離婚不僅意味著婚姻的終結(jié)

Something I've learned through my divorce journey has been life-changing: Ending your marriage is about a lot more than no longer being married to your spouse. When I realized this, and was able to accept it, that's when I started seeing and learning some pretty amazing truths about myself that enabled me to move on in a healthier way.

離婚教會(huì)了我改變一生的東西--結(jié)束婚姻不僅僅意味著不再與配偶共同經(jīng)營(yíng)一段婚姻，其意義更深更遠(yuǎn)。意識(shí)并能夠接受這一點(diǎn)時(shí)，我開(kāi)始看到自己驚人的一面。生活還得繼續(xù)過(guò)，我也越來(lái)越健康。

The truth is, when you first decide to go your separate ways and end your marriage, you are very focused on what it will feel like to be without a partner: Will I be lonely? How will it affect my kids? What will our friends think?

事實(shí)上，當(dāng)你第一次下定決心結(jié)束婚姻，和另一半分道揚(yáng)鑣時(shí)，你就已經(jīng)在想象沒(méi)有另一半的生活了：我會(huì)孤單嗎?會(huì)不會(huì)給孩子造成影響?我們的朋友會(huì)怎么想?

After all the newness wears off and you settle into your new life (and I promise, you will settle, even if it feels like you never will), a lot of stuff continues to come up. You want it to slow down so you can catch your breath, but if you don't deal with the stuff, it will keep showing up.

當(dāng)新鮮感消磨殆盡，你開(kāi)始適應(yīng)新生活(我保證，你肯定會(huì)適應(yīng)的，即使你覺(jué)得不會(huì))，很多新的問(wèn)題會(huì)相繼出現(xiàn)。你想放慢腳步、喘口氣，但如果不正面應(yīng)對(duì)，那些糟心事還是會(huì)繼續(xù)出現(xiàn)。

 

 

I kept myself busy so I didn't have to listen to the voices in my head trying to tell me to stop and feel and listen. It took me over a year to get that I was only able to truly heal after I sat in the quiet and listened to what my emotions were trying to tell me.

我使自己處于忙碌狀態(tài)，這樣就聽(tīng)不到內(nèi)心的聲音了：它試圖讓我停下腳步，用心去聽(tīng)、去感受。我花了一年的時(shí)間安靜地傾聽(tīng)內(nèi)心的聲音，之后才真正治愈。

Getting divorced makes you realize you aren't perfect. It forces you to take a long, hard look at yourself and the part you played in your marriage. I'm not talking about making yourself feel guilty and self-loathing. I'm talking about signs that came up early in your relationship that you didn't notice. Maybe you were an enabler, codependent or married someone you knew wasn't right but you'd hoped they would change. Or maybe you were blindsided by something they did, and you've had to start over and learn how to trust people again. Whatever the reasons, this experience will change you. Let it.

離婚會(huì)讓你意識(shí)到你并不完美。會(huì)迫使你長(zhǎng)時(shí)間思考、客觀(guān)地審視自己以及自己在婚姻中扮演的角色。當(dāng)然，我并不想讓你感到內(nèi)疚、自我厭惡。我指的是好好想想這段關(guān)系，回想那些一開(kāi)始你沒(méi)有注意到的征兆。也許你喜歡教唆他人，與一個(gè)你知道不適合自己但卻希望他/她會(huì)做出改變的人結(jié)了婚?；蛘吣惚凰麄兊乃魉鶠榻o蒙騙了，你必須從頭開(kāi)始，學(xué)習(xí)如何信任他人。無(wú)論出于何種原因，這一經(jīng)歷都會(huì)讓你有所改變。所以，離婚吧!

Getting divorced makes you take a look at your childhood and realize you may have some old childhood wounds that still need healing. It can be a big eye-opener and let you know you still have work to do on yourself.

離婚會(huì)讓你回顧童年生活。也許你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，有些童年時(shí)代的創(chuàng)傷還需要愈合。離婚或許會(huì)打開(kāi)你的眼界，讓你知道你仍需提升自己。