書蟲5級《純真年代》5. 梅讓紐蘭大感意外

5. MAY SURPRISES NEWLAND

At Highbank Newland was a dutiful guest until lunch on Sunday, when he borrowed a carriage and drove over to Skuytercliff.

The van der Luydens' large country house never looked particularly welcoming, and now in the depths of winter it looked even less so. The servant who opened the door explained that Mrs van der Luyden and the Countess were at church. Newland said he would walk to the church to meet the ladies.

And as he walked along the path, he was delighted to see a figure in a red coat coming towards him. He hurried forward, and Madame Olenska stopped short with a smile of welcome.

Ah, you've come!' she said, giving him her hand. 'Mrs van der Luyden has gone on to visit some friends, so I'm alone. '

The red coat made her look brilliantly pretty, like the Ellen of the old days. He replied, 'I came to see what you were running away from.'

Her smile disappeared, but she answered, 'You'll see soon. 'She added, more cheerfully, 'What does it matter, now that you're here to protect me?'

The blood rose to his face and he caught the sleeve of her coat. 'Ellen, what is it? You must tell me.'

Oh, let's run a race first! My feet are freezing!' And she ran away from him, her red coat bright against the snow. Newland started after her, and they met, laughing, under a tree.

She looked up at him and smiled. 'I knew you'd come.'

Ellen looked up at Newland and smiled. 'I knew you'd come.'

That shows you wanted me to,' he replied, his heart beating wildly with delight.

They walked along together. The ground seemed to sing under their feet, and there was a mysterious brightness in the air.

May asked you to take care of me,' she said after a while.

I didn't need any asking.'

Ah – what a poor, helpless, defenceless thing you must all think I am! But women here seem not to feel the need.'

He lowered his voice to ask, 'What sort of need?'

Ah, don't ask me! I don't speak your language.'

He stood still on the path, looking down at her. 'What did I come for, if I don't speak yours?'

Oh, my friend...!' She laid her hand lightly on his arm.

Ellen, why won't you tell me what's happened?'

I will tell you, but where? One can't be alone for a minute in that enormous house, with servants always in and out of every room! Is there nowhere in an American house where one may be by oneself? You're all so shy and yet so public at the same time.'

Ah, you don't like us!' said Newland sadly.

Just then they passed an ancient stone house, called the Patroon's house, which the first owner of Skuytercliff had built and lived in, three hundred years before. The van der Luydens kept it to show to their visitors as a place of historical interest.

What luck!' cried Ellen. 'We can go in and have a quiet talk. Someone's even lit a fire. No one will disturb us there.'

They went in and sat down by a bright fire.

When you wrote to me, you were unhappy,' said Newland, watching her expressive face.

Yes, I was. But I can't feel unhappy when you're here.'

I shan't be here very long.' His lips felt stiff with the effort of saying just so much and no more.

I know. But I live in the moment when I'm happy. I don't look ahead.'

The words stole through him like a temptation. He got up and stood looking out through the window, with his back to her. What if she had been running away from him, and she had waited to tell him until they were alone together in this secret place?

Ellen, please tell me. Tell me who you're running away from.'

For a long moment she was silent, and in that moment Newland imagined her, almost heard her, stealing up behind him to throw her light arms around his neck. But while he waited, his whole mind and body ready for that wonderful thing to happen, he saw a heavily-coated man walking along the path to the house. The man was Julius Beaufort.

Ah!' said Newland, bursting into a laugh. 'So that's it?'

Madame Olenska ran to his side, slipping her hand into his, but when she saw Beaufort, her face went pale. 'I didn't know he was here,' she whispered. Her hand still held Newland's, but he drew away from her and, walking into the hall, threw open the door of the little house. 'Come in, Beaufort, this way! Madame Olenska is expecting you!' he said.

During his journey back to New York the next day, Newland thought bitterly of Beaufort. He was clearly the man Ellen was running away from. He was chasing her, and Julius Beaufort only ever had one purpose in mind when chasing pretty women.

The next two or three days went by very slowly. There were moments when Newland felt he was being buried alive under his future. He heard nothing from Ellen until the fourth evening, when a note from her arrived at his house. It said simply:

Come late tomorrow. I must explain to you. Ellen

The young man spent all night thinking about the note. There were several ways of answering it. The reply he finally decided on, at sunrise, was to pack a bag with some clothes and jump on a boat which was leaving that day for Florida.

When he walked down the sandy main street of St Augustine and saw May Welland standing there with the sun in her hair, he wondered why he had waited so long to come. Here was truth, here was reality, here was the life that belonged to him!

Newland – has anything happened?' she asked.

Yes – I found I had to see you.' he replied, and she blushed happily. They sat down on a bench under some orange trees, and he put his arm round her waist and kissed her. It was like drinking from a cool mountain stream on a hot summer's day.

He explained to May's parents that he had come because he felt he might be getting a cold. Mr Welland understood all anxiety over health only too well, and insisted he should stay at least a week with them, to prevent any possible illness taking hold.

He walked and read and went boating with May in the warm Florida sunshine. All the time he was thinking about their wedding, which seemed unimaginably far away.

The day before he left, they were walking through the orange trees again, when suddenly he burst out, 'Can't you understand, May? I want to make our dreams real! I want you to be my wife, now rather than later, this year rather than next!'

For a moment May was silent. Then, clear-eyed, she looked straight at him. 'I'm not sure I do understand. Is it – is it because you're not certain of continuing to care for me?'

Newland was shocked into saying, 'My God – perhaps – I don't know!' Both were silent for a moment.

If that is it – then, is there someone else? let us talk honestly, Newland. I've felt a difference in you since our engagement was announced.'

My dear, what madness!' he managed to say.

It won't hurt us to talk about it. You could so easily have made a mistake – anyone can.'

If I had made a mistake of the kind you suggest, is it likely I would be begging you to marry me sooner?'

She thought for a moment. 'Yes.' she said at last. 'You might want to decide the matter, once and for all.'

Her calm intelligence took his breath away, but he could see how painful this was for her. She continued, 'You know, a girl sees more than her parents imagine. I've always known there was someone in your past. I saw her once – her face was sad and I felt sorry for her – and I remembered that when we got engaged.'

My dear child – is that all? If you only knew the truth!'

Then there is a truth I don't know?'

I mean, the truth about that old story.'

But that's what I want to know. Newland, I couldn't build my happiness on a wrong done to another woman! I understand that when two people really love each other, they might have to go against public opinion. And if you feel yourself in any way – promised to that woman – and if there is any way you can keep your word – even by her getting a divorce, then, Newland, don't give her up because of me!'

He had never admired May so much as at that moment. How brave of her to speak so plainly, and how generous to offer to give him up to his former mistress! But with all her intelligence, she had not seen what was troubling him.

There was no promise of the kind you think. But I love you for saying that. I mean, every woman's right to her freedom—'He stopped, surprised by the direction his thoughts were taking.

May turned her blushing face towards him, and as he bent to kiss her, he saw her eyes were full of happy tears. For a moment he had seen a woman who could think for herself, a woman who was prepared to break away from society's rules. But the next moment he was disappointed to see the old, dutiful May return. She seemed to be aware of his disappointment, but without knowing what to do about it. They walked silently home.

Two days after his return to New York, Newland called on old Mrs Manson Mingott, to persuade her to use her influence with the Wellands about an early wedding date for him and May. She was amused by his urgency, and agreed to help. The Countess, who was visiting her grandmother, was also there, and listened thoughtfully to this conversation. Newland had a few minutes alone with her, when she walked with him to the front door.

When can I see you?' he asked in a low voice.

Whenever you like, but it must be soon if you want to see the little house again. I'm moving next week.'

For a moment he was back again in the exotic atmosphere of her sitting room. 'Tomorrow evening?' he asked.

Tomorrow, yes, but come early. I'm going out later.'

It was only half-past eight when he arrived at her house. In the sitting room he found Medora Manson, Ellen's aunt, who had just arrived back from a long trip to Cuba. She greeted him, and while they waited for Ellen to join them, told him she had a letter from the Count to give to her niece. 'Yes, my poor, foolish Olenski,' she added, 'all he asks is to take her back as his wife!'

Good God!' cried Newland, jumping up.

You are horrified? Of course I do not defend him. But just think what she is giving up if she stays here! Palaces, jewels, art, priceless furniture, music, brilliant conversation – forgive me, my dear young man, but one does not find that here. The truth is, Mr Archer, I have heard of your influence over dear Ellen, and I hoped I might count on your support – to persuade you...'

That she ought to go back? I would rather see her dead!' cried the young man violently.

Ah,' said Mrs Manson calmly. 'Am I to understand you prefer that?' She pointed to a huge bunch of expensive flowers on the sofa, with Beaufort's card just visible. 'After all, marriage is marriage... and my niece is still a wife...'

At that moment Ellen appeared in the doorway.

We were saying, my dear,' smiled Mrs Manson, 'here is something a fond admirer has sent you.'

Madame Olenska turned, saw the flowers, and a silent anger seemed to run through her. She rang for her servant and told her to take them to a neighbour who was ill. 'Take them at once!' she cried. 'I don't want them in the house!' She turned to Newland. 'Mr Archer, my aunt is just leaving. Would you take her to the carriage? I'll leave myself when the carriage comes back.'

When he returned, the Countess was sitting by the fire.

Your aunt thinks you will go back to your husband,' he said.

Many cruel things have been believed of me.'

Oh Ellen – forgive me – I'm a fool!'

I know you have your own troubles. You think the Wellands are unreasonable about your marriage, and of course I agree with you.' He realized she was changing the subject.

Yes. I went south to ask May to shorten the engagement. We had an honest talk, our first, in fact. She thinks my impatience is a bad sign. She thinks it means I want to marry her at once to get away from someone whom I – care for more.'

But if she thinks that, why isn't she in a hurry too?'

Because she's not like that. She's so much nobler. She has offered to give me up, for the other woman.'

Madame Olenska looked into the fire for some time. Down the quiet street Newland could hear her horses returning.

That is noble,' she said.

Yes. But I don't intend to marry anyone else.'

Ah.' There was another long pause. 'This other woman – does she love you?'

Oh, there's no other woman. I mean, the person May was thinking of was never—'

Then why, after all, are you in such a hurry to marry?'

There's your carriage,' said Newland.

Yes, I should go. I am expected at Mrs Struthers'. I must go where I am invited, or I shall be too lonely.' She smiled a little.

Newland did not want her to leave. 'May guessed the truth,' he said. 'There is another woman – but not the one she thinks.'

She did not answer, and did not move. He sat down beside her and took her hand. But she jumped up and freed her hand.

Don't make love to me! Too many men have done that!'

It was the bitterest thing she could have said to him.

I have never made love to you, and I never shall. But you are the woman I would have married if it had been possible.'

You are the woman I would have married if it had been possible,' said Newland.

But it's you who've made it impossible!' she cried.

He stared at her, his mind full of darkness in which there was a single point of blinding light.

I've made it impossible?'

You, you, you!' Her lips were trembling. 'You made me give up the idea of divorce, to spare my family the publicity, the scandal. And because my family was going to become your family, I did what you told me. I did it for you, and for May!'

Good God!' he cried. 'And I thought... oh, don't ask me what I thought!'

She blushed deeply. 'But I do ask you.'

There were accusations in your husband's letter...'

I had nothing to fear from that letter, absolutely nothing! All I feared was to bring scandal on the family, on you and May.'

Good God!' he cried again, putting his face in his hands.

The silence that followed lay on them like a gravestone, and it seemed to Newland that nothing would ever lift that load from his heart. He did not move, or raise his head from his hands.

At least I loved you!' he said, out of the darkness.

On the other side of the room, he heard a sound like a child crying softly. He ran to her.

Ellen! What madness is this? Why are you crying? Nothing's done that can't be undone. I'm still free, and you're going to be.' He had her in his arms, her face like a wet flower at his lips. Why, oh why, had he stood for five minutes arguing with her across the room, when just touching her made everything so simple?

She gave him back all his kiss, but after a moment he felt her stiffening in his arms, and she put him aside.

Ah, my poor Newland – I suppose this had to happen. But it doesn't change things in the least.'

It changes the whole of life for me.'

No, it mustn't, it can't. You're engaged to May Welland, and I'm married to the Count.'

Newland stood up. 'Nonsense! It's too late for that sort of thing. We've no right to lie to other people or ourselves.'

You say that because it's the easiest thing to say at the moment. In reality it's too late to do anything but what we'd both decided on. You see, from the very beginning I realized how kind, how noble you were. Very good people don't impress me – I feel they've never been tempted. But you know, you understand, you've felt the world outside, tempting you with its golden hands – and yet you won't accept happiness bought with cruelty. That's better, nobler, than anything I've ever known.'

She spoke quietly, without tears, and each word burnt its way into Newland's heart. 'Don't let us undo what you've done!' she cried. 'I can't go back now to that other way of thinking. I can't love you unless I give you up.'

They remained, facing each other, divided by the distance her words had created. Suddenly, he was angry. 'And Beaufort? Is he to replace me? You're seeing him this evening, aren't you?'

I shall not go out this evening,' she said calmly.

You tell me you're lonely – I've no right to keep you from your friends,' he said bitterly.

I shan't be lonely now. I was lonely, I was afraid. But the emptiness and darkness are gone now.'

He turned away, with a sense of complete exhaustion.

At that moment the doorbell rang, and a minute later the servant came in with a telegram for the Countess. It said:

GRANDMOTHER'S TELEGRAM SUCCESSFUL. PARENTS AGREE WEDDING AFTER EASTER. TOO HAPPY FOR WORDS AND LOVE YOU DEARLY. YOUR GRATEFUL MAY

Half an hour later, when Newland unlocked his own front door, he found a similar telegram waiting for him in the hall, saying:

PARENTS AGREE WEDDING TUESDAY AFTER EASTER GRACE CHURCH. SO HAPPY. LOVE MAY

He started laughing wildly and could not stop. He was making so much noise that his sister came out of her bedroom.

Newland, whatever is the matter? It's very late!'

Nothing's the matter, Janey, except that I'm going to be married in a month!'

Janey fell on his neck and pressed him to her thin chest. 'Oh, Newland, how wonderful! I'm so glad! But why do you keep on laughing? Do stop, or you'll wake Mother.'