GRE寫作官方題庫(kù)高頻ARGUMENT題目滿分范文分享：roller-skating accidents and protective equipment
GRE作文官方題庫(kù)ARGUMENT題目：
Hospitals indicate that roller-skating accidents are high and that there is a clear need for more protective equipment. Within the group of people reported as having been injured in roller-skating accidents, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). Clearly, the statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.
滿分范文賞析
The argument above is well presented and appears to be relatively sound at first glance. Because of the hospital statistics regarding people who arrive after roller-skating accidents, the roller skaters should invest in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment which will reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident. Upon closer examination, it is easy to identify the unproven assumptions upon which the argument is based.
【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了非標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument開(kāi)頭段結(jié)構(gòu)。即：E– C - F的開(kāi)頭結(jié)構(gòu)，首句概括原文的概括了原文為了結(jié)論所引用的E(evidence)，接下來(lái)提出Evidence所支持的C(Conclusion)。。最后尾句中給出開(kāi)頭段到正文段的過(guò)渡句，指出原文在邏輯上存在F(Flaw)。
【此段功能】
本段作為Argument開(kāi)頭段，具體功能就在發(fā)起攻擊。首先，概括了原文中的證據(jù)：醫(yī)院關(guān)于roller skater受傷情況的統(tǒng)計(jì)，接下里提出原文的結(jié)論：roller skater應(yīng)該用high-quality protective gear 和 reflective equipment來(lái)減少事故受傷。最后點(diǎn)出原文存在邏輯錯(cuò)誤，引出后面的分析。
To begin with, as mentioned in the argument, there are two distinct kinds of gear—preventative gear, such as light reflecting material, and protective gear, such as helmets. Preventative gear warns others, presumably motorists, of the presence of the roller skater. It works only if the “other” is a responsible and caring individual who will afford the skater the necessary space and attention. Protective gear is intended to reduce the effect of any accident, whether or not it is caused by the skater or by an external force. Protective gear does little, if anything, to prevent accidents but is presumed to reduce the injuries that occur in an accident.
【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu)，即：概括第一個(gè)邏輯錯(cuò)誤的錯(cuò)誤類型和原文犯錯(cuò)位置，接下來(lái)給出合理的理由和他因來(lái)反駁原文。
【此段功能】
本段作為正文第一段，攻擊文章犯的主要邏輯錯(cuò)誤：錯(cuò)誤因果。作者提出原文中的結(jié)論的結(jié)論不夠準(zhǔn)確。作者認(rèn)為，protective gear可以不能阻止accident，但可以減少accident 造成的 injury。而preventive gear才能阻止accident.
In addition, the argument is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the inherent differences between skaters who wear gear and those who do not. It is at least likely that those who wear gear may be generally more responsible and/or safety conscious individuals. The skaters who wear gear may be less likely to cause accidents through careless or dangerous behavior. It may, in fact, be their natural caution and responsibility that keeps them out of the emergency room rather than the gear itself. Also, the statistic above is based entirely on those who are skating in streets and parking lots—relatively dangerous places to skate. People who are generally more safety conscious may choose to skate in safer areas such as parks or back yards.
【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu)，即：概括第二個(gè)邏輯錯(cuò)誤的錯(cuò)誤類型和原文犯錯(cuò)位置，接下來(lái)給出合理的理由和他因來(lái)反駁原文。
【此段功能】
本段作為正文第二段，攻擊文章犯的主要邏輯錯(cuò)誤：錯(cuò)誤因果(忽略他因)+調(diào)查類錯(cuò)誤。作者認(rèn)為原文忽略了帶防護(hù)設(shè)備和不帶防護(hù)設(shè)備的skater內(nèi)在的區(qū)別。作者認(rèn)為，帶gear的人要更小心謹(jǐn)慎，而且很少會(huì)因?yàn)閏areless或dangerous behavior而受傷。進(jìn)一步，作者提出文章存在調(diào)查類錯(cuò)誤。文中引用的調(diào)查中參與者是在street和parking lot這樣危險(xiǎn)的地方上滑冰的人，而謹(jǐn)慎的人一般在parks或back yards滑冰。
Moreover, no evidence is presented to substantiate that safety gear prevents severe injuries. In the likeliest case scenario, if there were a severe accident, safety garments would only reduce the overall severity of the injury sustained. Also, given that skating is a recreational activity that may be primarily engaged in during evenings and weekends when doctors' offices are closed, skater with less severe injuries may be especially likely to come to the emergency room for treatment. So, actually, the number of accidents represented in the emergency room may be misleading.
【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu)，即：概括第三個(gè)邏輯錯(cuò)誤的錯(cuò)誤類型和原文犯錯(cuò)位置，接下來(lái)給出合理的理由和他因來(lái)反駁原文。
【此段功能】
本段作為正文第三段，攻擊文章犯的主要邏輯錯(cuò)誤：錯(cuò)誤因果(無(wú)理由推斷)+調(diào)查類錯(cuò)誤。作者認(rèn)為原文中關(guān)于“safety gear可以減少重傷的論斷”的論斷是不合理的。作者提出，safety gear只能減少傷害的嚴(yán)重程度。同時(shí)，作者認(rèn)為skating通常在晚上或周末進(jìn)行，受輕傷的人一般會(huì)去急診室，所以原文中引用的關(guān)于急診室數(shù)據(jù)的調(diào)查是靠不住的。
