不回消息是不是很無禮？

你說的沒錯(cuò)!不回別人消息就是很無禮。下個(gè)問題。

OK, it may be a bit more complicated than that. For instance, what if the person you're ignoring is someone you've told 10 times not to contact you? In that case, it's not just justified to ignore them; it might be downright unwise to get back in contact with them at all. On the other hand, what if some car salesperson is texting you 14 times a week about that SUV you test drove, and you're just too lazy to tell him you're not interested in buying anymore? Are you obligated, by etiquette, to give him a response, or can you just pretend he doesn't exist until he goes away?

……好吧，事情可能沒那么簡單。舉個(gè)栗子，假如對方是你之前跟他說了10遍別來找你的人呢?在這種情況下，不理他們不僅是沒問題的，跟他們再次聯(lián)系反而更是失策。另外，假如對方是個(gè)汽車銷售員，一星期給你打了14次電話、想問你要不要買上次試駕，然而你又懶得告訴他不感興趣。難道你必須得給他回復(fù)嗎?能不能就假裝他不存在，等他自動(dòng)放棄?

Digital etiquette is a new frontier — a new, boring frontier full of half-baked rules that nobody has agreed on. The Bro Council, which taps into that lucrative market of those who wish to cheerfully self-identify as bros, claims you should always text someone back "if you want to stay friends with the person" . Woman's Day magazine — in my imagination, facing off in a United Nations-style general assembly against Bro Council — seems to think ignoring texts is par for the course and that the real key is for the texter to discontinue texting in the hopes of a response . And to think that gender harmony and equality seemed so near.

數(shù)字時(shí)代的社交禮儀是一個(gè)全新的領(lǐng)域，有許多不成熟甚至不統(tǒng)一的規(guī)則。兄弟會(Bro Council)稱，“假如你想跟某人保持朋友關(guān)系”，就不能不回信息?！秼D女之日》雜志(在原作者眼里是兄弟會的對抗者)卻似乎認(rèn)為，不回消息是很正常的，真正關(guān)鍵的是，發(fā)消息的人應(yīng)該停止騷擾。

So who to trust? Some bad news: Etiquette may have some "experts," but there's no actual authority. Of course, etiquette is also based on cultural constructions, meaning that even if Miss Manners were to detail every single texting faux pas or imperative, any rule could easily change with societal shifts.

但是應(yīng)該相信誰呢?這里有個(gè)壞消息：在社交禮儀這種事上可能有些所謂的“專家”，但是卻沒有真正的權(quán)威。社交禮儀是以文化建設(shè)為基礎(chǔ)的，假如真要把社交禮儀的每一項(xiàng)都寫下來，這些規(guī)則也會因?yàn)樯鐣l(fā)展而不斷變動(dòng)。

This leaves us in the unfortunate position of having to decide for ourselves, on a case-by-case basis, whether ignoring a text is fair or foul. And so we kind of end up where we've started: Yup, ignoring texts is rude. But there are lots of reasons to do so that may leave one without fault. So let's set some ground rules to make it easier in the future. You shouldn't ignore a text from a friend or family member. Example: "Hi honey, it's your mom. I love you!" Sure, it's not strictly necessary, but just say "hi" back. Maybe if the text is begging for a response, we should generally assume that a reply is required. For example: "Are you coming over right now with the shovel and rubber gloves or going to swing by later?" Urgency might be another reason that silence might be rude. For instance, if someone texted to ask if you can please come down to the city jail and post bail, you can assume that person would like to know ASAP if you're going to do it.

所以在不回消息究竟是好是壞，我們只能具體問題具體分析。這時(shí)候我們又不得不回到開頭那句話：沒錯(cuò)，不回消息就是很無禮。但是這樣做的理由可以有很多，所以我們不一定有錯(cuò)。不過為了做事更加方便，我們還是可以定下一些基本原則。比如，不要不回朋友或家人的短信。比如你媽給你發(fā)了條短信“親愛的，媽媽愛你!”沒人規(guī)定你必須要回，但你還是可以說一句“嗨!”假如對方在消息中要求你回復(fù)，一般來說就應(yīng)該回復(fù)。例如“你是要帶著鏟子和手套過來還是等過來之后再去買?”另外，如果是緊急事件，不回消息也不禮貌。比如，有人給你發(fā)消息，問你能不能去一下市監(jiān)獄交保釋金，這種情況下對方肯定是希望你盡快回復(fù)的。

The car salesperson? No obligation. Nobody wants to text with a stranger, after all.

至于汽車銷售員?那就沒有回復(fù)的必要了。畢竟誰都不想跟陌生人有什么交集。