I LONG to speak the deepest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, for fear you should laugh.
That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.
I make light of my pain, afraid you should do so.
I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them.
That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of what I mean.
I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so.
I long to use the most precious words I have for you; but I dare not, fearing I should not be paid with like value.
That is why I give you hard names and boast of my callous strength.
I hurt you, for fear you should never know any pain.
I long to sit silent by you; but I dare not lest my heart come out at my lips.
That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart behind words.
I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.
I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my cowardice should become known to you.
That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your presence.
Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.
我想對你說出我要說的最深的話語,我不敢,我怕你哂笑。
因此我嘲笑自己,把我的秘密在玩笑中打碎。
我把我的痛苦說得輕松,因為怕你會這樣做。
我想對你說出我要說的最真的話語,我不敢,我怕你不信。
因此我弄真成假,說出和我的真心相反的話。
我把我的痛苦說得可笑,因為我怕你會這樣做。
我想用最寶貴的名詞來形容你,
我不敢,我怕得不到相當(dāng)?shù)某陥蟆?/p>
因此我給你安上苛刻的名字,而夸示我的硬骨。
我傷害你,因為怕你永遠不知道我的痛苦。
我渴望靜默地坐在你的身旁,
我不敢,怕我的心會跳到我的唇上。
因此我輕松地說東道西,把我的心藏在語言的后面。
我粗暴地對待我的痛苦,因為我怕你會這樣做。
我渴望從你身邊走開,我不敢,怕你看出我的懦怯。
因此我隨隨便便地昂首走到你的面前。
從你眼里頻頻擲來的刺激,使我的痛苦永遠新鮮。
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