Unit 3
Section A
Pre-reading Activities
First Listening
Please listen to a short passage carefully and prepare to answer some questions.
Second Listening
Listen to the tape again. Then answer the following questions with your own experiences.
1) For what two reasons did Gail and Mark live together?
2) How did Gail's father and mother react to the news about the wedding plans?
3) In what ways are Gail's and her father's views different?
Marriage Across the Nations
Gail and I imagined a quiet wedding. During our two years together we had experienced the usual ups and downs of a couple learning to know, understand, and respect each other. But through it all we had honestly confronted the weaknesses and strengths of each other's characters.
Our racial and cultural differences enhanced our relationship and taught us a great deal about tolerance, compromise, and being open with each other. Gail sometimes wondered why I and other blacks were so involved with the racial issue, and I was surprised that she seemed to forget the subtler forms of racial hatred in American society.
Gail and I had no illusions about what the future held for us as a married, mixed couple in America. The continual source of our strength was our mutual trust and respect.
We wanted to avoid the mistake made by many couples of marrying for the wrong reasons, and only finding out ten, twenty, or thirty years later that they were incompatible, that they hardly took the time to know each other, that they overlooked serious personality conflicts in the expectation that marriage was an automatic way to make everything work out right. That point was emphasized by the fact that Gail's parents, after thirty-five years of marriage, were going through a bitter and painful divorce, which had destroyed Gail and for a time had a negative effect on our budding relationship.
When Gail spread the news of our wedding plans to her family she met with some resistance. Her mother, Deborah, all along had been supportive of our relationship, and even joked about when we were going to get married so she could have grandchildren. Instead of congratulations upon hearing our news, Deborah counseled Gail to be really sure she was doing the right thing.
"So it was all right for me to date him, but it's wrong for me to marry him. Is his color the problem, Mom?" Gail subsequently told me she had asked her mother.
"To start with I must admit that at first I harbored reservations about a mixed marriage, prejudices you might even call them. But when I met Mark I found him a charming and intelligent young guy. Any mother would be proud to have him for a son-in-law. So, color has nothing to do with it. Yes, my friends talk. Some even express shock at what you're doing. But they live in a different world. So you see, Mark's color is not the problem. My biggest worry is that you may be marrying Mark for the same wrong reasons that I married your father. When we met I saw him as my beloved, intelligent, charming, and caring. It was all so new, all so exciting, and we both thought, on the surface at least, that ours was an ideal marriage with every indication that it would last forever. I realized only later that I didn't know my beloved, your father, very well when we married."
"But Mark and I have been together more than two years," Gail railed. "We've been through so much together. We've seen each other at our worst many times. I'm sure that time will only confirm what we feel deeply about each other."
"You may be right. But I still think that waiting won't hurt. You're only twenty-five."
Gail's father, David, whom I had not yet met personally, approached our decision with a father-knows-best attitude. He basically asked the same questions as Gail's mother: "Why the haste? Who is this Mark? What's his citizenship status?" And when he learned of my problems with the Citizenship department, he immediately suspected that I was marrying his daughter in order to remain in the United States.
"But Dad, that's harsh," Gail said.
"Then why the rush? Buy time, buy time," he remarked repeatedly.
"Mark has had problems with citizenship before and has always taken care of them himself," Gail defended." In fact, he made it very clear when we were discussing marriage that if I had any doubts about anything, I should not hesitate to cancel our plans."
Her father proceeded to quote statistics showing that mixed couples had higher divorce rates than couples of the same race and gave examples of mixed couples he had counseled who were having marital difficulties.
"Have you thought about the hardships your children would go through?" he asked.
"Dad, are you a racist?"
"No, of course not. But you have to be realistic."
"Maybe our children will have some problems, but whose children don't? But one thing they'll always have: our love and devotion."
"That's idealistic. People can be very cruel toward children from mixed marriages."
"Dad, we'll worry about that when the time comes. If we had to resolve all doubt before we acted, very little would ever get done."
"Remember, it's never too late to change your mind."
Words: 809
NEW WORDS
character
n. 1. [C] mental or moral qualities that make a person, group, nation, etc., different from others (指個人、民族、社會特有的) 天性, 性格, 本質(zhì), 特征
2. [C] all those qualities that make a thing, a place, an event, etc., what it is and different from others (事物、地方、事件的) 特點, 特性, 特征
tolerance
n. 1. [U] willingness or ability to accept sth. 容忍,寬容
2. [U] the ability to bear sth. unpleasant, or to continue existing in spite of bad conditions 忍耐力
compromise
n. [C, U] giving up of certain demands by each side, so that an agreement may be reached which satisfies both to some degree 妥協(xié),折衷,和解
vi. settle a difference, etc., by making a compromise 妥協(xié),折衷
vt. bring sb./sth./oneself into danger by foolish acts 危及……的安全,使受牽連
▲subtle
a. 1. not easy to tell or describe; fine; slight (因細微、精巧或微妙而) 難于覺察或描述的;精巧的;巧妙的
2. secret; tricky 詭秘的;狡詐的
hatred
n. [U] very strong dislike; hate 痛恨,憎恨
▲illusion
n. 1. [C] a false idea, belief or impression 錯誤的觀點、信念或印象
2. [C] a thing that a person wrongly believes to exist; a false idea 假象
married
a. 1. having a husband or wife 有夫或有妻的,已婚的
2. of marriage 婚姻的
mutual
a. 1. (of feeling or an action) felt or done by each to the other(指感情或行動)相互的
2. shared by two or more people (兩人或多人) 共同的,共有的
▲compatible
a. 1. (of people, ideas, differences, etc.) suitable; able to exist together (指人、思想、論點、原則等)適合的;可共存的
2. (of equipment) able to use together (指設備) 兼容的,配套的
incompatible
a. not able to live or work happily with sb. 不能愉快地一起生活或共事的
overlook
vt. 1. fail to see or notice sth.; miss 漏看,沒注意到;忽略
2. pretend not to notice; forgive 不予注意;寬恕
3. have or give a view of (a place) from above 俯視,眺望
expectation
n. 1. [U] firm belief that sth. will happen; hope of getting sth./that sth. will happen 期待,期望
2. (pl.) confident feelings (about sth.)(對某事)有信心的指望
divorce
n. 1. [C, U] lawful ending of a marriage 離婚
2. [C] separation; ending of a connection 斷絕關系, 分離
v. end a marriage by a lawful process 離婚
vt. separate sb./sth. from sth., esp. in a false way 使分離,使脫離
▲bud
vi. produce buds 發(fā)芽,萌芽
n. [C] a small part of a plant which sticks out from a branch and will develop into a flower 芽,花蕾
resistance
n. 1. [U] being against sth. 反對,敵對
2. [U] (sing.)(action of) using force to be against sth./sb. 抵抗, 對抗
congratulation
n. 1. (pl.) words that show pleasure about one's good fortune or success 賀詞,贊詞
2. praising sb. and saying that you are pleased about a special or unusual success 祝賀,道喜
counsel
vt. advise; give advice and support to 勸告, 忠告;輔導, 提供咨詢
n. [U] advice; ideas 勸告,意見,建議
subsequent
a. later, following 后來的,隨后的,繼起的
subsequently
ad. after that, afterwards 后來,接著
harbor (英harbour)
vt. 1. keep (sth.) secretly in one's mind 心懷,懷有
2. give shelter to (a criminal, etc.); protect 庇護,窩藏(罪犯);隱匿
n. [C, U] place of shelter for ships 港,港口
reservation
n. 1. [U, C] (esp. pl.) spoken or unspoken limit which prevents one's agreement with a plan, or accepting of an idea, etc. (講出或未講出的)保留條件,限制條件
2. [C] order of seats, etc. 預訂座位(車票、機票等)
prejudice
n. [C] opinion, or like or dislike of sb./sth. , that is not founded on experience or reason 偏見,成見
vt. 1. cause sb. to have a prejudice; influence sb. 有偏見 (或偏愛)
2. cause harm to; make weak 傷害,損害
charm
n. [U] power of pleasing or attracting people; attractiveness 魅力;吸引力
vt. attract,delight, or influence by charm 使高興, 使迷醉, 吸引
guy
n. [C] (informal) man (非正式)家伙,伙計
son-in-law
n. [C] husband of one's daughter 女婿
beloved
n. darling 心愛的人
a. much loved 心愛的,親愛的
indication
n. [C, U] words, sign, etc. that shows sth.(暗示某事物的)言語,姿勢,標記
confirm
vt. 1. prove (a report, an opinion, etc.) true or correct 證實,證明,確定
2. make (a plan or meeting) certain, often by telephone or writing (通過電話、書信)確定,確認(安排、會議)
suspect
vt. 1. have an idea of the existence or truth of (sth.); believe 猜想,疑有;覺得
2. feel doubt about (sth.); mistrust 懷疑;不信任
n. [C] a person suspected of a crime, etc. 嫌疑犯
a. not to be trusted; possibly false 靠不住的,不可信的,可疑的
harsh
a. 1. cruel; severe 嚴厲的,殘酷的,苛刻的
2. unpleasantly rough or sharp, esp. to the senses 刺耳(眼)的
hesitate
v. 1. be slow to speak or act because one feels uncertain or unwilling; pause in doubt 猶豫, 躊躇, 遲疑
2. be reluctant 不愿,勉強
cancel
vt. 1. say that (sth. already planned and decided upon) will not be done or take place 取消
2. cross out (sth. written) 刪去
proceed
vi. 1. go to a further or the next stage; go on 著手;繼續(xù)進行
2. make one's way; go 前進,行進
quote
v. repeat the words that sb. else has said or written 引用,引述,援引
n. [C] a group of words taken from a book, play, speech, etc. and used again, usually by sb. other than the writer 引語
hardship
n. 1. [C] conditions causing severe suffering 艱難情況,困境
2. [U] severe suffering and discomfort 苦難,困苦,貧困
■racist
n. person who believes that other races are not as good as his/her own and, therefore, treats them unfairly 種族主義者,種族主義分子
realistic
a. 1. based on facts rather than on feelings or illusion; practical 實際的(根據(jù)事實而不根據(jù)感情和幻想);務實的
2. appearing to be existing or happening in fact 逼真的,像實際存在或發(fā)生的
resolve
vt. 1. end (a problem or difficulty) 解決,解除
2. decide; determine 決定,決心
PHRASES AND EXPRESSIONS
ups and downs
the changing of good and bad luck 好運和壞運的交替;盛衰;浮沉
work out
develop in a certain way; turn out 按某種方式發(fā)展;結果為
for a time
for a short period 暫時,一度
meet with
encounter sth.; experience sth. 遭遇,受到;經(jīng)歷
all along
all the time; from the beginning 始終;從開始一直
have nothing to do with
have no connection with; avoid 與……無關;不跟……往來
on the surface
when not observed, thought about, etc. deeply 表面上, 外表上, 從表面上看
at one's worst
showing the most unpleasant side of sb. 最差的一面
learn of
become aware of (sth.) through information or observation; realize 獲悉,聽說;認識到
take care of
be responsible for; deal with 負責;處理
PROPER NAMES
Gail
蓋爾
Deborah
德博拉
跨國婚姻
我和蓋爾計劃舉行一個不事張揚的婚禮。 在一起相處的兩年中,我們經(jīng)歷了一對情侶在學著相互了解、理解和尊重時常常出現(xiàn)的磕磕碰碰。 但在這整整兩年間,我們坦誠地面對了彼此性格中的弱點和長處。
我們之間的種族及文化差異不但增強了我們的關系,還教會了我們彼此間要寬容、諒解和開誠布公。 蓋爾有時不明白為何我和其他黑人如此熱衷于種族問題,她好像忘記了美國社會中種族仇恨更加微妙的表現(xiàn)形式,這一點令我感到驚訝。
作為一對居住在美國、異族通婚的夫妻,我和蓋爾對未來不抱絲毫幻想。 相互信任和尊重是我們倆永不枯竭的力量源泉。
許多夫妻因為錯誤的理由結了婚, 結果在10年、20年或30年后才發(fā)覺他們原來是合不來的, 他們在婚前幾乎沒有化時間去了解彼此,他們忽視了嚴重的性格差異,指望婚姻會自然而然地解決各種問題。我們希望避免重蹈復轍。 下列事實強調(diào)了這樣一點:已經(jīng)結婚35年的蓋爾父母正經(jīng)歷著一場充滿怨恨、令人痛苦的婚變,這件事給了蓋爾以毀滅性的打擊, 并一度給我們正處于萌芽狀態(tài)的關系帶來了負面的影響。
當蓋爾把我們計劃舉辦婚禮的消息告訴她家人時,她遇到了一些阻力。 她的母親德博拉過去一直贊成我們的關系,甚至還開過玩笑,問我們打算何時結婚,這樣她就可以抱外孫了。 但這次聽到我們的消息時,她沒向我們表示祝賀,相反卻勸蓋爾想想清楚自己的決定是否正確。
"這么說我跟他約會沒錯, 但是如果我跟他結婚,就錯了。 媽媽,是不是因為他的膚色?" 蓋爾后來告訴我她曾這樣問她母親。
"首先我必須承認, 剛開始時我對異族通婚是有保留的,也許你甚至可以把這稱為偏見。 但是當我見到馬克時,我發(fā)現(xiàn)他是一個既討人喜歡又聰明的年輕人。 任何一個母親都會因為有這樣一個女婿而感到臉上有光的。 所以,這事跟膚色沒有關系。是的, 我的朋友們會有閑話。 有些朋友甚至對你所做的事表示震驚。但他們是生活在一個和我們不同的世界里的人。 因此要明白,馬克的膚色不是個問題。我最大的擔心的是你也許跟我當初嫁給你爸爸一樣,是因為錯誤的原因而嫁給馬克的。 當年我和你爸爸相遇時,我也把他看作是個可愛、 聰明、討人喜歡和善解人意的人。 一切都是多么新鮮、多么令人興奮。而且我們倆人都認為-至少在表面上是如此- 我們的婚姻是理想婚姻,而且一切跡象都表明是會天長地久的。 直到后來我才明白,在我們結婚時,我并不十分理解我所愛的人 -你的爸爸。"
"但是我和馬克呆在一起已有2年多了," 蓋爾抱怨道。 "我們倆一起經(jīng)歷了許許多多的事情。我們彼此已很多次看到對方最糟糕的一面。 我可以肯定時間只會證明我們是彼此深情相愛的。"
"你也許是對的。但我還是認為再等一段時間有好處。你今年才25歲。"
蓋爾的父親戴維-我還未見過他的面-以知女莫若父的態(tài)度來對付我們的決定。 他問的問題基本上和蓋爾母親的問題相同: "干嗎這么匆忙?這個馬克是什么人?他是什么公民身份?" 當他得知我在公民身份部門遇到的問題時, 就懷疑我是因為想留在美國而娶他的女兒的。
"不過爸爸,你這話講得太難聽了," 蓋爾說。
"那么干嗎要這樣著急?拖一段時間再說,拖一段時間再說," 他重復說著。
"馬克以前是有過公民身份方面的問題,但他總是在自己處理這些問題," 蓋爾辯解道。" 事實上,當我們在討論結婚的時候,他清楚地表明了這樣一點:如果我對任何事情有懷疑, 我完全可以取消我們的計劃。"
她的父親開始引用統(tǒng)計數(shù)據(jù)說明異族通婚的夫妻離婚率比同族結婚的夫妻要高,而且還列舉了接受過他咨詢的、在婚姻上有麻煩的異族通婚夫婦的例子。
他問道:"你考慮過你以后的孩子可能會遭受的苦難嗎?"
"爸,你是個種族主義分子嗎?"
"不,當然不是。但你必須得現(xiàn)實一點。"
"也許我們的孩子會遇到一些問題。但誰的孩子不會呢? 但是有一樣東西他們將會永遠擁有:我們的愛和奉獻。"
"那是一種理想主義的想法。人們對異族通婚生下的孩子是會很殘酷的。"
"爸爸,到時候,我們自己會操心的。 但是假如我們在做什么事之前,必須把所有的疑難問題全部解決的話,那么我們幾乎就什么都干不成了。"
"請記住,回心轉意是永遠不會太遲的。"