《四季隨筆》節(jié)選 - 春 07

《四季隨筆》是吉辛的散文代表作。其中對(duì)隱士賴克羅夫特醉心于書籍、自然景色與回憶過去生活的描述，其實(shí)是吉辛的自述，作者以此來抒發(fā)自己的情感，因而本書是一部富有自傳色彩的小品文集。

吉辛窮困的一生，對(duì)文學(xué)名著的愛好與追求，以及對(duì)大自然恬靜生活的向往，在書中均有充分的反映。本書分為春、夏、秋、冬四個(gè)部分，文筆優(yōu)美，行文流暢，是英國(guó)文學(xué)中小品文的珍品之一。

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Homo animal querulum cupide suis incumbens miseriis. I wonder where that comes from. I found it once in Charron2, quoted without reference, and it has often been in my mind—a dreary truth, well worded. At least, it was a truth for me during many a long year. Life, I fancy, would very often be insupportable, but for the luxury of self compassion; in cases numberless, this it must be that saves from suicide. For some there is great relief in talking about their miseries, but such gossips lack the profound solace of misery nursed in silent brooding. Happily, the trick with me has never been retrospective; indeed, it was never, even with regard to instant suffering, a habit so deeply rooted as to become a mastering vice. I knew my own weakness when I yielded to it; I despised myself when it brought me comfort; I could laugh scornfully, even "cupide meis incumbens miseriis." And now, thanks be to the unknown power which rules us, my past has buried its dead. More than that; I can accept with sober cheerfulness the necessity of all I lived through. So it was to be; so it was. For this did Nature shape me; with what purpose, I shall never know; but, in the sequence of things eternal, this was my place.

“人是愛抱怨的動(dòng)物，總愛想著自己的煩惱，”不知道這句話出自何處。我曾在沙朗的著作中看見過，但出處沒有標(biāo)明，從此它便縈繞在我的腦海—道出一個(gè)令人不快的事實(shí)，措詞精當(dāng)。至少，很多年里，它對(duì)我都是一個(gè)事實(shí)。如果沒有對(duì)自我的同情，我想生活常常會(huì)難以承受，它也一定讓許多人打消了自殺的念頭。對(duì)一些人來說，談?wù)撟约旱耐纯嗍呛艽蟮慕饷?，但這種閑聊缺少在冥思中才能獲得的深沉慰藉?？上驳氖?，回顧既往從來不是我的癖好。事實(shí)上，即便對(duì)于眼下的痛苦，回顧也絕不是我根深蒂固的習(xí)慣，以至于變成主宰我的一大惡習(xí)。當(dāng)我沉湎于這種回顧時(shí)，我知道自身有弱點(diǎn)；而當(dāng)這種回顧給我?guī)戆参繒r(shí)，我會(huì)鄙視自己，甚至連“于逆流之來，處之泰然”，我都可以輕蔑地嘲笑。感謝掌控我們的未知力量，我已經(jīng)埋葬自己的過去。更重要的是，我現(xiàn)在可以清醒愉快地接受過去一切經(jīng)歷的必要性了。注定要發(fā)生的已經(jīng)發(fā)生?！白匀弧睘檫@些而塑造了我，至于有何目的，我永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)知道。但是在永恒事物的秩序中，這是我的位置。

Could I have achieved so much philosophy if, as I ever feared, the closing years of my life had passed in helpless indigence? Should I not have sunk into lowest depths of querulous self-pity, groveling there with eyes obstinately averted from the light above?

如果像我一直恐懼的那樣，晚年在無助的貧窮中度過，我還能悟出這許多人生哲學(xué)來嗎？我難道不會(huì)陷入牢騷滿腹的自哀自憐中不能自拔，匍匐爬行，眼睛固執(zhí)地躲避著陽光嗎？