第一次約會(huì)：11個(gè)小細(xì)節(jié)助你成功把妹

It doesn’t matter where or how you got one, first dates are awesome. And terrifying。不論你在哪兒及怎樣約會(huì)，初次約會(huì)感覺(jué)很棒。還有些嚇人。

Whether you’re meeting up with your hairdresser’s cousin’s single friend, or you’ve decided to choose an unusual date on HowAboutWe, there are more ‘first world problems’ in the world of dating now than ever. On your first date, they can be deal-breakers, so check out these 11 first date tips for modern love lives。不管你是要去見(jiàn)你理發(fā)師的堂兄弟的單身朋友，還是你決定在約會(huì)交友網(wǎng)站HowAboutWe上選擇一位不尋常的對(duì)象，如今約會(huì)是到的“重大” 問(wèn)題比起以往要來(lái)得多。它們可能會(huì)成為初次約會(huì)的“不速之客”，因此看看這11條關(guān)于現(xiàn)代愛(ài)情生活的初次約會(huì)的建議吧。

1. Know when it’s a date (and when it isn’t)分清什么時(shí)候是在約會(huì)(什么時(shí)候不是約會(huì))

There are no hard rules any more when it comes to what counts as a date. You could go for nachos

with several friends and still make that your first date if you both want to. Or you could meet one-on-one, have dinner, sleep together, and call it “friends with benefits”. That being so, your safest bet is to be clear by calling it a date when you agree where and when to meet up。關(guān)于怎么界定什么是約會(huì)已經(jīng)沒(méi)有很嚴(yán)格的規(guī)則了。你可以約幾個(gè)朋友一起去吃烤干酪辣味玉米片，如果你們倆都愿意的話，這同樣可以當(dāng)成你們的初次約會(huì)。你也可以一對(duì)一見(jiàn)面、吃飯、睡覺(jué)，稱之為“炮友”。也就是說(shuō)，最穩(wěn)妥的做法是，你要清楚你們?nèi)绾谓缍ㄔ谀睦锛霸谑裁磿r(shí)候見(jiàn)面算約會(huì)。

2. Talk, don’t text交談，不要發(fā)短信

Asking someone on a date by text or IM might seem like a great way to dodge confidence issues, but it loses a lot of your message. Instead, make the arrangements the old-fashioned way by phone or in person so that you can hear each other’s voices. And if you’re invited on a date via SMS, text back, “Sounds good. Give me a call when you’re free to talk about it!”通過(guò)短信或IM(即時(shí)通訊軟件)約會(huì)似乎是一種規(guī)避信心不足的非常好的方法，但它會(huì)丟失了很多信息。用傳統(tǒng)的方式安排約會(huì)，那就是打電話，或面對(duì)面說(shuō)，這樣你可以聽(tīng)到彼此的聲音。如果別人發(fā)短信邀約你，你就回復(fù)：“聽(tīng)起來(lái)不錯(cuò)。如果你方便溝通的話，給我打個(gè)電話。”

3. Don’t do dinner不要選擇吃飯時(shí)間

Dinner takes a while and if you’re desperate to escape after the first drink, you’ll wish you’d arranged a shorter date! Go for a lunch date instead, or choose a non-food situation like a walk in the park. That way you can leave early if you want, or make it last all afternoon if you’re having fun。吃晚餐很花時(shí)間，如果在喝完第一杯酒以后你非常想離開(kāi)，你會(huì)希望你安排了一次簡(jiǎn)短的約會(huì)?？梢赃x擇吃頓午飯，或是不要選擇吃飯的時(shí)段，比如在公園里散個(gè)步。這樣的話，如果你想早點(diǎn)結(jié)束約會(huì)，就可以早點(diǎn)走啦;或是你覺(jué)得很有趣，可以讓它持續(xù)一整個(gè)下午。

4. Agree a connectivity policy協(xié)商一致

Do you hate it when people answer phone calls during a date? Or are you too busy tweeting to notice? Agree with your date from the start about what’s OK and what’s rude so that you won’t get annoyed with each other’s mobile interruptions。約會(huì)時(shí)對(duì)方還在接電話，你是不是不喜歡?或是你自己忙著發(fā)微博?從一開(kāi)始和約會(huì)對(duì)象商定哪些是允許的，哪些是不禮貌的舉動(dòng)，這樣當(dāng)對(duì)方手機(jī)響起打擾你們談話時(shí)，你就用不著生氣了。

5. Smell nice清新的氣味

Smell is one of the most complex human senses; it triggers emotions, memories, and physical feelings. If you smell nice to your date, they’ll find you more attractive; if you smell nice to yourself, you’ll feel more confident and attractive, too. Scents that most people (male or female) like include fruits, vanilla, and clean human skin。嗅覺(jué)是人類最復(fù)雜的感官之一;它會(huì)激發(fā)情感、記憶、和身體的感受。如果氣味不令人討厭，你就更有吸引力;如果你自己覺(jué)得氣味不錯(cuò)，你會(huì)更有自信和更有吸引力。大多數(shù)人(包括男性和女性)喜歡的氣味包括水果味、香草味和清潔的體味。

6. Ask them to do you a favour請(qǐng)他們幫你一個(gè)忙

It may sound backwards, but it’s true. Research shows that asking somebody to do you a personal favour tends to make them like you more, so ask for something small like their help to choose a gift for a friend. Then thank them plenty and show your gratitude by inviting them on a second date!聽(tīng)起來(lái)可能會(huì)不理解，但這是真的。研究表明，請(qǐng)別人幫你一個(gè)忙通常會(huì)讓他們更加喜歡你，所以請(qǐng)他們幫個(gè)小忙，比如說(shuō)在為朋友選禮物上給個(gè)建議。然后深情地謝謝他們，再次邀約他們以表達(dá)你的謝意。

7. Pick up your own tab為自己那一份買單

It’s so much less complicated than negotiating any other payment arrangement with someone you barely know. And because it’s fair, neither of you will feel owed or owing。比起和你幾乎不了解的人商量如何結(jié)賬，各付各的就沒(méi)那么復(fù)雜了。因?yàn)檫@是公平的，所以你們雙方不會(huì)覺(jué)得誰(shuí)欠誰(shuí)。

8. No humblebragging不要過(guò)分謙虛

Yes, it’s impressive that you compete in triathlons/run your own business/know that DJ. It’s so impressive that pretending to be humble or embarrassed when you’re actually pretty damn proud is just silly. Brag openly and briefly, as in, “Yeah, I do triathlons. I won the Example Triathlon last year,” then get back to whatever you were talking about before that。是的，你參加三項(xiàng)全能運(yùn)動(dòng)/有自己的生意/認(rèn)為那個(gè)DJ，這些會(huì)令人對(duì)你刮目相看。這些如此令人刮目相看，對(duì)那些你其實(shí)引以為傲的事情假裝謙卑或難為情，這是很蠢的做法。大方而且簡(jiǎn)要地夸耀自己，比如說(shuō)“是的，我參加了三項(xiàng)全能運(yùn)動(dòng)。我去年獲得了鐵人三項(xiàng)參與獎(jiǎng)。”然后回到你之前談?wù)摰脑掝}上。

9. Eat mint吃點(diǎn)薄荷糖

Do this not just to make sure your breath smells OK, but also because it perks you up. Mint helps you feel fresh, alert and ready for conversation. Plus, eating something minty prevents your mouth getting too dry if you’re nervous。這樣做不只是保證口氣清新，而且它還能讓你振奮。薄荷讓你感覺(jué)清新，為談話做好準(zhǔn)備。此外，吃些帶薄荷味的東西，當(dāng)你緊張時(shí)能避免嘴唇發(fā)干。

10. Be prepared做好準(zhǔn)備

No matter who you are, there’s always a possibility that your first date could lead to sex, perhaps sooner than you thought. Be prepared with protection against pregnancy and STIs, of course, but it’s also important to prepare for the hormonal rush you’ll feel if there’s strong sexual chemistry between you and your date. Those hormones affect your judgement, so don’t take any unnecessary risks like driving too fast or drinking too much alcohol。不管你是誰(shuí)，在初次約會(huì)時(shí)和對(duì)方發(fā)生性關(guān)系都是有可能的，也許來(lái)得比你想的還要早。準(zhǔn)備好避孕措施及預(yù)防性傳播感染，當(dāng)然，同樣重要的是在你和你的約會(huì)對(duì)象之間產(chǎn)生強(qiáng)烈的性吸引力時(shí)，做好各種準(zhǔn)備。這些激素會(huì)影響你的判斷力，所以不要冒任何風(fēng)險(xiǎn)，比如開(kāi)快車，或是酗酒。

11. Smile!微笑

A genuine smile makes everyone look more attractive, without exception, so give your date a big smile when you see them. Because smiling triggers your nervous system to release serotonin, it improves your mood at the same time to help you enjoy the date。無(wú)一例外，真誠(chéng)的微笑讓人看起來(lái)更有吸引力，所以去約會(huì)時(shí)，看到他們就給他們一個(gè)燦爛的微笑。因?yàn)槲⑿?huì)觸發(fā)神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)釋放血清素，它在改善情緒的同時(shí)幫助你享受約會(huì)的快樂(lè)。

Don’t worry about minor mishaps on a first date. The less you fret about it, the more relaxed and confident you’ll feel. Keep these first date tips in mind to boost your date from average to awesome, and remember: this isn’t a job interview. It’s supposed to be fun!不要擔(dān)心初次約會(huì)時(shí)發(fā)生的小意外。擔(dān)憂越少，你就越輕松、越自信。記住這些初次約會(huì)時(shí)的小建議，把你的約會(huì)從平庸提升到美妙，記?。哼@不是求職面試，初次約會(huì)就應(yīng)該很好玩才對(duì)!