現(xiàn)在讓我們贊美一下單親媽媽

現(xiàn)在讓我們贊美一下單親媽媽

Roughly 24 million, or one-third of all American children under age 18. are living with an unmarried parent, according to a Pew Research Center analysis last year of US Census Bureau data. And 81% of those single parent homes are headed by a mom.

皮尤研究中心去年對美國人口普查局?jǐn)?shù)據(jù)的分析顯示，約2400萬人(占美國18歲以下兒童總數(shù)的三分之一)與獨身父母生活在一起。81%的單親家庭是由一位母親領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的。

This has been a growing trend since the late 1960s. The number of kids being raised by mostly single moms has more than doubled between 1968 and 2017.

自20世紀(jì)60年代末以來，這已成為一種日益增長的趨勢。從1968年到2017年，由單身母親撫養(yǎng)長大的孩子數(shù)量增加了一倍多。

For the majority of my 12 years of Catholic school, I was the only student who lived with one parent. And for that reason, I was also, demonstratively, the poorest kid in my school. We lived off one paycheck, or paychecks when my mom held multiple jobs at once. The modest child support went to school tuition.

在我12年天主教學(xué)校的大部分時間里，我是唯一一個與單親父母同住的學(xué)生。因為這個原因，我也是學(xué)校里最窮的孩子。我們只靠一份薪水過活，而我媽媽同時又身兼數(shù)職。微薄的兒童資助用于交學(xué)費。

Like most kids, I didn't want to be different. I wanted to be "normal." "Why can't we just be normal?" I'd often lament to my mom.

像大多數(shù)孩子一樣，我不想與眾不同。我想做個“正常人”。“為什么我們不能做個正常人?”我經(jīng)常會向我媽媽哭訴。

I was embarrassed by our car, which broke down; embarrassed that we didn't seem to go anywhere for vacation; that I didn't have brand-name clothes; or video games; or cable TV; or anything else that my classmates had. I was embarrassed that my dad, who lived in a neighboring state, never came to any school events.

我們的車壞了，我很尷尬。我們似乎沒有去任何地方度假，這讓我很尷尬;我沒有名牌衣服;或視頻游戲;或有線電視;或者我同學(xué)有的其他東西。我的父親住在鄰州，從來沒有參加過學(xué)校的任何活動，這讓我很尷尬。

And I was teased for it. "Why don't you get a new car?" "Your gym shoes are fake Nikes." "Do you even have a dad?" I was often angry. I got into a lot of fights.

所以我被取笑了。”你為什么不買一輛新車呢?”你的運動鞋是假耐克鞋。“你有爸爸嗎?”我經(jīng)常生氣。我打過很多次架。

Of course, my mother, like all parents, only added to that embarrassment. She was, and still is, artistically inclined and health-conscious. We went to museums and art stores instead of amusement parks and toy stores. I went to a summer camp run by cloistered monks ... in heavy brown robes. My mom performed in community theater and sometimes roped me into bit parts. We went to clown school ... together.

當(dāng)然，我的母親，像所有的父母一樣，只會增加這種尷尬。她過去，現(xiàn)在都有藝術(shù)傾向和健康意識。我們?nèi)チ瞬┪镳^和藝術(shù)商店，而不是游樂園和玩具店。我參加了一個由隱居僧侶舉辦的夏令營。穿著厚重的棕色長袍。我媽媽在社區(qū)劇院表演，有時還把我分成幾個小角色。我們一起去了去了小丑學(xué)校…。

There has been a lot of research over the decades that has shown children of single parents report more family distress and conflict and live at a lower socioeconomic status compared to those growing up in two-parent households.

在過去的幾十年里，有很多研究表明，與雙親家庭的孩子相比，單親家庭的孩子報告有更多的家庭壓力和沖突，社會經(jīng)濟(jì)地位較低。

Two-parent families usually have more income and are generally able to provide more emotional resources to children, and that's also a reflection of how little the United States in general does to support working mothers with parental paid leaveand access to more health services and quality education.

雙親家庭通常有更多的收入，通常能夠為孩子提供更多的情感資源，這也反映了美國在支持職業(yè)母親獲得父母帶薪休假、獲得更多的醫(yī)療服務(wù)和優(yōu)質(zhì)教育方面做得是多么少。

For many, a single mom can create a much safer or more stable environment than living with an abusive parent and spouse. Just growing up in an unhappy marriage has an effect on children.

對許多人來說，單親媽媽可以創(chuàng)造一個比虐待(孩子)的父母和配偶更安全或更穩(wěn)定的環(huán)境。在不幸的婚姻中成長對孩子有影響。

A recent study, however, looked at the long-term effects of single parenthood on kids and found that it had nearly no impact on their general life satisfaction.

然而，最近的一項研究觀察了單親家庭對孩子的長期影響，發(fā)現(xiàn)它對孩子的總體生活滿意度幾乎沒有影響。

The authors also found no evidence "supporting the widely held notion from popular science that boys are more affected than girls by the absence of their fathers." What mattered most in terms of thriving, they concluded, was the quality and strength of the relationship between children and parents.

研究人員還發(fā)現(xiàn)，沒有證據(jù)“支持流行科學(xué)中普遍存在的觀點，即父親不在身邊對男孩的影響比女孩大”。他們的結(jié)論是，孩子和父母之間關(guān)系的質(zhì)量和強度對孩子的成長影響最大。

A separate 10-year study on single parenting that collected data from 40.000 households in the UK came to a similar conclusion last year. "There is no evidence of a negative impact of living in a single parent household on children's wellbeing, with regard to self-reported life satisfaction, quality of peer relationships, or positivity about family life," the report states.

去年，另一項針對單親家庭的10年研究收集了英國4萬戶家庭的數(shù)據(jù)，得出了類似的結(jié)論。報告指出:“沒有證據(jù)表明生活在單親家庭對孩子的健康有負(fù)面影響，包括自我報告的生活滿意度、同伴關(guān)系的質(zhì)量或?qū)彝ド畹姆e極態(tài)度。”

"Children who are living or have lived in single parent families score as highly, or higher, against each measure of wellbeing than those who have always lived in two parent families"

“與生活在雙親家庭的孩子相比，生活在單親家庭或曾經(jīng)生活在單親家庭的孩子在各項幸福指標(biāo)上的得分都很高，甚至更高。”

Speaking for myself, I'd go further and say there were benefits to being raised by a single mother, that it was foundational to becoming the adult I am now.

就我自己而言，我還想說說，由單身母親撫養(yǎng)長大是有好處的，這是我成為現(xiàn)在這樣的成年人的基礎(chǔ)。

Being raised by a single parent required an Emersonian amount of self-reliance. I got myself to school in the morning, figured out how to apply to college, paid my way through that education and embarked on a career with no shortcuts.

由單親撫養(yǎng)長大需要有愛默生式的自力更生。早上我自己去上學(xué)，想好了如何申請大學(xué)，付了學(xué)費，開始了沒有捷徑的職業(yè)生涯。

Let us now praise single mothers. The driven ones who choose to parent alone. The brave ones who divorced for the well-being of their kids and/or themselves. They are all raising about 19 million children right now, and they need all the support they can get.

現(xiàn)在讓我們贊美一下單身母親。那些選擇獨自撫養(yǎng)孩子的人。那些為了孩子和/或自己的幸福而離婚的勇敢的人。她們現(xiàn)在養(yǎng)育了大約1900萬兒童，她們需要所有她們能得到的支持。