為幫助各位網(wǎng)友更好地備考12月24日英語四六級作文考試，特對四六級寫作存在的典型錯(cuò)誤用例文進(jìn)行精彩點(diǎn)評。由于下面一些例文中錯(cuò)誤較多，點(diǎn)評時(shí)只是列舉了部分的典型錯(cuò)誤，而且為了保持原文面貌，編輯沒有做過多的改動(dòng)，所以歡迎大家一起來挑錯(cuò)，有問題一起討論。
英語四級作文題目： "Women in the Modern World"
英語四級作文提綱：
1. Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today.________
2. With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. ______
3. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. __
例1． （2分段）
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Long age, women only did something in the kitchen or at home. Now many of them have serious jobs to serve for people. What men can do so can women.
With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. Today in the family, the wife often lots her husband to do something at home bat ago, only women did something. Men are foned of doing something at home.
In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened. In the factory the wonmen to as much as the men, but they are paid less than the men. Some people have not completely realized the liberation of women.
東方教育點(diǎn)評：條理不清，思路紊亂，大部分句子均有錯(cuò)誤，有的甚至影響理解。具體問題剖析如下：
(1)缺乏邏輯，東一句西一句，沒有圍繞中心論述，如第一段就沒有展開論述婦女社會角色的轉(zhuǎn)變，說得太籠統(tǒng)而缺乏說服力。
?。?）用漢語思維，句子有明顯的漢語痕跡，如"What men can do so can women."，應(yīng)改為"Women can do what men can do"。
（3）銜接不自然，沒有用適當(dāng)?shù)年P(guān)聯(lián)詞，如"Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened"，應(yīng)改為"The case that husband hits his wife often happens. "
?。?）拼寫錯(cuò)誤很多，大部分句子均有錯(cuò)誤。
例2．（5分段 ）
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. In today, many women have a work. They worked as well as men playing an important part in factories. There are many women in government also. They lead other people country, and make out plans. There are many scientist slso. They event new things to improve our life.
With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. In ancient, women's position in family is pity. They had to looks after their children, did every how husband ordered her to do. But now it is changed. They are equal to her husband. They have the right of speaking of idea, discussion thing with her husband, do what she wants to do.
In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. We also should realize, women' likerty are limited. For example, many factories want men become its workers but the chance of women is less than men. Everyone should do their best to change this condition. I'm sure, the liberation of women would be increased.
東方教育點(diǎn)評：基本切題。但表達(dá)思想不清楚，連貫性差。有較多的嚴(yán)重語言錯(cuò)誤。具體問題剖析：
?。?）各段圍繞中心句論述不深入，沒有說服力。
?。?）銜接不自然，沒有用適當(dāng)?shù)年P(guān)聯(lián)詞，如第一段幾個(gè)句子之間可以用一些"besides"、"on the other hand"、"furthermore"、"in addition"等。
?。?）語言錯(cuò)誤較多，很多句子不通順，如"In today, many women have a work."應(yīng)改為"Today, many women get a job."(濫用介詞)；"In ancient, women's position in family is pity"中pity應(yīng)改為pitiful（詞形誤用）等有多處錯(cuò)誤。
例3．（8分段）
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Many Women today are playing an important part at works that was thought only could be done by the men before. For an example. Some women are not secrtary in the office, instead, they become manager of a company.
With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. In the world today, more and more women have their own job. They get their own salary, and become more independent from their husband. With the economic situation improved, their family position is improving.
