9個(gè)小貼士讓你的婚姻長(zhǎng)久健康
9個(gè)小貼士讓你的婚姻長(zhǎng)久健康
Living and sticking with a person for life is not easy. So what is the secret to keeping your happiness as a married couple?
和一個(gè)人一起生活并堅(jiān)持一生是不容易的。那么，保持婚姻幸福的秘訣是什么呢?
Doctor, psychologist and marriage counselor Marie Hartwell-Walker from the US shared that couples who live together for a long time all talk about the following topics (in order of preference). In particular, they always talk with respect for each other and are committed to facing challenges and changing together.
來自美國(guó)的醫(yī)生、心理學(xué)家和婚姻顧問瑪麗·哈特韋爾-沃克說，住在一起很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的夫妻都會(huì)談?wù)撘韵略掝}(按喜好排序)。特別是雙方始終相互尊重，致力于共同面對(duì)挑戰(zhàn)，共同改變。
1. The role of each person
每個(gè)人的角色
Happy couples find roles that make them comfortable. Some prefer the traditional family model, one being the housewife, looking after children, the other provides financial support. A few other couples will be horrified by that idea and create a more equal style. Whatever, as long as both sides agree and feel comfortable.
幸福的夫妻會(huì)找到讓他們感到舒適的角色。有些人喜歡傳統(tǒng)的家庭模式，一個(gè)是家庭主婦，照顧孩子，另一個(gè)提供經(jīng)濟(jì)支持。其他一些夫婦會(huì)被這種想法嚇壞，從而創(chuàng)造出一種更平等的風(fēng)格。無論如何，只要雙方同意并感到舒服就行。
2. How to make a decision
如何做決定
The method of discussing and making decisions together, who is the main decision maker in situations, situations that need to be carefully considered... are issues that need clarification to make marriage easier.
討論一起做決定的方法，在需要仔細(xì)考慮的情況下，誰是主要的決策者…這是需要澄清的問題，使婚姻更容易。
3. Sex frequency and style
性生活頻率和風(fēng)格
Some happy couples with little sex. Some agree that having sex every morning is a great start. Together they share satisfaction and decide the right way for both..
一些快樂的夫妻很少做愛。有些人同意每天早上做愛是一個(gè)很好的開始。他們一起分享滿足感，為雙方?jīng)Q定正確的方式。
4. Fidelity
忠誠(chéng)
For some people, having sex with anyone other than their spouses is taboo. For some people, the partner may have sex with a third person, but don't let them know it.Regardless, couples need to share their views and understand the importance of this inviolable agreement. When the deal is broken, the relationship will be in danger.
對(duì)一些人來說，與配偶以外的人發(fā)生性關(guān)系是禁忌。對(duì)有些人來說，伴侶可能與第三人發(fā)生性關(guān)系，但不要讓他們知道。無論如何，夫妻需要分享他們的觀點(diǎn)，理解這個(gè)不可侵犯的協(xié)議的重要性。一旦交易破裂，你們的關(guān)系就會(huì)陷入危險(xiǎn)。
5. Money
錢
Besides fidelity, all couples agree that a lack of knowledge about how to make money, spend and save will be a serious threat to marriage. Perennial couples know their finances right from the beginning to share a house.
除了忠貞，所有的夫妻都認(rèn)為缺乏賺錢、消費(fèi)和儲(chǔ)蓄的知識(shí)將是對(duì)婚姻的嚴(yán)重威脅。常年夫妻在合租一套房子的時(shí)候就知道自己的財(cái)務(wù)狀況。
6. Religion, politics, race and culture
宗教，政治，種族和文化
Couples come from different backgrounds (religion, race, nationality, political views...), when talking about these issues need to be alert and respectful. Thus, the difference does not create conflict, it will enrich the interesting conversation topic.
夫妻來自不同的背景(宗教、種族、國(guó)籍、政治觀點(diǎn)……)，在談?wù)撨@些問題時(shí)要保持警惕和尊重。因此，差異不會(huì)產(chǎn)生沖突，反而會(huì)豐富有趣的談話話題。
7. Relationship with other family members
與其他家庭成員的關(guān)系
Couples need to be clear about the extent of the influence of the older generation as well as the agreement on their obligations to the extended family. Some welcome elderly parents or other relatives to live with. Some meet others on a weekly basis or on new occasions to visit family...
夫妻需要清楚地了解長(zhǎng)輩的影響程度以及他們對(duì)大家庭義務(wù)的協(xié)議。一些人歡迎年邁的父母或其他親戚和他們住在一起。有些人每周和其他人見面，或者在一些場(chǎng)合去探親。
8. Relationship with friends
與朋友的關(guān)系
Does everyone have their own friends or should all friendships be shared? Can a heterosexual best friend threaten your marriage?... Tell each other what you think to find a suitable solution for both of you.
每個(gè)人都有自己的朋友嗎?還是所有的友誼都應(yīng)該分享?異性好朋友會(huì)威脅到你的婚姻嗎?告訴對(duì)方你的想法，以便找到一個(gè)適合雙方的解決方案。
9. Children
孩子
Children change most things, making a couple spend time, energy and money. How to raise them and who should do it... Discussing about having children before really becoming a parent is essential, and should do that if you want to build a long-lasting family.
孩子改變了很多事情，讓夫妻花費(fèi)時(shí)間、精力和金錢。如何撫養(yǎng)他們，誰來撫養(yǎng)他們……如果你想建立一個(gè)持久的家庭，那么在真正為人父母之前討論一下要不要孩子是很重要的。
