如何在流行病期間有效地激勵您的孩子
Parents have always helped with homework and made sure their children fulfill responsibilities like chores, but the extended and often unstructured time families are spending together during the current crisis creates new challenges.
家長們總是幫助孩子完成家庭作業(yè),并確保孩子履行家務(wù)等責(zé)任,但在當(dāng)前的危機(jī)中,家庭成員在一起度過的時間越來越長,而且往往是無組織的,這帶來了新的挑戰(zhàn)。
After a disaster like a hurricane or fire, establishing structure is important to keep consistency and maintain a sense of control for both parents and children. This includes creating a schedule and communicating clear expectations and guidelines on things such as screen time.
在颶風(fēng)或火災(zāi)等災(zāi)難發(fā)生后,建立結(jié)構(gòu)對于保持一致性和保持父母和孩子的控制感很重要。包括創(chuàng)建一個時間表,并就諸如屏幕時間之類的事情傳達(dá)明確的期望和指導(dǎo)方針。
But how do parents get children to follow the schedule and fulfill responsibilities without nagging and in a way that prevents blowups and tantrums?
但是,家長們?nèi)绾尾拍茏尯⒆觽冏袷貢r間表,履行職責(zé),而不是嘮嘮叨叨、大發(fā)脾氣呢?
1. Involve children in setting schedules
讓孩子參與制定時間表
When children participate in creating guidelines and schedules, they are more likely to believe the guidelines are important, accept them and follow them.
當(dāng)孩子們參與制定指導(dǎo)方針和時間表時,他們更有可能相信這些指導(dǎo)方針是重要的,接受它們并遵循它們。
To involve children, parents can set up a family meeting. At the meeting, parents can discuss the schedule and ask children for their input on decisions like what time everyone should be out of bed and dressed, when breaks from schoolwork would work best and where each family member should be during study time.
為了讓孩子們參與進(jìn)來,父母可以安排一次家庭會議。在會議上,家長們可以討論日程安排,并征求孩子們的意見,比如大家什么時候起床和穿衣服,什么時候休息是最好的,在學(xué)習(xí)時間里每個家庭成員應(yīng)該在哪里等。
2. Allow children some choice
給孩子們一些選擇
Schoolwork has to be done and chores need to be completed, but having some choice about how they are accomplished can help children feel less pressured.
學(xué)校作業(yè)必須完成,家務(wù)也必須完成,但在如何完成上有一些選擇可以幫助孩子們減少壓力。
Parents can present some chores around the house, and children can choose which they prefer. They can also pick when or how they complete them — do they want to do the dishes before or after watching their TV show?
父母可以在家里做一些家務(wù),孩子們可以選擇他們喜歡的。他們還可以選擇何時或如何洗碗,他們是想在看電視節(jié)目之前還是之后洗碗?
3. Listen and provide empathy
傾聽并提供同理心
Children will be more open to hearing about what they need to do if they feel that their own perspectives are understood. Parents can let children know that they understand, for example, that it is not fun to be in the house and that they miss being with their friends.
如果孩子們覺得自己的觀點被理解了,他們就會更愿意傾聽他們需要做什么。父母可以讓孩子們知道,他們理解,例如,在家里是不好玩的,他們想念和他們的朋友在一起。
4. Provide reasons for rules
為規(guī)則提供理由
When parents provide reasons for why they are asking for something, children can better understand the importance of acting in particular ways. Reasons will be most effective when they are meaningful to the children in terms of the children's own goals. For example, a parent can say that dividing up family chores will help everyone have more time for fun activities after dinner.
當(dāng)父母為他們提出要求提供理由時,孩子們就能更好地理解以特定方式行動的重要性。就孩子們自己的目標(biāo)而言,對他們有意義的理由將是最有效的。例如,父母可以說,把家庭雜務(wù)分開可以幫助每個人在晚飯后有更多的時間進(jìn)行有趣的活動。
5. Problem-solve together
一起解決問題
Not everything will go according to plan — there will be times of frustration, nagging and yelling. When things aren't working out, parents can try engaging in joint problem-solving with their children, which means employing empathy, identifying the issue and finding ways to resolve it.
并不是每件事都能按計劃進(jìn)行——會有挫折、嘮叨和叫喊的時候。當(dāng)事情不順利時,父母可以嘗試與孩子一起解決問題,這意味著運用同理心,識別問題并找到解決問題的方法。