雙語短文 · 你的幸福你負責

You Are the Only One Who Can Make You Happy 你的幸福你負責

◎ Chantal Beaupre

“You are the only one who can make you happy.” We have all heard that so many times in our lives.
There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won’t allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.
However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile that is happiness. You know those times when you can’t wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels...YOU’RE ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.
As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us, us)... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our happiness.
So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.
How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn’t like and set about making changes. It doesn’t have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can’t afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven’t had a vacation for awhile and just can’t afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.
Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.
You may be saying, “Sure, that sounds so easy but...” Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.
If your unhappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.
Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don’t like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!


“你是唯一可以讓自己幸福的人。”我們總是聽到別人這么對我們說。
有時生活就像一塊堅硬苦澀的藥，讓人難以接受。實際上，你周圍的人對你的心情有很大的影響。比如早上你的孩子不聽話，你的狗晚上給你留下一堆特殊的東西，車子撞上墻后交通限速，工作時你的同事打電話來請病假……這些都會對你一天的幸福感產生影響。
但是，情緒和暫時的情感都和幸福是不同的。幸福是你看見自己生活的整個畫面時，你面帶微笑。你的笑容那是幸福。你知道，你沒能等孩子去睡覺，但當你去檢查孩子睡得是否安穩(wěn)時你幾乎流淚，因為他們確實像天使一樣睡得那么香……這是你那美麗的天使。你不會記得他們惹你生氣的時候。這就是幸福。
隨著生活的變化和進展，我們意識到我們自己是誰（是什么造就了現(xiàn)在的我們，我們）……我們的責任是什么？我們知道暫時的滿足和煩惱只會讓我們的情緒得到短暫的安寧或是惡化。我們對自己的看法才會決定我們的精神狀態(tài)，而精神狀態(tài)決定著我們的幸福。
所以，我們應怎樣控制自己的情緒，去尋找通向幸福的捷徑呢？這是一個很值得探討的問題。已經有很多的書籍對這個問題進行了說明。你可以去閱讀這些書并付諸實踐，直到你完全被搞糊涂了?；蛘?，我們可以用閑暇時間思量并確定，是什么讓我們得到幸福。這可能花去我們更多的時間和精力，并帶給我們更多的挫敗感。
如果我們這么做呢？如果我們首先自己評估一番，確定什么是我們喜愛的，什么是我們不喜愛的，然后開始改變。不一定要是很大的變化。例如，你厭倦了現(xiàn)在的房子，又沒有錢買新的，那么你可以試著給自己的房子刷新油漆，或是買一些花放在餐桌上。如果你沒有一個完整的長假去旅行，那么你可以試著去露營。
這些問題或許會涉及更多的隱私。你很容易就發(fā)火嗎？那就學習瑜伽，或是冥想吧！你有婚姻問題嗎？那就去咨詢婚姻顧問吧！你的孩子有紀律問題嗎？那就找出問題的關鍵，然后建立指導方針，列出你如何糾正問題的要領，并堅持下去。
或許你會說：“當然可以，這聽起來容易，但是……”當然，說來容易，做起來很難。但是，問題是難還是簡單，在于我們解決它的決心是大還是小?；蛟S有時是我們把問題復雜化了。
如果你的不快樂源于情況超出你的控制，那么你可以尋找其他方式來補償。例如，如果你的錢很緊張，也不太可能會突發(fā)橫財，那就找些便宜的娛樂方式。在后院踢足球，到公園去野餐，邊吃爆米花邊看電影，或是在臥室吃零食，做一些事情來替代一次昂貴的外出。如果問題更為嚴重，而你又力不從心，你可以向專業(yè)人士尋求幫助。
照照鏡子就喜樂。如果你不喜歡你看到的，那就去改變它。方法就是這么簡單！