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不作死就不會死 13個欠揍的文學角色

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2015年08月05日

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There's nothing quite like curling up with a goodbook and visiting your favorite literary characters.They're wonderful, lovable, and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside。

沒有什么比拿起一本好書、拜訪你最喜歡的書中角色更美妙的了。他們如此美妙可愛,讓你發(fā)自內心感到溫暖。

But with them, come...those other characters. The characters that you loathe. The charactersthat you know you could like, if they just changed that one thing about themselves. They're thecharacters you just want to smack。

但隨之而來的還有其他一些角色,那些你討厭的角色。你知道,如果這些角色能做出一點改變,你也許會喜歡他們的。而面對這些角色,你只想給他們一耳光。

These characters aren't necessarily bad; in fact, many of them are the protagonists of theirstories. But good guy or evil witch, these characters are all in severe need of a wake up call,with a healthy side dose of reality。

這些角色不一定是壞人;事實上許多還是故事的主角。但不管是好人還是惡魔,這些角色都急需被現(xiàn)實喚醒。

Check out our list of 13 famous literary characters we'd like to slap. Who would you add to thelist?

看看我們總結的13個欠揍的著名文學作品角色,你還想把誰加上去?

1.Jay Gatsby, The Great Gatsby

杰·蓋茨比——《了不起的蓋茨比》

The pitiful, self-centered Daisy Buchanan has been classified for decades as one of the worstcharacters of all time. But perhaps the real problem with the novel was Jay Gatsby himself. Theconstant pining over someone as terrible as Daisy is exhausting and makes him every bit as (ifnot more) horrible than Daisy。

可悲可嘆、自我為中心的黛西·布坎南一直被認為是有史以來最討厭的角色之一。但也許這本小說里真正的問題出在杰·蓋茨比自己身上??嗫嗍睾蛳聍煳鬟@樣糟糕的人讓他筋疲力盡,而且讓他比黛西還要可怕。

2.Amy March, Little Women

艾美·馬區(qū)—— 《小婦人》

Amy March is the reason youngest children have a terrible reputation. As a little girl, she's acollicky, spoiled brat, constantly ruining her older sisters' outings. As a young adult, she'ssnobby, uppity and way too obsessed with her nose。

艾美·馬區(qū)的存在讓所有家庭里最小的孩子都有了壞名聲。她還是個小女孩時,就是個愛哭的被寵壞的孩子,總是破壞她姐姐們的郊游。而成年以后,她又勢力、傲慢,而且過于著迷于自己的鼻子。

3.Miss Havisham, Great Expectations

赫維辛小姐——《遠大前程》

Miss Havisham adopts a daughter for the sole purpose of using her as a pawn to torment themale species. HOW AWFUL IS THAT?! Plus, that rotting wedding cake must have made herhouse smell disgusting。

赫維辛小姐收養(yǎng)了一個女兒,而目的只是利用她作為籌碼來折磨男性。多可怕呀!另外,那個腐爛的婚禮蛋糕一定讓她的房子充滿了惡心的味道。

4.Romeo Montague, Romeo & Juliet

羅密歐·蒙太古——《羅密歐與朱麗葉》

Oh, Romeo. You only knew her for four days. Did you really have to kill yourself over a girl thatyou knew for less than a week? Not to mention, she was only 13, and your romance would beillegal in most countries。

噢,羅密歐,你認識她只有四天。你真的有必要為了一個認識還不到一周的女孩去自殺嗎?何況她只有13歲,你的羅曼史在大多數(shù)國家恐怕是非法的。

5.Joffrey Baratheon, A Song of Ice and Fire series

喬佛里·拜拉席恩——《冰與火之歌》系列小說

Simply put, this kid needs a good spanking。

簡單地說,這個孩子需要好好教訓一頓。

6.The Cat in the Hat, The Cat in the Hat

戴帽子的貓——《戴帽子的貓》

Sure, the Cat seems like a fun guy, until you realize he broke into a home, invited his friendsover, trashed the place, and then disappeared without a trace. Also, he speaks in obnoxiousrhymes。

是的,這只貓看上去好像很有意思,直到你意識到他闖入了一個家庭,還邀請他的朋友一起,把這個地方搞得一團糟,然后又消失的無影無蹤。而且他說話的韻腳也很討厭。

7.Edmund Pevensie, The Chronicles of Narnia

艾德蒙·佩文西——《納尼亞傳奇》

Did Edmund actually know what Turkish Delights tasted like when he sold out his entire familyto the White Witch for a box? For those of you unfamiliar, here's a great description of thetreat: "It tasted like soap rolled in plaster dust, or like a lump of Renuzit air freshener: Thetexture was both waxy and filling-looseningly chewy."

當艾德蒙向白女巫出賣他的整個家庭來換取一盒土耳其軟糖的時候,他是否真正知道糖的味道呢?對于不熟悉故事的人,這有一段不錯的描述:“這種糖吃起來好像裹了石膏灰的肥皂,又像一塊瑞風空氣清新劑,感覺又柔軟又蓬松難嚼。”

8.Harry Potter, Harry Potter series

哈利·波特——《哈利波特》系列小說

Harry Potter is one of the greatest literary characters of our time, but he's also one of themost eminently slappable. He's constantly not listening to people and breaking rules, thengetting into danger for breaking said rules. Two hundred points to Gryffindor!

哈利·波特是我們這個時代最偉大的文學人物之一,但他也是最欠揍的人物之一。他總是不聽別人的話,破壞規(guī)矩,然后又因此陷入危險。給格蘭芬多學院加200分!

9.Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

威利·旺卡——《查理和巧克力工廠》

Willy Wonka was a confectionary genius (Everlasting Gobstoppers, anyone?). But the factoryhe manned was an extremely unsafe workplace environment. Children who entered hisworkplace often went missing for unexplainable reasons -- how did no one investigate Mr.Wonka for that?!

威利·旺卡是一個糖果天才(制造吃不完的石頭彈子糖,有人想吃嗎?)但是他的工廠是一個極其不安全的工作環(huán)境。進入他的工廠的孩子們總是無緣無故失蹤了。怎么沒有人因此調查旺卡先生呢?!

10.Effie Trinket, The Hunger Games series

艾菲·純克特——《饑餓游戲》系列小說

You can't help but want to shake some sense into Effie Trinket. Her perma-positive attitudewhen sending children to meet their death is nauseating enough to make you want to send herinto the arena。

你忍不住想要給艾菲·純克特灌輸一點良知。她把孩子們送去面臨死亡時的積極態(tài)度令人惡心,這已經足夠讓你想要把她送上競技場了。

11.Waldo, Where's Waldo?

沃爾多——《沃爾多在哪里?》

Why can't you just be where you're supposed to be, Waldo?

你為什么就不能待在你應該在的地方呢,沃爾多?

12.Tom Sawyer, Adventures of Tom Sawyer

湯姆·索亞——《湯姆索亞歷險記》

Tom Sawyer is a fence painter, death-faker, genuine American psychopath. We don't knowwhy Huckleberry Finn was friends with him。

湯姆·索亞是個圍欄油漆工,愛裝死,是個真正的美國精神病患者。我們不明白為什么哈克·貝利和他做朋友。

13.Peter Rabbit, The Tale of Peter Rabbit

彼得兔——《彼得兔的故事》

Peter Rabbit's mother told him not to go into Mr. McGregor's garden. That was THE ONLYRULE. Come to think of it, Peter Rabbit and Harry Potter would get along great。

彼得兔的媽媽告訴他,不要進入麥格雷戈先生的花園。這是唯一的一條規(guī)矩。考慮到這一點,彼得兔和哈利·波特也許可以友好相處。


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