英語沙龍十年合集珍藏版第三輯About A Friend
About A Friend
He wasn't a guy of big words1)，and he seemed to live entirely in his own world．I remember that during the days he worked with us none of us exactly knew who he was，where he came from or what he was looking for，and afterwards he disappeared．Nobody knew where he had gone，what he was doing or if he had friends or a family to stay with．I guess，we didn't even know his name－－and even if we did，I've forgotten it anyway．
Those days were more than hard for all of us．There seemed to be no escape from the greyness 2)of our everyday life which was the only colour that surrounded us．The huge concrete blocks we lived in was grey，the grey of the factory dust，even the colour of our clothes，that once might have been white was grey．It must have been a bright and shining white．．．and I can't exactly recall how much time I spent trying to imagine the kind of white it might have been．Since white was the colour of the kind of paradise3) I so much longed4) to live in some day，grey left behind nothing more than a bitter taste of emptiness5) and depression．I can remember how I noticed once，that any other colour must be a symbol for something，a feeling or whatever．Only grey seemed to stand for absolutely nothing．This was the world I lived in，and so did he．
Having our job in the factory was still luxury though，considering the fact that most of us had families to feed．And not long after he started to work there，I would always find him working at the machine next to mine．We'd work for hours next to each other，staying quiet，with our thoughts drifting away6) to a different place but still aware of our hands doing the same movements over and over again．We were doing that until the bell would ring to end the work for the day．I used to work in a mechanical way，following the same rhythm over and over again，and so did he．But every time I was about to give up，he would lift his head and give me a little smile，as if he could guess my thoughts．I think it was actually his eyes that impressed me most．They were so dark and straight，and though they seem to be hiding anything，I couldn't get rid of the impression that somehow he must be hiding something．
Since I first saw him，he had always been around，and every time he gave me one of those smiles，he would spread a bit of warmth into my heart，a bit of friendliness．I guess，at the end of the day it must have been him who gave me the strength to go on somehow，just by being there．
Well，to make a long story short，he died only a year after he started working with us．It was a car accident and he didn't have to suffer very long．I must have been his only friend in town，at least that was what I thought when I went to his funeral．The only person I met there was an old lady，maybe his mother．She told me that he had lost his family just the year before and after that he didn't speak any more．He hadn't said a single word．First I didn't believe her．I just thought that he was a fairly quiet person；besides there was nothing much to say anyway．But suddenly I realized that I couldn't recall ever having heard his voice at all．Only then did I realize it．
He gave me so much and I knew so little about him．He had been my friend and now I had lost him without having had the chance to give anything back．He had been so strong that he was able to give whatever had happened．
I felt weak in those days．And guilty7)．But after that I started to care for the people around me．I think I started to live．
□by Claudia Duwe
一 個(gè) 朋 友
他不是一個(gè)說大話的人。他似乎完全生活在一個(gè)人的世界里。記憶中，在他和我們共事的那段日子里，我們中沒有人能確切地知道他是誰，來自何方，或者在尋求什么；之后他便消失了。誰也不清楚他去了哪里，他做些什么，究竟他有沒有朋友或是家人。我想我們甚至無人知曉他的姓氏?；蛟S聽到過，但是我卻記不清了。
那段日子對(duì)我們來講真是艱難無比。似乎沒有任何辦法能擺脫圍繞著我們的灰蒙蒙色調(diào)的生活。我們居住的巨大的混凝土樓房是灰色的，工廠的塵埃是灰色的，甚至我們的衣服也是灰色的，而它們?cè)械念伾蛟S是白色，而且一定是那種雪亮的白色……我記不起多少次我曾努力地去想像那究竟是一種何樣的白色。既然白色構(gòu)成了天堂---我夢(mèng)寐以求的來世之家---的色調(diào)，那么灰色給我留下的除了空虛與壓抑之外，還是空虛與壓抑。我還記得我曾注意到每一種顏色都是一種事物、性格或是其他什么的象征。惟有灰色沒有任何的意義。這就是我，也是他，生活于其中的世界。
不管怎樣，在工廠做工對(duì)我們已屬難得，因?yàn)槲覀兌鄶?shù)人還要養(yǎng)家糊口。他來廠里工作不久，我便總看到他緊挨著我的工作臺(tái)干活兒。我們常常默默無語地一干就是幾個(gè)鐘頭，雙手一遍又一遍地重復(fù)著同一套動(dòng)作，可思緒卻飛到了不知何方，直到收工的鈴聲響起才停下了手中的活計(jì)。我一直就是這樣機(jī)械地、一遍遍地、以同一種節(jié)奏做著工。他也是如此。而每一次我正要打算放棄時(shí)，他總會(huì)抬起頭，送給我一個(gè)淡淡的微笑。似乎他能猜出我的心思。我想實(shí)際是他的眼神深深地打動(dòng)了我。它們是那樣的深邃、坦蕩、無掩。然而我還是感受到他心中有一種難言之隱。
從我頭一次見到他起，他便總是出現(xiàn)在我的周圍。每次他向我投以微笑時(shí)，他同時(shí)也將一絲絲的溫暖和友情送入我的心房。我想每一天結(jié)束時(shí)，一定是他給了我無論如何也要繼續(xù)下去的力量。
好了，長(zhǎng)話短說。他與我們共事一年后便去世了。是一次沒有讓他受苦痛的車禍奪走了他的生命。我肯定是他城里惟一的朋友，至少在葬禮上我是這樣認(rèn)為的。我遇到的惟一的一個(gè)人是位老太太，或許是他的母親。她告訴我說，就在一年前他失去了家庭，從此便沒有開口說過話，再也沒有說過一個(gè)字。起初我不信她的話。我只是一直覺得他是一個(gè)寡言少語的人；再說，本來也沒有什么好說的。但是猛然間，我意識(shí)到我確實(shí)想不起曾聽過他的聲音。此時(shí)此刻我才明白。
他給予我如此之多，而我對(duì)他的了解卻如此之少。他一直是我的朋友，而我還沒有機(jī)會(huì)回報(bào)他便失去了他。他始終是那么堅(jiān)強(qiáng)，無論發(fā)生什么也在無私地給予。
那段日子里，我感到很弱，也很內(nèi)疚?？墒菑拇艘院?，我開始將關(guān)心投向周圍的人，我開始了新生。
NOTE 注釋：
1. big word 大話，吹牛
2. greyness [^reinis] n. 灰暗，灰色調(diào)
3. paradise [5pArEdaiz] n. 天堂
4. long [lCN] vi. 渴望，熱望
5. emptiness [5emptinis] n. 空虛
6. drift away 慢慢散去
7. guilty [5^ilti] adj. 內(nèi)疚地，心虛的
