Section B
Body Language
"I liked him the minute I saw him!" "Before she even said a word, I knew there was something funny about her." Such statements are examples of "snap judgments", opinions which are formed suddenly, seemingly on no sound reason at all. Most people say snap judgments are unsound or even dangerous. They also admit they often make snap judgments and find them to be fairly sound.
Snap judgments like "love at first sight" or "instant hate", if taken seriously, have usually been considered signs of immaturity or lack of common sense. When someone "has a feeling" about someone else, people more often laugh than pay attention. Most people think you find out about a person by listening to what he says over a period of time. Others say "actions speak louder than words," usually in relation to keeping promises, paying bills or sending money home.
Because people assume "you are what you say you are", they talk a lot to become acquainted with each other. Once two people have become acquainted, they think it was their conversation that gave them their information about each other.
As behavioral sciences develop, however, researchers find the importance of speech has been overestimated. Although speech is the most obvious form of communication, we do use other forms of which we may be only partially aware or, in some cases, completely unaware. It is possible we are unconsciously sending messages with every action, messages which are unconsciously picked up by others and used in forming opinions. These unconscious actions and reactions to them may in part account for our "feelings" and "snap judgments".
We communicate a great deal, researchers have found, with our bodies — by the way we move, sit, stand and what we do with our hands and heads. Imagine a few people sitting in a waiting room: one is tapping his fingers on his briefcase, another keeps rubbing his hands together, another is biting his fingernails, still another grabs the arms of his chair tightly and one keeps running his fingers through his hair. These people aren't talking but they're "saying" a lot if you know the "body language" they're using.
Two of the most "telling" forms of behavior are driving a car and playing games. Notice a person's reaction to stress in these situations and to aggressive behavior in others. Those who easily become angry, excited, passive or resentful when driving or playing may be giving insights into the inside self.
While clothing serves a purely practical function, how you dress also communicates many things about your social status, state of mind and even your aspirations and dreams. The eleven-year-old girl who dresses like a college student and the forty-year-old woman who dresses like a teenager are saying something through what they wear. What you communicate through your kind of dress definitely influences others to accept the picture of yourself you are projecting: in the business world, the person who dresses like a successful manager is most likely to be promoted into a managing position.
Also important are the ornaments a person wears: buttons, medals, jewels, etc. Such ornaments are often the means by which a person announces a variety of things about himself: his convictions (campaign buttons), his beliefs (religious tokens), his membership in certain groups (club pins or badges), his past achievements (college ring or Phi Beta Kappa key) and his economic status (diamonds).
Another sign of a person's nature is said to be found in his choices in architecture and furniture. A person who would really like to live in a castle would probably be more at home in the Middle Ages. Those who like Victorian family houses and furniture might secretly welcome a return to more rigid social norms. People who are content with modern design are probably comfortable with modern life-styles.
When you see a person for the first time, even though he doesn't speak to you, you begin watching him — his actions, his attitude, his clothing and many other things. There's a wealth of information there if you know how to "read" it. Perhaps snap judgments aren't so unsound after all.
words:688
NEW WORDS
statement
n. something that one says or writes, often officially 說話,敘述,聲明
snap
a. done quickly and suddenly, often without careful thought 迅速的,突然的
judgment(英judgement)
n. 1. an opinion 看法,意見
2. the ability to form common sense opinions or to make wise decisions 判斷力,識別力
▲seemingly
ad. in a way it appears; as if 從表面上看起來;似乎是
instant
a. immediate; happening suddenly or at once 立即的,即刻的;瞬間發(fā)生的
action
n. something one does 行為
assume
vt. accept or believe that sth. is true even though one has no evidence 假定;想當(dāng)然認為,臆斷
▲acquaint
vt. make someone or oneself familiar with or aware of 使認識,使了解
behavior (behaviour)
n. the way one acts or behaves 行為,舉止
behavioral (behavioural)
a. concerning the behavior of an animal or a person, or the study of their behavior (關(guān)于)行為的;行為科學(xué)的
estimate
vt. figure out; judge 估計;判斷
overestimate
v. think sth. is bigger or more important, etc. than it really is 過高估計,過高評價
obvious
a. easily seen or understood; clear 顯然的,明顯的
partial
a. not complete 部分的,不完全的
partially
ad. partly; not completely 部分地,不完全地
account
v. (for) explain or give a reason for 作出解釋,提出理由,說明
n. 1. a report or description of sth. that has happened 記述,描述,報告
2. the plan by which a bank looks after your money for you 賬戶;交易關(guān)系
rub
vt. move one thing against another 擦,摩擦
aggressive
a. 1. using or showing force or stress in order to succeed 活躍有為的,積極進取的
2. ready or likely to fight or argue 挑釁的,侵略的
passive
a. not active; not showing any feelings or action 被動的;消極的
▲resent
v. feel angry about sth. because it is unfair (尤指因感到委屈、傷害等)對……表示忿恨,對……怨恨
resentful
a. feeling annoyed 充滿忿恨的,怨恨不止的
function
n. the purpose or special duty of a person or thing 功能,作用,機能
social
a. 1. concerning the position of people in society 一定社會地位的
2. concerning how people or groups of people connect; about the order of society 社會的
status
n. one's social or work position when compared to other people 地位,身份
▲aspiration
n. (often pl.) a strong desire to have or do sth. (常用復(fù)數(shù))強烈的愿望,志向
project
vt. 1. show or present (oneself or one's qualities) in a certain way 表明……特征,使呈現(xiàn)特性
2. plan 打算,計劃
n. 1. a plan or secret plan 計劃,規(guī)劃
2. a piece of study or research (學(xué)術(shù)交流的)課題,作業(yè),科研項目
promote
vt. 1. raise someone to a higher level or position 提升,晉升
2. encourage; help the progress of sth. 促進,增進
▲ornament
n. something added to make something else look better 裝飾品,點綴品
medal
n. 獎牌,獎?wù)拢瑒渍?br />
jewel
n. 寶石,寶石飾物;首飾
conviction
n. a very strong opinion or belief 堅定的信仰;確信
campaign
n. a plan to do a number of things in order to achieve a special aim 運動
belief
n. 1. an idea about faith, political ideas, etc. 信念,信仰
2. a feeling that sb. or sth. is true, good or right, or that sb. or sth. really exists 相信,信任
religious
a. 1. connected with faith 宗教的,宗教上的
2. having a strong belief in a faith 篤信宗教的,虔誠的
▲token
n. something that stands for or is a sign of something else 標志,象征
membership
n. the state of being a member 會員身份,會員資格
▲badge
n. 徽章,證章;標記,標識
achievement
n. something that is done successfully, esp. through hard work or skill 成就,成績
economic
a. connected with the supply of money, trade, industry, etc. 經(jīng)濟的,經(jīng)濟上的
architecture
n. the style or kind of building 建筑式樣,建筑風(fēng)格
rigid
a. strict 嚴格的,死板的
▲norm
n. what people normally do or follow 準則
style
n. the way that sth. is done, built, etc. 樣式,風(fēng)格
life-style
n. the way one lives 生活方式
PHRASES AND EXPRESSIONS
lack of
not having enough of 缺乏,不足
find out
discover 找出,查明,發(fā)現(xiàn)
actions speak louder than words
one is judged by what he does, rather than what he says he will do 行動比言語更響亮;事實勝于雄辯
in relation to
concerning 有關(guān),關(guān)于
become/be acquainted with
become/be familiar or friendly with 與……相識,了解
pick up
1. learn interesting or useful information 獲得
2. learn a new skill or language by practicing it rather than being taught it 學(xué)會
in part
to some degree; not completely 在某種程度上;部分
account for
explain or give a reason for 作出解釋,提出理由,說明
be/feel at home
be/feel comfortable 感到無拘束,感到熟悉
be content with
be satisfied or happy with 對……感到滿足
a wealth of
a great quantity of 大量的,豐富的
PROPER NAMES
Phi Beta Kappa
PBK聯(lián)誼會(美國大學(xué)優(yōu)秀生和畢業(yè)生的榮譽組織,成立于1776年);PBK聯(lián)誼會會員
Victorian
connected with the time of Queen Victoria (1837-1901) (英國)維多利亞(女王)的,維多利亞時代的,維多利亞式的
形體語言
“我一眼見他就喜歡上了他!” “她甚至還沒有開口說一個字,我就知道她很有趣。” 此類敘述就是“快速判斷”的例子,也就是迅速形成表面看來根本沒有充分理由的判斷。 多數(shù)人說這種快速判斷是不可靠的,甚至是危險的。 但他們也承認他們常常會作出快速判斷,并且發(fā)現(xiàn)這些判斷是相當(dāng)合理的。
像“一見鐘情”或“瞬間成恨”這樣的快速判斷,如果被過于當(dāng)真,通常就會被看成是不成熟或缺乏判斷力的表現(xiàn)。 當(dāng)一個人對另一個人“有某種感覺”時,人們更多的是付之一笑,而不會太在意。 多數(shù)人認為認識一個人是通過在一段時間里傾聽這個人說的話。 還有一些人說"行動勝于言辭",這通常與信守諾言、付賬,以及寄錢回家等行為相關(guān)。
由于人們以為“對你的了解是通過你對你自己的介紹”,因此他們就通過大量的交談以結(jié)識對方。 一旦兩個人認識了,他們就會認為是他們之間的談話給了他們有關(guān)對方的信息。
然而,隨著行為科學(xué)的發(fā)展,研究者發(fā)現(xiàn)語言的重要性被高估了。 盡管語言是最顯而易見的交際形式,但我們確實在使用其他一些交際形式,對于這些形式,我們也許只是部分地意識到了,而在有些情況下我們甚至完全沒有意識到。 我們有可能無意識地用我們的行為發(fā)出信息,這些信息又會被別人無意識地接收到,并藉以形成判斷。 這些無意識的行為以及對它們產(chǎn)生的反應(yīng)也許可以在某種程度上解釋我們的“感覺”和“快速判斷”的原因。
研究者發(fā)現(xiàn),我們用形體進行著大量的交流 -- 通過我們移動、坐和站的方式,以及我們的手和頭的動作。 想象一下幾個坐在一間等候室里的人:一個在用手指輕輕敲打公文包,一個在不停地揉搓雙手,另一個在咬自己的手指甲,還有一個用手緊抓著椅子的扶手,又一個在不斷地用手指梳理著頭發(fā)。 這些人都沒有說話,但是如果你知道他們所使用的"形體語言",他們實際上“說”了很多。
最“有說服力”的兩種行為方式是開車和做游戲。 請注意一個人在這類情況下遇到壓力時的反應(yīng),以及他/她在其他情況下遇到挑釁性行為時的反應(yīng)。 那些在開車和玩游戲時容易變得氣憤、興奮、消極或是憤恨的人也許會使人洞察到他們內(nèi)心的那個自我。
盡管衣服純粹服務(wù)于一種實用目的,但你的著裝方式也會傳遞很多東西,如你的社會地位、思想狀況,甚至你的渴望和夢想。 一個十一歲的小姑娘穿得像個大學(xué)生,或是一個四十歲的女人穿得像個十幾歲的少女,他們都在通過自己的穿著表達著什么。 你通過自己的服裝所傳達的信息肯定會影響到其他人,使他們認可你正在傳遞的自己的形象:在商界,一個穿著就像個成功經(jīng)理的人是很有可能被提升到經(jīng)理職位上來的。
同樣重要的還有一個人佩戴的飾物:徽章、獎?wù)?、珠寶等?這些飾物常常是一個人顯示其各種情況的手段:他的信念(競選運動徽章)、他的信仰(宗教標志)、他作為某一特定組織成員的身份(俱樂部飾針或徽章)、他昔日的成就(大學(xué)畢業(yè)紀念指環(huán)或PBK聯(lián)誼會鑰匙),以及他的經(jīng)濟地位(鉆石)。
表現(xiàn)人本性的另一種標記據(jù)說存在于其對房屋建筑風(fēng)格和家具式樣的選擇之中。 一個確實愿意住在城堡里的人,如果生活在中世紀可能會更自在。 那些喜歡維多利亞式家庭住宅和家具的人也許在心底里愿意恢復(fù)更為嚴格的社會規(guī)范。 對現(xiàn)代設(shè)計感到滿意的人,現(xiàn)代的生活方式可能會使他們心滿意足。
在你初次見到一個人的時候,即使他不跟你說話,你也開始觀察他了:他的行動、態(tài)度、衣著,以及其他許多情況。 如果你知道如何“解讀”它,就會發(fā)現(xiàn)其中包含了豐富的信息。說到底,也許快速判斷并非那么不合理。