.
[03:56.69]- 你不會想知道的 - 好啦 說吧
[04:00.33]I'm pregnant.
[04:00.33]我懷孕了
[04:01.96]I will raise this child with you.
[04:01.96]我會和你一起撫養(yǎng)這個孩子的
[04:03.64]You are not alone in this.
[04:03.64]你不是一個人在'戰(zhàn)斗"
[04:04.88]We can even get married if you want,but I still want to see other girls,
[04:04.88]如果你愿意我們可以結(jié)婚 但我還想和別的女生約會
[04:07.63]so it would have to be one of those kinds of marriages.
[04:07.63]那么這必須得是種特殊的婚姻
[04:08.91]God,stop it. I'm not pregnant. It's food poisoning.God.
[04:08.91]天啊 夠啦 我沒有懷孕 只是食物中毒 天啊 (騙人^^ 你明明就是懷孕了)
[04:14.27]I ate something from this place and,three hours later, I was spewing like an open hydrant.
[04:14.27]我某個地方吃了早飯 3個鐘頭后 我就像開閘的消防栓一樣嘔吐不止
[04:21.06]From where?
[04:21.06]哪兒?
[04:22.07]Well,that's a gross question.
[04:22.07]這個可就是個粗魯?shù)膯栴}了
[04:23.95]No,where was the food from?
[04:23.95]不是問這個 問你在哪兒吃的?
[04:27.63]- I don't want to tell you. - What?
[04:27.63]- 我不想跟你說 - 什么?
[04:28.93]Ted,Ted,Ted! Go to YouTube.
[04:28.93]Ted Ted Ted! 去YouTube網(wǎng)站看看
[04:30.49]Put in "Robin Scherbatsky morning show vomit" Oh,hey,Robin. Home so soon.
[04:30.49]搜索"Robin Scherbatsky晨間嘔吐秀" 哦 嘿 Robin 這么快就回來啦
[04:34.41]Someone already put it on YouTube?
[04:34.41]都有人把這放到Y(jié)ouTube上了?
[04:36.94]Yeah. Someone.
[04:36.94]沒錯 某人
[04:40.44]So,uh... Why you been throwing up? You pregnant?
[04:40.44]那么... 你怎么會嘔吐? 你有了?
[04:42.97]Yeah,Barney. I'm pregnant.
[04:42.97]沒錯 Barney 我有了
[04:49.71]So,wait,why won't you tell me where you got food poisoning?
[04:49.71]等等 你為啥不能告訴我你在哪食物中毒的?
[04:51.99]You love this place. If I tell you, it'll just ruin it.
[04:51.99]你喜歡那家店 一旦我告訴你 就毀了它的美好形象了
[04:55.78]- Okay,that makes sense. - Yeah.
[04:55.78]- 好吧 也有道理 - 很好
[04:58.79]Don't tell me.
[04:58.79]別告訴我
[05:00.69]Is it that Indian place where the cat jumps on all the tables?
[05:00.69]是那家貓咪滿桌滾的印度餐廳嗎?
[05:03.17]I'm not saying.
[05:03.17]我不會說的
[05:04.07]That Spanish place with the baby's crib in the middle of the restaurant?
[05:04.07]是那家店中央有張嬰兒床的 西班牙餐廳嗎?
[05:06.02]I'm not saying.
[05:06.02]我不會說的
[05:08.61]Oh,God,no. No,no,no. Is it this place?
[05:08.61]哦 天啊 不 不 不 是這里嗎?
[05:13.04]- Tell me,damn you! - Fine. You really want to know?
[05:13.04]- 告訴我 該死的! - 好吧 你真想知道?
[05:15.02]Yes!
[05:15.02]想!
[05:17.00]- It's Schlegel's Bagels. - No! Why did you tell me that?
[05:17.00]- 是在Schlegel的百吉餅店 - 不! 你干嘛要告訴我啊?
[05:21.47]Schlegel's? Thanks a lot,Robin.
[05:21.47]Schlegel的店? 多謝你了 Robin
[05:24.56]Now I'm going to have to try to find another place in New York That serves bagels.
[05:24.56]這下我要在紐約城重新找一家百吉餅店了
[05:30.44]So,you see,kids,if I had gone to Schlegel's Bagels as usual, I would have taken a right.
[05:30.44]所以孩子們你們看 如果我像平常一樣 去買Schlegel的百吉餅 我就會右拐了
[05:36.10]I would have gotten a bagel...
[05:36.10]我會買上一個百吉餅...
[05:37.95]gone home, worked on the old hat building, and you kids might never have been born.
[05:37.95]回家去 繼續(xù)設(shè)計(jì)那帽子餐廳 就不會你們了
[05:43.13]But I turned left instead, to go to my second-favorite bagel place and the rest is history.
[05:43.13]但我左拐 去我第二喜歡的百吉餅店 余下發(fā)生的事才是歷史
[05:49.19]Of course,I stopped at that magazine stand on the way.
[05:49.19]當(dāng)然 我半路在報(bào)刊亭停了一下
[05:52.64]Why did I stop there? Here's why.
[05:52.64]我為何會停下? 這就是原因
[05:55.66]Yes. Yes...
[05:55.66]好 好!
[06:01.05]Bro's Lifemagazine.
[06:01.05]看這本"男人終生的雜志"
[06:03.42]Page 83. Check it.
[06:03.42]第83頁 看看
[06:07.08]"What Your Paintball Gun Says About Your Personality"?
[06:07.08]"從漆彈槍選擇看你的個性"?
[06:09.97]Below that.
[06:09.97]下面那行
[06:11.30]"That Last Five Pounds: How to Get Her to Lose Them."
[06:11.30]"最后5磅: 教她如何減重"
[06:14.20]Above that.
[06:14.20]上面那句
[06:16.14]Petra Petrova.
[06:16.14]Petra Petrova
[06:17.91]Petra Petrova.
[06:17.91]Petra Petrova
[06:19.83]Bro's Lifemagazine's Girl of the Year for May.
[06:19.83]"男人終生的雜志"年度女孩的5月之花
[06:23.92]A delicate flower in stiletto pumps and leopard panties, straddling an ATV.
[06:23.92]穿著細(xì)高跟和豹紋內(nèi)褲的性感妞兒 橫掃整個亞視
[06:28.46]These magazines are so lame. I mean,she's probably airbrushed and enhanced.
[06:28.46]這本雜志真無趣 她也許不過炒作和包裝出來的
[06:31.59]I have a date with her.
[06:31.59]我和她有個約會
[06:32.58]You are my hero! Are you serious? How do you have a date with her?
[06:32.58]你簡直是我的英雄! 當(dāng)真? 你怎么能泡到她的?
[06:36.07]Not part of the story.
[06:36.07]這不是故事的重點(diǎn)
[06:37.49]Ted,I have been waiting a long time to say this.
[06:37.49]Ted 為了說這個 我等了很久
[06:41.34]This girl is the one.
[06:41.34]這是我要的女孩
[06:43.57]Of course she's the one. You have to marry those. Her.
[06:43.57]當(dāng)然啦 你應(yīng)該跟這些女孩結(jié)婚 這個女孩
[06:48.09]Marry? No.
[06:48.09]結(jié)婚? 才不
[06:51.17]I have something much,much more special in mind.
[06:51.17]我有更好的主意
[06:55.20]Petra here,if all goes well, will be my-- wait for it-- two hundredth.
[06:55.20]這個Petra 如果一切順利 將會是我的--等等-- 第200個妞兒
[06:59.90]Sorry,I couldn't wait. It's all too exciting.
[06:59.90]抱歉 我心急了 太令人興奮了
[07:01.87]Your two hundredth, as in "sex with"?
[07:01.87]你的第200個 "上床對象"?
[07:04.86]As in "sex with." I request the highest of fives.
[07:04.86]"上床對象" 我想來個最高的擊掌
[07:09.85]Not if I was wearing a HazMat suit.
[07:09.85]我只有穿著防護(hù)服才敢接掌
[07:13.22]200 is too many.
[07:13.22]200個也太多了
[07:15.05]Oh,right,'cause there can be too many of something wonderful.
[07:15.05]哦沒錯 也許爽的東西太多了
[07:18.90]"Hey,Babe Ruth, easy,big fella.
[07:18.90]"嘿 Babe Ruth 悠著點(diǎn) 大塊頭 (美國棒壇傳奇人物)
[07:21.43]Let's not hit too many homers."
[07:21.43]咱別擊出太多本壘打啦"
[07:22.83]"Hey, "Steve Guttenberg, "maybe just make three Police Academymovies.
[07:22.83]"嘿 斯蒂芬.斯皮爾伯格 只拍三部警匪片就夠了
[07:26.85]America's laughed enough."
[07:26.85]美國人笑夠了"
[07:28.66]Who are these girls?
[07:28.66]她們都是誰?
[07:30.56]That was rhetorical. Don't show me the list.
[07:30.56]我是在諷刺你 別給我看名單啊
[07:32.52]199 satisfied customers.
[07:32.52]199位滿意客戶
[07:35.87]Anyway,the big night is Thursday.
[07:35.87]周四才是大日子
[07:38.37]I'm having a celebratory soiree beforehand at MacLaren's.
[07:38.37]我要在MacLaren酒吧 預(yù)先舉辦一個慶祝派對
[07:41.89]Prepare a toast.
[07:41.89]準(zhǔn)備祝酒詞
[07:43.26]Black tie optional, but preferred.
[07:43.26]黑領(lǐng)結(jié)可選戴 但最好都戴
[07:45.05]Gifts are, look,I would say unnecessary, but follow your heart.
[07:45.05]至于禮物 瞧 我會說不需要 但你們盡可隨意
[07:48.40]Barney,200's too many.
[07:48.40]Barney 200個太多了
[07:50.12]- It's not too many. - It's too many!
[07:50.12]- 一點(diǎn)都不多 - 太多了!
[07:52.20]- It's not too many. - Thank you.
[07:52.20]- 并不算太多 - 謝謝
[07:54.27]Oh,no,don't get me wrong.
[07:54.27]哦 別誤解我的意思
[07:55.58]You're disgusting,and the cops should probably clamp a boot on your genitals,
[07:55.58]你個混蛋 警察早該給你的小JJ鉗個枷鎖
[07:59.55]but that number should be higher.
[07:59.55]但這個數(shù)目應(yīng)該更高才對
[08:01.82]After Barney told me about all this, I crunched the numbers and,well...
[08:01.82]自從Barney告訴我這些之后 我分析了下這些數(shù)字 然后...
[08:06.08]I had some charts made up.
[08:06.08]我做了些圖表
[08:09.50]Barney here hits on roughly 20 girls a week.
[08:09.50]這里顯示 '粗'率估算Barney每周泡20個妞兒
[08:12.18]Whoa,it's way more than 20.
[08:12.18]哦 多于20個
[08:13.99]And B. Smooth don't do nothing roughly.
[08:13.99]還有 是溫柔的 不是'粗'的
[08:16.91]Let's say 20.
[08:16.91]那我們就算是20個吧
[08:18.33]So,20 girls a week means 1,040 girls a year.
[08:18.33]那么一周20妞兒就意味著一年1,040個
[08:22.16]In Barney's 16 years of sexual activity,
[08:22.16]在Barney長達(dá)16年的性生活中
[08:25.07]that means he's hit on 16,640 girls.
[08:25.07]也就意味著他泡過16,640個妞兒
[08:29.39]Now,if he's bedded 199 of them, that is a success rate of...
[08:29.39]那么 如果他只上過其中的199個 那么成功率只是...
[08:36.01]a little over one percent.
[08:36.01]比1%多一點(diǎn)
[08:39.95]That's a batting average of 12, eight times worse
[08:39.95]這比擊中一個安打的幾率還差8倍
[08:43.58]than the career batting average of one-handed pitcher--
[08:43.58]是跟職業(yè)的獨(dú)臂投手的安打率相比哦
[08:47.32]that's right,pitcher-- Jim Abbott.
[08:47.32]沒錯 投手--Jim Abbott (右手殘疾的棒球運(yùn)動員)
[08:53.34]Jealous. Jealous. Hero.
[08:53.34]眼紅者 眼紅者 英雄
[08:57.02]Suspiciously quiet during this conversation about number of sex partners, hero.
[08:57.02]在此性伴侶數(shù)目的討論中非?？梢沙聊呐?英雄
[09:02.38]It's the grand total. That's the only number that matters.
[09:02.38]這是個總計(jì) 總數(shù)才是關(guān)鍵
[09:05.16]Says who?
[09:05.16]誰說的?
[09:06.26]Matthew Panning, the stud of Port Richmond Middle School.
[09:06.26]Matthew Panning Richmond港口中學(xué)的學(xué)生
[09:11.11]Stinson,you're such a dweeb-o.
[09:11.11]Stinson 你真是個孬種
[09:13.41]I bet you never even done it with a girl.
[09:13.41]我敢打賭你從沒干過一個妞兒
[09:15.37]Neither have you.
[09:15.37]你不也是
[09:16.86]How many times do I have to explain this?
[09:16.86]我還要強(qiáng)調(diào)多少回?
[09:19.29]I've done it with 100 girls.
[09:19.29]我都上過100個妞兒了
[09:20.91]They're seventh graders at my cousin's school on Long Island.
[09:20.91]她們在長島上七年級 我的表哥的同學(xué)
[09:23.53]Well,you know what,Matthew?
[09:23.53]好吧 你知道嘛 Matthew
[09:25.13]Someday, I'm gonna do it with 200.
[09:25.13]總有一天 我要上200個
[09:28.74]Yeah. Call me whenthathappens.
[09:28.74]好啊 到時記得通知我
[09:32.56]And call him I will.
[09:32.56]我會打給他的
[09:35.90]I think he's gonna say it again really slow.
[09:35.90]我猜他會慢慢地再說一次的
[09:38.77]Call him...
[09:38.77]我一定會...
[09:41.41]I will.
[09:41.41]打給他的
[09:43.63]Hey,you listed Gaby Allan twice, as 78 and 162.
[09:43.63]嘿 你名單上寫了2次Gaby Allan 第78條和第162條
[09:48.14]What? Let me see.
[09:48.14]什么? 讓我看看
[09:50.22]Seventy... Once. Oh,my God.
[09:50.22]70... 一次 天啊
[09:54.08]Wait a... I counted the same girl twice?
[09:54.08]等下...同一個妞我算了2次?
[09:56.33]That means I'm only at one 198?
[09:56.33]就是說只有198個?
[09:58.86]Well,that only means that you're half a percent less gross than we thought.
[09:58.86]說明你的猥瑣度降低0.5個百分點(diǎn)
[10:03.15]I'm seducing a Czech supermodel in two hours.
[10:03.15]2小時后我要去勾搭捷克超模
[10:06.09]I can't squander that on 199. Nooo!
[10:06.09]我不要她成為第199個 不!
[10:10.15]Petra has to be 200.
[10:10.15]Petra得是第200個
[10:12.57]Well,what are you going to do?
[10:12.57]你打算咋辦?
[10:13.80]I mean,it's not like you're going to find someone new to have sex with in the next two hours.
[10:13.80]我是說 要在接下來2小時內(nèi) 找個妞上床簡直難于上青天
[10:18.07]Barney Stinson, millionaire astronaut.
[10:18.07]Barney Stinson 富豪宇航員
[10:19.37]Want to come back to my place and see some moon shells?
[10:19.37]想去我家看些玉螺不?
[10:20.90]Go away.
[10:20.90]走開
[10:22.18]I just got back from my wife's grave.
[10:22.18]我剛從妻子的墓地回來
[10:23.44]Put her in the ground a year ago today. Man,I miss her.
[10:23.44]去年的今天埋她入土 天哪 我好想她
[10:25.88]I sure could use some comfort.
[10:25.88]讓我尋找些慰藉吧
[10:27.15]You're creepy.
[10:27.15]你真變態(tài)
[10:28.73]Man,aren't you sick of all the games?
[10:28.73]天哪 你還不厭倦紅塵么?
[10:30.41]I just want to settle down and have a gaggle of rug rats,like,right now.
[10:30.41]我只想安定下來 生一群小崽子 現(xiàn)在就想
[10:33.66]I have Mace, and I enjoy using it.
[10:33.66]我有防狼器 我很喜歡使用它
[10:39.14]Marshall?
[10:39.14]Marshall?
[10:40.38]knowing how important this is to me do you think Lily would even consider--
[10:40.38]現(xiàn)在對我來說千鈞一發(fā) 你覺得Lily會不會愿意
[10:43.27]And by the way,I would do all the work...
[10:43.27]我愿意付出一切代價...
[10:44.78]- I will end your life. - Right.
[10:44.78]- 我會結(jié)果了你 - 好吧
[10:52.63]Where'd Barney go? It's been over an hour.
[10:52.63]Barney去哪啦? 都一個多小時了
[10:54.83]You know,looking over the names on this list, I'm not sensing a lot of ethnic diversity.
[10:54.83]瞅著名單上的名字 我覺得沒多大種族差異性
[10:59.79]He should really look at that in himself.
[10:59.79]他真該仔細(xì)看看
[11:03.54]Okay. All done. 199 down,one more to go.
[11:03.54]好 完成 第199個搞定 還剩一個
[11:08.71]Hey,you done with your drink?
[11:08.71]嘿 你喝完了不?
[11:12.95]There's the stuff.
[11:12.95]真舒服
[11:16.24]What the hell happened to you?
[11:16.24]你到底咋回事?
[11:18.14]So,there's this girl at my gym-- Pauline--
[11:18.14]我的健身房里有個女孩 Pauline
[11:21.71]she's been after me for some time.
[11:21.71]她追了我很久
[11:23.46]Why'd you wait until now?
[11:23.46]那你為啥等到現(xiàn)在?
[11:24.77]She's not exactly my type.
[11:24.77]她絕不是我喜歡的那型
[11:26.95]Looking good,Pauline.
[11:26.95]看上去不錯 Pauline
[11:29.13]You are gonna rip it up at the Women's Pumping Iron Classic in Sarasota this fall.
[11:29.13]看來要在今秋的Sarasota 鐵人三項(xiàng)比賽中搏擊金牌哈
[11:38.53]So,um,I was thinking about you and me
[11:38.53]我在考慮我倆的事
[11:43.12]and if you're still interested,um...
[11:43.12]要你對我還有感覺...
[11:46.54]Okay,blondie, time for Mama's cardio!
[11:46.54]好的 小黃毛 投入媽媽的懷抱吧!
[11:48.86]Aw,geez! Mommy!
[11:48.86]天哪! 老媽!
[11:50.87]Every inch of her tasted like roast beef and creatine.
[11:50.87]她的肌膚舔起來盡是 烤牛肉味 還有肌酸味
[11:56.45]But I did it.
[11:56.45]但我做到了
[11:58.00]I did it and I still have 30 minutes before I'm supposed to meet Petra.
[11:58.00]而且離Petra的約會還剩30分鐘呢
[12:01.39]Robin,do you have any concealer handy?
[12:01.39]Robin 你有遮瑕膏嗎?
[12:03.15]I'd really like to cover up some bruises and razor burn.
[12:03.15]我想把淤青 灼傷統(tǒng)統(tǒng)遮掉
[12:06.23]Uh,Barney,I hate to break this to you, but,um...
[12:06.23]Barney 我不想打擊你 可是...
[12:10.72]What?
[12:10.72]啥?
[12:11.86]Well,you did count Gaby Allan twice,
[12:11.86]你的確把Gaby Allan算了2次
[12:14.94]but,um,you also went from 138 to 138.
[12:14.94]可列表上138后仍是138
[12:19.10]You used the same number twice.
[12:19.10]同一個數(shù)字你寫了2次
[12:21.17]Wait,so,that means Pauline wasn't 199 Pauline was 200?
[12:21.17]等下 就是說Pauline不是第199個 而是第200個?
[12:26.07]Congratulations!
[12:26.07]恭喜你!
[12:28.37]No,I-- That was supposed to be Petra!
[12:28.37]不 那位子是Petra的!
[12:30.81]Petra was supposed to be 200!
[12:30.81]Petra才是第200個!
[12:32.70]Gorgeous,feminine, "Doesn't wear a weight belt in bed," Petra!
[12:32.70]美麗 嬌柔 "床上不帶配重腰帶"的Petra!
[12:36.35]Hey,come on. You made it to 200.
[12:36.35]嘿 拜托 你搞定200個了
[12:39.21]You should be proud.
[12:39.21]你該自豪才對
[12:40.97]You should be tested but you should be proud.
[12:40.97]你該去檢查檢查 但引以為豪先
[12:44.17]Who cares if Pauline doesn't pose for bikini pictures in magazines?
[12:44.17]Pauline的比基尼雜志照不擺姿勢 也沒人在乎
[12:47.52]Actually,she does.
[12:47.52]問題是她肯定會擺
[12:48.81]She's gonna be in next week's issue ofMuscle Sexxy.
[12:48.81]她將成為下周的性感肌肉女郎
[12:51.83]And like many of the ladies in that magazine, Sexxy has two X's and one Y.
[12:51.83]和那本雜志里眾多女人一樣 有兩條X和一條Y染色體
[12:59.21]And so,on my way to get a bagel, I stopped at a newsstand for a full minute
[12:59.21]所以在買百吉餅的路上 我在報(bào)亭前停留了一會
[13:03.25]to check out a picture of Barney's 200th.
[13:03.25]瞅瞅Barney第200個妞的照片
[13:06.14]Oh,Barney...
[13:06.14]Barney...
[13:07.46]If I hadn't done that, I would've walked right by the newsstand,
[13:07.46]要是不這么做 我就會直接經(jīng)過報(bào)亭
[13:10.49]cut down 77th and gotten to that corner a minute early.
[13:10.49]穿過第77街 早一分鐘到達(dá)那轉(zhuǎn)角
[13:13.98]I would've gotten the bagel,done some work, and you kids might never have been born.
[13:13.98]買百吉餅 然后干些活 要是這樣 你們就不會來到這世上
[13:19.23]Now,why did I cut down 77th, and give a dollar to the homeless guy?
[13:19.23]為啥過第77街后 我會給流浪漢一塊錢呢?
[13:22.82]Here's why.
[13:22.82]是這樣的
[13:24.08]Back when Marshall first started working at Goliath National Bank...
[13:24.08]Marshall剛進(jìn)歌利亞國家銀行那會兒...
[13:28.38]Um,Fran, I don't mean to bother you but I have a big presentation tomorrow
[13:28.38]Fran 抱歉打擾下 我明天要做個報(bào)告
[13:32.23]and it would really help if I could get like some charts and graphs made up.
[13:32.23]要是我做些圖表 報(bào)告會就會更出彩
[13:35.87]Could you help me with that?
[13:35.87]你能幫幫我嗎?
[13:37.06]Honey,this is the graphics department.
[13:37.06]親愛的 這里是制圖部
[13:38.97]We can make as many graphs, as many charts in as many colors on as many kinds of paper as you want.
[13:38.97]隨你用何種顏色 何種紙質(zhì) 想怎么制圖表 就能怎么制
[13:45.45]Oh,Fran.
[13:45.45]Fran
[13:47.39]Oh,Frannie,Frannie,Fran.
[13:47.39]Frannie Frannie Fran
[13:50.77]We are gonna have some fun.
[13:50.77]我們來點(diǎn)有趣的玩玩
[13:52.97]I've ranked the Presidents in order of how dirty their names sound.
[13:52.97]按照名字讀音的猥瑣程度 我把總統(tǒng)名如下排序
[13:56.78]One: Johnson.
[13:56.78]第一名 Johnson(男性生殖器)
[13:58.76]Two: Bush.
[13:58.76]第二名 Bush(陰毛)
[14:00.70]Three: Harding.
[14:00.70]第三名 Harding(變硬)
[14:02.45]Four: Polk.
[14:02.45]第四名 Polk(波爾卡舞)
[14:05.55]This circle represents "People Who Are Breaking My Heart..."
[14:05.55]這個圈代表"傷透我心的人"
[14:10.05]and this circle represents "People Who Are Shaking My Confidence Daily."
[14:10.05]這個圈代表"每天打擊我自信的人"
[14:15.69]And where they overlap: Cecilia.
[14:15.69]相交起來就是Cecilia
[14:21.98]This is a pie chart describing my favorite bars.
[14:21.98]這是餅圖代表著我最愛去的酒吧
[14:28.01]And this is a bar graph describing my favorite pies.
[14:28.01]這個柱狀圖代表著我最愛吃的派 （pie和bar的互文）
[14:38.95]What's going on?
[14:38.95]咋回事?
[14:40.14]Enough with the charts.
[14:40.14]別再玩圖表
[14:41.65]And the graphs.
[14:41.65]還有曲線圖
[14:43.22]Really any visual representation of data.
[14:43.22]還有任何把數(shù)據(jù)形象化的統(tǒng)計(jì)法
[14:47.58]I'm not an idiot.
[14:47.58]我不是白癡
[14:49.13]Okay,uh,I know how you guys feel about my charts and my graphs.
[14:49.13]好吧 我知道你們對我的圖表有意見
[14:54.37]As a matter of fact, I've made a chart of your reaction to my charts. Let's take a look.
[14:54.37]事實(shí)上 我拿你們對圖標(biāo)的看法 制成了圖表 來瞧瞧吧
[14:58.20]Yes,it is true, since Cecelia,your interest in my charts has been steadily dropping.
[14:58.20]的確 自從Cecelia圖表之后 你們對圖表的興趣穩(wěn)步下跌
[15:04.01]But based on recent trends, I have also made...
[15:04.01]但是基于最近的走勢 我又制了份...
[15:08.35]A projection chart!
[15:08.35]投影圖!
[15:10.11]And look... huge spike in interest coming!
[15:10.11]瞧瞧...即將帶來巨大的回潮!
[15:12.86]And this isn't just some dead cat bounce.
[15:12.86]這可不是回光返照
[15:15.35]This is big sustainable growth over the long term.
[15:15.35]是長期的大幅度穩(wěn)固增長
[15:18.83]You're a big sustainable growth.
[15:18.83]去你的大幅度穩(wěn)固增長
[15:23.07]Okay,so,I have prepared a few charts to,uh,
[15:23.07]我制了些圖表來
[15:27.69]demonstrate how setting up a shell corporation in Bermuda
[15:27.69]闡述如何在百慕大開空頭公司
[15:30.73]could help minimize our second quarter losses.
[15:30.73]它能幫我們把第二季度的損失 降到最低
[15:34.47]And save you all some jail time.
[15:34.47]還能免除你們的牢獄之災(zāi)
[15:37.75]To begin with...
[15:37.75]首先...
[15:44.32]Could you just please excuse me?
[15:44.32]能稍等一會兒不?
[15:51.28]Mosbius Designs.
[15:51.28]Mosbius設(shè)計(jì)公司
[15:52.47]What the hell happened to my charts?
[15:52.47]我的圖表哪去了?
[15:53.98]- We threw them away. - What?
[15:53.98]- 我們?nèi)恿?- 啥?
[15:56.04]That's how an intervention works,Marshall.
[15:56.04]這么干預(yù)才有效嘛 Marshall
[15:57.80]You wouldn't stop using, so,we flushed your stash.
[15:57.80]你老是沒完沒了 我們只得斬草除根
[16:00.58]Come on,Ted! I need my charts,man!
[16:00.58]拜托 Ted! 圖表要派用場 伙計(jì)!
[16:03.25]Just for today and then I promise I will never ever use charts again.
[16:03.25]就今天 我保證以后再也不用圖表了
[16:05.85]I'm under at lot of pressure here. I need my charts,Jack!
[16:05.85]我快崩潰了 還我圖表 蠢蛋!
[16:09.97]Oh,my God,you're doing charts at work?
[16:09.97]我的天 你上班時間還在制圖表?
[16:11.96]They're for work,you idiot!
[16:11.96]派工作用場 蠢蛋!
[16:14.06]I'm giving a big presentation right now and if I don't have those charts I'm gonna get fired!
[16:14.06]我正在做報(bào)告 要是沒那些圖表 我就會被炒魷魚!
[16:17.43]Oh,crap. Um,okay,uh,stay right there. I'll bring them to you.
[16:17.43]真要命 好的 等著 我馬上送來
[16:21.14]Hurry up! I'll try to think of a way to stall them.
[16:21.14]快點(diǎn) 我得想辦法拖延時間
[16:25.37]Hi,okay,um...
[16:25.37]嗨 好的...
[16:27.22]I'm sorry but there's been a little delay with the charts.
[16:27.22]抱歉圖表會晚點(diǎn)到
[16:29.37]But we will get started in just a minute.
[16:29.37]我們馬上開始吧
[16:38.73]Fish are weird,right?
[16:38.73]魚很怪異 對吧?
[16:41.11]I mean,uh,what's up with fish?
[16:41.11]我是說 魚哪怪了?
[16:49.56]Charts! Get your charts here!
[16:49.56]圖表! 看看圖表吧!
[16:53.85]Oh,uh,excuse me,Milt?
[16:53.85]打擾下 Milt?
[16:56.05]Um,I think those are my charts.
[16:56.05]我想那些圖表是我的
[16:58.63]- These charts? - Yeah.
[16:58.63]- 這些圖表? - 嗯
[16:59.80]On my blanket?
[16:59.80]毯子上的呢?
[17:01.17]Uh,that's also my blanket. We'll get to that later.
[17:01.17]其實(shí)毯子也是我的 那些我們慢點(diǎn)說
[17:03.82]But I really need these charts.
[17:03.82]我現(xiàn)在就要這些圖標(biāo)
[17:05.39]Oh,good,'cause they're for sale.
[17:05.39]好 我正在賣呢
[17:07.72]Fine,how much?
[17:07.72]好吧 多少錢?
[17:09.54]Uh,one million dollars.
[17:09.54]一百萬
[17:12.60]I'll give you five bucks.
[17:12.60]我給你5塊
[17:13.77]A million dollars.
[17:13.77]一百萬
[17:15.45]No one's gonna pay a million dollars for these charts!
[17:15.45]鬼才會花一百萬買這些圖表!
[17:19.11]One million dollars.
[17:19.11]一百萬
[17:20.79]Okay,Milt,you win.
[17:20.79]好吧 敗給你了
[17:23.48]I'm gonna give you one million dollars.
[17:23.48]我會付一百萬
[17:26.57]Urinating...
[17:26.57]噓噓...
[17:28.28]The problem is,the ATM...
[17:28.28]問題是ATM機(jī)...
[17:30.04]The alien time machine.
[17:30.04]外星時空機(jī)
[17:32.13]The alien time machine has a withdrawal limit.
[17:32.13]外星時空機(jī)有提款限制
[17:35.56]So,here's what I'm gonna do.
[17:35.56]所以我想這么做
[17:36.80]I'm gonna give you one dollar a day for a million days.
[17:36.80]我每天給你一塊直至一百萬天
[17:43.36]That's,uh...
[17:43.36]要...
[17:45.16]- That's 2700 years. - Yeah.
[17:45.16]- 要2700年 - 嗯
[17:48.21]Deal!
[17:48.21]成交!
[17:52.26]Sucker.
[17:52.26]蠢蛋
[17:54.34]I'm sorry,is there a land bass I don't know about?
[17:54.34]不好意思 還有哪種鱸魚我不知道?
[18:01.59]Let's get started.
[18:01.59]我們開始吧
[18:02.69]And so,if I hadn't bought those charts back for Marshall,
[18:02.69]要是我不把圖表送還給Marshall
[18:05.46]I wouldn't have had to cut down 77th to give Milt his daily dollar and well,you know the rest.
[18:05.46]露過第77街后就不會 給Milt一塊錢 結(jié)果可想而知
[18:11.30]So,there you have it,kids.
[18:11.30]你們現(xiàn)在知道了吧 孩子們
[18:13.02]There's a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen.
[18:13.02]很多微不足道的小事 促成了人生的重大節(jié)點(diǎn)
[18:16.23]If I had known then where all those little things were leading me,
[18:16.23]要是那時我知道這些小事會促成
[18:18.97]and how grateful I'd be to get there, well,I probably would've done something like this.
[18:18.97]我現(xiàn)在的幸福生活 我會滿懷感激地這么做
[18:25.33]* Hey,glad girls only wanna get you high
[18:32.68]* Hey,glad girls only wanna get you high
[18:39.93]* Hey,glad girls Only wanna get you high
[18:48.48]* And they're all right
[18:50.42]* And they're all right
[18:52.17]* And they're all right
[18:54.01]* And they're all right
[18:55.41]* Glad girls only wanna get you high
[19:01.42]* And they're all right
[19:05.05]'Cause somehow,I ended up in the right place at the right time.
[19:05.05]因?yàn)橼ぺぶ?我處于 對的時間 對的地點(diǎn)
[19:08.89]And,as a result, my life would never be the same.
[19:08.89]此后我的生活不再平淡
[19:28.17]A few days later,Uncle Barney finally confronted Matthew Panning,
[19:28.17]第二天Barney叔叔終于見到Matthew Panning
[19:31.14]the stud of Port Richmond Middle School.
[19:31.14]利治蒙港中學(xué)的小霸王
[19:33.33]So,Barney,great to hear from you after all this time.
[19:33.33]Barney 真高興接到你電話
[19:36.27]What's been going on?
[19:36.27]過得咋樣?
[19:37.37]I've had sex with 200 women.
[19:37.37]我和200個妞上過床了
[19:41.33]Oh,God! That's way too many.
[19:41.33]我的天! 太多了吧
[19:44.56]I mean,that's just gross.
[19:44.56]我是說 有點(diǎn)惡心
[19:46.89]Have you sought counseling for sex addiction?
[19:46.89]你去咨詢過性上癮癥嗎?
[19:48.75]Because you're a prime candidate.
[19:48.75]你這樣可不妙
[19:50.30]Uh,have you sought counseling for I win you lose?
[19:50.30]你去咨詢過我贏你輸不?
[19:53.35]Yeah,suddenly those 100 girls you nailed in the seventh grade aren't so impressive.
[19:53.35]嗯 你初一就泡到100妞也不怎么厲害
[19:58.52]100 girls? Is that what this is about?
[19:58.52]100個妞? 就為這破事?
[20:01.29]Barney,I lied.
[20:01.29]Barney 我騙你的
[20:02.97]Sure you did.
[20:02.97]你確實(shí)干了
[20:04.30]I was 12-- of course I was lying.
[20:04.30]我才12歲 撒謊的年紀(jì)
[20:06.97]I didn't have a pet Ewok either.
[20:06.97]我也沒有養(yǎng)Ewok(見電影星球大戰(zhàn))
[20:09.09]Sure you didn't.
[20:09.09]你確實(shí)沒有
[20:11.07]Your whole adult life has been built around something I lied about when I was 12?
[20:11.07]你的全部生活都圍繞著 我12歲時說的謊話?
[20:17.29]Jealous?
[20:17.29]嫉妒了?
[20:18.84]Look,I gotta go pick my kids up at school.
[20:18.84]聽著 我得去接孩子回家
[20:21.53]It sounds like you got a lot of problems.
[20:21.53]貌似你病得不輕
[20:24.09]Good luck,I guess.
[20:24.09]祝你好運(yùn)
[20:27.93]I'm awesome.
[20:27.93]我真牛逼
[20:30.74]Okay,200.
[20:30.74]好吧 200
[20:34.94]Now what?
[20:34.94]然后呢?