雙語(yǔ)笑話：愛(ài)爾蘭銀行搶劫案

Irish Bank Robbery

Excerpted from an article about a bank robbery which appeared in the Dublin Times （metropolitan edition，page 2A） on 2 March 1999:

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight，their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately. The robbers，who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables，were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe’s combination，and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank’s audiotape system，one said，“At least we’ll get a bit to eat.”

The robbers opened up a second safe，and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.

They found not one pound sterling，a diamond，or an ounce of gold. Instead，all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed，the robbers made a quiet exit，each leaving with nothing more than a queasy，uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read :

IRELAND’S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

愛(ài)爾蘭銀行搶劫案

節(jié)選自1999年3月2號(hào)《都柏林時(shí)報(bào)》（都市版，第二頁(yè)）關(guān)于一篇銀行搶劫案的報(bào)道：

剛過(guò)午夜，強(qiáng)盜們立即動(dòng)手破壞了銀行內(nèi)部的安保系統(tǒng)。他們希望能找到一兩只裝著現(xiàn)金或珠寶的大保險(xiǎn)柜。結(jié)果令他們驚奇的是，銀行里面到處都是一些小的保險(xiǎn)柜，共有幾百只。

強(qiáng)盜們撬開(kāi)了第一只保險(xiǎn)柜的密碼鎖，發(fā)現(xiàn)里面只有一盤(pán)香草布丁。根據(jù)銀行監(jiān)聽(tīng)系統(tǒng)的錄音，一個(gè)強(qiáng)盜說(shuō)：“我們至少得吃一點(diǎn)?！?

強(qiáng)盜們打開(kāi)了第二個(gè)保險(xiǎn)柜，里面同樣只有香草布丁。就這樣他們打開(kāi)了所有的保險(xiǎn)柜。

他們沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)一鎊鈔票、一份珠寶、或者一盎司黃金。每一個(gè)保險(xiǎn)柜里都裝著一盤(pán)蓋著的布丁。

強(qiáng)盜們感到非常失望，一聲不響地離開(kāi)了。每一個(gè)人走的時(shí)候除了胃被撐得直犯惡心外，一無(wú)所獲。

報(bào)紙的標(biāo)題為：愛(ài)爾蘭最大的精子銀行今天凌晨遭搶劫。